How Hangovers Get Worse As You Get Older — You Know It’s True!
Do you remember when in college, you could wake up after having seven cocktails the night before and only six hours of sleep and you’d feel amazing? In fact, you could easily go for a round of breakfast mimosas with your friends and then go for a jog after! Today, you probably can’t believe that person was even you—that must have been someone else who inhabited your body for a few years because after a few years of that, your body begins to punish you; it seems like, every time you drink, your hangovers are making up for lost time, and you’re getting a few, stacked on top of each other, for all those years you didn’t get any. Here is how hangovers change as you get older. Don’t deny it; you know it’s true.
You can’t just hydrate after
Drinking a giant Gatorade the day after won’t help you anymore. If you didn’t drink water throughout the night the night before, you’re screwed.
You cannot exercise
If you so much as attempt a power walk you can hear your brain moving around in your skull.
You didn’t use to get depressed after drinking! But now you feel deeply blue and wonder if you’ll ever feel normal again.
You have anxiety
Mixed with your depression comes anxiety. You think you need to be around other people all day because your brain isn’t a safe place.
The money isn’t funny
If you overspent last night, it isn’t funny anymore. You are solely responsible for all of your finances, and that round of drinks for everyone was meant to go towards your car servicing.
Hangover food isn’t as fun
You can’t just chow down on pizza all day until you feel better; you have something called a slow metabolism now. You have to eat salad or whatever you would normally eat.
You need to conduct your life
You can’t hide in bed all day. You told your mom you’d help her clean the garage and you have a hair appointment at four that you waited months to get.
You can’t tell people
You have to be a bit secretive about your hangover because you don’t want your peers to think you’re irresponsible.
You recover slower
Your body can’t heal you of ailments as quick as it did when you were younger. Having tons of toxins (like alcohol) feels like an ailment to your body.
You aren’t as thin
Nobody is saying you don’t look good! But you don’t have that taught little figure you had in college. And the more fat you have on your body, the worse your body is at processing alcohol.
You shouldn’t have said that
If you said something you shouldn’t have when you were drunk, the guilt as far worse the next day. Why? Because you’re too old to use the “sorry, I was drunk” excuse. People are really pissed at you now.
If you didn’t get ready for bed…
If you didn’t wash your face and put on your night cream (which you didn’t because you were drunk) you really see it the next day.
You don’t sleep as well
Getting plenty of sleep can help a hangover, but you don’t sleep the way you used to; you have too much on your mind now.
You hate this change
The mere fact that your hangovers are worse makes you realize that you’re getting older and that thought, on top of a hangover, is too much to handle.
Places are pricier
Your friends like to get drunk at places where drinks are $18 a pop, so your credit card bill is pretty offensive.
You may be medicated
The older we get, the more medications we are on, and most of these do not mix well with alcohol.
People can’t hang out
Being around the crew you drank with can help. But they can’t hang out because they are grown ups with obligations.
Your neighbors are up
You no longer live in a building full of people in their twenties who also sleep until noon. Nope: your neighbors are up at 8 am making noise, even if you went to bed at 3 am.
Real life is less fun
When you were younger, every day felt like a party. Now there is a stark contrast between how you feel sober and how you felt drunk and it’s kind of depressing.