Woman to Woman: You’ve got the power

October 22nd, 2011 - By Rashana A. Hooks

I know Beyonce told you that girls ruled the world but I’m telling you that you have the ability to rule your own world. You see many of us forget that we have the power to create the life we want. We have total control of our decisions, choices, actions and behaviors. Anything we want we can have – you just have to believe it and go after it.

Ladies, I can’t stress this enough – stop giving your power away to others by allowing them to dictate the circumstances of your life. We have a bad habit of releasing our power and letting our emotions rule, especially when it comes to men and relationships. Our hearts take over our heads and we lose our minds (literally). Somehow we lose our position as “King of Me” and become “King of We”. We lose sight of our individuality and allow someone else to be the cause and effect of our pain and unhappiness. We forget that we have a choice to say yes or no to anything. The truth is you can’t blame anyone else for the state of your being. And you know what else? If you don’t want to deal with drama, you can always leave the relationship. If you don’t want to be somebody’s second choice, you can be somebody’s first. If you don’t want to struggle and live in poverty, go educate yourself for better job opportunities. You don’t have to remain in any situation that is not providing you with your needs. I’m still not sure why we are afraid of change but comfortable with complacency….smh

Guess what? You are in charge of your own happiness.  Someone can add to your joy but no one can give it solely or take it away from you. If you ever feel lost in any situation or begin to feel like you don’t have any control, remember that I told you woman to woman – you’ve got the power.

 

Want to talk to me Woman to Woman or have a topic you would like addressed? Email me at rhooks@madamenoire.com or you can follow me on twitter @rashanahooks

 

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  • Kovee

    thanx for the upliftment Ms Hooks…I needed it!

  • Ayoka

    Oh yeah, and DayWalker is very depressed and sad. Out of the mouth the heart speaks.

  • Ayoka

    Wow Team Nymphis, sounds like you may need this article more than the rest of us. Who has you so brainwashed against empowerment and intelligence? What to you may seem common sense may very well mystify others. You cannot assume that everyone has had the same expeiences or upbringing. So you know you have your own power? Good. Use it to help someone else instead of tearing people down. And maybe some of the readers of this article are 17 year old girls….ever consider that. Just because you look around your life and might have someone there to help talk "sense" into you when you are down or feeling powerless doesn't mean everyone does. And before you stoop to calling me names, stop and pause for a second. If my comments make you upset to the point where you respond wih more negativity instead of an adult reply, you may just want to consider who is really holding the power over you.

    #KeepShiningLadies!

    • Kovee

      lol…i know girl and talk about daywalker…a friend of mine who is a guy forward me this article becus i guess he knows i've been battling with some stuff and honestly i found this article very enlifting to me…so woman haters…bashers stay clear!!!!!

  • HappyWithMe

    I really enjoyed this article. I will definitely be following her twitter. Thank you for sharing such an inspiring article.

  • Janay

    And more media outlets should print more articles, shows, documentaries etc about this subject alone. It will do wonders for black women and in turn the black communities.

  • team nymphis

    Oh! And ladies…here’s some more groundbreaking xclusivity.

    1.when you go to the zoo,as tempting as it might be,DO NOT stick your arm in the lion cage

    2. If it looks like it’s going to rain outside,roll your car windows up

    3.if you receive a email from a guy in Nigeria named pumbagoop…and he tells you that he’s heard so much about you and would love to come here and spend the rest of his life with you…DO NOT send him $2500.

    This has been a psa brought to you by the you can’t be that fckn dumb committee.

  • Terra T

    I love this…. Our feelings and love are like an addictive drug… Its hard to get over but we need to remember life is a true blessing…

  • Pingback: Woman To Woman: You’ve Got The Power | 21 Kisses

  • team nymphis

    do women really need a article to tell them this?

    More breaking news: women, if you tell a man he can’t hit without a condom, guess what?

  • Pingback: Woman To Woman: You’ve Got The Power

  • No disrespect

    Thank you…sometimes this is difficult to remember when you are caught up in a tough situation where pleasing yourself and pleasing someone else are at odds. I'll definitely save this and read it when I need a little inspiration to do what pleases me.

  • MovingOn

    Thank you…Just what I needed to read today. =)

  • http://dreamcatcher3606.blogspot.com/2011/10/confidently-single-knowing-what-you.html Day

    Thanks Ms. Hooks! Sometimes we need reminders of how much control we actually have, particularly when it comes to relationships. It is my hope that more women will begin to realize that they don't have to settle for unhealthy relationships just because they're lonely. I will not allow a mediocre man to become my man. I will only accept exceptional, incomparable man will due. If you let the media tell it there are not enough of these men to go around, blah, blah, blah. But my faith tells me something else. I know I can have the desires of my heart and no one can tell me different. I blog about my experiences as a 30-somethin yr. old single woman living in NYC at dreamcatcher3606.blogspot.com, Take a look at my new Confidently Single Series!

  • jalita

    we do have the power. a lot of times when it comes to men, we forget that WE ARE THE PRIZE, NOT THEM. we should never chase, beg, or force ourselves in their lives or want them to approve of us. we give so much away before we even receive anything. we are the prize, and if they cant see that, thats their loss nd they arent worth it.

  • DAYWALKER

    This is some of the DUMBEST shyt I've read in a long effing time….If women have all this "SUPPOSED" power, then why is it that they can't ever run shyt whether in their personal lives or their actual business lives??? RIDDLE ME THAT,CATWOMAN???…….Sorry, but WOMEN aren't respected anywhere near as much as their male counterparts are, and they sure as hell don't command the same salaries…..The mere fact that women even bother to attempt to compete against high-ranking men in their own fields is laughable at best as far as I'm concerned…..You heffas should REALLY give it a rest…YOU ARE NOT, NOR WILL YOU EVER BE AS ACCOMPLISHED AS MEN IN ANY GIVEN FIELD…….NOW LET THE HATE MAIL BEGIN in 5…..4….3…2..1, BYTCHES…….

    • Dee

      You need help – I hope you have medical insurance. You need to check yourself into every mental hospital in the US or abroad. Grow up for real dude – I mean li-boy – sorry, I mean li-girl.

      • http://twitter.com/MuthaErth @MuthaErth

        dont let that person get you upset…we all know he talkin about his Mama

    • rashonda

      mommy didn't love you enough? Poor little tink tink. May be you weren't breast fed as a child, eh?

  • Prissy

    Very inspiring!!! This was a much needed read!!

  • Terri

    I am a firm believer I wake up and I choose I refuse to let someone dictate or dertermine how I should feel or run my life.

  • meems

    Very inspiring and very true!!! I honestly feel like these words were speaking directly to me! :-)

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