MadameNoire Featured Video

In an exclusive interview with Essence.com, actress Essence Atkins, who I can’t believe is 39 now, discusses her pregnancy and recently celebrating her two-year anniversary with husband Jaime Mendez, who—shocker—she met on match.com. She says:

“I put myself in the frame of mind where I wasn’t going to waste any more time. I met my husband at 36; a lot of people have questioned it like, ‘she’s so desperate.’ I didn’t want to waste any more time. After 35, I felt like I’d been in these relationships, some were great, some weren’t so great, but they weren’t right partnerships. So I did this inventory, I’m not going to just settle for anyone, and at this point I don’t have anymore time to waste if I wanted to have children.

“I started realizing that when I went out on dates, that if this person wasn’t partner potential, to just stop at two dates, or a date. What online dating did was offer me the opportunity to go out with a bunch of different people from different industries, I really didn’t want to limit myself with people who are in the entertainment industry. I wanted to date outside of the business but I didn’t have a network outside of the industry in L.A. I felt like going through the online system, it gave me permission to go out with someone once or twice and say, ‘you know it was really nice meeting you but I don’t feel any romantic chemistry,’ and everyone just kind of accepts that as ‘OK, thank you.’”

I really appreciate Essence opening up about online dating which is still seen as a bit taboo in some respects. Nothing irks me more than when I tell someone I’m single and they ask, “well have you tried that eHarmony or Match.com,” to which I reply, “No. I’m not that desperate, yet.

I don’t know what it is about online dating, but I just haven’t gotten used to the concept—kind of like my mother being on Facebook. I guess I still prefer to meet a man the old-fashioned way, or perhaps online dating feels like an admission that you can’t meet anyone in person. It also sort of kills the opportunity for a cute “how did you meet” story. But if you told me Idris Elba was going to start looking for a wife online, I’d be the first one signing up for an unlimited subscription.

What do you think about Essence opening up on finding her husband online? Have you had any success with Internet dating sites?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

More on Madame Noire

Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN