What is Too Much? Ladies That Do the Most and Turn Men Off

October 24, 2011  |  
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I’m convinced that women hold secret meetings in the middle of the forest somewhere on some Harry Potter tip discussing what turns men on. The only problem is the leader of the meeting usually resembles the wicked witch of the Wild West, not only in appearance but in demeanor as well.

So let me break down a few trends I’ve noticed amongst women that they think are cute but in reality, they’re doing too much. And please don’t give me the typical “men do it too”defense. Stop comparing yourselves to the lesser actions that men or other women do and step above the fray. Comparing down is never a win, now let’s get it on!

Too tipsy
There’s nothing wrong with a few drinks but I’m tired of the belligerent drunk friend who gets loud and stumbles out the club, falls down, cries about how miserable her life is, only to do the same thing next weekend. It’s not always this extreme, some ladies just start talking pure bullShyte when they get too faded and wonder why no one wants to hold a decent conversation with them. Sweetheart, you’re drunk and I’m tired of you telling me how great your wack A$$ job is that you actually hate. What?!? Exactly. Sober up.

Bourgeoisie attitudes
I love “A Different World,” love me some Whitley but I think I love how Whitley evolved out of the spoiled, pretentious brat, I sure as hell don’t miss uppity Whitley. So the bourgeois ladies who walk around with their noses stuck up in the air can miss me with their “better than thou” attitude. Often these are the same women clutching their pillow and vibrator at night wishing some man would give them the time of day. Hey love, change your attitude and maybe someone would be interested.

The Flirties
You ever meet a flirty? The type of woman who flirts too damn hard and winds up turning the fellas off? Yeah, don’t be that woman. It’s cute all right, it gives men and women alike a good laugh at home girl flirting with any and everybody but no one seems interested.

Holier than thou
Shout out to the women praising the Lord on Sunday. God knows I love a good church woman. However, I have a true disdain for the hypocrite church types, both men and women. You know the types I’m talking about. Those who think they’re going to get to heaven faster by playing kiss up with the pastor and scolding all their friends about the sinful lives they’re living. You do know that this is the same woman getting tossed up by the gay dude in the choir whose afraid to tell his family that he likes one of his fellow choir boys. That ish ain’t cute, keep the judgment to yourself, thanks.

Think like a lady, act like a man

Who came up with this stupid idea anyway? Oh I remember, it was that relationship guru Steve Harvey who has a PhD in broken relationships. Why would you listen to that nonsense? There’s been a shift in the past 20 years where women have taken on the “negative” characteristics of men and their whorish ways. I’m not trying to police anyone’s desires but understand that when you’re out in the world sleeping around to no end and saying you’re just doing what men do, doesn’t make your behavior, or theirs, right. For some reason women have started to think it’s cute to make the same trifling mistakes that men make. It’s not!

I know I missed a few, what are some things women do that they think is cute that turns you off?

Email nativenotes at nativenotes@gmail.com or follow him on Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr and check out some his writings over at Notes of This Native Son

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  • guest

    i lost respect for you after reading about the think like a lady act like a man comment and the whitley comment

  • Jennifermclements

    Trueeeee. So,So, Soooo true.

  • Zst Ivory Mitchell602

    I’m a black man and im here to tell you (FACT). Blaclk women are the strogest women on earth. From 400 years ago until now going threw  getting beat, inslaved, raped, sold, children sold, husband beat, sold, and raped. How many other women of other races have gone threw what our black perals have gone threw (NONE) blalck women are beautiful,strong,kind,soft,smart,loving and heavenly sent and hand made by GOD himself what’s not to love. I LOVE you my sisters.

    • guest.

      Pretty much every other group of people ever .  Some which still goes on tod ay. 

  • BrownSkinnedBeauty

    I agree that celebrity doesn’t make one an authority, and maybe we shouldn’t take Steve Harvey’s advice as Bible, but I think that you may have misconstrued his message.  He’s not advising women to act like a man– he’s advising women to act like ladies with self-respect and common sense, who can see things from a man’s perspective.  Interestingly, seeing things from a man’s perspective should stop women from passing it out so easily because they would see that men usually can’t love a woman they don’t respect.  I agree with everything else you said, but on the SH thing, I think you may be mistaken. 

  • notu

    I find it annoying to read a small little paragraph then have to go to the next page, and on and on. And then the article is hardly any help at all unless I happen to be an alcoholic moron. Thanks for nothing.

  • Tammy

    It's obvious that someone hasn't read Steve Harvey's book which is titled "Act like a lady, Think like a man" not the other way around. He also speaks on the fact that women shouldn't be to loosely with their bodies and the importance of getting to know what the person is about before giving yourself physically.

    • Hun3y

      What does Steve harvey know about being a woman? Exactly!  what do you mean he says “women shouldn’t be to loosely with their bodies”? So can men be loosely with their bodies? and if these men are “allowed” to be loosley with their bodies, then who exactly are these men getting loosley with? Aliens? Again, i’m tired of women agreeing to these male dominated ideas about how “ladies should” act? I’m 27 years old, I have a mind of my own, I have class, and I can “act” any way I please. If a man doesn’t like it then guess what? He can keep trucking!! I hate to sound like a feminist but when there is so many WOMEN with these same chauvinistic views as the men, it makes me wonder…how far have we REALLY come in 2011???

  • Korey

    I just don't get men in general. I'll just stick with the men I know well… The ones in my wallet. At least they're consistent.

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  • -jc

    …some men like trampy women. I for one, absolutely do. Not quite skanky, but trampy.

  • Guest

    It's pretty clear this writer never read "Act Like a Lady, Think Like A Man" or he'd have noticed that Steve Harvey was NOT advising women to think like a lady, but act like a man. The difference is important, and the fact that NativeNotes got it backwards just shows he was more interested in being snarky than posting information that was actually helpful.

    I miss the days where journalists actually 1) cared about punctuation, so I could read something and understand it and 2) cared about doing their homework….

    • manna Cerdan

      That is because GUEST DONT HAVE A LIFE !!!!!! If we all take the time we can find a lot of wrong!!!

  • KayKay

    Did you even read the Steve Harvey book? It's not called Act Like A Man, Act Like A Man. You missed the lady part while you were scolding people about what to do with their lady parts!

  • A man can react to a woman who shouts at him by simply shutting down. He can become a loving and helpful man within 30 days guaranteed. See “A Wife is a Terrible Thing To Waste” at http://happilycontented.wordpress.com/

  • omarosa

    this last point is as dumb as dumb gets. makes no sense cos Steve isn’t advising women to pick up men’s bad habits.

    you should have read the book b4 posting this nonsense.

  • angeliawhite

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  • C. Spot Go

    I'm still boycotting this site until they stop stretching out their dumb little articles on 7 different pages. This could have been said on no more than 2 pages. Stop wasting peoples time!!! It's obvious you all are desparate for page hits.

    • Elle


    • phillip Cerdan

      The dont read or sign go the hell else where and GET A LIFE SIMPLETON!!!! Peace

  • Venomous

    Lol @ kim! Your probably right about him. And as others stated why go someplace where you know what you “hate” the most is going to be there. About the article I didn’t take it too seriously. Just wanted to see if anything may be true or made sense. None of it struck a nerve or anything. Its just dudes opinion.

  • jjac401

    …Also, Steve Harvey may have had several broken relationships. I am sure that he has learned from his past to be able to share with us now. I find the information in his book is about women loving and respecting themselves and getting a mate that they deserve. It is very uplifting!

  • jjac401

    Well put Kim – Thank you.

    The article had such a negative spin and appeared to be featuring sista's. I would have had a more positive affect had it been written as Kim has sugessted above.

  • LaLaLaMeansILoveYou

    oh yeah, and this is officially the fourth "What's Wrong with Black Women" article for this week alone…yeah MN, I've started counting. Maybe you should too or at least get some new writers…I believe the "nativenotes" idiot that wrote this article is the same that wrote the Pulitzer-worthy "Cuffing season" one, or "teach young black women how to be good at whoring" article. smh get it TOGETHER MN!!

  • LaLaLaMeansILoveYou

    I know one thing…if they keep using that SAME "angry black woman" picture that's on page 2 in EVERY FREAKIN ARTICLE on this site, I'm gonna stop coming here lol.

    There's a difference between "recycling" and just plain "overdoing", MN…get some new pics, because according to your website us black women are angry all the time anyways so I'm sure there's plenty of other pics of one of us in our "natural state" for you to choose from…

  • Nik

    Ok, I don't get 'the flirty'. I've heard men say a million times that they want women to flirt with them. Maybe it's just this one man…

    • Bob

      I believe he's talking about the women/men for whom flirting is all they have. They are as deep as a spring puddle when meeting them and its always shallow flirtations that you know arent going anywhere.

  • Sweetrose

    I'm so tired of men trying to tell women how they should act. Just because some women do things that you dislike doesn't give you the right to blog and tell all women how they should act. If this is what turns you off, find women that embodies what you're looking for. No need to make something so easy, so complicated.

    • ap III

      to be fair its a blog and the author can write whatever he/she wants. I hope you take the same stance when articles are written about how men should ask

    • Bob

      You're being very unDude like.

      You sir are no achiever.

    • Phillip Cerdan

      All of the respectful,strong,independent,self reliant,BEAUTIFUL BLACK WOMENshould all come together and form a level of sisterhood so you dont become targets of disrespect because a few make some black women look bad! Please let me say this, there are a lot of black women out there that fit all those descriptions above! But you have some  black women who dont care who they sleep aound with,dose it make it right for man to do so?HELL no! We men are dogs!! Strong black women give us a challenge!!! Only give that cookie up to the one who will give you the respect you deserve! Some of us black brothers out here we only look for one thing,The reason we go to the white girls is because we dont get no drama, You maintain all that above you will get and keep a brother,O yeah there is nothing like a fine black sister like they were back in the Day DAMN! And another thing No white can match you!!! Make the brother also come to the plate with the same QUALITIES!!!!!

  • If you the woman in your life then be proud of that love and show it for all to see. A face book posting is not the whole world, but its public enough. But I charge you to make a public statement of why you love that person, It doesn’t have to be a page long. But write some true and from the heart that maybe is hard for you to say in words. Its funny because it easier for people to post their reaction to celebrity news or how good your lunch was. But I wonder how many folks actually take the time to tell the person that they "love" how they feel about them. You can check out my letter on my blog http://www.wediditforlove.blogspot.com

  • I think it’s safe to say we all have our likes and dislikes. This is just his opinion on what he dislikes. Not asking you to agree but think for yourself. I actually know the author very well and he is a good dude for real. But, we are all a product of our experiences and any of you are free to write your own articles about whatever subject you want. I love black women and especially my beautiful wife!! I got to know and appreciate what I liked in a woman by seeing and experiencing what I didn’t like in them also.

  • Venomous

    I know that troll he’s frequents another site and goes harder on black women there. “The touch” he calls himself. He’s an idiot and will not go away. Will keep typing hidden in the basement. But all the opposite talk proves that he LOVES black women or men…idk 🙂

  • Reese

    How about bw giving advise about what other bw are doing wrong when they don't have man theirselves passing themselves off as experts. If you know so much solve your singlism first. Please stop with the bs articles.

  • Cheeze

    Dude Lebowski is a clown……go join the circus……its apparent he has issues for the comments he made……..whats wrong ? mad because black women don't like you clown? It's obvious…you can always tell the cats who have no charisma & personality……keep your personal, subjective and insecure issues to yourself…..here's some advice clown…if you were universal and had qualities black women liked maybe you could appeal to all women…Since you can't and it's obvious, leave them alone. Besides, it's more for us brotha's that know how to treat them anyways you clown!!

    • Dude Lebowski

      You calling me a clown but your name is Cheeze smh

  • Shauntel

    Ssooo what about what men do too much of that turns us off? I have a nice long list and its too much to type on this phone. This post was complete bull ish….

    • Sam Black

      I suppose you didnt read the front page where it stated your said behavior?

  • MarilynLuvHer1988

    this is straight foolishness, i can't believe they allowed this to be posted. if this continues i def. won't be coming on this site. try more uplifting post Madame Noire Staff!!!! we have enough to look at in this world to tear us down. SMH

  • Sam Black

    No, the bad thing is not knowing the difference between confident and arrogance, if you have to constantly remind people of how awesome you are, then you're not confident, you're arrogant. If you have to constantly remind people of your material possessions ie what type of clothing you wear, what kind of car you drive, where you live, how much you make then you not confident, you have an inferiority complex. And far too many people participate in those types of activities and have the nerve to "look down" on others, as if they are "classy" or "sophisticated" while failing to see the irony of how immature they are, that's the "bad thing" that you keep hearing about.

    • DaHonestTruth

      Sorry Sam but everything you just said here has nothing to do with the article. This "male" never spoke of her bragging about what she has. He spoke about her saying how much she loves her job, being classy and being religious.. He appeared to be offended by women who love their job, are a little "bougie" and love God! It almost appears that he's intimidated by a woman who knows what she wants.. I cannot stand when "males" turn their own weakness and intimidation into the problem being with the strong..

      • Sam Black

        Be quiet Aaron

  • IllyPhilly

    We've been here before. This is the same thing over and over again.

  • Dude Lebowski

    Black women are the laughing stock of the world! Deal with it troll…

    • Aoki

      I can totally say that you are without a doubt either A) A pathetic troll, seeking futile existence some kind of thrill and/or validation, or kicks. B) A very bitter man/woman/shim whom has been subjected to the repeated rejected and unwanted advances of an African American woman.
      I sense that you could very well just be the combination of both, with a hint of resentment of unrequited love from a figure in your life whom which was African American herself.
      In the event, it is very sad that you have lowered the few remaining shreds of dignity left to visiting a site which caters to AA women simply to bash them, which tells me that you sought out that which you desired.
      I myself, being of mixed heritage; born to a strong, educated and passionate AA woman and equally yoked Japanese father simply feels nothing but sympathy for you.

      It's people such as yourself that taint the greater good of the human race. Please do all of us "laughing stock black women" a favor and sink back into the hole from which have slithered out of for good.

      My fellow sisters: Continue to be strong, we are a force to be reckoned with, emulated and envied.

  • Whoever you are dude libodomy… go play in traffic. your comment is ignorasnt and offensive and you should be kicked off this site!

    • IllyPhilly

      It's an idiot looking for comments. Ignore him/her.

    • sholla21

      I wish people would stop feeding that troll. They don't seem to understand that people like that go away when they get no attention whatsover. Sigh.

    • Native Gear

      You think he should get kicked off this site??? LOL he was hired by this "site". He's not going anywhere….until they cut him from the payroll.

  • Dude Lebowski

    Just don't date black women and your problem is solved!

    • DaHonestTruth

      If you just went and took a long walk off a short pier then our problems would be solved… SMH!

    • Sarah Deen

      if you're coming out with bile like that goodness knows how you speak to your mother! She must be ASHAMED

    • Orangemoon

      REALLY?? Just BLACK WOMEN huh? So sad, this country is full of ignorance and you wonder why they hate us. We can't even learn to love each other and ourselves. To Mr. Ignorant: I would be surprised if you get ANY women at all. I feel sorry for you. Good luck in your lonely life. If you are a black man you should be ashamed of yourself…and why would you even be on this site?? Hmmmmmm??

    • Kim

      Stop responding to trolls fools! (i say this with love 🙂 )

      Clearly this dude has no life. Acknowledging people like this just makes them come back for more. Why do some people get so worked up over what some random dude on the internet has to say anyway? If it helps picture him wearing a stained wifebeater gnawing on some chicken bones as he types.

    • Reese

      Please dude don't. Do us a favor.

    • MeMe

      Why did this get so many dislikes? I agree!
      Whoever wrote this article seems to be very bitter toward black women. "Nativenotes" is always tearing us down with his negative comments… this isn't even his worst article