7 Reasons He’s Not Ready To Tie the Knot

11 Comments
October 21, 2011 ‐ By jaebi

He’s clearly into you; your chemistry is explosive and your time together has ’till death do you part’ written all over it. You may even live together and have done the dog thing to get your “child” rearing basics up to snuff. All the numbers line up: friends, family, values and yet, he still hasn’t popped the question. It’s no secret you want to make this official. You’ve had conversations and he’s been receptive. So what’s the problem?

While I hesitate to call these reasons “good” at least you can understand where he’s coming from. It makes the hold-up more palatable and buys you a little time before you hit a wall and do something drastic like drop an ultimatum or worse–pop the question yourself.

Your support and understanding of these reasons can be effective in helping him take positive steps forward…to the altar.

 

"His Parents Divorced"

His Parent’s Didn’t Make It

If your hubby-to-be has divorced parents, it may have affected him deeper than even he realizes. Whether it happened when he was a child or as an adult, it may have shaken his faith in marriage altogether. He needs to deal with those issues of uncertainty towards marriage. No doubt, this is a tough one to get around and ultimately, he will have to man up. But the first step is acknowledging the hang up, then purposefully moving toward a resolution.

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  • K west

    Because u shouldn’t make it so easy for him in the beginning. A man wants a challenge and if you give him everything so quick he feels like there is nothing excited about getting married because you have gave him everything already and left nothing for after the nuptials. So all in all ladies if you are looking to get wifed up before u get all dried out because you gave him all the goodies first slow your roll and just keep him guessing I wonder what kind of wife will she be stop playing wifey!!! 

  • Pingback: LADIES HERES A FEW EXCUSES WHY YOUR MAN DOESNT WANNA MARRY YOU…TAKE NOTES | Trapjuice.com()

  • E'standgelisa

    Get it together brothers! We as a race need to value family and family units more. It's enough of the one parent household. Children need stability and acceptance. Brothers shy away from marriage because, I believe, they are afraid of the responsibility of taking care of a family. True, we don't have family to fall back on or support us especially financially as other races. Hey, once upon a time (a generation before mine) family was important and family was there. It's a good thing to go home to mommy and daddy and find love and togetherness.

    • Sundoulos

      And sisters shy away from marriage, because after they've made the decision to change "Tyrone" & that didn't work, she carried that baggage to the relationship w/ the man that will really respect her & give him the attitude that she should've given "Tyrone". It just rests with the individual, which in all honesty, is non gender specific. Women are far from the only victims in this case. Actually, I like the list that was given. What women & men also have to realize is that marriage involves a lot of compromise & sacrifice from BOTH sides. You can't want him to commit & then you want to remain an individual; it doesn't work like that. HE is making a change as well, so you have to meet him there. You don't want him in other women's faces, frolicking & playing, hanging out with the boys all night every night & weekend, etc. Change has to come from BOTH sides of the marriage for the union to be progressive & successful….

  • OMGGG

    ThunderThighs and bossy you are all so right. I totally agree with you all. The media is making it seem like all women want is to get married as if all men are marriage materials. It goes both ways. Let’s put it this way: if he has not proposed to you after a while chances are you may not be what he wants as a wife. But if he proposes and she says no chances are she doesn’t see you as her hubby either. Some men aren’t just good enough to be called husband or father. Same goes for women but we only hear that all day long.

  • BOSSY

    IM TIRED OF THE MEDIA MAKING IT SEEMS LIKE WOMEN ARE JUST SOOOO READY TO BE MARRIED LIKE SOME MEN HAVE NOT BEEN TOLD NO TO A PROPOSAL BECAUSE THE WOMAM WASNT READY OR BECAUSE SHE DO NO WANT TO MARRY HIM.MEN AND WOMEN ARE NOT THAT MUCH DIFFERENT WOMEN ARE JUST SNEAKY AND PLAY GAMES TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE WE ARE HURTING LOL

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001373256291 Beverly Pearson

    "One thing women fail to understand is you are whole within yourself". "You came in this world alone this doesn't apply to twins :)) and your going to leave this world alone". "A man know exactlly what he is doing if he can get the milk free without buying the cow,he going to do it". "One thing if you was not told as a child your "V J J" is the "PRIZE" and if you give it up before you are married,you lose". "Focus more on yourself and stop looking for a man to complete you"!! "ThunderThights I agree with you 1000%!!! :))

  • womenar4

    Check out my blog http://www.womenaregamechangers.com. I spotlight the everyday working women who are making changes and my blog does not focus on women needing a man. It's refreshing from the norm of blogs telling black women they need a man and here's how to get one. Check it out.

  • Cassandra

    You forgot the number one reason, he’s doesn’t see you as a wife. No matter a man’s upbringing, if you are a wife in his eyes he will marry you. I have a friend who has been with his girlfriend for almost twenty years. I asked him when he,will marry her, his answer probably never. She’s good enough for gf, but he ain’t about to give her his last name. All those reasons you posted are excuses, and just another reason to blind yourself to the truth. You are not what he is looking for.

    • Guest

      20 years and she is ok with that?! Do they have kids?

  • Guest

    Whether he's ready or not………..once that time has expired together…………all you need to remember is to keep it moving.

    @ Msknowitall – – – – — I love your response! And it is so true.