Men: Please Stop Trying to Solve Our Love Problems

October 19, 2011  |  

Would you take advice from this man?

Single black womanhood and related issues have become nothing but a fad that can be capitalized on and there are some women who flock to gobble up any advice. So Tyrone and Marcus, random men who’ve never had a stable relationship themselves, are ready and waiting to set up their seminar, webinar, twitter account, or any other possible outlet to draw women in so that they can spit something they heard someone else say and make money off of women’s woe.

I will say black women have dug themselves into a bit of a hole by constantly proclaiming how difficult it is to find a black man who isn’t in jail, uneducated, or running around with three kids. We didn’t think men would come back this hard and tell us we actually have some things to fix ourselves. But where’s the advice for the men who claim they really do want to find a quality woman, but can’t? They’re out there.

I know because they rear their heads every time women go on a tirade about no-good men. They talk about the women who overlooked them in high school, the golddiggers who just want their money, the women who had five children out of wedlock. These sound like some brothers in need of guidance on how to avoid non-marriage material. But no man is going to tell them that; they’re too busy trying to fix us.

If there was an ounce of authenticity to these men’s desires to help us solve our perceived man problems, then perhaps it would be worth giving a listening ear. But when all you want to do is capitalize on black women’s insecurities and make us feel like we have to compromise on what we want in a man, such advice deserves side eye. Especially when these same men don’t have any advice for their brothers. As for me, I’ll pass.

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