Our Apathy: Amber Cole and the Disvaluation of Black Girls

October 18th, 2011 - By Christelyn Karazin


Last Sunday, potentially millions of people committed a felony when they so cavalierly passed links all over the internet of 14-year-old Amber Cole allegedly Performing \’Brain Surgery\’ on her boyfriend while two other boys recorded the event that took place outside of their high school. All of the typical lowest-common-denominator websites gleefully distributed what could be the worst mistake this child has made in her short life. Kids and adults both clucked their tongues, called the girl a Slore, said that she was stupid, and that she deserved what she gets.

Well, I’m here to tell all the people who clucked, I hope you, in turn, get your comeuppance too, since several guardian angels have reported distributed links of this CHILD PORNOGRAPHY to the Federal Bureau of Investigation, because guess what? Distributing child pornography is a crime punishable with jail.  Blogger, “Anna Belle” has organized an online militia dubbed #AmbersArmy to shut down the sites that hosted the videos and rained down a hail of emails to Twitter and Facebook to halt the distribution of this incident.

Hats off to “Anna Belle,” a woman who took up for this child. But I’m wondering when any black-identified or feminist organization will take up the charge to defend Amber and see to the policing and  prosecuting of the perpetrators.

Black Men, Where Are You? This is Your Daughter, Your Sister!

I am honestly so hurt and outraged that today on my Facebook wall, not one African-American man expressed any outrage over this. As men, you are to be our protectors. How things have changed. I was born in the 1970′s and I remember when we would police our own, and if any boy did something like this to a girl he would have gotten a well-deserved tongue lashing, or worse. It wouldn’t have even had to be the father or the brother. Someone would have stepped in. Now, there’s silence. Stop telling girls they should keep their legs closed while simultaneously patting boys on the back for their sexual exploits.

We are watching you, men. We are watching you as you do nothing.

While many are bashing Amber and her actions. Dr. Phoyenx Austin, a physician, writer and media personality had this to say about Amber’s self esteem:

“[Amber's] actions clearly display that she is so desperate for ANY form of male validation and love that she would degrade herself to this degree. As for the boy, or boys, who are no more than parasites, I sincerely hope that they are dealt with by karma’s hand — and maybe even a male relative that decides to step up to the plate. This is not boys being boys. Their actions were cruel and sick. And you can tell everything about an individual’s soul based on how they treat someone they don’t have to treat well.”

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  • Joyce

    Personally, I stand firmly behind the Amber the child.

    She was so desperate to win back her ex boyfriend that she subjected herself to this type of humiliation is proof that she had no self esteem.

    Every girl should be raised to know that she is beautiful, that she is special.

    And yes she needs to hear it not just from mom but ESPECIALLY from DAD!!!

    And that on a regular basis!

  • -Lyrics!

    I personally feel like if Amber was old enough to perform oral, she was old enough to decide that's what she wanted to do. The fact that she's trying to have the boys take must of the blame for it isn't right. She should take fault for her part in it to, nobody forced her… It was her choice.

    The youth from PEMG (a youth mentoring program out of Staten Island) actually made a song speaking on their views of the Amber Cole situation. Views similar to my own… It's worth a listen.

    "Dear Amber" f/ Lyrics & Big Nay – http://soc.li/GFHqbjD

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  • Anna

    1. You're misreading: By "caught" I mean put in a similar situation. And if this girl WAS you, your daughter or whomever is close to you wouldn't be on that high horse.

    2. And whose fault is it that to win the affection of her boyfriend she had to get on her knees while his boys documented it? If there was a better society around her, maybe she would have developed the self-esteem and pragmatical sense to WALK AWAY. My mother made the conscious effort to tell me that boys and men will use any tactic to make you do things that you may not want to do, so why does Amber have to learn the hard way? Why shouldn't she be as lucky as you and I were?

    So you're saying Amber should be punished because she was denied the very education that she is being punished FOR? Do you not think that she lives in a world where assuring the affection and love of a boy she has to get on her knees while his friends document it? This may be what she witnessed the women around her do and no one has, had, will or wants to make the effort to make her see otherwise. And because of this, the cycle will continue.

    COME THE HELL ON!

    You are an obvious apologist to the boys and the society that Amber was born unto. You probably blame the victims of rape because of what the victim wore, where they went, how much she drank and whom she was with.

  • revel

    I feel sorry for your kids.

    • revel

      This was @Kayla

  • Tas

    No I haven't because I was taught to think before I acted. I knew to consider consequences and I knew better than to conduct myself in a manner that I might regret later

  • Guest

    The boys do not need jail time. they are just as unguided as she is. afterall they are the same age as she is

  • r u serious

    Okay yeah but did you do those things in public behind a public school.

  • Marcus

    I guess I've been under a rock, but I literally just heard about all this about 30 minutes ago, and have been bombarded by all the opinions intelligent, ignorant, and otherwise. My take as the father of a 14 y/o girl, is that I recall a conversation with my daughter on her birthday a few months ago. Here's a little background: I have two daughters; ages 9 and 14. Both live with their moms…I pay support, and try to interact as much as possible, but honestly, its never enough, and I feel as if I have a lot of room to improve as a dad. That said, I was at dinner with my baby girl, and part of what I said was this: "Look, you're in high school now, and you are going to start socializing outside of school….you are going to see some things that were not taught to you in my or your mom's house. We ain't rich; all you have in this world is your reputation that took you your whole life to build, and you can lose it like *that*. You may even already know of some girl who is still trying to live down something that may or may not even have happened at some party….don't put yourself in a position to be that girl. Is it fair that boys don't have the same burden? No it isn't. Is it equal? Is it right? Nope. But try explaining that to the girl who is going through hell right now. I love you more than all of your friends put together, and I will be here for you long after they are gone. Worry about what I think, not what they think. " I feel really bad for Amber, but I would be lying if I said she has no responsibility in this just as my daughter has responsibility for her actions…the key difference is my daughter has had responsibility instilled since early on. She has had accomplishments that let her know she can achieve whatever she sets her mind to. And she knows for a fact, that ALL Black men are not walking around with their jeans sagging, trying to degrade her. I just wish Amber had the same advantages….

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  • Guest

    LOL! whatever. If she had the sense not to give head in a public area none of this would have happened.

    • kenneth20748

      Because she put the gun to the head of the person who held the camera. Troll harder lmao

  • Madeline

    They just did an update article, the boy was arrested. The girl is STILL POSTING ON TWITTER like her freaking life wasn't nearly ruined by the internet. WHERE ARE HER PARENTS?!

  • Madeline

    Update: Still trying to figure out where the eff this girl's parents are that SHE CONTINUES TO POST ON TWITTER AND HAVE REGULAR ACCESS TO THE INTERNET after all she's been through. REALLY?! I am all for justice but DAYUM! SOMEONE has to have some common sense about this if the girl isn't old enough to do so.

    Deactivate her twitter, fb, and give her access to the net only for school purposes, wtf! She is talking like she has a new-found celeb status. SICKENING!