How To Deal With Info You Didn’t WANT To Know About Your Man

October 20th, 2011 - By SisterToldja

Your honey is a sweetheart. He treats you well, shows you respect and you have a good time together. All is well…until you find out that he slept with 99 women before you were his “number one.” Or that he was once an avid collector of nude cell phone pics. Or better yet, that he participated in a couple of sexual liaisons prior to your relationship that are currently making you extremely uncomfortable. What’s a girl to do?

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  • L-Boogie

    Know the truth and make informed decisions. That is all!

  • Lyndon

    Some men and women just have a savior complex. There's some serious gratification from thinking we single-handedly fixed or rescued someone. This is very dangerous. We are so piss-poor at taking clues. Hints galore and we choose to ignore

    A man who's slept with that slops of women is a fully developed beast. Unfortunately he's an attractive "challenge" to many women. Stop dreaming. Playas NEVER stop playing. Even if they slow down, it's an everyday battle to stay on the straight and they can't be followed around 24/7.

  • wedon'tlikeugly

    i agree with Rastaman and i will add this. if a woman finds out something she is not comfortable with i would suggest most of the things in the article but i would not suggest rationalizing it away (ie if his number is high worry about his test results instead). i see where she is coming from and i would also worry about getting tested but the writer neglects something: most behaviors are learned and turn into habits, and habits die hard. what mindset is that habit a symptom of? has this mindset changed?

  • Rastaman

    IMO a person is the sum of their past and if you have done things in your past that you are embarrassed by make sure you are forthcoming with those for whom that information will be pertinent. It is not their job to ferret it out; hopefully if they care about you too they offer you opportunities to be forthcoming without the fear of being vilified.

    Not every act in a person’s past fully informs who they are today and so we must weigh revelations as a part of everything else they offer. The truth is some things are going to be deal breakers and in relationships sometimes that a chance we take. What is important though is that trust is maintained. As the old cliché goes, it is not the crime it is the cover-up.

    Not everything we have done is pertinent to people we are in a relationship with but if one is honest with oneself it is not too difficult to determine which things are pertinent. I would also ask that folks be wary of those who over share too early, very often it is an attempt to disarm and make you not be on the lookout for other ish that my even be as bad or even worse. An old Jedi mind trick!

    • JustAshley

      I totally agree with that, but if you have nothing to hide, then you have nothing to hide. Any man or woman desperately searching like some lunatic for there to be something wrong with a person just makes them look crazy. *shrugs*

  • JustAshley

    @Coach True it goes both ways. I've met guys who PURPOSELY searched for SOMETHING, ANYTHING to be wrong with me, and I know women who have met great guys who have done the same. CYNICISM and BITTERNESS has no gender.

  • JustAshley

    HINT# You don't discuss your relationship with your girlfriends. You don't discuss the relationship with his friends. If you need advice, you confide in a trusted older preferably married family member who has nothing to lose or gain if the relationship works out or not.
    *

    • http://twitter.com/DarkCarmel @DarkCarmel

      Amen to that sister….That is what mom's always told me. Discussing your relationship/marriage to everyone is a complete "no…no"

  • Coach

    People need to relax and stop being so judgmental! Articles like this do not help us fight negative stereotypes that we are judgmental, gossipy, angry women. Try accepting a man for once, treating him like he's not always guilty of something, and stop behaving in jealous ways towards other women who we THINK want our man. I keep positive energy, drama free, and open and inviting energy.