What You Should Know About Using A Surrogate

January 27, 2017  |  
1 of 15

Shutterstock

Between 2010 and 2014, surrogacy use rose 89 percent. Think about those numbers. Women clearly began to see the benefits of using such a service, and there is clearly a large client base ready to use it. We live in a world where most couples, no matter their biological limitations, can experience the joy of parenthood. Many couples turn to surrogacy after discovering that one or both parents have reproductive issues and simply cannot conceive in the traditional manner. Some couples, rather than adopt, want a baby that is in some way related to them. If you are looking into surrogacy, there are a few things you should know. It’s a wonderful experience, but it’s also a complex one.

Image Source: Shutterstock

There are two types of surrogates

Many people do not know that there are two types of surrogates; traditional and gestational. The traditional surrogate uses one of her own eggs to have a baby, while gestational one uses another woman’s (perhaps that of the mother-to-be) eggs and is not related to the baby she carries.

Image Source: Shutterstock

And subdivisions of those types

If you are using a traditional surrogate, she can either be impregnated with your partner’s sperm, or a donor’s sperm. If you are using a gestational then, in theory, any viable egg and sperm combination could be used. Most couples, however, like to inject as much of their own DNA as possible into the baby.

Shutterstock

Some women just don’t want to be pregnant

Most people believe the only reason women use surrogates is due to medical problems. A handful of women are perfectly capable of carrying a pregnancy to completion but simply don’t want to.

Image Source: Shutterstock

Why use a traditional surrogate

The process of retrieving one of your own eggs and implanting it into the surrogate’s uterus is intrusive and expensive. Also, some women simply do not have viable eggs and must use the surrogate egg.

Shutterstock

Why use a gestational surrogate

There are fewer emotional complications when you use a gestational surrogate. Since your surrogate is not actually related to the baby she carries, there is less of a chance she will become attached to the baby. Also, she won’t have any legal claim to seeing the baby after it’s born.

Shutterstock

Your surrogate can reject you

Most couples only think about finding a surrogate that they want, but it’s important for you to know that a surrogate has to choose you, too. If a surrogate doesn’t think you’d be fit parents or just doesn’t want someone from her blood line raised by you for any reason, she can reject you.

Shutterstock.com

You’ll need to be very involved

You don’t just hand over cash and wait nine months until a baby is ready. You will be expected to pay for every single medical exam, prescription and procedure affiliated with the pregnancy and to attend many of the doctor’s visits.

Shutterstock

Your friends may act strangely

People can be judgmental, so be prepared. Some people see using a surrogate as unnatural, or they simply won’t empathize with the fact that you’re preparing to bring a baby into your family, all because you’re not growing that baby yourself.

Image Source: Shutterstock

Reasons to go with an agency

If you go with an agency, then your relationship with the surrogate can begin and end with the pregnancy. Furthermore, your only obligation to the surrogate is as the parents-to-be and nothing else. Using a friend or family member can be complicated since you may argue with that person.

Image Source: Shutterstock

Reasons to go with someone you know

Someone you know may not charge you the hefty fee an agency surrogate would. And, as the other side of the previously mentioned coin, the transaction could be smoother due to that preexisting relationship.

Image Source: Shutterstock

There are a lot of agencies

Over 100, actually. So you can shop around, look at different prices, and explore catalogs of surrogates with all sorts of backgrounds.

Shutterstock

It’s good to use an experienced surrogate

Experts recommend that you hire a surrogate who has already had at least one successful pregnancy. Surrogacy is a physically and emotionally trying experience, and you want to use someone who is already comfortable with it.

Shutterstock

There will be contracts

And you can have a lot of control over them! If you want, your surrogate must be required to report every teeny tiny detail of her medical exams, must agree to visit you X amount of times per week, etc. This is a business deal, after all.

Image Source: Shutterstock

Your surrogate should be psychologically evaluated

There are many reasons a woman may want to be a surrogate. Some of those reasons are admirable and healthy, and some may not be. You want to make sure that your surrogate is doing this for totally selfless reasons, and not as a response to any unresolved emotional issues.

Image Source: Shutterstock

There is surrogacy insurance

Yup! You can purchase an insurance policy for your surrogate. This will increase the upfront cost of your surrogate but could help reduce potentially tremendous unforeseen costs.

Trending on MadameNoire

View Comments
Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
blog comments powered by Disqus