10 Things ‘Natural’ Women Wish People Would Stop Assuming

October 15, 2011  |  
1 of 11

With the surge of black women sporting natural, kinky and curly styles, several questions have been raised. Of the most are uncertainties in the workplace and corporate environments. Then there are some from society as a whole.

These are just a few of the assumptions people make about girls with curls:

1. We like neo-soul and jazz
Not every woman rocking a ‘fro is riding to Bilal and Amel Larrieux. Plenty are just as into mainstream music as “the Barbz” (aka Nicki Minaj’s legion of followers). It’s hair not a school of thought.

2. We are vegetarians or vegans
Many women go natural in search of healthier hair; and, while it often translates into a raised level of consciousness regarding food, most aren’t forsaking juicy steaks and Oreo milkshakes.

3. We are “free” spirits

Every woman with natural hair is not a tree-hugging, weed-smoking hippie. We are not walking barefoot with holey boyfriend jeans at peace rallies. Lots of us are typical business casual folks working the corporate nine to five.

4. We are political
There is no correlation between hair and politics. So, please refrain from asking the next black woman you meet with natural hair if she plans to “occupy” her city.

5. We are hipsters

Wearing kinky and curly coifs isn’t just for indie, vintage cool kids anymore. All sorts of fashionistas, stay-at-home moms and executives are spreading their wild locks. Modern styles and new products have made it easier for women to create professional looks.

6. We are fighting the power

Obviously, women who choose to wear their hair in a way that doesn’t conform to European standards of beauty display a degree of pride. But, it does not mean you are going to see them walking around in Panther-face, marching with Al Sharpton or reciting Angela Davis.

7. We are lesbians
This is inaccurate on so many levels.

8. We are urban
The term urban refers to inner-city, cosmopolitan living. That is not where all natural sisters live. Many live in the suburbs. Natural hair is not specific to a particular demographic.

9. We are also into twists, ‘locks and braids
Nope. There are plenty of natural ladies that would never wear dreadlocks, twists or braids.

10. It’s just a fad

I don’t think this one even deserves an explanation.

Are you a natural woman? Have you ever been per-judged based on your hair style?

LaShaun Williams is a Madame Noire contributor and columnist whose work has appeared in the New York Times and across several popular sites, such as HuffPost Black Voices and the Grio. Visit her blog Politically Unapologetic for more on love, life and culture, or follow her on Twitter @itsmelashaun and Facebook.

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  • Sam

    As a 10+ year natural I feel that being natural is political and does correlate with my interests and tastes. I can’t listen to Wocka Flocka. I do quote Angela Davis and would be HONORED to march with Al Sharpton one of my heroes <3 If my hair sends this message GREAT!! :). Some of the points I do agree with though – I.e. lesbianism, hipsterdom and twists/local not being for everyone = so true

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  • Sunshine

    I COMPLETELY agree aith number 9. Everybody and they cousin asks me if Im gonna get locks. Like, no! Can’t a young black girl just grow her natural hair texture. No one asks girls with perms why they wear their hair out in wraps.

  • Nev

    Have i missed something, where are the 10 things?

  • BB

    1. Why the movement? Is not that I don’t like women leaving their hairs natural, is just why making a movement out of it? What are you trying to express? 

    2. I find very interesting that this article is trying to stop all the assumptions about Natural hair women and it dares to say “women who choose to wear their hair in a way that doesn’t conform to European standards of beauty display a degree of pride” . Well by saying that you are assuming that europeans don’t like this hair style or don’t approve it. Let me tell you, I am European, and as most people here, I don’t care how people wear their hair. Also, that if we have any beauty standard, Americans share it with us. I must say that in the States is where I have found more people caring about their looks, including every race. 

    3. By this movement, you are creating a new beauty standard, and leaving other hair styles outside of it. 

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  • Lol I’ve been growing my locks since February. (In my current photo that is mostly fake hair). I got rid of the fake hair and began growing locks just like my mom. Hers are pretty long as she’s been growing them since 1998. I love it. I feel so free and managed! It’s funny about the first point, since I am a HUGE, I mean HUGE neo soul and Jazz fan. Lol, but they whatever gets us by. 

  • Carolina Blue

    @ Daywalker the word is akin and who cares what you do for a living. To each his or her own. No need to be rude. The fellas show plenty of love. Just call me happy and nappy.

  • kjw

    I'm getting a big chuckle out of this entire thing b/c I'm a full lace sista who takes it off with all the men I date. I regret even ever doubting brothers b/c one day I got a new custom made unit and went to this function and kanye came right up to me. All I could think of was suppose he knew I had alopecia? Then next thing I see him with a bald chick! Come to find out they like my scalp shaved off when I take off my wigs. Matter of fact its guys who encorage me to shave it all off. So I guess thats sort of natural. I'm like 2 women in one. I thought they would run away, they seem to like me more in a weird way and my wigs change up like beyonce b/c I get the really expensive nice one's custom made similar to hers. They like the switch ups! I'm natural when Im home when Im out im whatever mood I want to be. hair is just an accessory to me.

  • ErinAshley

    FYI, most natural hair wearers (including myself) keep their hair neat, clean, and well-maintained. It's been my experience that natural hair is highly attractive to men, and largely repellent to ignoramuses. Please check yourself!

  • Not a Mech E.

    Wow. That is an amazing bastardisation of the english language. How on earth did you make it through school.

  • Honi

    @ Jennifer Jenkins – baby, just breathe… it's all good.

  • Honi

    Daywalker sounds like a sad, little self-hating BOY!

  • cocobaby

    @ DayWalker I am a year natural and I just want you to understand that most women who go natural think of that specially when your hair has been such a big part of your identity. I really thought long and hard about this subject and I concluded that any man who would right me off because of my hair chooses is a man that I want to repel. I cosider my hair a quality man magnet. I guess we know which one you are.

  • Open minded

    *men not me*

  • Chelsea

    Just thought I'd provide a different perspective on this. I'm a young white girl from a mixed Southern community, with a few black friends, and I never knew that "natural" hair had this kind of stigma. I mean, with white hair, your options are straight, curly, a perm, or a mohawk. Not that much variety, compared to y'all. Most white people don't even know the names for the wide range of black hairstyles, much less the stereotypes associated with them. I certainly didn't know that natural hair was viewed as a weird or hippie hairstyle (which I think is bogus) and my friends wouldn't, either. So, if a white person is staring at your hairstyle, don't assume we're judging you- we're probably just trying to figure out what it is. 🙂

  • kymalee

    Those ppl are just plain stupid!!!

  • kymalee


  • Carol

    I'm a white woman with straight hair who can't imagine why anyone would straighten a head of curls. You rock your curls, girls cuz this one's jealous:)

  • Britt

    i am natural and i have very long hair…i think what you meant to say is that you like long STRAIGHT hair…theres more than one type of beauty booboo…dont let the media fool you…if black ppl had never left africa you would even be thinkin about straight hair…ur preference is just an influence ofmedia…

  • Check out my YouTube channel that demonstrates how I put a retro 1940s twist with naturally textured hair http://www.youtube.com/thepinupnoire. Classic styles with a twist 🙂

  • klauren

    I think a common misperception is that natural women have something against women who choose to relax their hair. Sure, there are those judgemental women who chose to go natural to prove a point, and may have something against women who choose not to (and reinforce the streotypes), but many just go natural because its just better for their hair and lifestyle, and can really care less about what others are doing with their hair…

  • numah

    thank you! article summary: just because i wear my natural hair doesn't mean I love myself or my culture. don't get it twisted (literally) mainstream america please don't forsake me!

  • u forgot another one: People assume I or my parents were born on a carribean a island

  • Henry

    I just discovered this website, Madamme Noire yesterday. I'm caucasion, and it was only 20 minutes before I realized that it is geared toward Black women along with being applicable to all women really.
    What gets me nowadays is people who may be only &frac12; to &frac14; Black trying to get on the bandwagon. I don’t think these people go though all the trials and tribulations the others’ do. As far as I’m concerned they’re taking a free ride off the other people’s back. Please, no hatemail – just an observation – of these people to do so when it’s convenient.

  • Hmm.. well this electrical engineer natural sista begs to differ. If you prefer a rats nest of weave, then thats your preference. There are plenty of weaved, processed haired women in the world who don't keep a clean body or house for that matter. But I am not one of them. And I get frequent compliments. Oh and I work in a 95% european office and they don't have any issues with my hair… nor do the 5% of the black folks. Call it what it is…. you dont like the hair style and that's cool. I am who I am, who God made me to be. And my husband and countless other men like me the way I am. So I supposed, your the odd man out…


  • #7 REALLY !!??!! As a natural lady, I have NEVER heard that one!!

  • Tonya

    Oh, I'm so glad to hear that because believe me 'brothers' like you may as well run because we (i.e. beautiful, well put together, got it going on, natural sisters) couldn't be bothered with you anyway.

  • JoeClyde

    Well A Lot of Natural Black women jock white guys

  • zmorgie

    wow, despite being caucasian with only just wavy hair, I'm now tempted to pay thousands of dollars to imitate their hair just so that on the off chance we ever meet you won't find me attractive. That's how much I do not want "THIS MECHANICAL ENGINEER" (by the way, thats really not as impressive as you think it is) to be interested in me. Ew. I love the natural curly hair of these women, & if I was blessed with it I'd certainly keep it!

    btw; try a blowup doll. they're easier to impress.

    • kymalee

      love it …lmao

  • Oh, yeah. This summer I got a blowout to see how long my hair had gotten (and to make my mom happy for a little while). It'd didn't last long because my hair has gotten used to being wavy, but you can see what it looks like in my pic. I think this is the longest my hair has ever been and I had a crew cut to years ago. That is two years of growth compared to the 19 years of growth it had when I rocked a perm. The two years produced better results, my hair is stronger (actually hard to break now), softer, lighter, and longer.

  • Stace

    "Stop forcing brothers to like you hair."

    WOWWWW. THIS IS SO SAD. SMH. I'm SO glad I am unaffected by this madness. Men LOVE our hair ladies. Don't be fooled by the shallow few. We have been so brainwashed 🙁

    Do you ever hear white men saying to women – "Stop forcing us to like you hair." ?
    Do you ever hear asian men saying to asian women – "Stop forcing us to like you hair" ??
    Do you ever hear hispanic men saying to hispanic women "Stop forcing us like you hair." ???

    And his answer would probably be "No, of course not, because those women have GOOD HAIR."


    If you don't like it, that's your perogative. But also, admit that the reason you don't like it is SHALLOW and SAD… and most likely rooted in inexperience with our hair, ignorance and/or passive self hate.

  • HappyWithMyCurls

    MadameNoire, I enjoyed your article and found that several people make many of the assumptions that you mentioned; it's unfortunate, but it does happen. I have been both relaxed and natural. I decided to go natural approximately 5 years ago, but have since tried different serums to keep it straight, dyed it multiple colors, and pressed it to the point my curls disappeared. I have since decided to fully embrace my curls, and recently cut the colored and overstyled and pressed ends. Fortunately, I have received more positive attention now that I have my curls again. As I've aged, I've learned to let the small stuff roll off my shoulders. If you don't like my curls, I can careless. If you do like my curls, that's great to hear, but either way does not make a difference to me. I like my curls, so that's all that matters.

  • jasyn

    I'm a white man with a black wife. A year ago, she decided to go natural. Funny thing is people do make so many assumptions about her. It is true that she's health conscious, of course, and she uses mainly organic hair products now. For her, it was just about saving money and not destroying her hair. And not feeling pressured to look European. She used to spend a lot of money on extensions and weaves only to have her real hair fall out all the time. Now, she's proud to be sporting her real hair (though she does flat iron it a bit) and it looks just as nice, in my opinion. She's still hit on just as often. Her hair is much healthier today than ever. She's young and pretty, and I feel like a lucky man. I just wish people would just stop assuming things that aren't true.

  • WhoCARES

    "There is no correlation between hair and politics."

    Wrong! Just say that YOU are not political. But you are watering down the very essence of black hair, and hair in general to say that there is "NO" correlation to politics. Do your research!! And like other comments show, there is NOTHING wrong with being "political," and quite frankly there is nothing wrong with not being political. You are trying so hard to distance any substantial historical meaning from natural black hair; reality check, there are some things that you cannot ignore! Just quit with these idiotic slide shows with the weak commentary, and speak for yourself!

  • Daywalker, you're an ignorant fool! I went natural 4 years ago when I got pregnant with my daughter and I noticed how fast my hair was growing and it never grew that fast when I was wearing a relaxer. After I gave birth to my daughter, I realized that I don't need a relaxer anymore and I look better natural.

  • Elle

    Agreed. The line in number 7 really irked me, because not everyone who DOESN'T rock a natural style does it because they want to "conform to European standards of beauty." I know quite a few women who have given me flack for having a relaxer, and I think it's incredibly unfortunate (these typically are the same women who lecture me about how unhealthy it is, but dye their hair a different color each week). I try really hard not to pass judgement myself, because for the most part, people are pretty respectful…but when even a few people are so rude to me over a personal choice, it gets frustrating.

    We should be celebrating ALL types of beauty, not elevating one choice over another. People have their own reasons for doing what they want to do with their OWN hair, and unnecessary lecturing or acting like you're above someone is so counterproductive to our already overly-scrutinized community (this goes for everyone, by the way, as I've had friends who are natural get teased and criticized as well).

    I guess my point is: Do you. Let me do me. It's that simple. We're all beautiful in our own way, so let's celebrate that instead of being so snarky 🙂

    • Honi

      I have to agree with celebrating ALL types of beauty. I wear my hair in locs, and I don't HATE or LOOK DOWN ON sistahs who weave and perm. I used to wear my hair in those styles, too. My locs are just the journey that I am on at this particular time. I love ALL OF US!!

  • SexiQueen

    If anyone is forcing it's brothers. When I got my hair cut short two years ago because of a health issue, and then went natural and keep it in a buzz cut….superficial "brothers" like you had plenty to say about it. The REAL MEN in my life (who don't know about my health issue) LOVE IT. They tell me it makes me look younger and even prettier. You like what you like. Don't get at a Natural Woman if you have hair issues

  • William

    As a white man I have to say I was confused by this article, I have never made any of these assumptions and would think anyone that does so must be a bit dim.

    I love the way natural hair looks, what God gave you is wonderful, and how you wear it should be strictly your choice.

    • Iamnotmyhair

      Well said and well stated, "what God gave you is wonderful, and how you wear it should be strictly your choice." I wish everyone had your view.

    • maggie

      Of course you are confused as a white and almost every black women with natural hair understands this article. I understand that you are trying to bestow good nature but white people need to humble themselves and know that the white supremacy forced on black in the western world is beyond your understanding. Accepting our hair in this culture has been just ONE example of a challenge for black people for many, many years. You are just hearing about it now.

  • VLL

    No one is forcing anyone to like it. But don't say it's dirty and looks like a rat's nest. That's not even close to being true. And if you're a black man who has a problem with natural black hair, then you're a sad person, no matter what your degree is in.

  • VLL

    Then you're a waste of black skin. Natural hair does not mean not groomed or neat. Believe you, we don't need any man who judges us on the way our hair grows out of our head. We're Black, we don't have straight hair. We beat it down with chemicals to get it straight. Don't be so attracted to chemical alterations, brotha man. You just outted yourself as a self-hating loser with this statement.

  • Positive assumptions:

    1.) Women with natural hair are perceived to appreciate/respect themselves more.
    2.) They also seem to be viewed as more educated.

    Personally I decided to go natural the other year because I had always wanted to since I was a young girl. Finally did it and can't believe I didn't sooner. I can barely remember how I used to wear my hair. 🙂 It also screens the type of men that approach me. i.e. The DAYWALKER type. lol God bless natural hair and for the women not caught up in how others see us but how we see ourselves. And for the new repliers just ignore DAYWALKER he reads all of these articles that have nothing to do with him just to leave negative energy on a positive space. DAYWALKER get a life cause if you had one you wouldn't need to be on articles for black women. How pathetic. . . Where's your barbie?
    And just to piss off people like him I wear the biggest fro with the biggest flower I can make! Buy yours at link below…

    Ladies do you extremely,
    L.Y.L.A.S. Love Ya Like A Sista
    Paris Jenai < http://www.senseofashion.com/parisjenai&gt;

  • PerfectlyBrown

    I think every woman should wear her hair how she wants to regardless of what any man thinks. I’m natural, but I press my hair and I would NEVER let a man tell me he didn’t like my hair pressed, so wear it curly! If you want to grow it, sew it, curl it, fro it, or loc it, or relax it then do it! I hate it when black women who are natural make ignorant comments about black women who choose to get relaxers, that just make those types of natural sisters look silly. There is nothing wrong with a black woman getting relaxers, it doesn’t mean she has self-esteem issues just because she doesn’t like her natural look. Different strokes for different folks, it’s a personal preference. People need to stop hating on men who don’t like certain natural looks, b/c women won’t talk to men who have certain hair styles either…I don’t knock a man for not wanting to date me b/c he doesn’t like my hair, every one is attracted to what he/she is attracted to and while personal looks aren’t the most important factor in choosing a mate, they do count! Just do you and don’t worry about others and what they’re doing!

  • SayCheese

    But most natural hair people do tend to be more educated then weave or perm wears. From what I notice and encountered it's just my opinion.

  • annacutie

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  • This is hilarious but oh so damn true.

  • Asia

    You know…no personal offense, but this article just seemed DUMB to me. While some of the things you say are true, MOST Black women who arrive at the point of wearing their naturally and who were not born with what some of us call "good hair", ARE conscious, political, earth centered (you might say "Hippie"), concerned about our people, our health and our communities. Wearing natural hair in a society hat values white standards of beauty, DOES require a shift in consciousness. So many of the things you state are…stereotypes are in fact truism's about women who wear their hair naturally. I also acknowledge that while SOME women who wear their hair "naturally" are more shallow, careless about their health and unconcerned about their community, that is not likely, the majority.

  • Dominique

    I've been natural for 7years now and I love it! I absolutely love the freedom…I can straighten it, curl it , wear my fro, braid it, weave it…whatever I feel like! It makes my life easier, but I get hit on the most when I have my hair out in a fro. It's huge as hell, and men can't help but touch it b/c it's also baby soft. Anyone that doesn't like it can kiss my a**.

    • chrissy

      @Dom they wanna grab ya hair from the back and say show me what ya working wit…..lol…..i can't wait for my fro to be huge……

  • Likewaterforchoc

    If name-calling makes a "brother run away", he is definitely not one that I need in my life. I don't like a man with no steel in his spine. I don't like puccies. If you like hair other than natural hair, why would a woman waste her time with you. Because that's what you would ultimately be…a waste of time.

  • Rachel

    Why do you assume natural hair isn't long? After 18 months from cutting my permed hair, my hair is below my shoulders when I twist it without weave.

    If you need more examples of longer black hair you should visit Black Girl Long Hair care forum's blog.

    Nobody is begging you to love kinky hair. There are already enough men that do!

  • mike d

    A lot of these are redundant. Really, you only have maybe 6 or 7, not 10. Admit it, you were just trying to stretch the list so that you could say you have 10 items, when you really didn't. Otherwise, I agree with you 100%, stereotypes are lame and you shouldn't make assumptions about people simply based on how they look.

  • Guest

    YES to the type of men natural hair attracts!

  • moreisay

    Fun fact: Oreos are vegan.

    • SayCheese

      Exactly. The cream filling is plant base oil.

  • BrownHairedBlonde

    People seriously care about this??

  • Mizca

    Personally I love my natural hair. The only thing that gets on my nerves is the constant reference to Jill Scott and Angie Stone. I love them both as artists but really? I mean, yes I am plus sized and I rock a bush, but I don't remotely look like either of them……come on people!

  • MST

    I wear my hair natural and have had gay women approach me, especially when it was very short. I just said no thanks, I',m not interested, and kept it moving.

    Women should be able to wear their hair in whatever style makes them happy, whether it be relaxed, in a weave, natural, etc. It's really nobody else's business (unless they're paying for it)!

  • MST

    Get a life, ignorant azz.

  • cute_BIG_gul

    i have officially let my perm go out at 23 after one took all my hair out and I have never looked back and wouldn't change for the world, I wish I had never put that poison in my head, I 'v finally got my mother, my aunt and some of my homegirls to come around. My hair has never been healthier, longer, curlier, shiner and my scalp so scab free in my life. I work my hair all kinda ways, most of the article applied to me. I felt it. It is a sense of pride to in my eyes. women wearing wigs/weaves almost look ridiculous to me now. my hair is to middle of my back and the texture make is so versatile I am a Hair chameleon, I still rock a mean press from time to time but my hair feels like a crown to me natural, a feeling I know white women will never be able to feel. As for the ignorant comment about the lack of men that like it, it depends on where u live in the U.S. I have lived all over this country and its not the same ignant mid set everywhere please believe me, my boo tells me he like my hair better when its all BRAIDED up.

  • isabelle

    This was a really good article! Especially the comments hahaha,daywalker had me dyin.
    I don’t feel offended at all,I have many male friends who thought the same way,its about preference..no biggie!I personnaly went natural 2 months ago,for no other reason simply being tired of the limp lifeless short hair u eventually have with relaxer use. But being natural doesn’t mean always sporting an afro,twists,braids..its has so much versatility that relaxed hair doesn’t have.
    And to the post above me not all of us who have natural hair look down at ppl with relaxer,my mom is relaxed and so are my sisters! Its all about what works for you..after all its just hair,and hair is dead! So who cares what we do with it…there’s things that shouldn’t be taken so seriously.

  • rainbow

    daywalker is soo sad. Is it too late for your mother to abort you? I hope not

  • Muffy

    I’m honestly not trying to offend or be rude but some natural females, including some on this post, truly seem like yall have some kinda superiority complex. Like females who relax their hair are some kinda sell outs. I relax my hair but I never get it bone straight. If I could wear it naturally curly without having to cut it off I would. I simply love my hair, just as yall do yours. And theirs nothing wrong with the occasional weave.

    • Ownit.

      Just like health buffs take a holier than thou stance because they downed some veggies and jogged.

    • Guest

      You don't have to chop your hair off to go natural. That's another huge myth. You can grow your hair over a number of years and with regular trims and deep conditioning treatment, you'll end up with a head of healthy, natural hair. I chose to shave my head because that's what worked for me. That was MY own, personal decision. I was very happy I did it because I would never have made it 2 1/2 years if I had to transition.

  • sayitwithyochest

    I'm glad my man doesn't care about the way I wear my hair. It doesn't change the person that I am within. By the way, I have natural hair.

    I don't understand why men are concerned with how a woman wear her hair.

  • Beka

    I feel fake the few times I have straightened my hair. Its not who I am and everyone knows I have curly hair so they know its fake….how can anyone pretend to be real when they spend so much time on being fake? Does anyone remember the Fresh Prince Episode when he was stuck in the room with his fiancee after an earthquake and she took everything off that made her "pretty"? That was the best episode and made such a fine point.

  • clevaclarity

    I have been natural for only 2 years and said to say I have encountered quite a few of these. Not that some of these things don't apply to me lol just that before I was natural no one seemed to assume or dare to question me to my face. The saddest one is people assuming my hair implies something about my sexuality. I got this mostly from people close to me who sad. "aren't you afraid people will think your gay?!"

    • cleverclarity


  • Essence29

    I could care less about what people think of my hair. It is funny though. Alot of white people who see me automatically assume that I smoke weed or love Bob Marley because I have very long dreds. I do like Bob Marley but, there is no way in the world that I could smoke weed. I tried it once and I hated it. LOLOL!!

  • Natural Sista

    I would like to see an article about the misconceptions of girls with weaves. I wore one once to grow out a relaxer (1st one in 7 years, SUCH a bad choice!) and was surprised about the "turncoat" response I got.

  • activistjazzlover

    this article is super-judgmental in tone, insulting to those of us who are all the "types" that you are slamming.. lame

  • I guess it's because I'm an "oldhead," but I really don't care what people think of my hair — and none of you reading this should either!


    I cant lie I have assumed some of the above when Ive seen a few natural sistas… but that same could be said about me for wearing weaves, lace wigs etc. It is always assumed that I hate myself, Im trying to be something I am not, Ive been brainwashed by the Europeans etc etc…

    the bottom line is that we all need to stop trying to force people into these little categories and stereotypes and just allow everyone to be the individual that they are.

  • amber

    "Behaviors like that is what make brothers run away from you"

    On your mark..
    Get set…. runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

    And PLEASE don't look back b/c no one is standing there looking for you.

    • kymalee


  • G love

    Also people assume that women with natural hair have these stereotyped grades of hair. I know women who are as dark as Wesley Snipes and have Type 3a hair and long, just like I know women that are as light as Tisha Campbell who hair is a snap short and always rock perms and weaves and their natural hair texture is a Type 5c(lol) but because their skin is light people assume that they have long "good" hair, most of the time not the case.

    • SanFranciscarian

      Agreed! Hair-braider and mom to mixed kids. I done seen it all. Color don't = good.


      Yes! Yes! And Yes! My cousin and I were just speaking of this same subject the other day. Our Grandmother, (her Maternal and my Paternal) was white. My Maternal side, same story for my Grandmother there too. We both have shorter hair, she prefers to keep hers relaxed, but I choose to keep mine natural. The assumption is because of our skin color that we should be the "light skin long hair chicks." (4C curl pattern). However, we promptly remind them that color has nothing to do with who we are are, or the way our hair is styled or managed. On the converse, like you said, our browner sisters and cousins have the type 3a hair, who everyone automatically assumes is weaves. It's a sad state that so many people are self hating in the example above "DAYWALKER" Daywalker, you need prayer and to learn to love yourself. I'm going to pray for you that you will learn to love yourself and all people regardless of their color of their skin or texture of hair.

    • Deb

      Amen to that!

      I know a girl who has a looser curl texture with dark skin. I always used to tell her, "Tasha, i LOVE your hair."
      She always kept it so moisturized and neat. lol

      Alot of people who don't know me assume I'm "mixed" because I am "light skinned". But my hair is just like the majority of black women. Kinky and doesn't hold moisture well. I have been "natural" all my life. Never had a perm, but I usually wore my hair in braids, and if it wasn't in braids, it was straight and in a bun. Just cut it off 3 weeks ago to just below my ears when it was previously to my collar bone and 2 inches down my back. I've never had my hair this short before!

  • Ouch..looks like some press and permed sisterz are jealous of us naturalistas. I LOOOVVVEEE my natural hair. Once, I even had a NIGHTMARE I was gettin a perm lol. Anyhoo this was very interesting. I fall into abt half of these stereotypes so, ppl arent juat stereotyping for no reason. And for the people upset with the natural hair haters…who cares abt them?? Be happy they arent and will never be in ur immediate circle

  • april thomasel

    I’ve had my locs now for about seven years now. i can honestly say that I love my hair!my locs are beautiful and I”am not just tooting my own horn. love walking into a room and all eyes are on you.because I’m the one standing out I don’t look like every other girl thyroidow how many guys love my hair black and whites women also I would really encourage any women to go natural and your hair grows so much faster when its at its natural state hair is to the middle of my back and I’ve had some women ask me if they were loc add ons like if it is so impossible to have long hair and it not be fake.that’s insane!why are black woman afraid to step out side of the box.have you seen all of the beautiful women that are on you tube with locs?

  • Meme

    This CHEMICAL ENGINEER would not be interested in a narcissistic male sitting at home commenting on Madame Noir.

  • Tess

    forgot another…we smoke weed!!!!!

  • wildflower

    these comments are ridiculous as well. I went natural because i wanted to do it not because i cannot comb my hair. I love it!!!!

  • I don't have natural hair but believe me, you are dismissed!

  • Xenobia

    Everyone is entitled to their own opinion so although I do not agree with Daywalker, he shouldn't be subjected to the metaphorical nap fest anymore than a woman should be subjected to his disapproval on a daily basis if he did decide to date natural haired women on occasion.

    Not listed but my personal pet peeve is people who think that there's some in depth story attached to the hair. Questions like when did you decide to cut off your perm….. I guess this fits into the category of politics and fighting the power but some things just aren't that deep. I prefer to have all of my deep thoughts in a chemistry lab and have never once sat around pondering who I am in relation to my hair because I can always shave it off and at that point I guess I'd be out of thoughts.

  • Chyeah

    I doubt that many 'natty sistas' have to shame anyone into liking their hair. it's either you do or you don't.

    And methinks that you're intrigued also…

  • Chyeah


    Ain't nobody checkin' for yo' stankY black azz, DIKKWALKER!

    …stay mad, dumbo…

  • My hair who cares

    This article is silly. Like a lot of the assumptions are true! You can’t tell me I don’t want to take down the system or be all hippy chic when I’m rocking a fro.

  • Sue

    How is having natural hair not taking care of yourself? Contrary to what you believe, natural hair takes a lot of maintenance.

    • I get tired of hearing that natural hair takes lots of maintenance. It doesn't! Nothing is more maintenance than having a perm, rolling your hair at night, going every six weeks to a salon, etc. I am so glad that I am free of sitting in a beauty shop for hours!

      • Whatever!

        it definitely does, but as a opposed to perms and wraps, re-wrapping nightly finding products that won't damage or break your hair, molding, shaping training perfecting your hair, not every six weeks but every day and not to mention the natural sista's who will sit in chairs for hours to get sew-ins…natural hair is work and if you don't know, now you know

      • Stace

        You and me both!! Stop the madness. When I first went natural is was easy and then of course as it got longer it was a huge challenge and did in fact take lots of time. It's a big experiment where you are constantly trying new tools, products, techniques, etc. It's soooo fun & exciting but at times exhasuting. BUT, now at 3 years natural (yaaay me lol), after a few trials and tribulations, and learning all about this 'new' hair I knew nothing about for 30 years, I have mastered my hair. And guess what people, it's SO EASY to take care of now. Once you learn and accept your hair, care for it's unique needs and don't constantly force it to do what it doesn't want to do, your set!

        Now for those who are always doing twists out, braid outs, and/or restyling every other day (I used to do them all the time as well) that can truly be a lot of maintanence! And it's super cute so it's addictive. BUT I am so glad I found what works for me that is low maintanence throughtout the week to last me until wash & DC day every 2 weeks. 🙂

        Side note, I am totally 7 of the 10 things on that list. LOL.

      • kymalee

        I have never done any of those things. I have always done my own hair and it was long and healthy but scalp wasn't. It still not after 6 month post relaxer :). Anyway I love my transitioning hair. I love seeing my curls form but for me it is a lot of work. I knew a lot about hair before but I have learned a ton in the past 6month that I didn't know. I LOVE LOVE my natural hair but for me IT'S A TON OF WORK!!

      • Open Minded

        You're an idiot, and unless you've actually been natural you can't speak on how to maintain natural hair. You roll your hair every night, I comb mine out, condition, and twist it every night. Hmmmm, which takes more work?

  • i got 99 problems, but new growth ain't one. hit me! http://naturalhairproblems.tumblr.com

  • reddfoxx77

    Oh Lord. Ppl need to realize when they are being baited into responding to nonsense. 33 comments on this, & about 30 of them are all in response to 1 dumb ass. Who give a f@$# what he/she say they don’t like?
    This was a good article, good read & interesting commentary from those who put the focus on their hair.

    • SoTrue

      PREACH!! This happens on most MN articles….

  • First, I don't understand why this article seems to think locs, braids, and twists are different from natural hair. Also, any man who can't see past a woman's hair isn't a man at all he is a child. The question I hate the most is "how'd you get your hair like that?" to which I always respond "I decided God did it right when He made it this way"
    And for the IDIOTS who think that natural hair is a rats nest… not only did I change my FB photo , I'm leaving this comment so you can see an example of clean, beautiful, long and healthy locs and maybe by divine intervention you might get a CLUE!
    By the way… Madame Noir the term "dredlocks" is highly offense, do some research.

    • RhythmWrites

      Miss Victoria,
      You seem a little snarky. And it seems like you're trying to prove something that doesn't need proof.The "idiot:" has a preference. You're that arrogant that you think one "clean, beautiful, long and healthy locs" picture is going to change his whole world?Like…no. I'm sure a clean rat's nest is just as repulsive as a dirty rat's nest to him. Why are you trying to show him the bright side of "natural sistas"?

  • Aimee

    Oh my goodness…I loved this article and now I understand why some people treat me differently.

  • reese

    Who is forcing anyone to like our hair. Stop assuming that bw are going to confirm to what you like. There are a variety of bm who like different things some can't stand weaves. So how bout I wear my hair how the f*ck I want to and you do the same. Nobody is saying you have to like it. Your ignorance and confirmation into all European standards is what has forced alot of bw to run away.

  • IllyPhilly

    I never look at someone and judge them by looks. I'm never right! Probably the only person in the world who goes in totally open minded with no opinion based off looks.

  • truthspeaks

    Anon, natural doesn’t equal short hair. I am natural, super fly and fit with waist length hair. That is easily longer than the majority of permed heads and even the weaves. It does shrink and look shorter when curly. Your assumptions are just ignorant. My relaxed hair was never this long and I am not the only natural I know with really long hair.

    • Brodie

      I'm almost to WL. Just a few more inches.

    • Sue

      That's true! My hair actually grew a lot faster in it's natural state than it's "relaxed" state.

    • Guest

      Agree with all the others. My hair is the longest it's ever been since I went natural over 10 years ago. Not quite waist length, but definitely down the center of my back when straightened. I had it flat-ironed one time and a man stopped me in the grocery store and was like – " That's your real hair isn't it?" I had to laugh. Yep, my real hair.

    • MST

      If you stop putting caustic chemicals and burning irons on your hair, it will reward you by growing long, strong, thick and healthy!

  • jIMA


  • Yesenia Runiez

    Silly people I never heard any of those it seems like it black media sites are trying to keep women from going or staying natural they probably have deals with relaxers companies.I love natural hair whether its kinky,curly,wavy,straight or in the middle. Love yourself ladies stop worrying about what everyone else thinks.

    • numah

      amen and amen

  • MonogramLove

    No one asked you to like natural hair you don't have to look at me.Its that simple!

  • deidre

    DAMN anon, chill out aint no one caring if you like long hair or not, and aint no one care if these 'brothers' be running away

    • reese

      girl, we are going to hear this alot. Whenever they don't like anything they say they are going to be like that is why the brothers are leaving. And I am like do you need help packing.

      • Brodie

        LOL. "need help packing".

      • Iamnotmyhair

        LMBO! "Do you need help packing." LMBO!

  • Hey Daywalker, this it your sis ROSE by any other name.. I respect your opinion but aint a damn thing wrong with natural hair, its gorgeous, thick and pretty, beats the h-ll out that weave crap.. dont be so damn cruel to us natural women! In fact i love me a brother in dreads, my man has dreads and they are gorgeous,, i would never knock natural hair!

  • Just saying

    >successful mechanical engineer
    >spending spare time trolling sites for middle income black women

    Pick one.

  • OMSS

    LOL! For a man who is so ignorant about natural hair and allows himself to get upset about how someone chooses to wear their hair tells me (and probably other women who will see your comment) you are small-minded and not worth the time. Take yourself and your ONLINE mechanical engineering degree somewhere else. Pathetic 😀

    • Aoki

      DEAD@Online degree… lmao

      Barbizon anyone?

    • kymalee


    • Lol 

  • Brodie

    Add another assumption.

    -"That we'll go back to relaxers if a man says he doesn't like it."

  • crystal spartan

    Umm daywalker you are clearly an idiot, and this electrical engineer is natural and superclean. And for a fact I know I am gorgeous, and clearly you are an insecure little man.

    • amber

      Yes Yes this is it. Its a reminder of himself.

  • Lilly

    While in college I rocked a short ‘fro because I would rather have books and food vs a press and curl. I never had a problem getting men regardless of age and race. When I went to grad school and started rocking my dreadlocks I still pulled them. 10 years later my hair is down my back and I’m mistaken for a 24 yr old when I have it up and can’t keep men from touching it to save my life. I’ve saved thousands and love the ease. Men love it that I can work out regularly and hop in and out of a pool without a thought. I spend 3 hrs 2x a week keeping it tight.

    • chrissy

      @lilly right on…..i love the fact that i can jump in the pool and don't have to worry about my hair….i love being natural…not a fad for me……

    • Iamnotmyhair

      Lily, the ease of working out is insurmountable! I am able to do my morning workouts and keep on going. I can go to the gym and then go out and don't have to be stuck doing my hair for two hours in the mirror. Courtesy of my natural hair, my body is bangin…and so I've been told by many a fellow, the rest of me is nice too! Man, and I can't agree with you more on the pool thing. My triathlon training would not be where it is if I had to worry about my relaxer and chlorine in the water.

  • Some say we're too cheap to get perms… Daywalker, straight men aren't so concerned with hair. http://thenappylife.blogspot.com/

    • I don't know that using sexuality to minimize him is exactly the way to go with this one. It doesn't put him down as much as it "otherizes" and attacks the masculinity of gay men….

    • amber

      @The Nappy LIfe..

      Oh my. haha!

    • IAmNotMyHair

      I agree with @TheNappyLife, the only folks that I have seen that are concerned about how my hair looks or what I'm wearing for the day were my gay cousins and my gay male friends.

  • GorgeousSmile

    Drink bleach….kill ya self!!

  • I have definitely been presumed to be all of the above. But my favorite myth is the "just a fad" thing. When I cut my hair off in 1989 I have a child hood friend who told I was just going through a phase. I just giggled and say "ok, whatever". He had no idea how free I felt. He had no idea how powerful I was to not have to rely on anything to be beautiful but my own natural beauty. He has no idea that over 20 years later (and $1,000s of unspent money later) I am still rocking my natural and even more beautiful than I was during those college days. I have my hairline, I still have ALL of my hair.

    As I've gotten older (and even lost it to chemo in 1994-5) my hair texture has changed and so I just learned to adjust. I am having more fun than ever. Real men don't care about hair texture. For the few that do…they can kick rocks. Ladies we have to embrace our decisions about our hair. Don't apologize for straightening it, locking it, weaving it, or whatever. Just be smart about it. At some point you will come to a realization. Your natural is the most beautiful.

    • Chyeah

      …Rock on, Warrior Sista…

    • @Sabrina Denise Whiteman Oops, I meant to push "Thumbs Up" and pushed "Thumbs Down" by accident! I totally agree, your natural hair is the most beautiful! Plus, all of the money saved… it's a "win-win" situation any way you look at it!

    • LEE



      • Brodie


        She said nothing of the kind. Natural doesn't mean kinky either. But there is an aesthetic being promoted in her comment and that ain't right.

    • how does your hair texture change? I think that happened to my hair after I relaxed it and now I'm trying to grow it back out. It's like goulash up in there lol 3 dif textures… is that normal?

      • kymalee

        YES, check out some of the natural hair blogs. They say you can have 3 different hair textures. good luck

    • Iamnotmyhair

      Yes! Well said my sister! I had an ex who hated my natural hair, his Mother and sister did too…Funny thing is, his mother had an S-Curl, and his sister wanted to know my secret of how I get my hair to curl (my response – conditioner and water). My reply dude, hit the road, tell your Mom to leave the jheri curl alone, and sorry, but your sis you will never have curls like mine…it's in my genetics…not anything that I can get out of a bottle.

  • Cornam

    wow…but i love natural women
    Apple Giving away iPad 2's in Honor of Steve Jobs Death (founder of Apple) .. http://goo.gl/FfRx4 i just went ahead & got 2..lmao

  • ryo2

    Apple Giving away iPad 2's in Honor of Steve Jobs Death (founder of Apple) .. http://goo.gl/FfRx4 i just went ahead & got 2..lmao

  • nursedred

    @daywalker you might not like women who wear their hair natural but trust me you’re not missed. 10 years ago when my husband started my dreds for me he warned me about ‘groupies’ and said I was going to get hit on a lot more. I didn’t believe him because up to that point mostly I knew men who thought like daywalker. Then about a month later I was the most popular girl in the world getting hit on an average of 5 times a day every time I left the house. Even though I wore my wedding ring and later was obviously pregnant. 10 years and 2 kids later living in a different state same thing

    • Solaris

      Don't feed the troll people. Don't you understand the only way to make him disappear is to ignore him, every-single-time?

      • IllyPhilly

        Solaris so true, some people gotta take the bait though.

    • MsT

      @nursedred, lol, I know just what you mean! I'm 44, 4 1/2 month's pregnant, and the other day I left my natually curly hair out instead of up before leaving the house. I literally got hit on every 3rd block. Black men, white men, Latino men–even the halal cart due was trying to holla. When I had locks, I was hit also on constantly. I gave up the "creamy crack" over 15 years ago and haven't looked back since. Everything about a sister with natural hair screams "Confidence" and real men love it 🙂

      • Native Gear

        LOL @ halal cart dude. I hear ya

  • Genie

    I have lived through some of these assumptions.

    DAYWALKER, you just used YOUR time commenting on an article that addresses a topic you have no major interest in. WOW!!! I bet you went through ALL 10 points. That says a lot about you. Thank goodness your degree is in MECHANICAL ENGINEERING.

  • Stormy

    Daywalker, I respect your opinion and dating is about preference. That is your preference but there are a lot of doctors, lawyers, teachers, mechanics, etc..men period that appreciate a woman for who she is and not what her hair looks like …the way God gave it to her.

  • Sugarbearz

    Well DAYWALKER the MECHANICAL ENGINEER, if you have NEVER stepped to any "NATURAL SISTA" then you won't be missed.

    These assumptions are so true.

  • ummm you're an idiot daywalker. you're welcome.


    AKING=AKIN ****(TYPO)****