Where Do All The Good Men Hang?

October 8th, 2011 - By Erica Renee

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The idea of finding love in the club these days isn’t as far-fetched as it once was. While a sad thought, it may have something to do with the mere fact that most women consider there to be a shortage of good men to compliment each good woman. While numbers don’t lie and statistics show a drastic difference in the black male to female ratio (that’s another story), there are still a few good men, ready and available for a relationship.

Some people suggest that a good man is right under our nose. While I beg to differ, due to the fact that I have yet to smell my Mr. Right, I do believe that there are a few good men scattered throughout the places we frequent or even places that we least expect. So, where do all the good men hang? Check out our list of places….

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  • AlmondJoy

    No it sounds like she Lives In Las Colinas next to Valley Ranch where the cowboys practice. I LOVE that area! In the Dal/Ft. Worth area there are soooo many places to meet single professional or artsy young brothas. I'm no Amber Rose but I see and meet guys all the time around these parts. Whole Foods…live music venues…the gym…college campuses…any book store…comedy shows…poetry sets…concerts…bars. I've met and dated about 6 guys since August

    • AlmondJoy

      in addendum…I really don't "look for guys" it kind of just happens. When I decided to just do me and not put soooo much energy into being with someone…and also when I got it out of my mind that I wanted a guy to take care of me and sweep me off of my feet and started to realize that I CAN do it myself BUT I want a partner to exchange genuine love….I kid you not…the started gravitating towards me….peace!

  • britneykiss

    ==(( Mixеdmαtching.СòM)—-==My friends told me about — Mixеdmαtching. C’ 0- M —–told It’s the best place to meet black white singles to- me-et bla-ck, whit-e, gorgeous, bea-utiful for rom-ance and- enduring relation-ship-s ! – it's the best place for s'eeking int'erracial lo-ve. which gives you a chance to make your life better and open opportunities for you to me-et the at'tractive s'ingles and treat you like a king or Queen. Maybe you wanna check it out or tell your frie-nds.

  • Cookie

    THANK YOU!!!! This list is crap.. what kind of women are looking for men like this?? It's so desparate..And please don't go looking at church. I can't even believe this was put o the list. I wonder if Men's blogs and magazines have this kind of crap (probably not)!!..We are making it so easy for them.. just chill and when they come, they come..

  • robertbraggs

    You must be looking in the wrong market dear.

  • 1king

    Where do all the good women hang? All I see are half dressed low self esteem having I got a degree so I’m better than any man so when I come home instead of comfort I am going to compete with him for head of the house hold. Lolol. For real tho a lot of the females really need to look at themselves and see that they are not perfect. Really stop and look at what you have done to aid or create some of the things that go on in your relationships. Maybe it’s the type of men you choose or financial decisions you make. It all can’t be the mans fault all the time.

    • http://twitter.com/DarkCarmel @DarkCarmel

      @1King Good point.

    • Big Mike

      The point that a lot of these women are missing is that the "role" they want played, men are are not down to do that. If you are an 'alpha' type female, you are not going to get an 'alpha 'male. It just goes against human nature. What you will get is a man that doesn't mind being submissive – the EXACT same guy these same women complain about.

      I wish there was an easy answer for these women, but there isnt one. the Women's Lib Movement was great, but the end result is that it has put certain women in a box that they can't get out of.

    • http://twitter.com/DarkCarmel @DarkCarmel

      @1King Good point!.

  • kyss

    Darlings, who told you that you weren’t good enough for the best? Who said you should accept mediocrity and be happy with it? Was it you?

    Ladies, lets stop settling for the things we know we don’t deserve. There are too many of us who are scared to speak up and demand that we get treated better because we are battling with our own insecurities and shortcomings. It’s so easy to accept something rather than to try and change it – but you can’t fall victim to this easy way out. Stop being afraid to be alone; stop assuming that you wont’ find anyone else; stop allowing your so-called physical flaws or current circumstances to hold you back from receiving what you deserve. The reason why so many women settle is because they feel as if they don’t have any other options. Once you limit yourself to your immediate surroundings, you’ve automatically be dissatisfied.

  • kyss

    I know you can not be serious about number 12.. It seems to me you need a lot more grooming in you attempts to find a good black women. And it appears that you have not one clue about being equally yolked..not yoked..we not doing eggs altho some women land as chickens but.. lets be real.. are you half of the things you are looking for in a woman? I'm very selfless and your needs are no greater than mine. boo boo!! You contradicted your self here!

    • InnocentTruth

      Don't use my comment to explain why you can't keep a man.

  • Bklyn_9

    your list is stupid, very very stupid

    • Brodie

      Navy?

  • ohio_lovejones

    The probem @ MsDdre is your frame of mind. No man of substance wants to deal with a sista that thinks like that. But im sure you have no idea the impact that your frame of mind carries. If i had a negative persona about sistas (I dont),why would I assume they should accept that and deal with me. By the way,lets not act like "good women" are just so plentiful. the dating/relationship world isnt an exact science.

    • MsDdre

      Oh get off your soapbox.

      I don't have a problem, I'm simply answering the question.

      If there's this plethora of 'good black men' then where are they, huh?

      Why so many articles on this if there's sooooooo many good black men around? Answer that before you try to read me….

      and p.s. : nobody said anything about the women being the epitome of 'goodness'.

      That's just you projecting.

      • bhillboy37

        Women are writing the articles because they are having trouble finding them. Doesn't mean good men aren't out there just that the woman writing the article has a problem finding them. Could be the company she keeps or the types of places she hangs out in. A lot of women don't socialize much to begin with. They stay at home on Friday and Saturday nights while socially aggressive women are out actively looking for good companionship.

  • xquisite.dee.lyte

    YA KNOW WHAT!!!

    I'm boycotting this site and bossip!! Lo0o0oL!
    Seriously, I'm tired of the back and forth bickering that goes on between AA men and women on these comment boards.
    It makes me upset to read these comments.

    As a 24 years young black woman, I wonder when this bitter spirit of self hate, that continues to clench and stifle our community by neck, will end.

    Maybe it was the way I was raised and where, but I've never really encountered such deprecating attitudes among AA men and women in real life.

    But it seems to be in the last 10 years or so, there has been this all out agenda to destroy ourselves from within. What happened to US?

    How come we can't find the good in US anymore? How come? Why is there such a lack of BLACK LOVE??
    And I don't mean that just from a relationship standpoint.

    It is so sad that we don't trust each other.
    Why do we only see ugly, stupid, ruination, leechers, takers, and empty souls when WE look at each other.

    From the comments I've read this is what I've surmised:

    Black love is so rare. It is so precious and beautiful, yet so dame rare. It seems like it almost extinct. Like it will be an annotation in a history book.

    I encourage everyone to see the GOOD IN OUR COMMUNITY!! If you want change. Be the change. Be the driving force to break this destructive groupthink!!

    It starts with me.

    • http://twitter.com/DarkCarmel @DarkCarmel

      @Xquisite Dee Lyte Preach it!

  • guest

    Yeah, the biggest hypocrites are in church…..with their jumpoffs.

  • http://twitter.com/DarkCarmel @DarkCarmel

    @Michelle I agree with every point you made especially the part on the problems of the AA communty (the point I was trying to make in a previous post) A woman should always focus on enhancing herself whether it be accomplishing personal, professional or spiritual goalsl. Everything else (a relationship) will fall into place when God is ready for you to have a "good man" come into your life.

  • Bianca

    You are crazy. A man is suppose to put his wife first, dumbass. And you sound like a sexist when you say a woman needs to know her place in the world. This is 2011 not 1912. Most women today are doing better than men. And I'm not talking only about black women. This has nothing to do with race now. Women are evolving to be superior to men because some men can't seem to hold their ground as a man.

    • InnocentTruth

      Bianca, what you have to say is pointless because we both know you are fat and ugly. Furthermore, the Bible says a HUSBAND comes first, even over the children! Good day, fatty.

  • Bianca

    This is pathetic. You can't always meet good men in these places. I have meet the worst men in churches.

  • bhillboy37

    Now this sounds like one together sister. Funny how she isn't getting patted on the back by any of the other sisters on the board. They aren't even engaging (commenting) on this post. Goes to show, for many women, they actually enjoy being bitter and unhappy.

    • Brodie

      Actually, because she is a "sister" her comment will be respected and taken as a different and appreciated perspective. A man offering the same perspective-being civil and respectful to black women as well as focusing on community improvement would be called a "simp" or "mangina" by his brethren, even accused to coddling ghetto children. Here, unless she was being ridiculous, she doesn't have to worry about her thoughts being shouted down or being called names. Maybe you want to see her and another black woman engaged in a disgusting back and forth for your amusement but it's not going to happen kiddo. How about you figure out what you can do to help other black men get to the next level instead of trying to instigate an unnecessary conflict between black women.

      • Guest

        You noticed that too, huh?

        Black males are the main ones that cause strife between black women. They do their own version of divide and conquer in the failed black community

        • Brodie

          Unreal right? I would say divide and conquer though. Trying make this sister a martyr when she is not trying to be, maybe. I don't fall for it and I hope she keeps posting her experience.

        • http://twitter.com/DarkCarmel @DarkCarmel

          @Guest I agree with you.

        • bhillboy37

          Right…black men cause other black women to hate on other black women when they walk into a room. Black men cause black women to critique other women's hairstyle and clothes. I'm sooooo sure black men are the reason a lot of women say they don't even like hanging around other women because there's always some drama. You got to be kidding me. You are delusional.

      • http://twitter.com/DarkCarmel @DarkCarmel

        @Brodie very good point you made and you summed it up perfectly.

      • bhillboy37

        I gotta call you dumb again. Damn…Brodie you can't nothing right. I said I wonder why nobody else was patting her on the back not arguing with her. She was pleasant and constructive and nobody gave her a thumbs up or commented on her post in 2 days while you all went back and forth with innocenttruth. I never once said women should disagree with her or shout her down. Did you not notice that I said nobody was patting her on the back.

        It's funny that you all missed a chance to pat her on the back so you could talk sh!t to me. Not one woman said "Good post"or "Thanks" or " I agree." You just want to argue with men not uplift the sensible sisters around you.

        Plus I didn't see any man on here calling another man a mangina or simp or dogging anybody out for being a positive in the community. Please point out where on the board this is. I'm calling the bluff.

        • Brodie

          I don't care what you call me, I'm don't have a vested interest in your approval. One excellent reason is because I don;t know you.

          What I find odd is that you're asking me for specific instances of black men disrespecting each other on this site, you and I both know there aren't any. But just like you bring your personal observations and information from outside of MN, the census data for example and vague percentages (85% LOL), I'll bring mine.

          You're doing it again, trying to make Michelle a martyr, or better yet a decoy so we'll keep the focus on her and not you. You have an agenda-nothing wrong with that-but pulling women who have not addressed you formally to instigate drama is silly. . "Pat on the back" ? This isn't sports, its a forum for discussion, something I'm sure she is aware of, and I don't have to "uplift" anyone especially not women who I know are capable of holding their own. I don't dumb down black women and this is no missed opportunities, except the yours to make a mess.

          • bhillboy37

            1.Since you and I know there aren't any examples of black men disrespecting each other , why did you say there were? I thought we were talking about comments on the site.
            2.You must have some interest in my approval. You keep replying to my posts. FAIL.
            3.The stats aren't vague. 85% means in a random group of 100 people on average 85 fit the criteria. That's 4th grade math, for real.
            4. As far as martyrs and decoys. I wasn't trying to make her either but it sure did work so I might have to remember that the next time.
            5. The fact that you don't feel the need to uplift black women but have taken the time to try to tear down the black man (me in particular) says a lot about your attitude.

            YOU LOSE-Haha!!!!

            • Brodie

              1. Fine
              2. Oh come off it. This was the best you do?
              3. I laugh at the 85% because it is random and nothing more. Trying to create the illusion that your vague percentage is the source of our difference in your intention with your post under Michelle is another example of railroading the subject. Cut that out dude.
              4. No it didn't because the focus is still on you, not on her even though you're still trying it. Another dead end statement like #2.
              5. Prove this. You're still trying to make this about more than you.

              • Brodie

                2. There is no reason for that conclusion. I address you because you are the person I'm haing the exchange with. That doesn't mean I require your approval.
                3. Excuse me then 80% based on a futile attempt to drawn a connection between this site, that caters to black women, and your limited exposure to humanity. You went to college right? You should already know that method is faulty.
                4. Not the focus is on you rand what you said and not what you wanted; a black on black cat fight.
                5. You haven't proven anything. Draw the connection between what I said or under this article period that "tear down the black man".
                "The Black Man" LOL. You think you, one in millions, can truly represent the diversity in black men? No, this is about you, not the black male demographic. I would never associate you with the black men I know personally. They don't know you and really would appreciate you not putting words in their mouths or riding their coat tails. You stand alone and that is how I address you.

                So you tried to turn Michelle into a decoy AND tried to underrepresent black men as if they exist in a single monolith. And don't make too much of the percentage mix up. My post that follows this one shows just how easily it can be done, even with you and your concept of time.

                • Brodie

                  Typo-4. "Not that the focus ever left you and what you said…"

                  And while I'm at it my attitude shouldn't be a concern to you. Again we don't know each other and our paths crossing anything soon will likely never happen. Plus you're a married man-even more of a reason for me to not care if you like what I say or.not.

                  • bhillboy37

                    Like a retarded kid double dribbling. I'ma have to let some sh!t slide with you. I could do the back and forth but you are obviously a mental lightweight when it comes to this sh!t.

                    • Brodie

                      Notice how in the entire exchange you threw insults repeatedly. You were trying to make this personal so that I would react with emotion. But because I'm not invested in your personal opinion of me, its really easy to keep things above the belt on my end, you on the other hand came with one attempt after another to get me to where you are, emotionally invested in how you are perceived by the a stranger on the internet.

                      Take these lines for example
                      -"……..says a lot about your attitude".
                      -"I gotta call you dumb again."
                      -"Damn…Brodie you can't nothing right."
                      -"Like a retarded kid double dribbling"

                      You had to frame me in a way that made you feel better about losing your position. Most people would agree that these are ad hominems. Why you held on for so long I don't know but in your final attempt to save your image, again for someone you don't know, you created the illusion that you grew tired when the truth is no one is buying it.

                    • bhillboy37

                      I never lost one position and I called you dumb because, well… I think you're dumb. That's not a reflection on how I feel about black women but how I feel about you as a poster. But nevermind that. We're still arguing on someone elses comment. That in and of itself show's you're more interested in arguing than talking constructively about the topic. At least I patted this poster on the back. You didn't even do that much. All you talked about was my supposed attempts to start a cat fight. If you don't agree with her post you don't have to respond therefore–No fight. I was calling on the sistas with sense to pat her on the back, If they felt like it. But I guess going back and forth, conceding that your facts were faulty and consistently replying to someone who called you dumb and compared you to a retarded kid, is worth it.

                      It's not like you could be doing something better with your time, like I don't know…let me see…TALKING TO A MAN…IN PERSON. Well hey at least you made your point, I guess.

                    • Brodie

                      Yeah you did. The moment you couldn't prove I was "tearing down the black man" you lost it because that was the angle you tried to use after instigating drama didn't work.

                      This:
                      "Now this sounds like one together sister. Funny how she isn't getting patted on the back by any of the other sisters on the board. They aren't even engaging (commenting) on this post. Goes to show, for many women, they actually enjoy being bitter and unhappy."

                      is inconsistent with this:

                      "I was calling on the sistas with sense to pat her on the back, If they felt like it."

                      Now you're on the deduction tip (you post down there too) to solicit a reaction, again. The back peddling, the inconsistency, the ad homs, and now you're just going to the last word. I've proven my point (s) and I'm off to another article that looks pretty good to me. I'll never know how you took this and hopefully you won't be so ego-driven that you feel the need to address me on other discussions. Bye kiddo.

                    • bhillboy37

                      Oh, you're back and you are reading this…DUMB, DUMB, DUMB- I said "Tearing down the black man (me in particular) —–I AM A BLACK MAN, I FEEL AS THOUGH YOU WERE ATTEMPTING TO TEAR ME DOWN THEREFORE…….. You were tearing down the black man ( me in particular).

                    • bhillboy37

                      I reread the whole post and it's funny how out of 3 sisters posting in the comment section only one of you bothered to even talk about the merits of the post. Not only did the running argument detract from the fact that I think the post is awesome but it illustrated how a focused sister is connected and aware of her own world and how to navigate that world while a bitter sister just sits around and starts arguments and blaming others for her status in life.She just likes to shift the blame from herself to others. Sorry you have to be that person Brodie but have not fear there is always an animal shelter with many orphaned cats for you befriend.

        • Brodie

          Oh wait, you said I went back and forth with IT. Where? And you better get it right too LOL. One more thing, look at the times I made my posts, Michelle's follows mine. My oldest post is 16 hours old, hers is 10. So pray tell how did the ladies on this site pass up a 48 hour opportunity when her post was only 6 hours old when you read it?

  • Jenn

    @InnocentTruth: I agree with your criteria for a good black women, as long as the man is also able to meet some of those same criteria. Regarding items 1 (no kids) and 9 (low amount of sexual partners) some men expect this from women, but have a double standard and don't think it should apply to men.

    This is coming from a Good Black Woman who's been happily married to a Good Black Man for 12 years.

  • guest

    the dormtainment dudes!!!! first page!

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