7 Manly Things We Wish Men Still Did

October 6, 2011  |  
1 of 7

by Selam Aster

Why is it that everything of the past seems so good, so classic, soo…the way things should be. Decades ago, women were fighting for equal rights but, today, we’re fighting for a return to chivalry. No matter how you cut it, many women want to be treated like ladies and many of us imagine that the world of the 1960s was not only a world mired in charged politics but represented a time when American society was filled with an abundance of manly men. Ok, so maybe our memory is in part clouded by the period drama “Mad Men.”

In any case, sometime between my high school years and full-fledged adulthood, it seems that it’s become okay for men to not take the lead. I think I can speak for many women when I say we’re not too happy about this trend. Here’s a few things that we wish most men still did:


Move Out Of Their Mothers’ Houses 

Isn’t it just so Hot when you find out your date has a place of his own? A man maintaining his own bills and residence is ultra masculine and indicates a certain discipline and sense of responsibility. Now, he doesn’t have to have the ultimate bachelor’s pad but just a place where he’s not worried about scheduling living room time with his roommates (read: parents) or making arrangements for a sleepover.

P.S. – With the trying times, we can understand moving back home for survival reasons but if the fact of the matter is that if a 30-year-old man man has never left his parent’s place, well…need we say more?

Insist On Paying The Bill 

It’s nice to offer to help split the bill on your first date with a potential suitor – it shows consideration on your part after all. But we certainly don’t expect him to accept it. What we expect is for him to wholeheartedly, unabashedly insist on paying. Yes, indeed. That shows that he really wants to make a good impression on you.

But what if there is an awkward hesitation from him which ends up with the words “well, you can take care of the tip.” BUZZKILL. There’s nothing more disappointing then feeling that your date is uncertain about covering the costs of a date that he basically set up. This is his time to shine – to show he’s THE MAN. If he doesn’t insist at this point, you can forget about him doing it later.

Dialing Our Number

Texting has replaced calling as a means of communication BUT it’s still not great in the dating world – well, at least in the early stages of dating. If a guy is pursuing us, we want him to really make the effort, which means, making that first shy call to ask for a date.


Hold The Door Open For A Stranger 

It’s just a nice gesture. Period.

Keep Us Warm

Barack – that’s one old-school man right there and he sure is all about keeping his wifey happy.

Women, on average, get cold much more easily than men. And sometimes we just need that extra layer of comfort. So fella, risk a bit of discomfort to show us you care and give up your coat or jacket when you see us shivering.


Help Us With Our Bags

Whether it’s helping us hoist our carry-on into the overhead compartment on an airplane or just helping us carry a heavy load to our cars, a man’s strength is much appreciated. As much as we want to see each other as equals, men are certainly stronger than women, which makes them indispensable.


Having A Signature Aftershave 

A signature scent is so classic, so cool, so retro! If a man finds the right scent for his pH balance, some power is hormonally released that is absolutely irresistible.

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  • Leroy

    all men have wanted out of women since the beginning of time was to stop sending mixed messages. seriously, men were fine paying the bill until feminists started acting like that was sexist. but now it’s “we want you to offer to pay, but you shouldn’t feel obligated, but YOU asked ME out so ya know it’s kinda only fair that you pay, but just cuz you pay doesn’t make you anything special, but if you don’t pay there won’t be a second date cuz men are supposed to pay.” essentially what you’re saying is “i don’t actually like you. i just wanted a free meal.” ok…

    and really, not every 20-something is going to have there own place. this is just unrealistic these days. unless a guy lives out in the middle of nowhere where apartments cost 5 dollars a month, or their daddy is rich and pays for his apartment, then he’s not going to have his own place. but women don’t care about money right?

  • I see it as a way to get an STD.

  • Amen, brother!

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  • Adt92

    Regarding dinner dates….At most I will offer to pick up the tip. I went through my ‘I will pay my own way on a date,’ phase, then I smartened up and realized I too have to pay taxes, buy gas, groceries, probably make breakfast for my dinner date 🙂 at some point. It works out in the end if he is a good guy, with the give and take of every relationship worth having. Also, the whoever does the inviting does the paying rule is one very basic etiquette rule. It seems silly, but I encourzge all women to pick up a copy of any versions of Emily Posts Etiquette books. I didn’t grow up with anyone teaching me anything other than ghetto manners, which work fine….in the ghetto, but not many other places. I love where I come from, but I’m glad to know how other get along as well. Funny thing, I stumbled upon the etiquette book at a church book sale, didnt even know how to pronounce etiquette…thought it was a food. 

  • Adt92

    Are you serious? Could you set the bar any lower. I don’t know what population of men y’all are dating, but these listed are so basic, sooo basic. I feel like I’d have a harder time finding someone who did’nt meet the criterion. I don’t know how to explain that, maybe I’m just lucky. But, I havent dated anyone like the dudes categorized here since my college days. 

  • Erikaananda

    Why is this manly? I am at a loss as to why we should continue to encourage men to pay for dates. To me, this reflects the history of economic dominance by men. We’re allowed to own property, get an education, and kick a** at work. Can we please leave this throw-back in the past?

    • Adt92

      Erikaananda, Firstly, you are right, no doubt about that.  But I’m not sure expecting men to pay for dinner is a  throwback, as much as a nice carryover.  Really, don’t women carry enough burdens? We are underpaid dollar for dollar, (so if you cough up 1/2 for dinner you are actually paying much more percentage wise), we experience more time out of work due to child rearing which impacts our earning potential over the lifespan. We still have to fight for the availability of contraception…the list goes on. 
      Not paying for dinner doesn’t set up back nearly as much as paying even for 1/2 does. 

  • Dweezil

    You wanted to be a writer.

  • Ichi_the_Killer

    I grew up in the South, and if my mother knew that I had hedged in any way on paying a bill while out on a date with a nice lady, she would climb out of her coffin, make me go get a switch, then throw the switch away and beat the bejesus out of me.  You ALWAYS pay- no hesitation- always pay.

  • Paolo

    I do all of these things, although I’m over 40.  However in Manhattan, the number of entitled young women who take these gestures (eg door holding)  for granted is staggering.  In the past day, I have counted. I held the door for 11 women I don’t know. @ looked at me. One, over 40, said “Thank You”.  When will you write an article about the loss of the Feminine Politique?     

  • Hibernia86

    So women want to have jobs and careers like men but they don’t want to have to be chivalrous like men? Stop being selfish and treat a relationship as love between equals, not someone to try and get something from.

  • Zoocko

    I do do these things.  Difference is, I’m a modern-day man who believes in gender equality.

    So I do it for everyone, men and women alike.  Not so much the date-related stuff, but the “moving out of mother’s house, holding door for strangers, offering a coat in the cold, lifting bags for people” stuff.

    Chivalry isn’t dead, it just shouldn’t be restricted to a single gender.

  • Big D

    Men need to be men and need to worry less about how their every action and intention is interpreted. The confident man is willing to live according to his own code of ethics, a just code which knows itself well enough to know it does no harm, despite the petty disapproval of myopic strangers and paradoxical mandates of postmodern political correctness. 

  • anonguest

    That sounds like a cop-out. Stop blaming shortcomings on other people, other races, etc. It comes down to an issue of personal responsibility and selflessness. I married my wife and had children with her only after I was financially able to support both. Of course, thinking with my cranium vs. my penis probably helped with that.

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  • nope

    This list manages to be offensive to both men and women! Good show!

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  • p M

    She wants to have her cake and eat it too. LOL STUPID WOMAN. 🙂

  • Will S.

    You can’t have your cake, and eat it, too.

    The law of unintended consequences; look it up.

    Unless you want to go back to how things were, you can’t expect men to be as they always were, too.


  • male22

    women have statistically more fat why are they getting colder faster? 

  • Go

    So…you want the right to pursue all the traditional manly things you want, but still be treated in a traditionally feminine way? Give me a break. You can’t demand that men treat you like an equal and then in the same breath demand that he treat you with chivalry. The whole point of these chivalrous acts is that they were things men didn’t do for another man…they only did it for ladies. What do you want? Equality or special treatment? You cannot demand both. And you can’t blame men for letting go of chivalry after decades of screeching harpies telling them that it’s sexist, misogynist b.s. that needs to die off.

  • gusl

    these things died when feminism rose up

  • ghebert

    Maybe men would do these things if:

    1.Women didn’t feel entitled to any of these and…

    2.Actually did something in return to show their appreciation.

  • Odds

    Rather than getting into feminism, double standards, gender roles and whatnot (since those have already be covered), I’m just going to talk about effectiveness.  Frankly, I have more success with women when I’m non-chivalrous than when I’m old-fashioned.  Everything esle is the same – my looks, my confidence, my bank account, the car I drive, my personal life – so there’s probably not some complicating third factor I’m aware of.

    But when I pay the bill, more often than not the woman will flake on the second date; when I go dutch (or better yet, get her to pay), more often than not I’ll at least kiss her before the night’s over, and get a second date.  When I carry things for her just to be helpful, the favor is forgotten as soon as it’s done; when I tease her for being wimpy and demand cupcakes in return, I get cupcakes and most likely a date later.  When I call her, she screens it, then never returns it (which is damned rude, too); when I text her, I can stop thinking about hjer until she responds, at which point I’m more likely to get that date.  When I really listen to her, remember what she says, and respond with interest, I get friend-zoned; when I basically mock her, tell her I don’t want to hear about her personal life, and then talk about myself, I succeed again.

    Now, I’m not some Casanova with a massive list of conquests that I can fit into a neat statistical proof.  But I have eyes and ears.  I’ve seen my friends and brothers get shot down for trying to be chivalrous, and I’ve listened to women talk about their past boyfriends and flings, nearly all of whom refused to behave chivalrously – which ought to tell you about the sort of guys women choose to date.  Both options are available, but chicks only choose one.  These are not low-class women, either.  Most are educated, well-meaning, intelligent, attractive women who can support themselves just fine.

    If chivalry worked, I’d be all over it.  But it’s less effective on most women, and there aren’t enough exceptions for me to bother with the less-effective option.

    • manojar

      I would be 100% successful if i paid for sex too…

      • Odds

        See, that’s a decent strategy, now you’re getting the idea.  But by the time you get to the girls high-class enough to be pretty, they’re not only more expensive, but they insist on chivalrous treatment anyway.  All part of the show, I suppose.

    • voxleo

      You speak of quantity, not quality as far as women go in your post. 
      I think the problem is that the standards of good behavior that women measure up against have declined along with the chivalrous mannerisms from gentlemen as a whole. That being said, the man who acts like every other average guy will attract every other average lady.    And the man who acts like a gentleman will land a lady that is worth having as HIS lady, as opposed to a woman who is a good candidate for being a future guest on the Jerry Springer Show.TRUE gentleman also knows that it is not enough to just act like one for the sake of getting women.  A gentleman is a gentleman because that is what he is.  It will show in his respect and kindness to everyone, not just the chick he’s trying to bone.

  • Captcapitalism

    Oh, NOW you want men to be men?  I could have sworn you wanted equality and to be treated like men.  Sorry sister, the Chivalry Train left 50 years ago.  Deals off.  Deal with it and pay your own damn way.

  • Typical selfish woman.
    “Gimme gimme gimme!”
    “Be my servant, carry my bags, open my doors, pay for things for me, give me the shirt off your back”

  • I’ve been fortunate in respect to being around men who do
    exhibit these qualities, yet, the overall traits so expressed in this article by
    and large is something  which can be
    referred to as  common courtesy that can
    be applied to both sexes. However, what is truly at the crux of this article is
    why men can’t remain traditional while women continue to socially evolve and
    play by different rules. Yet, there is validity in this article but one that
    does not tell the entire story. One that abandons the realities in the way men
    experience life or the cards dealt to them.

    As for men living with their moms, I’ve seen instances
    where a grown son has assumed the financial responsibilities of his late father
    in order to support mom and allow her to maintain the house she has been
    accustomed to living in; true he’s living there as well, but what choice does
    this individual have? Should he go live on his own while mom gets thrown out of
    her house which without his help will be foreclosed?  Is it a reality to expect this young man to
    be able to afford to do both? In most cases, he can’t. In what way do we classify
    this man in particular? The young ladies I see living on their own are mostly
    single moms who got their as a result of shacking up with a man only to see
    that relationship go south and find themselves alone. Yet, there are women who
    do move out because of the need for independence

    So, there’s so much more to what this article unintentionally
    distorts, and right now the dynamics have not yet played themselves out. It is
    true that many men are forgoing many of these yearned for behaviors when
    dealing with the opposite sex but in fairness, I can’t blame them. With the
    advent of feminism as well as technology men have been made to feel irrelevant
    as we women have changed the rules by creating a world for ourselves exclusive
    of men. Let’s not even get in the all too prevalent male bashing which has been
    normalized institutionally in our society.

    Face it girls, the tacit contractual agreement between
    the sexes has been broken and we’re the ones who did it. You can’t expect men
    to maintain their part of the bargain while we try to play by different rules.
    Personally, I enjoyed the gender roles once assigned to the sexes as it played
    on each other’s strengths complementing the opposite, yet I say this from a
    heteronormative perspective. To the despair of many women, mine included, it is
    disappearing and the likelihood of it coming back doesn’t seem probable.

     As women, we have
    “completed” ourselves and now its men who are trying to make sense of
    it all and create their own world, one in which they’ll regain their importance
    and self respect irrespective of women, and they will. Once that happens, both
    sexes not gender will then abide by new rules to which I’m sure we women will
    not like, but hey, what’s good for one is good for the other. As for men, good
    luck to you all, it was great knowing what it once was like having you enrich
    our lives.

  • Whenever a guy opens a door for me (and it does happen fairly regularly-even though I am in my 40’s and not adorable), I always make a point of meeting his eyes and saying a sincere Thank you!  I can’t count the number of times that a man has seemed surprised that I did.  Also about after-shave.  One year I was walking through a department store at Christmas and walked past a salesman wearing a certain colonge.  He smelled so yummy that I practically threw my credit card at him to buy some for my husband.  It totally back-fired.  On my husband, it smelled like terpentine!

  • If their Mother’s raised them right in the first place, this would all come naturally.  I’t called MANNERS!

    • LanceSmith

      And what manners are expected of women? What do men get for all of their sacrifice to women?

  • LanceSmith

    Hahaha….typical “want your cake and eat it too” we have come to expect from our narcissistic culture.

    So tell me: what do we men get for paying your bills, holding your door, just being chivalrous, etc? Because if the only answer is your company, then you think pretty highly of yourself. So basically you want men to exist as your wallet. You want all of the benefits of living as equals without all of that pesky responsibility. 

    Do you still expect him to give up his life for yours as well (a la Titanic) and that your life is worth more then his?

    Perhaps it’s time for (some) women to man-up and take responsibility for their own lives.

  • kikojones

    As Dave Chappelle once said in one of his stand up specials, “Chivalry is dead. And women killed it.”

  • Joe

    No problem.. here are the things women need to do to make these things happen:

    Move Out Of Their Mothers’ Houses …
    Stop filing false domestic abuse charges when you file for divorce in order to force him from the home he saved for during his 20s and bought. That Guy in moms basement can’t move out because he’s still paying the mortgage on the house his ex took from him and lives in with his kids and her boyfriend.

    Insist On Paying The Bill …
    Stop treating men like walking wallets you can ride like a Ferris wheel by using the allure of possible sex as your ticket price. If objectifying women for their bodies is wrong why is objectifying men for their money ok?

    Dialing Our Number …
    Stop acting like a princes on a pedestal whom a man must earn the privelege of being around. If you want someone to love you, prove you need and want them too.

    Hold The Door Open For A. Stranger …
    Reject feminism and the social poisons it creates between the sexes.

    Keep Us Warm …
    Stop falsely accusing men of rape when its just regret over sleeping with someone you don’t want people to know about. Then maybe men wont be afraid to put their arms around you.

    Help Us With Our Bags …
    Lobby to have women included in the draft. Prove your willing to sacrifice for us too.

    Having A Signature Aftershave

    Stop gaining 50 lbs and dressing and cutting your hair like Ellen DeGeneres after you get married. Work as hard to keep him as you expect him to do for you.

  • Bmmg39

    There is a happy medium between a man treating a woman like crap and a man being her unpaid manservant. People should do nice things for EACH OTHER, regardless of gender. A woman can hold the door for or give up her seat to a man just as easily as the reverse.

  • Bmmg39

    That’s the problem, Nathan. That woman has either been conditioned to expect you to pay each and every time…or she just came up with it on her own and she’s using you.

  • Bmmg39

    I’m tired of this “have-it-both-ways” attitude that’s presented here: “Oh, don’t get me wrong, boys, we want to have equal rights when it comes to PAYchecks, but when the DINNER check comes you’d better be reaching for your wallets. Oh! And you have to give up your seats in the bus or train for us…and hold the door for us…and stand when we enter the room…and ALWAYS let us go first. Oh! Except that when equality benefits us, then we want THAT.”

    Make up your mind and pick one. If we’re going to have equality (and we should), then you need to realize that equality should benefit both parties, not just one.

    And don’t get me started on the stereotypes about men (notice you left the women alone) who live with their parents. It’s really none of your business.

  • gwallan

    Time you got over yourselves ladies. More and more men are learning that they can live better lives in the absence of close attachment to women. 

    The fish should have taken a bit more care where they parked their bicycles.

  • B Dude

    Some men do all of those things and women absolutely hate it. They won’t admit it, but most women these days only like a guy if he treats them like dirt.

    Ask ten guys and nine of them will tell you the same thing: all of the women they know prefer guys who mistreat them.Signed, lonely nice guy.

  • This gesture a female makes to pay the bill,is manipulative and a lie, why do I want to pursue this woman?

  • god

    things you are:
    shut up

  • Kaththee

    I agree about the TMI but I had to answer that one with my own antidotal evidence.  

  • Frank

    A man could do all that and more, but why should he? Kindness has become optional just as morality and ethics are optional only when convenient.

  • harrykuheim

    Thank Feminism and PC culture for all this Ladies.

  • Bigworm3044

    Really? Women want all the old fashion trend to continue in men, but they don’t want to continue any of the old fashion womanly roles…..funny how that works.

  • Rosie

    “We”?? Speak for yourself, hon.

  • Brian

    Meh… I hear this a lot, but I also witness that just as often women will choose the inconsiderate, self-involved d-bag.  ‘Nice guys finish last’ has been said for a long time and its for a reason. 

    Women who don’t typically get attention from the men around them do typically want a nice, chivalrous guy who makes them feel special, while women who are used to being fawned upon by men who don’t meet their standards might appreciate a guy who ignores them a little and makes himself seem special.

    The sad truth is that if you want a guy who does all of those things and you’re having trouble finding him, you probably need to sacrifice another trait (looks, intelligence, humor, etc.). 

    It’s also a conflict of character in some respects.  Women, I’ve been told endlessly, want a man with confidence.  But also one who makes her feel special.  If a man finds a woman so special, its only reasonable that he might doubt his worth of her and lack confidence, leading to shy text messages instead of phone calls.  If a man knows he’s worthy of a woman, he may not feel the need to impress her by paying for dates and holding doors. 

    When it’s done out of love or respect, it’s chivalry.  When it’s done because it’s expected, it’s being whipped. 

  • Red_fir_smoke

    The funny thing about wanting a man to lead, is that women want a man to lead (in the direction the woman wants to go !).
    Trying to set a direction in life and expecting her support you is naive, the three thing women value most are
     1, personal convenience
     2, endless feeding for a voracious ego
     3, someone else to be responsible for their actions without any consequence to them

  • Daddyof30yrs

    I can’t believe no one is looking for a MAN who will be a n active part of the family he creates with a woman. A dog will run and hide a MAN will step up and lead the family. Where is that today?

  • Jsafsiin

    I will do these things sometimes when I feel like it, but never out of some sense of obligation. Being born with a penis doesn’t mean that I am dog that has to grovel at women’s feet for a little attention.

  • Lowell

    YOU killed us.

  • Nathan George

    I went out with a woman four times, and guess who payed each and every date, ME?  And no, I didn’t offer, she just assumed I would.  Well it’s not cheap and I’ve had enough of it, there is not woman hot enough or cool enough for this sort of pampering.  The first time was OK but lets at least pretend to be fair okay?  The next time she calls I’ll ask if she wants to split the check, if she hesitates too much it is over.

  • Carry your own fukken bags! You’re not crippled! lol 🙂

  • Unfortunately, the quality of the women has drastically degraded.  So we go to fukit mode.

  • Tiny

    Really? How about we just try to find a few men who will treat you lite equals. You get somebody to hold the door for you I’ll see if that equal pay for equal work thing has any merit. everyone likes to be treated well, Personally I do everything on your list, On a grander scale what does that matter in a society where you are not yet fully equal? Try ending “honor” killings and other little woman related problems, flesh trade perhaps. In all you pick the men whose company you keep, you.

  • guest

    If women would appreciate it when men did these things, more men would do them.

  • David

    Article is mis-titled.  Should be “How to P-whip your man!”

  • Richard Andersen

    In today’s society of gender equality, I believe that in the interest of that equality and the fact that neither of know if you are gong to click with each other, it’s just a financial and a fact of equality that you both agree before the first date, that you are going to split the bill!!!  It’s not financially fair to expect the man to “impress” a women by spending money on her for someone he just met and knows nothing about!!!  Women would be much better off if they pay their half, then there’s no expectation or obligation of anything happening afterwards!!!  And since women are in complete control of the date anyway they would probably be better off trhying to get to know their date to determine what kind of man they are dating and and visa versa for the man!!  Then if you really click you can do for each other whatever you really want to do, like on the second date he can buy the dinner and then alternate future dates when the woman pays for the bill so the financial burden is “equal”!  Then it’s all good and fair!!!

  • Icu1969

    Now I definitely don’t do it for the accolades, but I do all seven of these and STILL no appreciation….  (not sure what that says about me…  LOL)

  • LadyL

    All valid til #7 which should instead be: Give up their seat on the bus for a stranger

  • KaliS

    Why do we still classify specific actions as manly or ladylike? Why can’t we can’t just do nice things? Or better yet – why can’t we all just do what we want? Why should we be EXPECTED to do certain things because of our gender?

  • Guest

    I wish we could still club em over the head and drag them back to our caves
    Most of this is just drivel,but Id like to say on 5 & 6
    Women need to wear more clothes and buy less stuff

  • Kelly

    Wow, my husband has always done these things.  It is not about being “manly”, it is about having good manners.  If you are a man OR a woman, you hold the door for a stranger, you carry something for someone else.  The other things, (signature scent, calling, etc)…..those are also just good grooming/being polite and/or grown up.  If someone has to text you to ask you out, you ought to make sure they have graduated high school

  • After spending decades trying to emasculate men in every concievable way possible, now you don’t like the results and pine for the days of when there were gentlemen who treated a woman like a lady. So, I suppose “be careful what you ask for, you just might get it” applies here.

    • OT

      No Melvin. Just that lady who wrote this immature piece of drivel might. I should expect all of those of any woman as well. Those are not “manly” things, those are just being polite and mature. For either gender.

  • Jlmiller

    Well I guess I’m not in any danger, still make the 1st call, pay the entire bill and tip, open the door, carry the bags, etc, etc, etc…. but then I’m old school… some things are embedded from early childhood training, thanks to a good loving mother and great teaching from a great man called my father.

  • Blueicecream

    Wow..This list just shows why relationship’s have become such a joke.Women want equal rights in every aspect of life except when it comes to dating.For all the women out there who dont get it.Men used to pay for womens cloths,food,rent, and basically everything in their life because there was a time when most women didnt work.Those days are over, almost all women work and they make the same amount of money as a man.So that means its time to start paying for your own stuff and chipping in financially to the household.Any woman that still thinks a man should pay for her food,cloths,rent and then in return has sex with him is nothing more than a glorified prostitute.

  • P1y2

    I learned a long time ago that the favorite game of most women is “The man is always wrong.” That is, no matter what the man says or does, the woman will always say that he’s wrong – even when he’s not. Here’s an example. When I was younger, I used to open doors for women – only to be cursed at and told that they’re “not some weak woman” who needs a man to open a door for them. Of course, if I didn’t do it, they cursed me for not “being a gentleman.” In other words, whatever I did, it was the wrong thing.  

    Many women want it both ways. They want us to treat them well but they want to be able to harass and criticize men however and whenever they want. You want respect ladies? Well clean up your own act first.

  • Chris

    You got what you asked for ladies

    • Guest

      We’ve come a long way baby!!

  • JamesAJanisse

    I don’t have a problem with most of these (although some of them, like holding the door for someone, are things that people should just do in general, regardless of their gender), but what rational or logical reason is there for men to pay the bill? Ideally, a date should be among two equal people both having a good time and enjoying the other’s company. What in the world makes it okay for one of those people to always have to pick up the bill based simply on what gender they are? If a woman needs to be bought for her company, the date shouldn’t be happening in the first place. If the woman is enjoying the man’s company as much as vice versa, there’s no reason the bill shouldn’t be split.

  • And for that matter, why is almost every pic of a black man? WTF is this? A reflection of the NFL? Probably. RIP, Nicole Simpson.

  • This has got to be literally the most dumbest thing I think I have ever read. There came a time when if you exhibited chilvery, you were chastised for it and viewed as some kind of creep. Well, this is what the Women’s Lib movement helped to accomplish. Don’t come crying about how manners and all that cr*p are lacking, you dumb feminist cows asked to be treated equal (armpit hair and all), and you received exactly what you asked for. F*ck all your spoiled-rotten expectations. The reality of it is that when you want a real shaft inside of you, you will gladly sacrifice your standards to get whatever your greedy heart (hilt) desires.

    • Guest

      Seek therapy!!

      • Greg

        Maybe you can give him your therapist you man-hater.

        George happens to be right

        F*CK OFF

  • Guest

    How is a guy to know which woman would appreciate these gestures?  I do all those things. Open doors, offer my coat/jacket, insist on paying etc.  however, I have several times been insulted and told “I can do it myself, I don’t need any help”.  Makes a guy not want to continue when it is not appreciated.  I still do and always will attempt to do these things but I do understand why men don’t.  Women, we don’t all expect anything from you when we try to be nice, that was the way some of us were raised and taught.

  • Ibjamen

    What???!!!!!  We women want equality.  We want equal pay for equal work. So why would we expect to get our dates paid for while a man (supposedly making equal pay) has to pay for all of his dates?  That is NOT equality!!!

  • Narv

    These are all great and many guys still do them, but looking at society today a guy never knows if insisting to pay or holding the door will be the right move or not. I’ve actually been berated for doing those b/c it was “oppressive and insinuated that the woman couldn’t do it herself.” So ladies each one of you is different so just give us a little hint on what you want and you will usually get it.

    Although I do wonder why it’s ok for women to want/expect a man to be the traditional old school gentleman, but if a man says he likes traditional women who cook or clean crap hits the fan?

  • Thank you Miss.

  • Mosdef10

    there’s a checklist a mile long about what a man should do for a female, but how long is the women’s list for what she should do for a man? is their even one around? and if you do what’s required will it even be appreciated?

    • aqquippless2000

      Here`s the checklist in a nutshell.The blackman is owed NOTHING by the blackwoman.The blackwoman is owed ANY AND EVERYTHING SHE DECIDES SHES OWED FOR BEING HERE.That`s pretty much it man.

      • And the whiteman owes both of you, right?

  • Thank you for bringing back some class and good manners!

  • Mnrelaxed

    Ah yes, wouldn’t it be nice if we could all have our cake and eat it too.  The fact is, if you want equal privileges, then you have to bear equal responsibility.  You want equal pay, then you better  do equal work and why should men pay for dates then? The fact is many women joined the feminist movement for equal rights. Now they miss all the privileges they had.  You can’t have it both ways. 

     I laughed at a girl the other week.  She complained because she thought my house was too messy, and she “Just imagined she’d be cleaning all the time like she was a maid”.  I can understand that, who wants to clean up after someone unless…… See here’s the rub, I work about 45hrs a week, she works 30. I also make about 3-4x as much as her. I have to keep up on training, she does not.  I own a +2700sq ft. house, she lives at her grandmas.  I have no kids, she has a kid. I would be expected to do all the repairs as well.

    See where I am going with this?  She’s worried she may have to clean a bit more as if she would work harder than me and bring more to the table than I.  When the fact is, financially, and time-wise (for her kid and work) I would be supporting her.  Yet it’s too much to work an extra hour or 2 on the house.  It’s this dual standard that  makes guys less likely to get married or take relationships seriously.  

    As for baby daddies someone posted.  It has nothing with ” It started when the well meanng white folks of the Great Society made NOT having a father in the home a prerequisite to getting cash welfare assistance”  To blame a race for another races laziness is a perfect example of racism itself.  No the baby daddy syndrome is purely because a lot of women are dumb.  Sorry, but face it.  Women will pick a guy they know is worthless, has never held a job for more than a week or 2, had 3 kids with different moms he owes child support on, and then think “they can change them”.  Combine that with lack of consequences  for having a kid due to welfare, and out pops the kids. 

  • Kellie Inkster

    Read this whole article and my (great) boyfriend actually does all that stuff for me. 🙂

  • Um, plenty of men still do all these things.

    You just have to find them.

    In fact, if you don’t do these things, you really can’t say you are a man.

    Especially living with your mother at age 30.

  • Anon

    Just like girls with daddy issues.

  • Perfect!

  • You hit the nail right on the head!

  • Tukadoodle

    This seems such basic common sense. Its stuff people should do. Chilvary is not dead and love is the biggest investment we make. If she makes the date she should know it means she pays. Some are just out for a free ride and a meal, and if they make no efforts then it’s time to go. Living at home when young in hard times should never be a barrier to love. Money is how we show love and a sad truth of love that can’t be denied. Pick up the tab even if she invites and score more points…if it’s reasonable. Most women of fairness will offer 3 choices of cheap, medium and expensive.At a restaurant say the most expensive dish sounds good to you. See if she goes high end and know some truth.

  • Exactly !

  • Quasar5558


  • Hey, Brad, you could always watch the TV classics… “Leave it to Beaver,” “Father Knows Best,” “All In the Family…”

    As to the part about watching TV and hanging out with your buddies while a woman supports you…tell you what, Sport. Get married to a woman with a good job. Have a few kids. Suggest you be the stay-at-home dad while she goes to work every day. Don’t be surprised if she jumps at the chance. There is nothing like a job that lasts just 8 hours per day, then you clock out, and you are DONE for the day. That other thing, well, you are on duty 24-7, no sick time, no vacation. Tell us how that works out for ya.

  • You had me as soon as you said we are all individuals, but lost me when you went on to paint all women with the same brush. Why do all the women have to come up with a unified list of demands from the modern man? How about seeing each woman you encounter as an individual, find out what she enjoys having done for her, and also find out what she enjoys doing for you? And only do what you do if you do not resent it. No polite person, man or woman, should ever rebuke another for doing a kindness. If someone does, she is not worth knowing.

  • Blah


  • Women do not despise nice guys. What women don’t like are pushovers or men with no backbone. Unfortunately, some men mistake this for interest in bad boys. What sane woman over the age of 25 is still looking for a bad boy?

  • Nicely said, Derek. Thanks for saying it without resorting to calling women tasteless names. 

  • Yes, women are making more these days and sometimes more than men. However, we are still animals. And in most animal kingdoms, the male chases the female. The male courts the female. The male shows the female why he is the one she should mate with over all others. So, to do that? Pay for the first date (unless she asks you), open her door, offer her your jacket. It’s really not asking a lot. How many men would feel comfortable if the woman they were with sat their freezing while he was warm because SHE offered HIM her jacket? Not very many men in relationships, that’s for sure. 

  • Kat

    Lol send the check to Gloria Stein
    am and Co.  Isn’t so funny now, is it?

  • Marshall Rogers-Martínez

    This is ridiculous. I think it’s worth noting that men and women have children. Women can choose to have an abortion, men cannot. I should know, my partner had one (not that I would have wanted to keep a child). Men don’t have a way (as women have through abortion) to absolve them of financial responsibility of children. Women can put children up for adoption (their own), men cannot. Biology is something that defines our physiology which we cannot change. I have no womb and women are physically weaker than men. Given these limitations I still think that men and women should be afforded equal rights. Women should pull their own weight… we all had a mother and she showed us that by giving birth to us.

    • Tukadoodle

      What a self centered post of nonsense and totally off track. Sounds like a women hater to me.

  • Hibernia86

    Women are making far more money these days, but women like Madame Noire keep pushing for men to be the ones financially responsible for the dates. That seems selfish to me. Each partner should put forward money according to their income. If a woman loves your wallet more than she loves you, it might be time to dump her.

  • Ben

    So… Women want us to do everything for them, pay for everything for them, put up with their neurosis, never argue or show any backbone, hold the door, give them our coats AND make less then them, let them control the money, have no say in anything related to the children…Shall I go on?
    How about this instead…No.

  • Mukster

    Some of us still do all those things, and more. It’s just rarer these days

  • Dr. Noah McClenahan

    Interesting, I was taught all these things in the 60's. In the 70's Gloria Steinem and her ilk came along and insisted on emasculating and neutering men, publicly scolding us and spitting on our honor for being gentlemen.

    Now women want it back the old way.

    Make up your minds.

    • News flash: This one person doesn’t speak for all women. Tell her to make up HER mind.

  • Ozzy

    Now you Guys see why we shouldn't let women define us?
    Every thing for their comfort a pleasure. That is a woman you do not nee. :: ))
    Don't ever let a chick tell you if you are a man or not; she will define Man according to what she needs at the moment.

  • 21stCenturyMan

    Women don't want to be treated like they used to be treated. I mean the minute you start using chivalry they start calling you sexist. Women are like they were when they were little girls…whiners! They cry/whine about every little thing.

  • Darrell

    You forgot # 8: Sticking around after impregnating a sista instead of going off to get high and steal from white folks.

  • Alecia

    I'm a woman who was raised with 3 brothers. I learned to behave more like a man, I guess, since good manners were expected from all of us equally. If I invite someone out for a date I offer to pay. If on a date with a man, I always offer to pay half and would not be offended if he accepted. Otherwise, why ask? I'm not after a man for his money, since I make my own. That being said, I'd generally avoid a guy without kids who still lived with his mom, unless he was the one taking care of HER. That just shows immaturity and laziness to me, regardless of gender. That only makes sense of there are kids involved. If I'm on a bus and a man offers to give up his seat, I'll generally thank him profusely for being so sweet and politely refuse. I'm healthy, so why should I put him out? That's not fair to him. The exception was when I was pregnant. I totally took them up on it then! The way I see it, we should all be kind and thoughtful. If a healthy young woman sees a tired elderly man on the bus she should offer him her seat. We should all open doors for each other. I don't think chivalry should just apply to men. We women have a responsibility to be decent as well. I think it's unfair of women to ask for the same privileges as men, but refuse to accept the same obligations.

  • David

    One thing we wish women would do: Take responsibility for their own actions and stop blaming others. It comes from their socially nurtured feeling of entitlement. Women want equality, as long as it's all slanted in their favor.

    • Alecia

      Not all of us feel that way. I'll open the door for you and if you look tired or feeble I'll offer you my seat. I'll pay my fair portion of the bill for the food I eat. Conversely, if we're doing the same work, I'd like the same pay. If we have children together I expect you to help support them. I think that's fair.

    • You are making the same mistake as the writer of this article: Painting everyone of the same gender with one wide brush.

      • Quasar5558

        AND SO ARE YOU KATHRYN!!!!!!!! Get over yourself!!!!!!!

  • Darin

    Okay, I am a man and I can agree with all of these. And even though I have no problem at all getting the bill 98% of the time, I think it is straight up rude to 'expect' a man to cover it. I really do all of the things listed up there, but the biggest problem is when people: 1) are un-thankful and 2) expect it (which causes point #1)
    Call me what you want, but I try my best to be a gentleman, I just think that sometimes the expectations are a little unfair.

  • Good list.

  • VTM

    Since women have struggled for 'equality', they should not complain now that they've got it.

    Women DEMAND to make as much money as men – so why shouldn't they split the tab?!
    Women claim they're as tough as men – why should I give my coat to her?!
    Women are only reaping what they have sown – 'you can't have your cake and eat it too'.

  • Jinx

    Radical feminism has ruined everything. Men, you need to take back your dignity. Most men if brought up correctly, have always and still continue to do these things for women, but 15+ years of male bashing have obviously taken it's toll.

  • sargeanton

    I do all the things cited; always have. I'm 67 now. Here's 7 things I wish women would do AGAIN. 1.) Stay home most of the time. 2.) Try actually rasing the kids on Godly principles and protect them from the trash on TV. 3.) Grocery shop and cook for your family. 4.) Provide comfort for a husband when he's stressed out – instead of YOU being stressed out all the time. 5.) Never have a headache unless you have a headache. 6.) Keep the house clean by working at it; and giving the children and the husband specific chores. 7) Tell everyone when you need a break and then take one, instead of having a PMS fit and scaring the family and neighbors. I know. With today's totally enslaved women (they call it "liberated"…what a joke) no two of the above will ever happen again.

  • HetNet

    Now, as a man that lived through "emancipation" and the like, the "Women's Lib" years, this crap just pisses me OFF..
    I mean, we want total equality and to be treated no differently, EXCEPT we want to be pampered and catered to and have our way paid…
    Choose one way or the other, but for crying out loud STOP WHINING.

  • cloz

    I DO NOT agree with instilling gender roles within our society, its so stupid to have male and female expectations and I feel this article takes a step backward especially for the integrity of women

  • adsfadf

    Women say they want equality, but you still want to be treated special and with chivalry. You don't get to have it both ways. If you're my equal, fine. I don't give my coat or carry the bags of someone who is my equal. If you want to be treated special fine, just quite whining when men don't treat you equally.

  • Georege Costanza

    Can't have it both ways ladies…You wanna act like men, we'll treat you like men. I went overseas in my 20s and found an international woman few years older than I am (without all the American femi-Nazi tendencies), and we're happy as can be nearly 20 years later.

  • Pingback: 10 Things I’d Love to See Women Do in 2012 | The Soul Storm()

  • Katisha Boswell

    I would say this is definitely pointed at the right men .. Black men. Black men today have no respect for women nor do they know how to treat a woman. I hope all the sisters print this out and hand to every black man they know.

    And ladies, if you want a man to act like a man and treat you like a woman .. the stop dressing, looking, walking, dancing like ho's and booty drops in the latest LilWayne video. Demand the respect or throw their sorry black asses to the curb where they belong.

    OH and demand marriage BEFORE the sex and BEFORE the kids.. And if he's already got thirteen kids by thirteen different baby mamas, again, throw his worthless black ass to the street.

  • mike d

    I agree with #1, provided it would apply to women as well. No guy (ok, at least not me) wants a daddy's little girl. If you're a woman 30 or older and still lives with your parents, unless you have a REALLY GOOD reason, you're getting dumped faster than scrap metal at a junkyard. The rest of the stuff, screw you, unless you plan on making me some brownies later tonight (which you probably won't, and I don't expect them anyway), you can do these things yourself. The last one, hym. Are you trying to sneak product placement here, telling men what is manly for them? Wasn't that the plot for Fight Club?

  • ya rite ok

    lol, women

  • tcl

    Everybody, man or woman, should offer to help somebody struggling with their bags. Everybody should hold the door open for complete strangers. Sometimes men are awkward about the idea that I, a woman, might hold a door open for a man. If we're claiming that we want chivalry for the sake of chivalry, then this should apply to everybody. EVERYBODY. We should all hold doors open for strangers, help strangers with their bags, off our seats up to seniors, and pregnant ladies, and that man over there carrying his baby and two bags of groceries.

    Do not pay for me on a first date. Do not insist. I am fully able to pay for myself. It's nice for my date to offer to pay for me as it's nice for me to offer to cover the bill. But if I supposedly don't expect you to take me up on my offer, then you should also not expect me to take you up on your offer to pay for the whole bill.

    This article just supports the same tired gender roles that claimed women can't run long distances for their uterus may fall out, or weren't smart enough to be mathematicians, engineers, scientists. Please stop writing and publishing articles like this.

  • paul

    I really enjoy listening to an autoplay ad on EVERY page of this article. THANK YOU so much for putting this awesome article on 7 pages, to truly enhance my internet experience. And #1, "Move out of their mother's house?" Seriously? What a wonderful generalization about the type of man that women are dealing with or aspiring to meet? #2 Insisting to pay. 100% sexist statement. Of course guys like spending money on women, what a stupid thing to talk about. We all like getting taken care of and taking care of other people and we ALL know the amount of money you spend on someone has little to do with love. This article is great for getting comments and this website is a perfect example of how to not set up an article.

    My idea for the next post – "7 Ways to Annoy Internet Users including Autoplay, splitting up articles, increasing advertising and generally producing garbage to increase user comments"

    I'm sure it would do well

  • afkbrad

    Fifty-plus, we're not in Kansas anymore. Women have ZERO desire to be with men who are good fathers and providers. Nice guys don't finish last…they don't finish at all.

    I can be as mean and hateful as I want to a woman and 95% of them will come crawling back. Men desire power in a relationship and since women don't want to sleep with nice guys we find our power elsewhere.

  • Gwig

    Could call it using good manners and leave it at that. Sorry to those who feel they have been shorted in life.Move on get past it your gonna be the person you want to be.

    • Well said. Short and sweet.

  • Ashley

    My boyfriend does all but 1 of these things so I guess I'm lucky. 🙂

    The one thing is paying the bill and that is purely my doing. Med school's expensive so if I can help save him a few dollars while he's there that's fine with me.

  • I love the pic of Michelle and Obama!! How sweet 🙂

  • R__

    I do all of these, but I also work out to stay in shape, work a white collar, professional job, read widely, know my way around a kitchen, can fix your brakes, will be nice to your mom, and don't let any of the above go to my head. Generally speaking, women look right through me when we hit the bars – I suspect if if you haven't found men like this, you've been looking in the wrong place.

  • ibart

    Which is it ? Are you an equal or do you want to be put on a different level?
    You want to be an equal but just not when it`s time to pay? I`m sorry,but aren`t their a lot of women living at home too ?
    A signature aftershave sounds like a piece of meat,just like when women say they hate that idea?

  • Ken

    This article is misleading, you mention “men” in the title but then talk about boys. Real men know how to treat a lady.

  • anon

    Men waliking out on women and children caused the women to have to go out and seek their own empowerment?
    Oh you must be referring to all those guys who went and GOT DRAFTED TO FIGHT WWII!
    Unless you mean the guys who were realllllly manly and volunteered to fight the last great war…
    sheese where did you guys learn your history?

    • Greg

      “Men walking out on women and children caused the women to have to go out and seek their own empowerment?”

      Stop lying. Women have led in divorce the last 40 yrs straight. Men didn’t walk out and when they were the rate was low.  That 24 perc has been eclipsed by women ever since. Women dead-beated and stole the kids. Know your History idiot or at least research b4 typing.

      Black women walked out.

  • Just sayin'

    You're completely ignoring the role Feminism has played in the destabilization of the male (and female) role in society. Women are taught to compete with men, they're taught they don't need men for anything, (Independent woman) they're taught in many cases they're better than men. (Superwoman)

    But then they still expect men to pay, they raise holy hell if a man gets paid more (even tho he's still expected to subsidize all their needs as well) and have all but abandoned in many cases their traditional role in society. (how many girls do you know who still cook for their man, keep the house spotless and take care of the kids while dad's at work)

    • shirley st. pierre

      J.S. I'm not ignoring ANYTHING. If you read the comments (fifty-plus, Shirley St. Pierre), you'd realize that. Every man and every woman has the absolute right to COMPETE for same job–IF she's fully willing and capable of "pulling her own weight". If a woman is holding down a full-time job, and her boyfriend/husband is, too…then a man cannot expect his partner to do all those things that are on a "traditional man's wish list"!

      Stay-at-home mothers are looking for affirmation for the work they do, which often goes unnoticed, unappreciated, and even thought of as menial. Women have a multitude of roles they assume, which are totally uncompensated for. They make personal sacrifices for the good of their husbands/boyfriends, children, parents, relatives, etc. When sick, they're nurse-maids/caregivers. They're psychologists, problem solvers. THESE are the superwomen you speak of.

      The women who " attempt to do it all"….full time working women…who then try to play "catch up" at home… sorry, that's not possible. There are only so many hours in a day. Relationships between men and women, parents and children become strained…because short-cuts have to be taken.

      I still maintain that if men had taken the time to appreciate and RESPECT the "superwoman", of his grandmother's era…didn't walk out on his wife and children, more marriages would remain intact today, and society would be far better off for it today.

  • White dude

    It's always like this for women. What about me, what about me, what about me!

    How about what you're going to give your guy if he does all of these things for you?

    It's easy to please a man, impossible to please a woman.

  • Suki

    What makes you think that you can speak for many women?

    • Yeah! That’s what I thought too.

  • Man

    This article is upsetting to me… I do ALL of these things (without wanting anything in return and without any hesitation) and I am STILL single!!

    Girl: "Why do I never find a nice guy….?"
    -finds nice guy-
    Girl: "Sorry, I see you just as a friend…"

  • Guest

    For goodness sake! I am a man and I have an issue with at least 2 of the 7. Suppose, just for the sake of discussion, that person A (regardless of sex), holds the door for person B (regardless of sex). Why can't person A regard it as a random act of kindness, say "Thank you", and go on about their business?

    Point number 7: Go easy on the aftershave or cologne if you wear it.. Many people today are actually allergic to those scents.

  • Jayron

    True, most men do this and if they don't they just want to F*** your ugly a**.

  • B. Roberts

    The person/people who wrote this article are way over the age of 35

  • Nancy

    Earl Campbell (running back for Houston Oliers in the 1980's) – a true gentleman!
    Struggling on crutches out of the Galleria Macy's (Sage Rd side), this hand pushed ahead of me to open the door, and then the next two, to get me onto the street where my ride waited to pick me up. When i tried to thank him – he had even offered me his arm to get down the stairs and carry my crutches! – he replied "I know how it is to be on crutches," What a wonderful person!
    He has been an example not just for me, but our family. (my dad saw him help me and constantly tells people about Mr Campbell's kindness as well) Thank you – and god bless!

  • lightonfirez

    This is what we wish women DIDN'T DO: http://goo.gl/f4pXo

  • mca

    duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, and advertisement.

  • TAI

    My man does all these things and more, plus he married me because he was looking for a woman to be his partner and the mother of his children rather than just a semen receptacle (and no, we did not sleep together before marriage-we have standards). Now he works full time so I can finish school and once we have children, we have agreed that working outside of the home is an option for me. However, we are setting ourselves up now to have our own businesses so that we can make our family a priority. Good men are out there if you know where to look and if you actually have something to offer as a woman rather than being demanding all the time. My husband treats me like a Queen because in this home he is King, and that is apparent to everyone who knows us.

  • Jonithan Snowflake

    And, don't forget to pull up your pants, fool!

    Looking like a prison escapee isn't authentic. It's ignorant.

  • Jack

    I'm afraid this article is just sexist. None of these behaviours should have anything to do with gender.

    Someone is cold? Help them get warm. Someone has a lot to carry? Help them carry some of it. Want to be nice to someone? Pay for them and generally make an effort to be nice.

    Why should any of that be done only by men and for women?

  • Mondo

    Whenever women want to have "the talk",its always about something i need to do or change. I'm so glad as a man i know when to ignore most of a woman's blabbering garbage.

  • Mark

    This is a terribly dopey article:
    THERE ARE GOOD MEN AND WOMEN OUT THERE; if you haven't seen or recognized them (or if they avoid you) that's your fault.
    THERE ARE GOOD MEN AND WOMEN OUT THERE; if you haven't seen or recognized them (or if they avoid you) that's your fault.

  • erdwinJC

    This will never happen! If it does, You have yourself a player on your hands. You women have taken advantage of, lied to and back stabbed us for so long , We have learned acting that way just tells yall were an easy target! What the real truth is, You chicks wanted equal rights now you got em, and being the lazy people you are, You dont like having to work! So your trying to cloak that truth and make us think you want chivalry back because thats how women are, Liars! Phsychotic liars who explode when you are exposed and you try to use reverse phsychology by getting angry to make people think you are really mad in hopes they will think you arent lying. Fools! Maybe one day the female gender will learn , the reason why women were house wives and men were the money makers is because that is the best way for it to be! NOT because it is a power trip! Now dont get me wrong. There are some good women and men out there. There just shacked up with the wrong opposite! After that opposite has taken them for fools, that person is now educated in the way of the world of relationships so they evolve into a smarter more cautious individual. SO next time you think to yourself or say aloud, what the """" is wrong with women/men. I want you to thank your own gender for making that person who screwed you over the person they are today!

  • ereezy

    well I'm gonna tell these women like these women tell me. this ain't the 1800s. times change. you want me to hold the door for you and me to have my own house? for what? why dont you do that for me? you fought to be equal now you gonna backpeddle? ahh lol…only a female would believe the world works like that. in this society by default, women are equal w men, so you ain't gettn no doors held for ya, and since you are the reason why, I won't feel a bit of shame.

  • ereezy

    well I'm gonna tell these women like these women tell me. this ain't the 1800s. times change. you want me to hold the door for you and have my own house? for what? why dont you do that for me? you faught to be equal now you gonna backpeddle? ahh lol…only a female would believe the world works like that. in this society by default, women are equal w men, so you ain't gettn no doors held for ya, and since you are the reason why, I won't feel a bit of shame.

  • Morgan

    Most of the points in this article reflect good manners. That is a good thing, it makes our society a nicer place to live. There ARE men who still do those things, without being prodded.

    If you are a woman who is now dating and read this will change your mind after you marry that "ideal guy"?
    Will you suddenly want him to stop being in charge and require him to consult you with everything?
    Will you still want him to "be the man"? Or will you find yourself wanting him to be the man, according to your wishes?

    Not all women, but some, try to "manage" their husband after marriage. MEN, be forewarned. A woman who can manage you or manipulate you will soon lose respect.

    Guys, you got to be the man, but you also need to be loving and respectful of your lady.
    That doesn't mean putting her down. Who wants a woman who doesn't think well of herself?
    Say good things to her, build her up. She will love you for it and you will have a great woman who thinks good of herself and loves her man, and is devoted to him.

    That's ideal. That is what both men and women truly want.

  • Hesh

    #1 should have been "Be Attractive" And #2 "Have Money." Because that's the only thing that women who read articles like this care about any way.

  • jaybird

    Who the hell do you "B"'s think you are? You're no better than anyone else so get up off your fat lazy asses and do YOUR part to show some character! How about YOU show some generosity? How about YOU offer to carry something? How about YOU do some working out to look fit? You really do yourselves wrong by being so lousy and having such bad selfish character.

    • Male Pig

      Easy Jaybird, Why the hate?

  • jaybird

    When will you silly females get over this ridiculous idea that life is a play and we're supposed to have certain "roles"? Get over yourselves, lamebrains. If you can't open a car door, get to the gym more often. If you can't pay for your dinner, don't go out. If your cold, wear a coat. Stop being so damn stupid! Have some character for a change.

  • jaybird

    Shivering? How about using some sense and bringing your own coat. What are you, a two year old?

  • jaybird

    Females have very little character if they are so selfish and stingy that they EXPECT every man to pay their way in life! Females really should reevaluate their character as a whole. Selfishness and lack of generosity is ugly! Females are wretched to play silly roles and expect men to do the same. Humans should just live and let live and females particularly need to evolve into a more generous creature. Stop thinking you need to be worshiped. You are certainly not better than a male so why on earth should you be treated like you are? Pay your bill, "B"! Men aren't your welfare department!

  • Derek Swanson

    Once everyone deals with their personal issues and is able to get to their true belief systems, they'll see there's someone for EVERYONE. Pay for dinner, don't pay for dinner, hold doors open, etc… there was ALOT of good and ALOT of bad in the " olden days ". There's someone for everyone at any point in history… It's called mutual respect in whatever form a couple agrees upon. All the rest is " Whatever floats your boat. "

  • Male Pig

    I'm a big fan of the women's movement. Especially when they are walking in front of me;)

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  • Male Pig

    Things will never change as long as women are in control of 90% of the worlds diamonds and 100% of the worlds puzzy.

  • meredith

    this is disgusting. you're basically saying women are worthy of a free meal but men aren't. i'm a woman and i pay the bill most of the time. my fiance, on the other hand, does 95% of the cooking. it doesn't mean i'm not worthy, it means i think HE is worthy of me taking him out since i have more money. and he doesn't feel emasculated by it, especially considering we have the most active sex life of any couple i know. studies have proven that egalitarian marriages end in divorce the least, are the happiest, and have the most sex. when women say "i want equal rights… but you still have to pay the bill!" it just makes men not respect us as equals–how could they?

    maybe it's because you're 56 (i'm 24) and you're just from a different time, but both my mother and my father always taught me to be self-sufficient. i'm thankful my father wanted his daughter to have the same opportunities as his sons. and i'm thankful that my parents helped give me the tools i would need to be successful enough that i CAN take a man out to dinner.

    this is just utterly disgusting. i hope men don't think we're all like you.

    • shirley st. pierre

      I have a daughter, twenty-nine years old. I raised her to be very self-sufficient/self-supportive. Let's just say–she's had it up to her eyeballs trying to find "Mr. Right" within her own generation! As we speak, she is very capable of financially supporting herself and anyone else, too–for that matter. Also, she's not a single parent, herself, but she's a generous young woman–willing to help her current boyfriend support his three children. My son, thirty-years old, is gainfully employed, too. And he's the kind of guy who can afford to take his dates to high-end restaurants–without expecting the woman to pay for a night out with him. He's a total gentleman. And It has nothing to do with him being "out-of touch" with his peers–because he's very much aware of young women willing to pay their own way. He just doesn't want them to? :-/ I suppose it has something to do with having a good role model–his father.

      Miss Meredith…if your happy with your relationship, that's all that matters–to you. I'm glad your parents raised you to be self-reliant, a strong young woman. Wonderful. However, make no subliminal presumptions that I poisoned my kids' minds, by raising them to be descent human beings.

    • Kaththee

      The comment from Guest was so disgusting it was removed but I don’t believe all your statistics especially about sex.   There is no equality in a good male/female relationship.   Relationships are about give and take just like you and your fiance with the cooking and eating out deal which I think is great and a good sign for both of you.  My husband is the breadwinner in our family and he makes a lot of money.  I make none and we had/have a great sex life.   I stayed home and took care of our children and our house.   We are not equals.  He is better at somethings and I am better at others.  As it turns out he is much better at making money but even in intellectual matters we excel in different pursuits and disciplines.   We need each other to balance out.   Neither of us could have ever accomplished as much in life without the other.  There is nothing all that impressive about an active sex life in the beginning of a relationship anyway, lets talk in 25 years.   If you can’t get the early sex part right then you have no business being together anyway.  Things do tend to be more “egalitarian” in relationships early on so if the study is comparing young people to older people who have started having children maybe that is why there is more sex for the “egalitarian” couples.  Younger childless couples who just met probably do have more sex than older couples or couples with small children who have been together awhile.  Staying together does upset the equality in the male/female proposition.   Pregnancy is not an egalitarian enterprise and child rearing tend to fall on the woman too.  Then we get behind in our ability to pay those bills.  Then all that enormous responsibility falls on the man.   I wanted to stay home with my children and I was grateful that my husband LET me stay home.   He paid all the bills and still does.  I am grateful.  He is grateful for me too.   We had/have a great sex life.   I don’t agree that traditional male and female relationships suffer sexually compared to a modern “equal” couples.  

  • shirley st. pierre

    You deserve lots of hugs and have my utmost respect 🙂

  • Dave

    This article is incredibly archaic. I am a big fan of women's equality, and with equality there are just some benefits that have to go out the window.

  • Guest

    Women insisted on equality. That means you get what you give. Nothing more nothing less. Give me something and maybe I will return the favor. Otherwise, you are on your own

  • Guest

    Women's movement for equality started the changed in the relation between men and women. Equality means you get what you give. Buy the man lunch, hold the door open for the man, etc. Women insisted in opening the door, now live with it. Whinning baby.

  • guest

    Why are these MANLY acts and not just acts performed by considerate HUMAN BEINGS? I think while we women are still fighting to be seen as equals in many walks of life (especially where wages are concerned), to demand special treatment is hypocritical. Demand that the people you interact with be polite and considerate, but be polite and considerate in turn! Whoever plans the date should pick up the bill. Whoever gets to the door first should hold it open. If a woman declines your offer of help, accept politely. She probably just gets sick of being treated like a weakling she is not and never has been.

  • trying

    I understand the preference for all the suggested behaviors, except the last one. Signature aftershave? That's metro, not retro. And it's inconsiderate of all the people that are allergic to perfumes and scents. I'm not allergic, but I've heard many mention the problems they have. And now that I think about it, I'm often turned off when women are drenched in perfume…be sparing, please.

  • SophieCat

    Send the men in this world to another planet and you'll see Earth INSTANTLY become cleaner and safer, more abundant and more loving.

    It's not WOMEN who start the wars of our time. It's MEN.

    • alldawg

      who benefits from mens achievements…WOMEN DO…. women dont die in wars…MEN DO…..

    • Male Pig

      Really? wasn't Condi Rice in charge for the Iraq invasion and Hillary Clnton in charge for the last invasions we have had. Oh let us not forget Madeline Albright was running the show during the Balkan wars. Sorry SophieCat. My guess is that all the men in your life thought you had chance of being "The Crazy Cat Lady"

  • Jacqueline

    Also, giving up a seat for a lady. Men just don't do that anymore.

    • Guest

      Just for the record, I would like to give a woman my seat, but I don't. The reason is that my arthritic back just kills me when I stand up for any length of time. Cheers!

  • Jeff

    How are #1 and #2 considered financially responsible?

    For #3, why on God's green earth can't you wear clothes that are appropriate for the weather? You know how cold it is outside, and you know how cold you get, grow up and dress appropriately!

  • Candy


  • RobertG

    So exactly which men ARENT doing these things? With the exception of moving out of my mother's house, which i did at 16 in 1990, and having my own aftershave label, I do and always have done all those things.

  • Jessica Metaneira

    One word. YUCK!

    I wouldn't want a man do to any of these things. Why?

    Because all of these 'chivalrous' behaviours are based on the idea that a woman is somehow inferior, less than a competent adult. Why should one adult have to pay for the entire bill because of their biology? Why should one adult have to always be the one to carry a bag that only weighs 10 kilograms because of his biology?

    I would not (I am female) want to put myself in the position of 'weak one who needs caring for' when I am neither disabled, mentally unsound or otherwise inferior. I find that very distasteful.

  • Rocky

    Why is it that women want to treated equal, but they want to be treated like they're special too. The reason we don't do most of those things anymore, is because women wanted equality.

    And, if I was a black man, I'd be POed since they portray black men in six of the seven images in this message! I think they're trying to tell you brothers something.

  • anon

    My wife asked me out on our first date. She was the one who initially suggested marriage. Ten years later we're still married. Ditch the archaic rules and see each other as human beings. Give a good person your best and he will reciprocate.

  • noone

    Ladies… blame your own gender for a few of these. The women's movement said that you didn't want special treatment and wanted equal rights… guess what, you got it; now live with it.

  • That's three minutes I'll never get back.

  • AJH

    Um, what is this racist website that CNN linked me to? "Things White People Don't Understand About Black Hair" is a private conversation for the beauty parlor, NOT a mass publication. How is this not racist? Why is this ok?

    *awaits the racists and their b.s. explanations that don't change the fact that this sort of media is a racist double standard*

  • Randy

    I met a woman I liked. We spoke and I asked her out on a date. After I paid for dinner we went dancing and she insisted on paying for every other round. "I work for a living also" she quietly stated. 25 years later, she is still by my side as my equal, lover and friend. Yes, I am the man, but that is a damn good woman standing next to me.

  • Mikey

    Agree with most of these, but Whoah! #6 really? Sorry, if you have a heavy carry on, lift it yourself! Don't expect a man to do it for you. If you do, better stay at home barefoot and do all the cooking and cleaning then. If we are going back to the 60s, then fair is fair afterall.

    Working at a company that is 90% women, I am just blown away by how often I am asked to lift or move something heavy. Not help lift, lift or move the whole damn thing on my own. – I am 6' 1' and barely make 170# – you think I am that much stronger than the average woman who is 5 '4- 5' 6' and weighs the same as me? Common, don't be lazy, get a friend to help you or share the load with me. Don't expect me to all the work just because I am the man. Afterall, at home I do 1/2 the cooking, 1/2 the cleaning, 1/2 the laundry, etc. And yes, my wife helps me lift 1/2 of all the heavy crap.

  • We are a dying breed, my good man. I've been married to the same woman for 18 years, and we dated for 5 years before that. Neither of us slept around before we met. I'll still hold the door for her (or anyone else that needs it, male or female), I'll get her bags (if my hands aren't full already), she gets my coat if she's ever cold (the same as our daughter) – in fact, she'll get a hug from me with the coat wrapped around her to make sure she warms up.

    The more I read of these "modern living" type articles, the happier I am to be married – I'd never survive in this modern world! My wife and I love and respect and do *for each other* – not just the big man doing things for the modern woman who wants it all but has nothing to give back. If a woman wants everything from a man, she has to be ready to give everything to him in return.

  • Likewaterforchoc

    I am pretty sure that you are ugly, both inside and out. You have a fould mouth and a foul mind. maybe you should re-read the article and give your brain a bath or drink some "stop-bytch-azzedness-now" elixir. Because you are one of the "Non-Manly" men that she speaks of.

    As a matter of fact, one might say that your are a "rhymes with snitch."

  • emma

    'Chivalry' is basically manners and consideration; the whole world right now could use a lot more of that. As to picking up the bill, sorry but most women work now and a woman should be prepared to pay her share or return the generosity by treating man as well, at the very least with a home-cooked meal or a concert.
    Other thign rare nowadays: for a man to be a Mr fix-it: if he is good with his hands that way…well, you get the idea.

  • Cookii

    I find the arguments this has stemmed quite amusing. Where I come from a lot of men still show these traits. Most live in their ow house and just about none would ever ask a woman to pay for a meal on a date! Personally I am engaged and my fiance is brilliant, he helps me, and though he has trouble taking the 'man' role thanks to his mother and her ways, he still does his best.

  • Larry

    I disagree that women get colder faster than men. Women have an extra layer of fat. Women get cold because they don't dress for the occasion or fail to take a sweater, shawl or coat with them. Not that I wouldn't give up my coat for my damsel, but now I get to freeze.

  • Nneka

    One disgraceful comment 'Brother' Emaka. I don't agree with all the points in the article, however the general message is so true.

    Your defense mechanism is pityful.You can hide your (web) face now.

  • Duffy

    I agree with all the above except for paying the check. In most situations it should be the person initiating the dinner who should pay, regardless of gender. To expect they guy to pay every time without exception is a little unrealistic. Also, if you think explaining to a prospective date that you're living with your mother (which I did briefly 10 years ago) is difficult , try explaining that you live with your ex-wife! I've been platonically sharing living space with my ex, along with our kids, for almost 7 years and it's definitely put a damper on our social lives. However, we're going to go our separate ways (again) early next year, so it will no longer be an issue.

  • marcus

    lol, is this a joke? y’all want to equality, right? you all want to be treated just like men but with the perks of women, hah! good luck!

  • Tohellwithchivalry

    Have you moved out of your parents house? Then why would you expect him to? Do you have a stable income? Then you can pay for your own meals. Do you have a phone? Then you can call him. Do you hold open doors for strangers? Then don't expect him to. Do you think it's cold outside? Then bring your own coat. Do you have two hands? Carry your own bags. This is why feminism failed. I'm so tired of listening to my fellow gendermates talk about respect and independence but still expect to maintain their status as daddy's little princess. Having a vagina does not obligate every man you encounter to go out of his way to tend to your needs. We asked for equality and, babe, we got it. But hey, apparently we don't want to be treated as equals; we just want to be treated special.

  • BlackCowboyStudBrett

    Well,dude,would you like to ride the back of buses,be forced to use "Colored" rest-rooms,restaurants and other facilities and amenities ala the 60's?(To say nothing of being beaten,fire-bombed or lynched for marching for Civil Rights,let alone ACTUALLY VOTING!!!)Yeah,I'd LOVE THAT ASPECT OF THE 60'S TO RETURN!!!!
    As for women,I hold open doors,put on their coat,lift/carry objects-I'm 5'8",224 lb.,181/4" biceps,so that helps with that part of chivalry-pull out chairs,etc.,for EVERY WOMAN,not just mine,but as I believe in being a "caring caveman,"after being a public gentleman,I'm the sort of guy who get his girl in the bedroom and start studding her-to her delight,as MOST WOMEN want a black man who's chivalrous in public and libidinous in private-ASAP!!!!!

  • Jaykay7

    The way I was raised, everything a "man" does is inherently Wrong. Smart males would be committing suicide today if they acknowledged the truth…

  • EightiesSupport

    Good comment. Society has changed, better vs. worse is a never-ending debate but we can't go back. And no woman (or man) is entitled to have it her way, both ways, all the time…

  • John

    "Real" men want to take care of themselves first. If he wants to take care of women first he's already lost and it will eventually manifest in the relationship (jealous dependency, abuse, etc.).

  • Chen

    "P.S. – With the trying times, we can understand moving back home for survival reasons but if the fact of the matter is that if a 30-year-old man man has never left his parent’s place, well…need we say more?"

    That's racist. It is almost universal that Asian kids do not leave home until getting married.

  • shirley st. pierre

    A woman's place is in the MALL…lol Hey, you guys have your favorite outlets, too! 🙂

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  • John James

    Ladies, you had all of that. It wasnt enough. You wanted "equality." The only thing a man wants from a woman is for her to spread her legs. Grow up-

  • halligator

    Equal rights means equal privileges.

  • No Gentleman

    The issue is when men act like a gentleman there are still quite a few woman who take offense!

    I can open my own door…..thank you very much.
    I don't need to sit down! Do I look helpless?
    I can carry my own groceries! Do I look weak to you?
    I have my own money! You don't need to pay.

    Need I say more?

  • SuperBukowski

    Bravo! Well said! Viva Asia!!!!!!!!

  • Not only do I still do these 7 things, I teach other men to do the same.

  • Russ

    Women (and men) need to stop blaming men for the problems in society. The problems our society faces today are close to 100% because of feminism and the false values and ideals it instills in young women. Feminism effectively makes women worthless to men. Men don't do those things anymore because they don't see any value in pampering women who are effectively worthless. Return to being normal women and we'll return to being normal men. 🙂

    • SuperBukowski


  • david

    Or it was because your husband was already helping you? lol


  • Kim

    actually,you are wrong. All wrong. And..learn how to spell

  • Jen

    Wow. I certainly agree witht he fifty-plus comment. As for me, have been dating quite a while and holding out for a true gentleman…have yet to find him. Only ONE man insisted on doing all those things for me, and though we dated, he was a little younger than me and couldn't get past it. We remain friends. I do insist on dating men who I feel were raised "right" and yet, not very many of men have EVER insisted on paying, even if they have good jobs. Seems most of them are just plain spoiled. I've always offered to help pay for my own drink/dinner on a first date because I don't want them to feel like I OWE them something right off the bat. Some men actually feel this way, believe it or not. Another man I dated insisted on walking in front of me and/or leaving me standing alone for extended periods of time at a party or bar or what have you…and when I mentioned something about it he felt I was criticizing him…well, that did not last. Men are just NOT men anymore…at least I can't find one…

    • SuperBukowski

      Lots of DBags out there. But they haven't been taught because society teaches the women to act like they have immense value and make the man chase endlessly which in turn makes the men think they have to be a "player" and when they do catch her it's more like conquering her and getting what he wants from her cause she played so hard to get. You know, pretty much like any reality show these days. Getting over seems to be the new mandate. Your solution to the problem is to just chill, be honet always and be cool. But there will always be DBags.

    • shane_k

      men who pay the bill for women or hold the door open for women are seen by women as weak! You might think that's what you want, but I am betting there are a ton of guys in your life who would do these things for you and guess what they are the ones you call "friends" or "nice guys" And REAL MEN know that "nice guys finish last" and who wants to finish last

  • Dave

    Ah yes pay the prostitutes bill, you never know what wrath will occur if you don't, oh wait…

  • Mike

    This article confirms what we men already know about women….that they are singularly selfish, self-obsessed, and self-centered. They want to be "equal", but also want preferences, as indicated by the 7 things listed in this article. What incredible hypocrisy…..and what an incredible sense of entitlement.
    Women, we don't owe you anything, as this article suggests we do. You, now equal and just as good as men according to all sources, can take care of yourselves. How about opening the door for us? Yes, you can pay the bill, go out and get the car in the rain, and all the other stuff. After all, aren't you equal? With rights come responsibilities, something the femmes refuse to acknowledge…its always been about "advantage", not equality.
    Yes, chivalry is dead, and its not coming back until you bimbos get off your self-centered high horse. You have an realistic and inflated sense of expectancy…..its the individual, not the gender which matters, and EACH gender can be chivalrous towards the other.
    And yes, we'll leave the toilet seat up…

    • SuperBukowski

      Amen brother!

      Men don't pay prostitutes for sex, they pay them so they will leave in the morning. There is a common saying amongst women that goes, "I don't need a man!" Oh that's just great, hope that works out for you cause men's needs are really defined and simple. Sex, food and sports. So I think we'll both be just fine! But don't get offended when a man offers you money for sex, cause that's what you've brought it down to.

      • Ditto

        Dont understand the 2nd half of Super's comment but i do agree with you Mike. I just find it funny that whenever a person has a Great point and a challenge to women they skip over the comment and the chance a good spirit debate and go to other comments that tell them what they want to hear. Your comment is one of the best on here, yours and the ones from "A Womans Dare"

  • anon

    Sexism, internalised misogyny, shallow pathetic bullcrap.
    Get a life and treat each other like human beings instead of this arbitrary foolishness.

  • Number 2 made me laugh. You offer to split the bill and are bewildered if he doesn't concur? How sexist. This article, and whomever wrote it, is an injustice to gender equality. Makes me sick reading it.

    Perhaps women should be making 70 cents for every dollar a man earns if they expect all this special treatment simply for being born without a Y chromosome.

    • alldawg

      feminism belongs in the work place, not in the home, its the main reason why BW are single they dont know the difference between the two…

      70 cent because of maternity leave, calling in sick because of PMS, having to leave early to pick up the kids and all the other perks men dont get because of that Y chromosome…

  • Thanos

    If women did the womanly things that make women special maybe more men would do the manly things. If a man text you all the time he probably doesn't want to hear your voice. If he doesn't hold the door for you he probably wishes you weren't there. Most men I know do all of these things and more for women that they truly care about. If a woman's date or man doesn't do any of these things he's probably not that into you. Read the signs.

  • Serginho

    It may be hard for you to accept, but the fact is that divorce is a creature of the feminist movement.

    Fact: The first no-fault divorce law was enacted in California in 1970, on the hells of–guess what–the bra-burning of the 1960s.

    Fact: The woman is 2 to 4 times (depending on the demographic) more likely to initiate any given divorce.

    YOU started this whole mess. And now you complain that you don't like the rules you made?

    • shirley st. pierre

      The feminist movement had its good points as well as its bad points. Men were walking out on their wives and children–not supporting their children (to boot). That forced women to find the "equal pay/equal work" jobs that, yes, at times, required them to encroach upon traditional jobs performed primarily by men. Secretarial work doesn't put food on the plates for the children whose fathers abandoned them, financially. Fair enough? As far as the "ball breaking" goes–not nice! Bottom line-families were not brought together for the purpose of being divided later on. Relationships, marriages go through tough times–weathering these storms makes a person stronger, and wiser. To be fair–women were equally unkind towards other women. Women who were content and happy with their marriages were made to feel inferior by those feminists, who encouraged them to leave their old-fashioned lives behind…sometimes, leaving their husbands, too..in pursuit of having a life all their own. By "finding themselves"…other things, even the most important people in our lives–got lost in the shuffle. Parents, as well as their children got " caught up in materialism". Full parenting–the kind that affords children their mothers and fathers the time to teach their children right from wrong–became a thing of the past. Parenting was left up to daycare providers, schools and their children s peers. As for material pursuits…enough became never enough. Today, we wonder why so many things went so terribly wrong.
      No, Serg…I never burned my bra. I worked full time before my children were born, part time afterwords. And my marriage was never a commitment that I wanted to walk away from. You see, I have no control over the changes going on in the world So, I figured out (early on) that it was up to me to create the kind of world I wanted, which made me relevant…to my husband, parents, children, friends, neighbors, etc. When you think about it–its really up to us to make the best possible choices we can in life–without hurting others, or ourselves. Have a good life. .

    • SophieCat

      Yes, divorce never happened until the '70's, you NIT-WIT. That's because men were capable – and often did – institutionalize their wives when they got too old and unattractive, and had their doctor-cronies lobotomize them so they could run off with a younger woman.

      But hey, don't take MY word for it – read the statistics for yourselves. Men are a TEN TIMES MORE LIKELY to do just more than complain. We'll NEVER catch up to the number of MEN who would rather SLAUGHTER their own offspring than pay for them via child support.

      Be glad we just "complainers" – if we resorted to more "manly" tactics the human race would be wiped-out.

      Someone's got to GIVE LIFE when the other half of civilization is so HELL-BENT on taking it away.

      But go ahead and blame us for THAT too – all the wars we women start.

      So let's see – how many female-initiated wars are we up to now?

      • Ren



      • Joshua

        Wow Sophie angry much? Do you realize that both women and men are cruel creatures? You can look throughout history to find examples of both. Men lobotimize their wifes to move on to younger women with the help of their doctor-cronies? Well how about mother's that murder their children because they don't want to be mom's? Both are horrible acts of cruelty regardless of the gender. Men initiate wars? Ok, well men typically go to war and initiate wars more but not exclusively, Queen Elizabeth I engaged in a war with King Phillip of Spain for many years murdering thousands of men. So it's not as if womens hands are completely clean. And lastly men leave women that are unattractive? Yes it's true a lot of men do, more than should. But I ask you how many women have left men because they aren't "manly" enough, or don't make enough money to provide for them in the manner that they expect or even because they are no longer attracted to their husbands/boyfriends?

    • Bob

      Wrong. Divorce has been happening for centuries. People, men and women would just up and leave. Thereby divorcing themselves from that relationship.

    • Alecia

      Can you supply links to your research? I've never seen any figures that indicate women are more likely to initiate divorce than men. Although, if true, you'd have to take into account whether the women are filing for divorce because they've been abandoned. Most guys who bolt on their wives and kids don't bother with paperwork, so it's left to the wives to take care of the details.

  • Serginho

    Problem is that too many women do just that and set out to bleed the man's wallet dry.

  • Serginho

    Just one question for the ladies who nodded their heads throughout the reading of this article?

    Just who is raising boys to be less-than-manly-men nowadays?

    • Rachael

      Hmmmm I don't know- maybe there absentee fathers? You frackers wanna complain about girly men when you motherfrackers aren't there to raise your own big headed kids.

      • alldawg


        your comment made no sense, even from a sarcastic stand point. you should have put the word "single black" in front of mother…

        As long as there is welfare these women dont want a man in the home, just as long as that check keep coming.
        BW create their own problems, then blame the problem.

        Next time anybody complains about their baby daddy, ask her..what was he doing with his life when he got you pregnant. And listen to her response as she try to play victim from her own participation…

  • Ben

    just wondering, but why is a man expected to do so many things for a woman, when man and woman are supposed to be equal?

    I'm not against doing these things, but in a world where people scream equality, shouldn't these ideals also change in order to not be hypocritical? This is kind of like expecting a wife to be a homemaker and stay-at-home mom.

  • guest

    instead of constantly complaining about what men are lacking maybe we should explore the lack of WOMAN in society. how about an article written buy a man about things women stopped doing. the reality is this people, men do as women allow us to. a woman with standards is greatly desired by todays man but we rarely find them and normally they come with an empowerment complex that creates an adversarial relationship vice interdependent

  • Jerry

    My dad and mom taught us kids that “water seeks its own level.”
    You don’t get what you expect, you get what you inspect!
    If you have talked with a person long enough to ask them on a date or take things to the next level, don’t tell me you didn’t see the warning signs. Tell me you chose to ignore what you saw!

  • Toroc

    1. Move out of their mothers houses-Fair Enough

    2. Insist on paying for the meal-I have no idea how this works, I've offered to pay the bill, split the bill, let her pay, I don't think any 2 women take this gesture the same way. I usually just try to feel my way out, I'm usually wrong.

    3. Dialing our Number-Err okay, seems like most girls wanna get on facebook more than anything else

    4. Hold the door open for a stranger – Okay

    5. Keep us warm – no problem

    6. Help us with our bags – help my girl no prob, help some random girl, asking for trouble imo. Then again I don't think I've ever actually seen a random girl struggling with her bags(I swear).

    7. Aftershave – Really?

  • SuperBukowski

    In America, I've found that the majority of these things are offensive to women. Sorry ladies you can't have it both ways, you can't refuse to let me lead, let me be a man (a real old school man with a WW2 Marine Corps father) and then turn it around and say you miss all those things. I'm not sure where all the man-hate has come from, but it's thick these days and it would be nice if you could just tell us what you want. You want to be equal and wear dirty jeans, Castro hats, Crocs and be as manly as us or do you want to be a full woman in heels and all? Oh wait…I don't care anymore…I LIVE IN ASIA!!!!! Where the women are WOMEN 100% . It might as well be 1950 here for the roles are completely traditional…and I am a man and my lady is a full on lipstick, high heel, long haired woman. God Bless Asia. (OK, now bring on your stereotypical "gotta go to Asis to get a woman loser" man hate…I've heard it all before chubby.

    • KIM

      you sound like a woman-hater

      • SuperBukowski

        Hate is a strong word. I really do not care for most Western women any more. I said MOST, not all. I prefer traditional woman. I said traditional, not submissive. I am a fat man, I said fat not chubby. hehehehehe

    • lewtwo

      Sorry ladies you can't have it both ways …
      AMEN !

  • David

    This is all good – but last week when I walked up to help a woman with her groceries, I thought she was going to taze me. Stop concealed carry, tazers, and hand help mace and we (men) might feel more like approaching a woman!

  • Mark

    This article is gag-inducing

  • sam

    The kid walked by because stopping to help is no longer a wise thing to do. In can get you sued, robbed, shot. We are living in a time fortold in Revelations when the "love of the greater number will cool off due to the increasing of lawlessness". Today when you see a family holding a sign indicating they need a meal, there is a real chance the kid is "rented" from an alcholic single parent. Our wonderful world will soon be changing even more. I'm glad your husband was able to help. Maybe the kid will read this and ponder.

    • shirley st. pierre

      I doubt that kid will ever read and ponder what I've written here. And I'm equally sure he's never thought twice about what he pretended not to see (in the first place). Not until he experiences for himself a similar crisis will he even be aware of what it feels like when people don't give a damn.

      Do I wish this on him or anyone else like him? Not at all. Having said that–Karma is a very REAL force in all of our lives, which is unforgiving and often times fierce. Unfortunately, he will find himself in situations where he needs assistance and no one will be there to him help. Sometimes, bad karma is the only way to force a person to make positive changes within themselves.

      Here's a point to ponder… Five, ten years ago or more, if that identical situation happened, that kids' indifference would have upset me a lot more than it did today. I've become "desensitized" when it comes to my faith in people, overall. The fact that I was hoping no one "stopped their car" to offer me help me…that I felt "threatened by the thought of it"…speaks volumes about how much our "technological world' has putting more and more distance between us all. To the point of turning (what used to be) indispensable HUMAN COMPASSION into something which makes us all feel so meaningless and expendable.

      Sorry, wish I could paint a rosier picture of the world–as it is. Unfortunately, we ARE living in times that do test our very souls! Still in all, we have special gifts that we can make better use of–if we choose to. A little kindness goes a long way in helping to create a world around us that makes us learn to smile again 🙂

      • Joshua

        While i can see that you seem to have lost hope in the plausability of good natured people existing with out an ulterior motive I can't help but ask myself if i shall ever become as senile as the picture of a person you paint yourself to be. There is crime, and there are people that don't care. However, you are giving yourself an excuse to display those same characteristics. You lack the resilience needed to make a change in the environment around you… Why didn't YOU ask for help? What kept YOU from reaching out to those passer byers on the street? Maybe i've just had better luck with people, but i have seen some EXTRODINARY acts of kindness. I've seen entire neighborhoods pull together to help each other after hurricanes, earthquakes, and storms, i've seen neighbors lend a hand to push dead cars out of the street, random strangers rush to the aid of complete strangers to save a life. I have seen the charity of volunteer fire departments and police men alike, as well as complete strangers stand up for those in need. For you to say there is no hope for our future because someone didn't notice you were in pain and immediately come to your aid without being asked is a poor excuse to be upset… Don't get me wrong, had that kid stopped and asked if you needed assistance, it may have said even more about his character, but to any kid that owns a skateboard, a fall (without knowledge of you having broken something) is a very minor issue, which could easily be over looked, without a request for assistance….

        While i agree with some of this article, in that men should still show the character of chivalry, i COMPLETELY disagree with one side of the party or the other paying for the meal. A relationship is a joint venture, and while It is a greater gesture and more or less tradition to buy your dates meal and evening events, it should NOT be required nor treated as a means of measuring the candidate of your courter.

        Furthermore, the ONLY true thing your candidate should be measured on is his respect for others, and the values of morality he chooses to uphold. "Does he/she have a good heart? Do our interests coincide? Will we care for each other equally?" If you find yourself in a situation where a woman or a man considers you for any other reason, you are infact aimed at a relationship that is based on materialistic values, and ideals of one person in this relationship being subservient to the other

        I don't know how the hell i found this stupid article but the only thing i found useful or accurate was the information that some women consider it rude to offer your seat, or hold the door for them (which happen to be the only "marks" of chivalry in this waste of reading time)

        you want to see a change in your environment, then LIVE by a code of honor
        INTEGRITY,SERVICE BEFORE SELF, EXCELLENCE prove that you can follow those values before asking others ESPECIALLY your potential mate of anything more…

        • mkv

          Well said.

  • Peter

    I'm a guy and I think this list is silly and ridiculous.

    Most of the listed items are pointless and archaic, sure they may or may not be nice, but judging a guy on them? Wow.

    The one about insisting the guy always pays is horrific. What are you trying to teach people?

    And to the vast majority of the commenters 'Let men be men'. Are we supposed to take our shirts off, oil up and fight each other for your honour?

    I feel like I blinked and found myself in the 1950s reading this.

    I hope my daughter never ever comes across your articles. She deserves better than this.

    • shirley st. pierre

      Why am I having a hard time believing that you are a father of a daughter? Any father–real man or not–believes his daughter is worthy of being in the company of a gentleman. Period!

      • I'd rather his daughter grow up with a sense of true gender equality, than archaic customs that assign labels like GENTLEMAN or LADY. Our genitals are different, our minds are different, but we can at least treat each other with the SAME respect… RESPECT is what's needed, not a gentleman or a lady.

        • Sounds like you are one of the 1/3, sorry for that.

  • TreatsmyWiferight

    What happened to womens push for equal rights? If you wanted the chivalry of yesterday you shouldnt have pushed to have everything guys got. Some things are meant for guys. Women do not belong in war or any other physically demanding or dangerous job. If you want to be treated like a Lady act like one….

    • SuperBukowski

      Correct. Plus, I was just getting used to her paying for my big steak dinner, drinks and then also screwing my brains out..for FREE! Hahahahaha! Viva Gloria Steinem!

      • Kim

        I thought you said you lived in Asia where these things don't happen..

        • SuperBukowski

          I do. But it wasn't long ago I was letting her wear the pants. If you want to lead…you may lead and I will enjoy the ride and benefits, but don't come whining about it after you got it. Please. But these days I'm leading again, I'm fulfilling my role as a 100% man. I bring in the money, she spends it (more wisely than me mind you) and cooks and organizes our social life and is a 100% woman. The cleaning and clothes and such is done by our maid. On our nights out she is in red lips and heels and when we are hanging around the house she is in red lips and heels and she wouldn't be caught dead in Cros or a sweatshirt or dirty jeans. (insert huge "I'm a the luckiest man in the world" laugh here) Oh and one other thing….I act the role…but she's in charge!

  • Y'all must not live in Texas. We still do all those things. Except the aftershave one; not sure what that is about. Although automatic doors are taking their toll on chivalry. Texas has a lot of faults, but lack of chivalry ain't one of them.

    • Guest

      Actually manners are still alive and well in The South and Texas, and men of all ages even still say "ma'am".

    • fifty-plus

      God bless you southern gentlemen! 😉

    • SophieCat

      I have to say that, as a woman living in Texas, I find that Texas men are some of the most chivalrous, some of the most polite I have ever met.

      I have lived in four other states – California, Florida, Tennessee, and Connecticut.

      And Texas is, by far, one of the more polite states I have ever lived.

      And I hope to never set foot in the state of Tennessee AGAIN. Those damn hillbilly IDIOTS are PSYCHOTIC! Good GOD!

  • Abe

    Men still are chivalrous but where are the women? I don't understand it. Women claim they were being treated badly so along came feminism but they want men to be like the very men they claim were treating them badly.

    If you are never happy then people won't try to make you happy. And contrary to the comment below – men give life too. Ask your mummy and daddy to have that "chat" to you.

    • Kim

      you don't need a man..only a little sperm… 🙂

      • SuperBukowski

        That's perfect. Make the divide wider. Fuel the man hate. Be very Western! It's so helpful!

  • Dimplez

    when a man doesn't at least hold the door for me, well, that is a DEAL-BREAKER!! I feel like if he goes through the door first, then that means he feel like he is more important than me!

    • To what DEAL are you referring? It sounds like you were the one going into a situation with the superiority complex.

    • Michael

      so I take it he should go in thinking you are more important and he is just there to serve you

    • afkbrad

      Dimplez, maybe he IS more important than you. You're not the center of the universe.

    • Maybe he is, fn deal breaker, so stupid,
      Why don't you hold the door for him….you have no respect? or do you just want to trot out your T*** and barter that for so called respect? get a real life and outlook.

  • OaklandHonesty

    People treat you how you teach them to treat you. If you set expectations and live up to theirs, you'll get everything you need, want and more.

  • Bianca

    Hear me out. I'm a woman. I think we have to blame ourselves for some of these things that men don't do anymore. I think it all goes back to feminism and women fighting for equality. Some men have got it in their heads that women today want to do the man's job. Therefore they lack in what they should be doing and women find themselves taking over and becoming the 'man' in the relationship. Just a thought.

    • Superbukowski

      Right. We're equal now right?

    • How many things do men do now that they didn't do before the women's liberation movement? Have women taken for granted that we change diapers now, we babysit, we do laundry, dishes, house cleaning. We don't just come home and sit in our armchairs reading the paper, smoking a pipe, while waiting on our wives to bring us dinner. We make dinner, we run to the store whenever asked, we park the car after dropping you off at the door, the list goes on and on. Do women think we don't enjoy these new things in our lives? We do, it's opened up another side of life that hadn't been fully introduced. However, we get demonized for outwardly expressing interest in these things, and again when we retreat to our caves. Women need to start recognizing the need for equality to run both ways. Open a door for me when my hands are full for once in my life, PLEASE!

  • sunji

    This is how I feel I am not going to take care another grown person we can take care each other. We can take turn paying when we go out. What rule says that if you a man you suppose to pay you all need to stop trying to re enforce that 1950’s mentality to todays generation because its not cool.

    • Ditto

      best comment yet

    • Superbukowski

      Actually is it cool. It's a system that works. It's a traditional system. The reason we are having this discussion at all is because you wanted to be equal and now you got it and want all the rest too. Nope, can't have it. I live in Asia where it's still traditional and we don't have these types of discussions because there is not need. May I buy you a drink?

      • Kim

        "wanted" to be equal. You think you are superior?

        • SuperBukowski

          Wanted to be equal in pay and social status but sadly the man hate brought that into the traditional duties and roles of each gender. Don't you agree?

  • Moe

    Fifty plus , and mydubs I love your responses. Enough said!

    • fifty-plus

      Thank you, Moe 😉 I've said all I'm going to say. Even having a "fair and balanced" approach in this discussion doesn't appear to change the mindsets of those people, who are hellbent on living in a chaotic, neurotic, and psychotic world. When a person's attitude towards civility and/or kindness becomes a "problematic" ..it's time to rest my case. Far too many people these days desire to feed their souls, by engaging in simple acts of kindness whenever opportunity presents itself. It doesn't cost anything to hold the door open for someone–male or female. My husband and I do it all the time. Now and then, I expect my husband to take me out for dinner. After all, I take the time to fix him breakfast, pack his lunches, and make tasty dinners at home. We take good care of each other…and, our living parents, our grown children, neighbors, etc. Okay, enough said, lol….

      • Smmmoke

        "We take good care of each other…"
        That's all any of us should want right?

  • L. Chase

    Yup. Women deserve all of these things, and yup, because we have ovaries. We have the babies, we give life. The laws of nature dictate that the strongest (read manliest) will survive. Other species have deathmatches for the RIGHT to reproduce. As a previous commenter stated, dont let these hoodrats castrate u!! Just because some women have ‘stank’ i-can-do-it-myself mentalities, doesnt mean that as men you cant stand up and be men. And if some women are unreceptive to your chivalrous behavior, keep it moving. Be your own MAN. Only by doing what is right can u achieve righteousness.

    • aWomansDare

      So men should be Men at all times but Women can be Women when it suits them? Please. I am my own man but Women need accountability just as much as men and until then there will continue to be this big disconnect……….why is it so hard for women to value themselves to get this?,,,,,,……. Men want to treat Ladies this way just cant find deserving ladies to do it for,

    • SuperBukowski

      In today American society the majority of women do not want these things. Now you have to earn these things. If you think having two breasts and a mom hole make you special in some way you are deceived.

    • If you want to be like a filthy animal, go live out the rest of your life in the woods. If you choose to partake in human civilization, you will accept complete gender equality. And honey, you can't have babies on your own. Not to mention there's already an overpopulation problem.

      • SuperBukowski

        Gender equality does not mean abandoning traditional roles and values. Seems you have some man hate going on…lemme guess, you're chubby.

        • A guy in NJ

          It means being able to choose the option or not. "Complete gender equality?" Come on. Respect for one another? Maybe that's a better goal. As for the original poster (L. Chase), she deserves no comment.

    • loki

      Women don't deserve all these things, only ladies. Yes we do make a distinction. Comments like this are why the decent guys have married more ladies from other countries They believe in complimentary relationships and not the me me me stuck up princess attitude so prevalent in a lot of American women now. I've dated women from North, Central, and South America. All college educated and self-sufficient, but the most lady-like ones were from south of the border. So don't complain that the we don't hang around you. You want whats best for you so don't be suprised when we do the same. Enjoy being a spinster.

    • Are you from Hawaii or something? The complete misunderstanding of the word righteousness is a tragedy, as the early translations of "doing what is right" became in some juvenile translation "righteousness".

      Be your own Man, be copying these things stated here, c'mon how self serving and idiotic can you be

  • aWomansDare

    on what grounds do most women today deserve to be treated this way, simply because they have ovaries? why would men be chivalrous when their actions aren't indigenous to being a lady? …….these actions correspond with a man's respect for a woman, but if they don't even have respect for themselves then why should we? ,,,,,,,,,,,,, I love women more than they love themselves and it kills me when sisters want to be treated like queens when everything out their mouths and actions say other wise. ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,#act like a lady get treated like one

    • MyHubsDoesThis&More!

      Chivalry is not contingent on womanhood, it's all about manhood. Manhood should come from within. You should wake up with it, and go to bed still being a MAN. Sure some women do not respect themselves, but that is no reason to fall short of your personal manhood. I mean seriously, how well do you have to know a woman to open her door or carry heavy bags??? It is obvious that because of men like you this article was written. Don't let the hood rats castrate you! GEEZ
      And people wonder why the world is messed up. Not enough men stepping up to be men caused women to have this messed up mentality that she must do for herself because of men who are too emotional to be MEN. Switch places and leave all of the emotional mess and talk of ovaries to women, and maybe women will stop strong arming doors, bags, and resturaunt checks like men.

      • aWomansDare

        i think you missed my point. Just because you are a male doesn't mean your are a "MAN" and just because you are a female doesn't make you a "WOMAN"…a lot of times men don't do those things anymore because the females we have done it for either didn't deserve it OR were ungrateful or a combo of the two,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,and as far as your "men caused women" comment,i can easily say men stopped doing stuff for women cuz women stopped valuing themselves enough to deserve it,,,,,,what i look like opening a door for you if i can hit just by sending txt msgs and no conversation,,,,,,ya'll put up with it,,,,,,its the ones who don't who get treated they way they should,,,,,i will tell you what isn't "manly" that we both may agree on, a male (a "straight male" anyway )shouldnt be on here typing on no blog. ,,,, if women valued themselves they would get this treatment, until then keep,,,,and why is a man emotional when he's telling the truth?

        • MyHubsDoesThis&More!

          Ok I guess I see you point better, but iIcan honestly say that although I am currently married i have always valued myself. I carry myself well, but I get door slammed in my face quite often by men lacking manners. Having said that I initally picutred this scenario as you mentioned women not deserving XYZ.,. The things listed above are what any man should do regardless of how messed up a woman is because these things are really petty.

          • Smmmoke

            Welcome to our world honey because I live in the nation's 2nd largest city and I can honestly say that only about 1 out of 10 women will hold the door open for me. I don't think holding the door for someone should be considered chivalry, I just think it's courtesy. Most women feel they don't have to be courteous to men unfortunately and it's sad.

            • I agree, equality runs both ways.

              • Jaykay7

                Equality would be nice if it actually existed. Male, Female…either side wants to dominate, not have equality; the truth of the War between the Sexes.

                • josh

                  Equality does exist, both MALES and FEMALES are equally discriminated against for different reasons. Relationships aren't based on dominance.

                  They're based on comfort, are you comfortable being intimate with this person, do you trust this person enough to keep your secrets, to share your money and sleep next to them?

                  If you feel that you need to be dominant in your relationship, you will NEVER have complete honesty with your mate. BOTH the male and the female need to evaluate each situation on a case by case basis and decide how to deal with conflict in their relationship based on REAL facts.

      • themanliest

        Women don't get to choose the definition of manly. That's for the part of the species with testicles to decide.

        • Josh

          While i partially agree with this statement, it is in nearly as bad a taste as this story. Implying that women don't know enough about men to make some obious assumptions on our mannerisms is naive at best…

      • Bmmg39

        Myhubs, your argument holds weight ONLY if you believe a woman should do all these things for a man, as well.

    • B Henserson

      "on what grounds do most women today deserve to be treated this way, simply because they have ovaries?"

      No, because they have tits!

    • Angiems2008

      Well said.  These ladies need to learn to respect themselves enough to allow a man to respect them.  Some of these women are acting like being respected by a man is a sign of weakness!  Like it makes them unequal because a man wants to respect you?  A real man can understand that a lady is able to take care of herself but still display chivarly as a sign of love and respect.  There is nothing weak in being a real lady.

  • chilly whilly

    so true. Women want men to be men in a 'Manly" way when its convenient for them. they want you to pay for their food but go out their way to let you know they dont need you too,,they want you to treat them like ladies and while they singing songs like "we aint goin steady" by Rocko,,,please

  • Gerald

    This was a terrible write up…Men still do these things. And if yours doesn't, thats on you.

  • Nikkeevvaa

    ***holding the door for a woman***

  • Nikkeevvaa

    As usual there some mentally battered men who feel like hold the door for a woman is ridiculous unless she’s a virgin! Smh.

    Anyway, what about men having a job and doing it well being manly. Eff the aftershave!

    And yes, a man who picks up the check is still essential. How are you gonna take me out, but I’m paying?! When women do things like insist on paying for the check and opening doors for themselves it really waters down the chivalry we ‘expect’. Let men be men!!

    • Vandellish

      "How are you gonna take me out, but I'm paying???"
      Easy. How about I'm NOT taking you out in the beginning. We can agree to meet somewhere and agree to pay for our own meal/drinks or whatever. As I said when folks are first meeting and getting to know each other we (men or women) are not sure if we even know that we like the other person. Most people today suggest that young people should 'get out there' and date as many people as they can. This puts men at a disadvantage if we are expected to pay for ALL dates from the giddyup.
      So yeah I'd say just meet the person and feel them out first. If the date goes well then it's up to whomever to decide if they want to pay or not. If I'm interested in a lady and she only feels that it's worth her time if I'm paying then it shows that she's not interested in me (only a free meal) and in turn my interest shrinks rapidly as well.

      Bonus Point:
      In 2011 men KNOW that taking you ladies out to a nice place isn't all that impressive anyway. Any schmuck with Internet access can Google "Best restaurant in Whatevertown, USA" and find a decent albeit overpriced meal for a night. What's REALLY impressive? How about cook for the lady some dish that's she's never heard of or tasted before paired with a nice wine. You'd save $ compared to a restaurant and send her home with a to-go container…preferably the next morning. 😉

    • Michael

      Chivalry is DEAD women killed it a long time ago

  • Vandellish

    OK a man insisting on picking up the check is an outdated and overrated concept. Make no mistake it's ok to do after you get to know a lady but I wouldn't advise ANY man to try it until he's actually sure that he likes the lady. Being interested in a person and liking them are two different things. Too many women today subconsciously take such a gesture (paying for their meal/night out) as the guy paying for their attention and they usually expect more and more until the guy's checkbook and patience is worn the fk out. Not all women take it that far but enough to be weary of the practice. Save the gifts for when you get to know her a little better and you are quite sure that there is a mutual liking/respect for one another.

    The rest of the list is good.

    • lostagain

      Men used to pick up the check as most women did not have an income.
      I do not disagree with most of the points but if men must compete in the work place on an equal basis then there is a price to be paid. Now to be fair the work place competition is not always fair or equal …. neither is life. Society needs to make room for a little give and take.

  • Despite Pop. Opinion


    I REALLY LOVE THIS COMMENT, esp. the last paragraph. It seems any & everybody can be looked at as a role model these days "if they've made enough money"… The character of the person (male or female) is rarely ever considered.

    Good comment.

  • Native Gear

    Wow. And you're supposedly African, by your name, igbo I suppose? lol That was rude

  • blocparty86

    Reading this makes me sad, I have always had his with the guys I dated and my now husband. I want everyone to have this! Find their special someone, be loved ,and respected.

    • Relictus

      I will never find my "special someone", nor be loved. Respect, that I can get.

    • shirley st. pierre

      You're a SMART woman! You know the difference between responsible men of good character and those who fall short. Women should stop chasing after men, who treat them badly–and visa-verse. The challenge of winning a bad boy/bad girl's affection isn't worth the personal sacrifice and the consequences. Men and women alike should raise their personal standards of good behavior and expect the same of others. It's in our nature to want and need social acceptance. It's time to start shaming/shunning men and women into being kinder people.

  • How is that not True

    So in conclusion MEN will do all that when WOMAN keep their legs CLOSED and not have men from HS, College, Early adult life, after heart break, and after their first kid. That is 5 dudes regardless of how much you go out and drink so just imagine the number of dudes who done smashed. My Xbox has had less players than these woman out here REAL TALK.

    • chilly willy

      couldnt agree more. you see thats why most of these women aren't even responding to you.

      • MyHubsDoesThis&More!

        I think the ignorance of the comment in most cases doesn't warrant a response. Let's look back at this list. So a woman does not deserve for you to move outta your mam's house to better YOURSELF? What are you two still living at home with your mothers, playing X-Box looking for someone to blame?
        Do you not insist on playing the bill because a woman has had one too many sex partners or are you unable to pay?
        You can't hold the door open for a stranger???? SMH
        You wouldn't let your date borrow your jacket to keep warm?
        You would walk alongside a woman who was carrying something heavy and keep it moving?
        You need a woman to help you manage hygiene?
        Put down those X-Box controls and check to see if you two really have nutts. The above list was so asenine real men do those things everyday without one complaint!!
        I just can't….

      • Guest

        Actually I thought no one responding because English isn't this person's first language and no one knows that he's really saying.

  • Pingback: True Manliness vs. False Manliness: How True Are You? « Insanity is Just a State of Mind()

  • somethingdifferent

    i'm in love with the dark-skin chick in the 2nd pic, she is gorgeous!

  • beenana

    I love that pic. Of the obamas. Black love nothin’ like it

    • blocparty86

      Love, nothing like it no matter the race.

    • Really?

      I agree. Indian love, Chinese love- no, they don't really have good strong emotions, and don't even get me started on those emotionally void white people. No, you have to be Black to really experience love. Could you imagine how sad your life would be if you loved someone who wasn't black?

      • Kim

        are you for real? or just not very bright?

  • Despite Pop. Opinion

    As a man, I actually agree with this article. In fact, as I read it, I thought of how thankful & PRIVILEGED I was to have a mother who instilled these qualities (points 2-6) in me as a boy.

    The sad thing is… It seems that more & more women are TURNING DOWN & DECLINING these acts of chivalry. But not only is it chivalry, it's a display of honor & respect and a lot of today's women don't want or appreciate it.

    For example, I often park & ride on public transportation. It's a free service my job provides. It amazes me how often I'll offer to give up my seat to a woman when the need arises & she'll decline ( oddly it's mostly black women who decline). The older generation of women, age 50plus (regardless of race) will still except… But my peer group of mid 30's and younger will prideful decline & stand. And most times, you can tell in some obvious way that these women would prefer to sit… I don't flirt with these women or anything… They just decline for whatever reason… Very puzzling.

    • Candy

      Some women tell me they don't want to 'take anything' from a man they don't know. Others are hung up on shows and magazines telling them they need to not let any man demean them by acting better, as if opening a door makes you better than any one!

      Any of you guys can open a door for me any time you want 😛

    • Sally

      I would decline, too. I want women to have equal rights and that includes tho obligations, so I consider myself equal to men in every situation (except when it´s about physical strenght, but that´s another story).
      So why should I have the privilege to sit? I would feel as if I took something that I am not allowed to take.

      • Candy

        I wouldn't. I give up my seat to older men an women, o women with children, and women wearing high heels. I now that if I was any of those people (especially the woman in heels) that it would make me happy if someone i that for me. But i guess that's just me.

        • My principle is that I’ll give up a seat to anyone who needs it more than me. 

          I don’t know about giving up a seat for someone in heels though, that just doesn’t seem like sick/injured, elderly, pregnant etc.

          • Kaththee

            I am a woman and I would give up my seat to a woman in heels.  I would say, “You sit down.  I have on flats.”  It isn’t that big a deal.  It is all about being kind.   I don’t pass judgment on people before I help them.   Who lives that way?  Besides it is fun to be nice to people.  

        • Aaa

          heels??? if one can’t walk or stand in the damn shoes, then she should wear something else…

      • Josh

        You should be offended at this article then.

        I mean, damn, who do men think they are when they offer to help you with your bags? Am I right, feminists!

      • Jaykay7

        Your pardon, ma'am, but your total lack of trust will forbid you to function with anyone that means well.:(

      • If it’s offered to you, you’re not “taking” anything.  Accept it graciously and move on with your day.  It will make both you and the gentleman feel better.

        • To be fair, if someone offers you something and you accept it of course you’re “taking” it. You’re just not “stealing” it.

          That being said, just walk through the damn door.

    • MsT

      I too take public transportation every day and when a pregnant or elderly woman or a woman with a baby or young child gets on the train, sadly it's almost never a young Black man who is the first to stand and offer her his seat. Kudos to you; you were indeed privileged to have a mother who instilled these qualities in you because it seems these things have been forgotten by or were never taught to many of our young people. I've instilled these values in my sons and every time my 10-year old offers up his seat to an older person or holds a door for a woman (or a man for that matter), I'm filled with pride. It is equally sad if young Black women can't accept a kind gesture without thinking it is motivated by a condescending attitude or ulterior motives. Smh, having good manners shouldn't make a man appear sexist or scuzzy.

    • Kim

      maybe they decline to be kind to you

    • Kindhearted

      I might not accept but sometimes I just like to stand! Plus I always feel bad if I'm perfectly capable of standing. I am always the first to give up my seat and often believe it can go to someone who needs it more. I always appreciate the gesture though!

    • Annie

      I'm British and writing from the UK, so it might be different for me, but as a child I was taught that on public transport you gave up your seat to elderly people, people with heavy bags or young children, and any other person who may struggle to stand. However, I was also taught that able-bodied people would be very offended if you offered your seat to them – that they would think that you were trying to say that they looked old or sick. There was even a children's book written about this. If I see someone who looks like they would like the seat, but would perhaps be offended to be offered it, I would get up from my seat and make my way to the door of the bus/train, as if looking for the stop. Therefore, they can choose to sit or not. If a man gave his seat to me on public transport I would be confused, and likely to say no. And sometimes, as previously said, it is nice to stand!

      As with holding doors open for other people, I really don't think the public transport issue is a question of gender. Likewise, I will offer to help someone with heavy bags etc if they look like they are struggling, and I would accept help from other people (male or female). Sometimes, someone offers to help me with my bags and I say no. I never thought that this was rude – if I didn't need help, why should I accept it? My grandpa always said to me "if someone asks you a question, you should assume that they are fine with hearing the answer." I wouldn't be offended if I offered to help someone and they said no. Sometimes, especially if I am abroad, I feel threatened by people who offer to "help" me, so I say "no". A lot of people I know have been robbed whilst accepting help from strangers abroad.

      I still find it strange that men are expected to pay for dates, but if someone was taking me out for a surprise, and I didn't know where we were going, I would probably assume they would pay. This is because if I was taking someone out for a surprise, I would pay, and I don't think its fair to ask someone to pay if they haven't had a say in the restaurant choice (you may have picked somewhere they can't afford).

      So, all in all, I think politeness is still essential (and still practiced), but I just don't see how it is a question of gender, with the exception that men are more likely to offer to do some things, and women others.

    • Kaththee

      I agree with you completely.   It is just who you are.  When I was in college I took the bus and there were a lot of elderly people on the bus with me.  I always ended up standing because that was the way I was raised.  I didn’t care if they wanted the seat or not.   I wasn’t sitting while my elders stood.  What if someone got on the bus and thought that I hadn’t offered.  

  • Big Mike

    "having" an aftershave scent"

  • Big Mike

    Also, have an aftershave is 'chivalrous"? Who wrote this article?

    5 and 6 are really hard to do for a total stranger – people are crazy these days, and the woman might think you are crazy or has an ulterior motive if you push up on her to keep her warm or try to carry her bags. She would have to sincerely ask me for help first.

    • Guest

      She doesn't mean, for keeping her warm or carrying her bag, doing this to a total stranger. The example picture for keep warm was Obama giving Michele his jacket as they waited to go on at the inaugural ball, so she really means the person you're involved with. If you're out and about and she grows chilly, esp. if she's sleeveless while you're fully clothed, let her wear your nice body-warmed jacket for a few minutes. And it's "helping" her with her bags; it doesn't have to mean carrying as in carrying her groceries out to her car unless the guy works for the supermarket and that's one of his jobs.. As the OPs example indicated, helping a woman put her carry-on in the overhead bin. It's pretty damned hard to lift a 30+ pound carry-on bag into the bin, esp. when the woman isn't even as tall as the bin, so some 6 foot, 190 pound guy is just the thing to give a hand. I'm more than thankful to have one do it for me.

    • Yeah, the aftershave one is insane. “A signature scent is so classic, so cool, so retro! If a man finds the right scent for his pH balance, some power is hormonally released that is absolutely irresistible.” Wait, what? That’s not aftershave, that’s magic.

      I think the only one here that they suggest you should do for strangers is holding doors, although there are situations where you should offer a stranger your coat and more often where you should help a stranger with their bags. If you see someone having trouble, just walk over to them, making sure that they see you coming, smile and offer your assistance. Older people carrying stuff on stairs would particularly appreciate the help. Don’t look and act crazy and people won’t think you’re crazy.

  • Big Mike

    What does living with your mom has to do with chivalry?

    Not condoning, but seeking a correlation.

    • Baby Boomer

      NOT with chivalry, doofus! You are assuming that all the things that we wish men still did had to do with obvious gestures, like opening doors, coming around to your side of the car and opening the door, and helping you out (that is SOO cool!). But not living with your mom isn't like that. What it means is that you are a grown man who, although he loves his mother and always will, and may even call her every day, lives apart. It means that he is ready and open to taking on another woman, a soul mate, if you will. Still living with your mom is like putting up a wall. There's an old song that always ends with the same line, "She's a young girl and cannot leave her mother." Ironically, the song is called "Billy Boy," and the young girl he refers to is a sort of mythical sweetheart whose name he uses when asked why he's not married yet. Now do you get it? On the other hand, the rule doesn't count if a man is Italian. They are the only men who are so secure in their manliness that they not only preen, wear cologne with abandon, and KISS other men profusely upon meeting, but often live with their mothers or sisters until marriage. I've dated one or two, and they somehow combine this with being the world's greatest lovers. No competition. (Notice I didn't say "world's greates f….ers. They know how to set the stage in such a way that you end up THINKING they are.

  • Lauren

    The first one says it all. Move out of their MOTHERS’ houses. Not fathers’, not parents’, but mothers’. Nuff said.

    • SuperBuskowski

      I lived with my parents until I was 25. Both of them were very old and I am glad I had that time with them. I'm less of a man?

      • Kam

        I think Lauren is making a point that the default head of household in the Black community is now just a mother.

        • Kim

          what do you mean "just" ?

          • Because “just” is not enough.  Mothers are great, but it truly takes a responsible mother and father to adequately raise a child.  To say that it doesn’t matter is total garbage…it does matter.  The complete breakdown of the family unit over the last 30 years has led us to the sorry state we’re in as a culture and a society.  Until that changes, things will not improve.

      • I C Wut U Did Thar

        "Baby Boomer". Uh oh, cougar alert. :^D

      • mike

        yes, if you live in the U.S. you would be a loser for staying with your parents that long. I moved out of my parents house at the age of 18yrs old and I did not look back. I love them and see them now and again but dam got to grow up.

        • On the other hand when you were 18, rent for a 1 bedroom apt probably wasn’t $1500. 

        • Bmmg39

          People used to remain in their parents’ house until they got married, and THEN they’d begin a new household of their own, with their spouses.

          • piper

            On farms, they used to live with their parents and grandparents.  Then move up as the next generation came along. You were their social security

  • L-Boogie

    Also, these things are really nice for a man to do. Small gestures go a long way.

  • Stanley

    Believe it or not, men are willing to continue to do these things. But it is at the condition that you'll be doing what our grand'ma used to do as well.

    • L-Boogie

      What is that, Mr. Stanley. Please explain.

      • Josh

        Cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry, being kind, caring and understanding, not whining too much, standing up for principles rather than going with your feelings, having dignity…

        The list can go on and on.

        • Anika

          If all I had to do was open a door for a man and hold his groceries in order to get him to clean, cook, and do laundry, you bet you’d be doing that every day lol. 

          • Marc

            But Anika, you’re ignoring the part about paying all the bills, being primary breadwinner, working long hours at risky jobs, doing most of the driving, etc.  When you include all that, yes, I think it’s a very fair exchange.  If women want men to still insist on paying the check, why shouldn’t we have some things to insist on too?  This double standard hypocrisy is tiring.  Josh is absolutely right.  Either you have your gender roles, or you don’t.  Quit trying to mix it up so gender roles only apply to men.   

            • Anika

              if you’re earning the money, then yea, you could come up with an equitable exchange of money vs housework, but these days many women earn their own way and sometimes more than their bfs. If you don’t like driving maybe just say so lol? women can drive too .. 

              • Thetford

                If you’re out making more money than us, why are we still picking up the check? Men used to pick up the check because we made more and worked more. Feminism and our government has done everything they can to marginalize men.

                • Anika

                  as long as men insist on liking women wearing makeup, stylish clothes and high heels, women  will insist the guys at least pay up a few bucks for a meal. It probably costs you less for a dinner than it does for her wearing all this crap for you. 

                  • Travis

                    You are completely missing the point Anika. Men used to pay for things because they worked and the woman didn’t. Now you want to work and have your own money, but still expect the man to buy you dinner and jewelry. If you really believe in feminism so much, pay for your half of the meal and buy your own jewelry.

                    • Maargen

                      I think you’re missing something here, Travis. Even when woman are working as much, in the same position as men, we’re still earning less over the long run. And those of us who are married don’t stay at home with husbands as the sole breadwinner: we work outside the home and still do more of the work inside the home. So for single women: we’re working as much and earning less – for married women we’re working more period. You guys call that “equality”, and hence gripe about picking up the tab for dinner? Is that really fair?

                    • Solitary Man

                      @0fa70a68c4bb6c27dcd7594a5b68a248:disqus: That’s a falsehood. I’ve worked jobs with women working in the same job position, and they earned the exact same amount as the men. And, believe it or not, they consistently looked for ways to do less of the work. If you think that a woman working in an office for 8 hours a day as a secretary ( a low risk job) should be making the exact same amount of money as a man working on a construction site, or a coal mine, or an oil rig (extremely high risk jobs), then you need to un-warp your mind. If women earn less it’s because they choose low risk jobs that pay less. If they want to earn big bucks then they need to apply for some of the high risk jobs that are mostly done by men.

                    • Data shows that women earn less than me, at the same time data also shows us that women are much less productive than men.

                • slothsftw

                  Yeah giving women the basic human right to equality really marginalising men, if you are so insecure about your manhood that you can’t deal with women having rights, you never that much of a man to begin with.

              • Fernando

                Doing the driving? Did you miss out on the rest of Marc’s post? 

                If Women want greater equality they should be willing to accept it in more areas of life than just the ones that suit them.

    • Kayla

      that's be a lady and kindly accept.

      • Candy

        Agreed! I saw a man hold open a door for a woman, and she cursed him out! Talking about him being sexist. Really?

        • sdguy55

          Yes, that has happened to me… early ’70s was the first occasion.  Snotty “I can do that myself” remark… since then I’ve also gotten dirty looks, and worse smirks… I’ve let that pass since about 2000; not worth the ill feelings.
          It is a shame, but the push for ‘equality’ that many have sought has had negative repercussions..
          While demanding ‘equality’ women still want to have a man pay for dates exclusively.  They still want a man to buy them jewelry (expensive jewelry, mind!) for Valentines day, anniversaries, etc…. do they want to reciprocate?  Not on your life!  “That’s traditional!” they say.  So was keeping women barefoot,  and pregnant.. 

        • Sbwolfe035

          You can still hold the door openfor women in TX ( well most of the time anyhow – I am sure there are a-holes who wouldnt like it).

          • Kaththee

            In most of the south this is still true but even while traveling I have noticed that most men hold the door.   Once a boy in his early teens failed to hold the door for me and his father doubled back to get it.  As he walked away I heard him tell his boy gently and yet firmly,  “Son never drop a door in a woman’s face.”   I seriously doubt that he ever will.   

            • harrykuheim

              Isn’t that Sexist to force a boy to hold a door for a perfectly capable strong Woman?

              • Kaththee

                No one forced the boy to do anything.  His father actually held the door for me.   His father admonished him not to drop the door in my face which is worse than not holding it open.   I don’t do that to anyone, not male, female, young old,  able bodied or not.  If a person is strong enough to open the door at all they should hold it a second longer for someone directly behind them.  For a man to drop it in a woman’s face is especially bad form.   You don’t have to wait to let her pass first but you can at least not drop it on her. 

                • Bmmg39

                  I just don’t think it’s “especially” bad form for a man to neglect to hold the door for a woman. It’s either bad form or it isn’t.

                  Courtesy has no gender. Courtesy > chivalry.

                  • Fernando

                    When confronted with a chance to open a door for women I usually ask myself if I would do the same for a man in the same position.

                    Holding a door is polite, whether the person is a male or female or other. However, I try to avoid opening a door for a woman simply because she is a woman.

          • Marc

            I hold the door open for both men and women.  I offer to pick up the tab *only* because my girlfriend makes alot less than I do, *not* because I’m male and she’s female.  When I’m with someone who earns as much or more than men, she’s going to pay as often as I do, or I have no interest in her.   

        • Bmmg39

          It’s sexist only if the woman DEMANDS that he open it for her because of her gender. What a woman should do in the scenario you outline is to say “thank you” — and THEN hold the NEXT door for HIM.

    • Bonnie

      Absolutely, Stanley, there you have it. Some of us agree and want to go back to that state. Others just want everything we used to have and everything we have now.

    • Kyle

      It's amazing that women wanted to be treated as complete equals in society, except when it's more convenient for them to be "ladylike." I'm all for chivalry, but all these feminists want equality and to be treated the same…until it comes for them to be equal paying the bill, then they run like hell. You can't have it both ways.

      • slothsftw

        You never read a single word a feminist has written have you?
        Basic human rights are not negotiable because SOME women want their partners to pay the bill of a restaurant, you utter moron.

    • Joshua

      I have to agree with what most of the men on here are saying. The world has changed, feminism and equal rights have completely changed the game when it comes to what a man is supposed to do and how to treat a woman. Different women want different things and there is no way a man can know what is truly expected or even desired of him during this period. So lady's I have a suggestion for you, it's simple and quite easy, tell this guy that you're interested in exactly what kind of woman you are and what you would like to see from him. I know that this takes some of the "romance" out of it for you but give us a break, how are we supposed to know otherwise?

      Like some of the comments said a man opens a door for a woman and it's the wrong thing because she's a strong woman who can do it for herself, then that same man doesn't open a door for the next woman and she's disappointed because he didn't, how can a man honestly win? So again please do us the favor and use your words, no signals and hints don't count, to let us know what it is you'd like from us.

      • Doug

        I agree. However just like to state that people (men and women) can simply act together just as friends would do reguardless of gender. I have seen more gals who I have dated that ‘expected’ the guy to pay the bill, end up being materialistic and have an attitude than the gal who acts as an equal and offers to pay half or all herself. These women tend to be less ‘maintenace’ and better “partners” in a relationship than the ones who are out to use others. 

        • Kaththee

          I read once that women are less likely to sleep with a man who splits the bill.  It isn’t that she is resentful, she just starts to view him as a friend rather than a lover. 

          • Bmmg39

            You assume that the man is looking to have sex with his romantic partner. This is false. Not every romantic relationship is sexual.

            …though I should point out to you that there is a word for a woman who won’t have sex unless she is given monetary compensation (including a meal), and it is not a complimentary word. 

            • Michaelbme

              Is the word “Kardashian”? LOL

      • Kaththee

        You are right but most men just hold the door.   I think they do read my body language somehow or maybe it is just because I am living in the south.  I agree that it is confusing.   My husband shook a man’s hand and didn’t offer it to a woman who was present.  He kind of folded his hand in front of him as if it was ready but he waited a second to see if she was going to offer and she didn’t  She was offended and said, “Why didn’t you shake my hand?”  But a woman is supposed to offer her hand first which is a custom that I prefer and many women prefer.  It is a lady’s prerogative to offer her hand or not.    My husband was too polite to even point it out to her but how was he supposed to know?   I think it is fine for a man to decide who he is and go with that by default even if that means he never holds the door for an able bodied woman or that he opens the door for everyone.  

      • harrykuheim

        Just think who was forcing Feminism and Equal Rights on us 30 years ago and how smug and elitist they where.

    • henryknox

      I actually didn’t see anything unusual about the list and I don’t think I know any men that don’t do all these things.  Perhaps it is a regional or generational thing.  All these are natural and were taught to us when we were in grade school.