Working for Something Different: Black Stay at Home Mothers

October 5th, 2011 - By madamenoire

For centuries American black women haven’t had the luxury of staying at home and raising their children. First there was slavery where black women were so preoccupied with raising other people’s children their own often went neglected. Then there was/is institutional racism that almost requires a two person income to support  a family. So we worked.

Then as things began to change and women gained equal footing in educational institutions and in the workplace, black women grinded to make a place for themselves in the corporate world. We worked.

Now that society and opportunities have changed can black women devote their go-get-em attitude to staying home and raising their children?

See how a former journalist-turned stay at home made this transition over at Black Voices.

Would you consider becoming a stay at home if you could afford it financially?

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  • cece

    I have been a stay at home mom for ten years. My husband of 14 years work. Extra money would be nice but my child comes first. Daddy brings home the bacon and mom cooks it and makes sure our daughter stays on the honor roll. Every year. YEA BABY!.

  • Teflon Mom

    It would be nice – but right now it's not a possibility. So often women talk about making the "choice" to stay home or go to work. But really, if you have a choice you're truly privileged. Some women are SAHM because they can't afford daycare. The working moms usually need that additional income even after daycare is paid for. We are in the second boat. By the time we'll be able to afford for me to stay home our twins will be getting ready for pre-school. I'm not that mad about it though – my job contributes towards our girls' college, our retirement and our emergency funds. And in our area, we'll most likely be looking into private schools as well. My mom was a SAHM, and I used to wish that she had a job. Or more friends or something. I wasn't a hellion or anything but she was in my face 25/8 like Mary J Blige, lol.

  • Isis Marceline

    I would love to be a housewife, but our income doesnt allow.

    • ImAtPeace

      Great MONEY advice for anyone who wants to be a stay at home mom. Try living off of one salary for some time before becoming a mom. Save the entire second paycheck. Better yet, try to save some money from the other paycheck, as well. This will give you the 'practice' you need when going from one to two salaries.

      • ImAtPeace

        Correction: from two salaries to one

  • L-Boogie

    A mother's role in a child's life is invaluable. When I am a mother I would stay at home for awhile to ensure that the child or children are on the right track. Plus, homeschooling is really a bonus.

  • What You Say?

    K, why she look like Floyd Mayweather?

  • ImAtPeace

    Right now, I am blessed to be a housewife and in a few months I will be a stay at home mom. I use to be a public school teacher (and hope to teach again once my children are older). Prior to that, I was a daycare worker. Working with children gave me the opportunity to see how many children miss out on so many bonding and family moments. For example, I desparately disapprove of children eating breakfast and dinner in daycare/school b/c both are great times for family to laugh, talk, share stories, etc. Also, many parents/mothers had to choose between work and caring for their sick child. On many occassions mothers sent their sick children to school (flu, chicken pox, and worse)and by doing so those children did not get the comfort they needed. Finally, I believe a mother is her child's first and most trusted teacher, but many of the things that should naturally come from home came from us, workers.

  • Dani

    Don't black women already stay at home as they collect welfare? I am a dark skinned individual stating this yep I said it
    !

  • Ms.Homemaker

    I'm a stay at home mom of a 3yr old w/ heart condition. I work harder now in the home than outside the home. I love it and now I work at home.

  • Brodie

    My mom wanted to be a stay at home mom and my father was cool with the idea. But they wanted to retired early and give us access to as much as possible. Now we're grown and gone and know what they do all day.

    Oh! Eww Gross!

  • CTMom

    i was fortunate enough to be able to stay home for 18 months – that was amazing. I wish we had the funds to continue to do it, I believe with all the changes and support that is now available with home schooling I would definitely stay home again.

  • IllyPhilly

    Yes. It actually was a hard decision for me to make because I wanted my children to see that not all Black women collect welfare and live off men. I feel after tours overseas with the army and the peace corp, I've went above and beyond to show my children that. I'm comfortable now to stay at home.

    • Guest

      If you are married to your children's father you are not 'living off men" Marriage and parenthood is a partnership. We work as a team to make a family work and for the happiness and welfare of everyone in the family. I have been a stay at home mom for 9 years and have loved it. I don't meet many black women who stay at home, but I have many sahm friends. I am attempting to return to the workforce PT and know that I will miss all the time that I ahve spent with my children. I know the reason my children are happy, smart, and well behavedis becasue I raised them. Not some person who cuold care less (daycare providers) or a relative who is too old and tired to rear children (grandmother). I hope my children choose to do the same thing. I often get negativity from others regarding my choice as I left a really great career to me with my children, but my husband and I talked about this decision b/f we even got married. He wanted his wife to raise his kids, not a substitute…how could I argue and it was the 2nd best decision i have ever made…the 1st was marrying my hubby in the 1st place….:)

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