#RelationshipGoals: “Let Me Be Your Man…Again”
My momma once told me, “Don’t rewind and think you can remix.”
“It’s really me,” I responded to Eric’s message.
“I can’t believe this! It’s really you!” Eric wrote back.
After exchanging shock, Eric and I got to the meat of the conversation.
“God must be listening to me,” Eric wrote.
“Why do you say that,” I laughed at the notion of me being the answer to his prayers.
“Over these 10 years, I’ve been thinking about you nonstop, wondering where you were. I thought I would never hear from you again after I messed up back then.”
“We were young. I’m sure we both messed up.”
“Nah, it was me. And I can’t believe you’re right here in my inbox. This is crazy!” Eric said.
Eric and I continued chatting for days on end. Our marathon conversations would run from the moment either of us woke up, until I fell asleep on him at night. Each conversation brought back fond memories of being young lovers–the nonstop giggling, cuddling and sex. The memories made our conversations rich with emotion.
“Yep, here I am,” I said.
Eric was still living back in my college town. He ran his father’s transportation company, often riding senior citizens back and forth to their doctor’s appointments. I found that endearing. In his free time, Eric perfected his meat-smoking techniques, hoping to one day have his own southern-style smokehouse.
“What’s crazy is that I’ve been thinking about moving to New York. Maybe you coming back into my life is a sign,” Eric said one day during one of our regular talks.
Eric was smack dab in the middle of one of my, I’m 30-something and my last situation failed, I don’t feel like meeting anyone new, but I want to be in a relationship phases. So I took his statement with a dash of butterflies and a side of I want to be committed. I swooned.
“Well isn’t that convenient with me living in New York and all,”I said.
“You believe in fate?” Eric asked.
In the (then) current phase I was in, I certainly did. “I do,” I said.
“Me too. I’ve always believed you were my fate Dee. You were so perfect back then and I was scared. I never thought I was going to have another chance to do it right,” Eric said to me.
“Oh, is that what you want?” I asked.
“I’m going to be honest Dee. I want another chance. And I am sure you do too because you found me and we wouldn’t be talking all day and night if you weren’t aiming for that. Tell me you don’t want to try again now that we’re both grown,” Eric said.
I laughed at how forward Eric was being, but I was delighted in how he was ready to dive back in head first. I tried not to sound too excited, knowing deep down it wasn’t the best idea. I silenced my mom’s advice to me when I started dating, “Don’t rewind and think you can remix.”
Eric broke the silence, “Cat got your tongue Dee?”
“No. I am just thinking.”
“And you’re thinking…?”
“I do want to try this again. It would be nice to get to know who you are now and see how our lives could merge,” I said thinking about the bleak potential suitors sniffing around me.
“I know I wasn’t the best boyfriend back in the day, but I am a man now. I’m ready to be the man you need.”
“Big words,” I said.
“Bigger man,” Eric replied. “Let me prove it to you Dee. Let me be your man…again.”
I was ready to see if Eric’s words matched his actions. Our conversations revealed that not much had changed between us. We still shared chemistry, Eric gave me more in conversation and affection (granted because of the long distance, it wasn’t physical) and attention than he ever did when we were 20. I felt like things really were going to work out for us.
“Have you ever been in a long-distance relationship?” Eric asked.
I had. And clearly, it didn’t work out, because here I was, ready for the next (old) thing…Eric. “Yes, I’ve done the long distance thing before. And I’d do it again, but not without us living in the same city eventually,” I admitted.
“Well, that won’t be our issue. If we work out–and I know we will–I’m moving to New York. You ready for that?” Eric asked.
Eric was saying all the right things. “I’m ready,” I said, mostly ready to be in a relationship with Eric for the now and not thinking of how I was actually going to integrate him into my future.
“Your heart is safe with me Dee,” It was almost as if Eric could sense my apprehension. “You don’t have to be afraid to let me hold it again. I promise I won’t mess this up this time.”
Does Eric keep his promise? Find out in next week’s column!