Does His History Matter?

October 3, 2011 ‐ By Erica R. Williams
30 Comments

People can change, right? Is this the motto you live by when dealing with a man who has a not-so-ideal dating history?  While it’s true that people can change, it’s also true that you can tell a lot about a person through their past relationships.

If none of his relationships have lasted over a year, it could suggest he gets bored easily. Will you be that one interesting girl that can hold his attention? Do you even want to take that chance? Most importantly, if every relationship he’s been in has ended in a domestic dispute, chances are he’s initiated at least one and you could potentially be the next victim. A person’s dating history provides us with a glimpse of who a person really is, or at least who they were. Does his history matter to you?

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30 Comments

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  • Reese

    I am not picking a man with a past of being a serial cheater. Or worst who has beats up woman because I am not trying to go to prison because I will probably shoot him dead or have my family go to prison. You know what they say you can take the girl out of Texas, but not Texas out of the girl.

  • i agree with most of this article. But different people bring out different things in you.

  • seek2027

    In my opinion yes it does matter what happened in your partners past not to judge hut to know who you are dealing with and also take the time to find out if this person has changed for the good or they are still full of it

  • CrisME

    I say History is known to repeat itself so decide for yourself what risks yoru willing to take and let it burn. Every situation is different and you might miss out on something good because your scared to take a risk. Nonetheless. remember to not allow yourself to remain in a situation tjat doesn't make you happy. If stay with a person that cheats or beats you, that's your fault now his or hers because a person can only do to you what you allow them to. (Theres always an exception to the rule)

  • L-Boogie

    Know that person's past but embrace their future.

  • sdot

    Maybe you are right, but we have to look at the age too. I know this one guy always said its more diffivult to hold down a man before 25 b/c they want to have their fun.

    If we use our instincts we can run faster than we can walk when we meet the so called guy of our dreams.

  • sdot

    Well this can go for woman too. A handful of my friends have been single for 3 + years and me 7 we are all educated and yes have our ways. So saying that we are single is our fault. You have to do some digging I know for myself I have dated the wrong men i.e men that are still attached to their previous gf's or didnt give enough time for intimacey.

  • being there

    well let's look at chris b i believ men beat other women will do same to u and trust me i have two family member who got with a man and said to me yeh he used to beat his ex baby mama but he is not going to do that to me and it did happend to them but i think a cheater can be reform cuz men mature later then women and as they get older they do change thier ways

    • guest

      They change their ways becuase nature dictates it….no one wants their old azz…certainly not the young girls out there. Plus, they don't have the energy and vigor of youth. Old age forces that, not some ephipahny later in life. If old age and the body breaking down was not an issue, you would still see it happening. Everyone knows an ole playa at the club.

  • Brian K

    With regard to cheating, people don't change unless forced into it, and even then that is rarely long lasting. A man/women who has previously been able to or made the choice to sleep with everything and anything he/she wants is not going to all of a sudden stop doing that for a chick/man for a long period. They may settle down for a few months during that intense first period of a relationship, however not forever especially if the opportunity presents itself. Thats why men stay away from good time girls because we know she won't be there and faithful forever. Women like to give men chances to change which they shouldn't because guys like that most times won't change either.

  • Please excuse my typos in the first sentence as it is still early. It should say, "I don't believe in holding someone's past against them as everyone deserves a chance."

  • Taunya

    You cannot go solely off someone’s past. Take their past into consideration and then you have to decide if you want to take that chance or not. As for saying cheaters always cheat, that is a misconception. I had a man that I cheated on because of the people that he and I both were then. Never happened again. I left him alone and I grew as a person.

  • t

    Kayla, how are we island girls? That’s a bold statement.

  • IllyPhilly

    What was past action? Cuz cheaters always cheat and beaters always beat. people can say what they want, but if he/she didn't try it then why would they try it now?

  • homie

    People can change but you can't change anyone. I happen to
    like someone who is not what I would normally want in a man.
    I just accept what he is and enjoy his personality. When I hear the
    sound of his voice I instantly feel better, but I often wish I didn't
    have feelings for him. My mind and heart constantly fight.

    • Rae

      I feel you on this one solidly!!

  • Kayla

    idk. i mean Chris and rhianna had two both fiery personalities,(you know how them island girls are) that were going at it. If his new gf never brings him to that point. then i'm sure she would be fine. she actually seems to mellow him out. and depending the situation i could never be with someone who has been in too many relationships, that would def bring up red flags with me.

    • Reese

      That statement is insane. Did you see him throw the chair at the woman interviewing him. Alot of women believe he won't hit me because I won't do……………Not true abusers beat women for being five minutes late or not having dinner ready. If it was just Rhinna acting crazy why no other man is beating her up and she has been with many.

  • Cheryl

    Be very careful. I've learned cheaters never change. It's like it's part of his DNA.

    • Truth

      YES, red flags are there to be acknowledge. Mostly woman disregard them and some dumb men(the average looking at least). Do research, take the time to know your date and most important don't give it up after the first few weeks. If you partner wants to be built something serious, he's not going to go anywhere.

    • seek2027

      You are right most cheaters never change that is true

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