When You’re Just Not That Into Him…

September 30th, 2011 - By IndigoBlack

When He Calls, You Don’t Come Running

What I mean by that is, when he calls you or texts you, the conversation is not where you would like for it to be, so you take your time in getting back to him. When you do, your responses are pretty flat and short (“I’m good, u?”), and you don’t feel like trying to talk for long. The minute ish looks dead, you’re phone is in one corner of the room and your in the other watching your favorite show. And if he’s not asking you interesting or fun questions or talking about anything important, the space in between your responses increases from five minutes, to 15 minutes, to 25, and finally…a full day later.

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  • BlackLoveisfading

    Right on RiverCity!! That's why I NEVER been a fan of casual dating because a lot of times a woman knows from jump if see she is going to sleep with u or be with u. I think that is a total waste of a man's time and effort to have him over impress a woman on a date and BAM..she's not into him like that!! The messed up part about it is she KNEW from the start and didn't give that man the option of if he wanted to continue.

    My method is.. Talk on the phone FIRST.. I like to talk and we can nip things in the bud right then and there instead doing that over a worthless date. 2.If she's looking for a "friend" that's cool with me: just so she know all that "hanging out" stuff WON'T be happening either. She wanted a friend: be a true friend and not just a social one!
    A lot of fellas are getting played nowadays when they don't have too. Wise up guys!!

  • rivercity

    It's narcissistic BS like this that has men rejecting any form of chivalry. Here's the reality ladies. You are going to be alone forever if you think like this. There are lots of fish in the sea for men, and frankly anymore, we don't give a sh$t about wining and dining you. Any man who is still paying for your dinner while you muse over your 6th boyfriend of the month is an idiot.

  • chilibean

    a golden winged ship passing my way
    it really didn't have to stop – it just kept on goin'
    –jimi hendrix

  • LANIE

    BE COMPLETELY HONEST STANLEY, BY THE TIME YOU HAVE USED YOUR WEEDING PROCESS AND HAVE NARROWED DOWN TO #1 AND #2 WITH A POSSIBLE #3 YOU HAVE NOW DISCOVERED YOUR "INTO ME ASS" CHICK HAS MAJOR ISSUES AND SHE HAS DISCOVERED YOU HAVE MAJOR ISSUES AND JUST AINT PUTTING UP WITH IT OR YOU………

    • Stanley

      It can happen. When it happens I'll just start the process all over again.

  • Cici & Coco -The Besties

    Lmfaoooo @ missk & ashley. Omg too funny! But it’s true some guys really dont get the hint & find it hard to believe u dont want them. Those types of guys believe every woman is the same smh. & i enjoy my own company as well.

  • Not-A-Fan

    I honestly don't believe in leading folks on either MEAL or NO MEAL……….but some guys just can't believe that you're not interested in them………RICH or BROKE it doesn't matter!

    I had this one guy to keep calling and texting me after I straight out told him that I was in love with another man because we didn't have the same beliefs……and STILL he kept on coming. He stayed strong for 4 YEARS after the fact. It was only about 2 1/2 months ago that he finally understood that what I said was the gospel……SHEESH!!!

    @ Natasha
    I couldn't agree with you more. I enjoy my time alone and I don't feel weird about it AT ALL! Sometimes you discover that you're really not dealing with intelligent people…………when you cut out all of the dumb stuff.

    • Natasha

      Wow. That's delusional. Sorry. :-/

  • Natasha

    Nice article. It made me sad however, because it left out an option that is not much discussed or accepted. Love being alone. I don’t mean becoming a strange, unsocial person. But if you can really enjoy being with yourself, you won’t ever be in a position spending time with someone you’re not into. First, your time will become more valuable to you. Using time you could spend in enjoyment elsewhere will stop you from continuing in an unfulfilling exchange. Second, you’ll become kinder to the other person and let them know straight away. Everyone wants to be liked and ultimately loved for who they are. If that inner guidance tells you its not a fit (instantaneous, no rational decision could change it), learn how to trust that – and kindly release that person. Easier said than done sometimes. But I think it starts with being okay with being alone – for as long as it takes. It is not a popular position to take, but perhaps more rewarding in the long run. Or?

  • Stanley

    "Sometimes a guy you’ve been letting wine and dine you around town a few times just isn’t that deal."
    I have one plan to weed out the less available, less enthusiastic of them. When I'm single, I don't date one woman at a time. I usually ask every single black women that meets my VISUAL criteria (I'm in love with apple bottom) for their number. So from the start more that one woman will be in competition for my time without them knowing it.
    Here's how it goes: I start weeding out women from my first call/conversation on the phone( Who's smart? Who's not?). I continue to weed them out after the first date (Who's interesting? Who's not?). Usually 2 or 3 will make it to a second date. By then the one who gives me more attention will make more chase(Who's into me? Who's not?). I'm a hunter I hunt with strategy (don't be mad by my analogy).
    We're talking about big cities like NY and Miami (where I live). Getting 10-20 phone numbers from single women is a lot easier than making 10-20 male friends to talk about football. And also having 1 to 2 thousand dollars in budget for a few months to pay for dates is a great investment to get the a girlfriend. If you think about it, the money I spend on a date with girl #1, #2, to #X is an investment that allow me to be in love with girl #7 who is the best of them all. So I won't give a woman the opportunity to make me waste precious time and money on her NOT THAT INTO ME ASS.

    • JustAshley

      For the first time, I agree with you 110%.

      • Stanley

        OK! So, you agreed with me 100% before?

        • JustAshley

          More like only 92% before. LOL

    • homie

      Stanley I must agree with you, men don't put all their eggs
      into one basket. Men should be the hunters!!!! I just don't like
      when people play with other's emotions. I'm somewhat blunt
      but at least I'm honest.

  • Kinglsy

    i'd rather you just be up front…i hate when women play games..smh
    …
    Subway giving away $100 giftcards http://goo.gl/pnkjh …4 their 40th anniversary…next 24 hours only ..i been eating free all week..lol

  • JustAshley

    7. You dislike him so much, you have to drink in order to be around him.
    *
    This happened to me. The guy was great at first, but his true personality started to shine through as the relationship went on. I'd be so tense around him, I had to drink just to make it through our date! I just couldn't take the negative energy surrounding him. I have never been so miserable around someone in my life.

  • miss k.

    I meant *their* money…(one of those days)…