In my mind, every tall, Romanesque Italian man is named ANTONIO, and it’s capitalized because I’m yelling it. In bed. With him. My affair with ANTONIO lasts just about as long as my mechanical device does what it does best, then he and I part ways until I conjure him up again.
What’s that you say? Aren’t I married? Yeppers; almost a decade.
And like Crazy Aunt Ethel always said, “I’m married, not blind!”
Thank lawd-geezusin-hebbin I have eyes and an imagination, because in my mind, I have had mad, passionate, angry jungle sex with the following men, not necessarily in order but maybe simultaneously:
- Shemar Moore (back in his Young & The Restless Days)
- Al Pacino (when he played in that movie, Serpico)
- Gerard Butler (because he’s Hot/ugly)
- Leonardo DiCaprio (He’s not one top of the world he on top of…well…nevermind)
- Dwayne Johnson (aka The Rock) (anytime, anywhere…sorry Mrs. Johnson)
- HUGH JACKMAN!!!!!!!!
- *mumbles…michael vick…* shhhhhh
Yeah, I fantasize; so what of it? And before you go throwing The Bible at me, unless someone wants to remove all the testosterone that’s naturally occurring in my body–you know the one that makes you wanna do bad/good thangs–then maybe we’ll talk. (God made hormones, right?) Just think about it. Even with just a smidgen of testosterone swimming around makes your mind wander to The Naughty Place, just think what men–who have the fatherload of testosterone–have to go through just to finish the workday.
In fact, some experts think I’m actually facilitating a continued healthy sex relationship with The Hubster. “It’s human nature to make up stories. Sex is no exception,” explains New York radio host Debbie Mandel, author of Turn On Your Inner Light: Fitness for Body, Mind and Soul. “Fantasies can be healthy and inspiring during sex. Anything that becomes routine, even sex with that same partner you love, can deaden the heart. Let’s say you enjoy a delicious pasta dish: If you eat it every day you will get sick of it. You need a little variety in your menu! In the same way, sexual fantasies can spice up your relationship.” (Originally published in Lifescript, 2007).
So when my dude comes home from work and ANTONIO has again, so agile he is, sneaks from the window, I’m more than ready to do what grown and married folks do. As far as I know, it’s perfectly healthy to have invisible sex with someone other than your partner, unless he is Rush Limbaugh.
We women need to stop being so hung up on certain aspects of our sexuality. Mind sex is safe sex.
So…with no consequences at all, and a healthy exercise for your relationship, who would you boink?
Christelyn D. Karazin is the co-author of Swirling: How to Date, Mate and Relate Mixing Race Culture and Creed (to be released April 2012), and runs a blog, www.beyondblackwhite.com, dedicated to women of color who are interested and or involved in interracial and intercultural relationships. She is also the founder and organizer of “No Wedding, No Womb,” an initiative to find solutions to the 72 percent out-of-wedlock rate in the black community.