Naughty Girl!: Hot Fantasies with Men Who are NOT Your Man.

September 23, 2011  |  

In my mind, every tall, Romanesque Italian man is named ANTONIO, and it’s capitalized because I’m yelling it. In bed. With him.  My affair with ANTONIO lasts just about as long as my mechanical device does what it does best, then he and I part ways until I conjure him up again.

What’s that you say? Aren’t I married? Yeppers; almost a decade.

And like Crazy Aunt Ethel always said, “I’m married, not blind!”

Thank lawd-geezusin-hebbin I have eyes and an imagination, because in my mind, I have had mad, passionate, angry jungle sex with the following men, not necessarily in order but maybe simultaneously:

  • Shemar Moore (back in his Young & The Restless Days)
  • Al Pacino (when he played in that movie, Serpico)
  • Gerard Butler (because he’s Hot/ugly)
  • Leonardo DiCaprio (He’s not one top of the world he on top of…well…nevermind)
  • Dwayne Johnson (aka The Rock)  (anytime, anywhere…sorry Mrs. Johnson)
  • HUGH JACKMAN!!!!!!!!
  • *mumbles…michael vick…* shhhhhh
Yeah, I fantasize; so what of it? And before you go throwing The Bible at me, unless someone wants to remove all the testosterone that’s naturally occurring in my body–you know the one that makes you wanna do bad/good thangs–then maybe we’ll talk.  (God made hormones, right?) Just think about it. Even with just a smidgen of testosterone swimming around makes your mind wander to The Naughty Place, just think what men–who have the fatherload of testosterone–have to go through just to finish the workday.
In fact, some experts think I’m actually facilitating a continued healthy sex relationship with The Hubster.  “It’s human nature to make up stories. Sex is no exception,” explains New York radio host Debbie Mandel, author of Turn On Your Inner Light: Fitness for Body, Mind and Soul.  “Fantasies can be healthy and inspiring during sex. Anything that becomes routine, even sex with that same partner you love, can deaden the heart. Let’s say you enjoy a delicious pasta dish: If you eat it every day you will get sick of it. You need a little variety in your menu! In the same way, sexual fantasies can spice up your relationship.” (Originally published in Lifescript, 2007).
So when my dude comes home from work and ANTONIO has again, so agile he is, sneaks from the window, I’m more than ready to do what grown and married folks do. As far as I know, it’s perfectly healthy to have invisible sex with someone other than your partner, unless he is Rush Limbaugh.
We women need to stop being so hung up on certain aspects of our sexuality. Mind sex is safe sex.
So…with no consequences at all, and a healthy exercise for your relationship, who would you boink?
Christelyn D. Karazin is the co-author of Swirling: How to Date, Mate and Relate Mixing Race Culture and Creed (to be released April 2012), and runs a blog,, dedicated to women of color who are interested and or involved in interracial and intercultural relationships. She is also the founder and organizer of “No Wedding, No Womb,” an initiative to find solutions to the 72 percent out-of-wedlock rate in the black community.


Trending on MadameNoire

View Comments
Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • Lakshmi

    you were stupid.

  • reese

    She shouldn't of told you. But come on I know you have fantasized too about other women. lmao

  • chrissy

    does it have to be a star………..

  • Cici & Coco -The Besties

    Damn i forgot shemar & hugh jackman too LOL

  • Cici & Coco -The Besties

    Tristan wilds, nate parker, wesely jonathan, tank (i love his face especially his eyes so in my mind i sit on it), B.O.B, JOHNNY DEPP, nicholas hoult (from the show skins but UK version he’s HAWT), penn badgley brad pitt (when he was younger..) & this other guy named liam from 90210 & teddy from 90210 as well lol they ALL are FIONEEEEE. *drools*

  • Chris

    Couple weeks ago, a counter part on this website Erica Renee, just got done telling us that women should be dumping their men if they fantasize about other women. Now, here you are, telling is that it is ok and healthy for women to do it.

    Both you and Erica are phukking PIGS.

    • msgonzo10

      You're missing her point – this author is talking more so about pleasuring yourself while thinking about your fantasy lover. That's VERY different from your man OR your woman basically telling you that whenever they're sexing you they're thinking of someone else. I think any man or woman would be offended to be told that whenever their partner is making love to them, they're always thinking about someone else. Apples and Oranges my friend.

      • Stanley

        You're the one who gets it wrong. Have you actually read both articles?

    • Take a Chill Pill

      First of all Chris, like my name says you need to take a chill pill. I don't understand what would make a man respond to a post like this other than pure insecurity…women AND MEN, fantasize about other people ALL the time, some of um even tell each other and make a joke of it. Now, even though I don't dig the way you responded cause I do detect a small hint of bitterness, I gatta say that you are correct… this is a contradiction cause I couldn't imagine the writer saying that it's ok to fantasize but that you should put restrictions on 'when' it happens. Nevertheless, I'm just not convinced that its that serious of an issue because these articles did come from the mind of two separate and I think safe to say different individuals no? Relax my friend.

  • courtneyr

    Just having a bit of fun tonight. Here's my list.

    Henry Simmons
    William Levy,
    Brad Pitt(with the big beard)
    Idris Elba
    Tupac Shakur
    Keston Karter
    Shemar Moore.
    Lamman Rucker

  • Shhhh!

    I'm single so….

    Brian White
    Blair Underwood
    Joan Stuart (dont. judge. the man is funny)
    Rick Gonzalez

  • Doodzy

    Love your articles, but definitely don't agree. 🙂

    • lol

      Yea I agree, some of your stuff I can get down with….but you out of pocket for this one.

      • Take a chill pill

        So you people never ever fantasize about other people…GTFOH. Even on the internet you people still prentending, lol. How these men gone ever learn to understand women if we keep not keeping it real. SMT. You two just set us back a hundred years, lol.

  • wow. thanks for the honesty.