Find Out Why These Black Men Won’t Date Black Women
The narrative of the Black man choosing not to date Black women is not a new one. We hear it, we see it. It’s a thing. Whether the numbers are staggering or not—and they aren’t; the fact that this sentiment exists among our own people is troubling. And y’all know Iyanla is out here trying to heal the community. So, it only makes sense that she and the good people at OWN found some of these men and asked them why?
They found three men, on in his 20’s, 30’s, and 40’s.
Twenty-eight-year-old Bo, a business owner, said his reason for avoiding Black women is that he doesn’t want to deal with their strong personalities. He said, and I quote Black women need to, “You know, stay in a woman’s place.”
But Bo mentioned that his issue with Black women stems from watching his own mother struggle with anger. Still, he commended his mother for making sure she didn’t pass it on to him.
Iyanla said that she took a different approach in raising her son. And intentionally exposed him to the anger so that he could understand and be an asset to a Black woman.
Then 33-year-old Koro said that Black women don’t want him because he’s a God-fearing man, practicing celibacy. He also said that in the church, if you don’t have a collar, the women don’t want to talk to him. That story was so odd, all I could wonder was what church he goes to. Because I know good and well how many church women are also on a celibacy journey trying to achieve their spiritual goals. If Koro had any type of decency, Black women would be about that life.
Then there was Michael, a 46-year-old musician who traveled a lot during his childhood. When he came back to his hometown, he said that the Black women around him said he was different, talked and dressed funny and listened to weird music. He also mentioned that his cousins made fun of him.
That’s quite a few of our life stories. But Michael said that because of these experiences, he enters most interactions with Black women believing that they will find him strange.
Iyanla asked him what it had to do with the man he is today? She told him about her own experiences being bused to a predominately White high school, with people spitting on her and calling her the n-word. She said it doesn’t influence the person she is today.
Watch the conversation between the four of them.
After that the show organized a mixer between these men and some of the Black women Iyanla has been working with and a couple of White women too. See what happened.
Veronica Wells is the culture editor at MadameNoire.com. She is also the author of “Bettah Days.”