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Our third wedding anniversary was a day ago, and prior to it, we completely forgot that it was approaching. It’s not because my husband and I are not happily married, we just have a lot going on. And when I say a lot, I mean a lot. Before getting married, I assumed that forgetting one’s wedding anniversary only happened on television sitcoms, and that it wasn’t a good sign for a marriage. But in the real world, busy people don’t always have the time to keep up with dates on a calendar, even the important ones.
In just three short years of marriage, we’ve moved into a new home and we’re awaiting the arrival of our second child. Our space is adorned with brown moving boxes and/or unpacked household items and we’re busy running behind our first child and preparing for the second. So when it came to our anniversary, it obviously didn’t get top billing as a priority.
But once it crossed my mind that we had nearly forgot, I then found myself wondering just how important it is to actually celebrate a wedding anniversary. Of course, we should acknowledge that special day each year, but do we have to adhere to the traditional anniversary gifts and commemorations? Do we really have to go all out?
Some would say yes. For instance, after realizing that their busy life, which includes three kids, a home renovation, and extended family issues, was becoming a bit too hectic, Shelley Emling of The Huffington Post decided that taking the time out to commemorate her wedding anniversary was essential. “These days I believe celebrating one’s anniversary must never be overlooked,” Emling wrote in the post, “The Importance of Wedding Anniversary Celebrations.” She mentioned that an anniversary celebration allows the couple to relish in the moment that changed their lives forever, while also taking them away from daily responsibilities, if even for a moment.
Even though we’ve both been toiling a lot lately, my husband and I have always managed to make time for ourselves. Keeping our toddler on a strict bedtime of 8 p.m. has allowed us the space and time to hang out without chasing a child and watching kid-friendly television and movies. Unfortunately, I realized that we’ve become complacent in staying in the house and not really thinking about going out unless it’s a major event. Getting takeout from a new restaurant has become the norm and something in which we both look forward to doing. But really, we’re sitting on the couch watching TV, yet again.
Although we initially forgot about our anniversary and didn’t have any remorse about our neglect at the time, we did make sure we went out to dinner while my mother took on babysitting duties. I got a chance to get dolled up (for a pregnant woman that’s always a treat) and enjoyed a night out with the hubby. It really did make all the difference.
While I still don’t think that a married couple has to go big or go home for each anniversary, I do agree that recognizing that special day can be imperative to your marriage. In fact, some experts say that celebrating anniversaries can make your marriage last longer.
Clinical psychologist and founder of eHarmony, Dr. Neil Clark Warren, said to Paper Anniversary that celebrating an anniversary is a chance to make your spouse feel amazing, as well as time for you to express your feelings to your partner. Not only can you reminisce on that special day and the years you’ve spent together, but celebrating anniversaries can also create new memories and traditions.
If you forget about your anniversary, like we did, there’s no reason to overanalyze why and think the worst. Just ensure that you make time for each other, more frequently than on that one day a year, to remember why you fell in love in the first place.
