Little Ways You Rush Relationships Without Realizing It

September 19, 2016  |  
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You don’t think you rush your relationships. You wait X amount of dates to have sex. You’re conscious about not drinking too much on dates, so you don’t overshare information…or, you know, confess your love to someone you just met. In fact, you haven’t even had many relationships, so how could somebody accuse you of rushing them! Well, that thought contradicts itself; your habit to rush relationships could be the very reason you haven’t had too many. It’s time we all accept that rushing things rarely turns out well. The very fact that your instinct is to rush things shows that you are not happy to be single, which means that you are still struggling with insecurities and personal issues. If you’re not willing to take things slowly, then things will almost always end rapidly. But do you know that you rush things?  Here are little ways you rush your relationships without realizing it.

black people do hike

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Bringing him to your special place

No, I don’t mean in your pants. I mean that one spot you like to hike to think, or that one yoga class that is your sanctuary. You think it’s a way for a man to get to know you, but it could be problematic.
Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Why it’s a problem

On a subconscious level, that special place is now tainted with the presence of this person. This place is special to you, and now that you’ve brought this person here, you subconsciously feel that this person is special to you. And, you know you’ve kind of ruined that place for yourself if you break up with this guy, so you force things to go well.
Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Bringing him around your friends

That old concept that if you introduce a man to your friends, then you’re coming out as a couple is dumb and dated. That’s for sure. But there is still some problem with bringing a man around your friends too soon.

Shutterstock

Shutterstock

You feel pressure to make it work

Deep down, you don’t want to be that friend who brings around a new guy every week. You don’t want to worry about your friends worrying about you because you can’t lock someone down. So, you might try to make things work with a man who you don’t like so that you don’t disappoint your friends.
Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Texting every day

It’s just a text, right? It’s not like going on vacation together or moving in together! It’s just characters on a screen!
No Love On Tinder

Shutterstock

Why it’s a problem

Think about it; you text your best friend and maybe your sibling every day because those little texts bring you comfort. Now you’ve welcomed this man you barely know into that comfort fold. You start to depend on those texts to feel like you have companionship and somebody to talk to. All from a man you barely know.
Corbis

Corbis

Oversharing

You probably know it’s not great to overshare too much, but do you know what oversharing is? It’s not as cut and dry as “Don’t talk about that time your ex lit your car on fire.” It extends to telling personal information about any experience that really hurt you or shaped you.
Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Why it’s a problem

Everybody has weaknesses, past traumas, and sad stories. But when you share those very early, you can quickly feel that you’ve given a piece of yourself away to somebody–somebody you barely know. This can create an illusion of a bond that just isn’t there. And trust me; you can still show somebody who you are, without telling them on the first date that your dad had seven mistresses.
Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

You start telling everyone about him

You’ve had two good dates, and now you’re telling everyone how wonderful the guy is. You’re allowed to be excited, right? You’re just talking, after all.
Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Why it’s a problem

Even though you are thinking those great things about a guy, saying them out loud to friends brings your expectations to a new level. Your friends feed into your expectations, too, confirming how perfect this guy sounds for you. You don’t need that kind of pressure after two dates.
Shutterstock

Shutterstock

You turn down other dates

You may believe that you cannot properly get to know one person if you’re also getting to know another person. So, maybe, when you meet a guy you like, you cut ties with all other guys until you no longer like that guy.
Corbis

Corbis

Why it’s a problem

You know, deep down, that the men you’ve turned away are now off the table. You’ve removed all other options–and they were good options!–in the hopes that one works out. One guy, who you barely know…You’re bound to force a relationship then.
Shutterstock

Shutterstock

You cancel on friends for the date

You’ve been out a couple of times with the guy, and when he texts to see if you can hang out Friday, you say yes. Oh, and you cancel the plans you had with friends on Friday.
Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Why it’s a problem

Well, first of all, that’s messed up! But, regarding rushing things, you’re already beginning to isolate yourself with this guy. Your friends are mad at you; that doesn’t feel good, and so you want to make this guy really like you. That way, in your head, you “justify” having cancelled on your friends.
Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Finding a relationship is your main goal

Sure, you have a career you care about, and friends you care about, and that night time art class that you love. But, you talk to your coworkers, friends and art classmates about where/how/when to find a good guy.
Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Why it’s a problem

If you have tunnel vision about finding a relationship, then there is no doubt that you’re rushing relationships when they come about. Anytime you spend a long time waiting for and dwelling on something, you rush things when it comes along. It’s like how you drink your martini in one minute after a long day, you know what I mean?

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