Can Celibacy Make a Relationship Less Complicated?

24 comments
September 19, 2011 ‐ By Toya Sharee


I like to think of myself as a pretty sexually liberated person.  I think prostitution should be legalized, taxed and regulated.  I don’t understand everyone’s problem with polygamy (although I wouldn’t necessarily choose to practice it myself).  I think children should start to learn about human sexuality as soon as they are potty-trained.  Maybe not about actual sexual intercourse, but the proper names for anatomy like “vagina” and “penis” rather than “cookie box” and “pee-pee.”  And my creed on sexual relationships is that as long as the people involved aren’t hurting themselves, other people and aren’t doing anything illegal, well, different strokes for different folks. Pun intended.

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  • Mizzkieshanya

    Celibacy is wonderful. It’s probably one of the best decisions that i’ve ever made in my life. Itsnothing worse than waing up next to someone feeling regretful. I have had my share of bad relationships..realizing that alot of times when you have sex with someone, feelings can come into play prematurely without getting a chance to really know the peson for who they are.. Its important for people to really get to know each other to see if they are compatible. When sex is introduced to soon, it causes a distraction…and sometimes taking the time to get to know a person well goes out the window. Our emotions run away with us. I’m happy about my decision. I’m in a courtship (for the first time) with someone tht respects and moraly supports my decision. If a person really wants to be with you, they will wait.

  • Lscottburton

    I believe that every couple could benefit from this as a type of ‘couple’s fast’. Whatever will enhance a couples’ sexual vibrancy and intimate communion is a valuable investment.

  • FeetheVillain

    Im on a mancation rite now. I FEEL SO GOOD N MY MIND N BODY OH N MY SOUL IS AT EASE

  • DayDream

    I just Blogged about this today. I’m celibate and hating it. But I am trying very very hard to wait on my husband!
    Not-so-Patiently Waiting For His Love

  • http://www.facebook.com/maekela Maekela Delk

     

    For more tips on celibacy, get your copy of The Kama Sutra
    of Celibacy: 101 Ways to be Successfully Celibate @ http://www.amazon.com/Kama-Sutra-Celibacy-Successfully-ebook/dp/B0063ACCJ8/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1320454968&sr=8-2

  • http://www.kamasutraofcelibacy.com clsummers

    Celibacy is about more than just not having sex. It's about learning who are and what you really want out of life. I too believe in being celibate and have created a website and book dedicated to called The Kama Sutra of Celibacy: 101 Ways to be Successfully Celibate. The Kama Sutra of Celibacy is designed to help singles live a successful life of celibacy through practical exercises that addresses the mental, emotional, spiritual and physical aspects of celibacy while providing guidance, encouragement and support. Check us out at http://www.kamasutraofcelibacy.com

    • BRAINLOVER

      I HOPE ALL OF YOU TAKING COOKING CLASSES

  • kitty

    same wit me also…and it also make su a bit picky too when dating..idk about u but i know i am..ive been celibate for almost 3 yrs now and sometimes i feel good but alos i crave the feelin ..and the loneliness kills me..but at the end of the day its wateva..cuz i know i have no drama behind me..

  • Tee

    Ok, so when that struggle kicks in, what do you do? Been thinking of taking this road of celibacy for a while now. I just haven't totally committed yet.

  • Tsk

    @Tai, I totally agree. I don’t see myself gaining anything positive or worthwhile if I have sex. At all. And I don’t pretend to lack hormones either. Just doing it “just cause” or “why not” are unacceptable reasons. And to simply say “just don’t give it up to those that aren’t worth it” ummm.. Do you guys know the lies men tell to get it? Hello? I am not Ms Cleo lol, how could anyone know if your “worthy prince” is just a loser. Not taking any chances. But I am not on any high horse because of my life choices either, nor am I going to calll anyone stupid for not agreeing =3

  • Tai

    I also wonder why is IIIyPhilly so mad? LOL!!!!!!!!! But, I digress….@Tsk continue to do what feels right to you and that is not a pipe dream you have…..that will be reality for you when GOD is ready. I am celibate and have been for almost three years now and I have decided to wait until I meet the ONE that was made for me. I guess I'm a pipe dreamer also and that I don't mind, but wasting anymore off my space, time, love, compaionship, body and so much more is not an option for me!

  • IllyPhilly

    Not mad, but those reasons to be celibate are stupid. Before all the stigmas people, especially women enjoyed sex. Now everybody wants to talk? SPEAK BODY LANGUAGE!! Enjoy your virginity, cuz yes sex is overrated to a certain extent. Still you should try it at least once. Whatever you do and don't do should be good for YOU though. So if you have alot of sex or choose to masturbate or pretend you don't have any sexual feelings and want to talk all the time with your significant other, go for it.

  • IllyPhilly

    CTFU! It is unnatural and being sexually repressed brings so many more problems. Prime example all those child molesting priests.

  • ALM

    Stay strong. :) I'm celibate and happy.

  • Jimmy Swaggered

    Have you people lost your fuccing minds?!?!?

  • L-Boogie

    You are funny but I do not think that was the point of the article. It is not about making somebody do anything. Plain and simple that is CONTROL. Celibacy is about getting to know yourself without every emotion. more correctly libido, CONTROLLING your ability to make decisions in your life or relationships.

  • Toya Sharee

    Most importantly, make sure to have a method of birth control available whether you're having sex twice a day or twice a year. Unfortunately many unplanned pregnancies often occur when people have vowed to remain celibate, but react in the heat of the moment even though they're unprepared. Keep condoms accessible: in the nightstand, your purse or the bathroom just in case. Your moral compass may be conflicted for 5 seconds, but that doesn't mean you have to live with consequences for the rest of your life.

  • http://www.facebook.com/alicia.fort Alicia Sonshine Fort

    I wish I had stuck with my previous commitment to remain abstinent until marriage. I think I had never gotten involved with my "ex" sexually, a lot of the heartache and low self esteem I experienced from the last few years that I spent with him would never have happened. But it's never too late to return to that mindset, and I think celibacy is a great idea. . .

    • Gaylyn

      oops I meant to add with different people

    • http://www.facebook.com/alicia.fort Alicia Sonshine Fort

      Nope you are absolutely right. I used to say I wish I had waited but I don't regret it. Now I wish I just waited completely. But now I think returning to abstinence is the best option and I have completely learned from the experience. . .

  • I just hate sex

    I'm entering year two of my celibacy and I really want to finish out my twenties without sex. The men are not really looking for a relationship and I got tired as using sex as a glue. I just hate sex in general and it's actually proven to weed out the amount of men that are only looking for a good time = Which means I haven't been asked out in over a year.

  • FeelFree

    Been celibate for 6 years- it is hell on earth!!! Joking, it is wonderful, only downside is i am aching for it all the time. But it is a lovely way to be, have no choice but to communicate your hopes, fears, intentions verbally. Think the intimacy is deeper this way. But in this highly sexualized world very few are willing to live like that. I like it though, woudnt have it any other way.

  • sdot

    I think celibacy is a good idea when dating. It gives you time to know the person and see if you can deal with their quirks/ways before the act on its on. Plus you can also see if a guy wants a relationship if you take your time.

  • Blessings!

    Celibacy is wonderful. Its special and not everyone will understand it. Its not just waiting for the sake of waiting. Like the author said, there are so many other departments in our lives that we can focus on that would be neglected if we were concerned about pregnancy scares, if someone is in it for the sex, or trying to keep up with the number of people you've slept with. Peace!

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