Relationship Mess Ups You Should Forgive Your Partner For
Here’s the thing about relationship fights: there are some pretty big ones coming later in life. If you plan on spending your life with somebody, one day the two of you will fight about whether or not to put your car up as collateral so you can get a mortgage, whether or not an old parent should live with you or in a nursing home, and how to raise your children. So you should save your fighting energy for that stuff. You should also consider that, there are a lot of things people do that are irritating, but they’re not really indicators of who they are. They’re momentary lapses of judgment at worst and it’s not worth staying angry over things like that. Here are relationship mess ups you should forgive your partner for.
Being bad to women in the past
Are you proud of the way you handled every single guy you ever dated? Not likely. You can’t judge someone by their past—only by what they’ve learned from it. If your partner understands his mistakes and treats you well, let it go.
Getting ahead in your show
It’s impossible to watch a show together as a couple. When one person has the time to watch it, the other doesn’t, or feels like watching something else. Don’t take it personally if your partner gets ahead of you in a show—it didn’t mean he didn’t want to spend time with you. It just meant he really wanted to know how Bloodline ended.
Spoiling the show
In a weird way, you should be flattered if your partner spoils a show for you. He probably felt like he really experienced something through the show and he wants to share that experience with you.
Forgetting a big event
If he forgets your birthday, by all means, get mad. But if he forgets your anniversary or something along those lines, cut him some slack. We all have a million things to remember. He remembered to call, buy toilet paper, and come home. That says a lot.
Being openly lazy
So he tries to convince you to do his chores one weekend. He’s being a little whiny if you’re being honest. Don’t begrudge him for it, thinking he doesn’t appreciate you. He’s probably just tired as all hell. Haven’t you been there before?
Forgetting to introduce you
When you run into someone you’re really excited to see or someone who you have a lot to tell, it’s easy to become frazzled and forget to introduce the people you’re with. It’s not personal—so don’t take it personally if it happens to you.
Failing to call enough on guy’s weekend
If you trust him, then you should be okay with him not calling for 10 hours on guy’s weekend. Let him relax, forget about clocks and just not think about obligations. It’s what makes a vacation a vacation.
Talking to a woman who likes them
You may find out that another woman likes your partner, and he hasn’t told her to get lost. He doesn’t flirt with her, but he doesn’t shut her down, either. Cut him some slack; he probably doesn’t know how to blow her off without hurting her feelings. He’s sensitive and that’s a good thing.
Not talking to their friends about you enough
You come to realize that his friends didn’t know you had a sister or even what you did for a living. It doesn’t mean your partner doesn’t adore you; it means he doesn’t want to be that guy who dominates the conversation with relationship talk.
Not listening to your work talk enough
If your partner tries to change the subject to something fun and light when you’re venting about work, it probably just means he wants to help you de-stress—not that he doesn’t care about your work.
Trying to fix a fight with sex
If your partner tries to navigate things towards the bedroom when he senses a fight coming on, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t take the issue seriously. It probably just means he wants to feel close to you, and not fight.
Not taking a fight seriously
A lot of guys don’t take fights seriously. It’s a defense mechanism. It’s their way of decelerating things. It doesn’t mean that they don’t understand why you’re mad and aren’t making mental notes on how to fix things.
Being insensitive to your heartbroken friend
Look, your partner is only responsible for your emotions. He has a lot on his plate and so do you. You can’t expect him to drop everything he’s doing because your friend came over after a breakup. If the tables were turned, you wouldn’t do that for one of his friends. He’s there for you, and that’s what matters.
Not noticing your outfit/hair/physical change
No guy notices these things! If you’re going to get mad about this, then you have a lot of anger in your future.
Or saying he doesn’t like a physical change
Then, of course, the one time he does have an opinion on something—like a simple, “I prefer the other dress” — you lose it. Haven’t you been asking him to have an opinion all along?
Forgetting to call before bed
You’ve been there; you were so tired that you couldn’t dial a phone. Or, you were afraid a phone call would wake you up too much and disturb your rest.
Not wanting Facebook photos together
Look: men make fun of other men where their girlfriends post a ton of Facebook photos with them. Just let this slide.
Neglecting his personal health
If you’re worried about the fact that your partner hasn’t been to the doctor in four years, don’t yell at him; tell him you want to keep him around for a long time because you love him.
Putting his life in danger
See above. And say it every time he drives after a few cocktails or wants to cliff jump.
Blurting out personal info when drunk
Are you any good at keeping secrets when you’re three sheets to the wind?