Ways To Get Him To Do Better

August 22, 2016  |  
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Being a superwoman can sometimes be a thankless job: You make breakfast, clean up, and make sure he leaves on time for work and other responsibilities. But if you’ve heard a “Thank you” from your significant other in the past few weeks, maybe you missed it, because you can’t remember when it was said. After a while, being taken for granted works on the most patient woman’s last nerve.

While no one likes feeling underappreciated, it’s not always a sign of a bad partner. Sometimes a good man just needs a little reminder and maybe some encouragement for him to do better. Remembering to value each other sometimes takes work. Put a little effort in now and it can pay itself forward in the (near) future.

Before frustration gets in the way of a good thing, try some of the things on this list. Telling someone about themselves is never a comfortable thing, but trying it this way just might help make things better.

Shutterstock

Shutterstock

“Woosah” for a Minute

Being taken for granted is understandably frustrating. If you can tell he feels like your attempts at a conversation about your concerns are “nagging” (even if it’s because of his behavior), pump the brakes on the conversation for a little bit. But don’t give up on calmly getting your feelings out there.

Corbis Images

Corbis Images

Write Down All of the Things That He Does Do

When you’re upset about a few things that he doesn’t do, it can easily overshadow what he does. Noting this may help to put some of his actions in perspective. And you can lead with the things you appreciate about him before you mention the things you wish he could do better.

Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Get Specific

Men just aren’t as good at reading the message behind your emotions as women are. Swapping “Why are you such a slob?” with “When you don’t rinse off your dishes, I have to spend longer washing them” can get your point across better.

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Say “Thank You”

Whenever he goes out of his way for you, tell him how much you appreciate it. Lead by example and hopefully he will follow suit.

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Don’t Drop Your Standards

Let him know that you know he doesn’t mean to aggravate you by leaving his clothing all over the house and give him a chance to do better. Never stop expecting him to do better and he is likely to rise to the occasion.

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Don’t Do So Much for Him

If cooking his favorite meal after a hard day’s work makes you feel salty (because he doesn’t even ask you if you want something when he brings home fast food), maybe you should slow down on doing it every day. When he asks, simply say that it made you feel bad instead of good. If he wants to be treated well, he’s going to have to learn how to reciprocate and also do special things for you sometimes.

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Tell Him What You Want Him to Do

Sigh whenever you get up to take care of the baby and he might not make the connection. Instead, tell him that you would like him to take over baby duty after a certain time because you really need a break. He might just need you to be direct to actually get the point.

Corbis

Corbis

Ask Him What He’d Like You to Do for Him

It’s an easy way to start a conversation without pointing any fingers. Once he’s said his piece, follow up with some things you would like him to do. Pro tip? Keep the list about as long as his by leading with your priorities.

Corbis Images

Corbis Images

Remind Him

Old habits die hard. If you want him to call you when he gets home the way you do with him, remind him the day before that it would be nice.

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Reward Him

When he does make an effort, even if it’s a half step, get excited and do something he likes. Maybe he will go out of his way to remember to make an effort more often.

Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Let Absence Make the Heart Grow Fonder

Take a vacation with just the girls, get too busy to come to his house and cook — basically, focus on what you like to do. When he misses you, it might remind him that he should appreciate his good thing before it’s gone for good.

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Try One Thing at a Time

If you could spend 20 minutes on a list of things that he does that you don’t love, tackle them one by one. Throwing out all of the things that bother you could be overwhelming for the both of you.

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Know When to Let It Go

The truth? You can’t always change a grown man. Most couples who are committed want to do what they can to stop making their partner unhappy. If he’s unwilling to change even though you’ve been clear about your grievances, you have to decide if the behavior is something you can deal with and move on, or if it’s time for another conversation about your future together.

Corbis

Corbis

Don’t Tell Him You Know Someone Who Can Do Better

Relationship experts say that can put the focus on ending the relationship by finding someone new instead of focusing on fixing it — for you and him. If you’re not ready to go back to the ex who did what he doesn’t (but still couldn’t keep you happy), it’s better not to say such hurtful things.

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