Calm Down: Things That Aren’t Going To Happen If You Never Get Married
Want to hear a serious question someone wise once told me to ask myself? “Are you afraid of not getting married?”
There are lots of great reasons to get married: because you love someone, because you’re ready to explore another phase in your life, and, of course, because you’re ready. There are also lots of bad reasons to do it. And being afraid of what will happen if you don’t is one of them.
When getting married seems to be what’s expected of you, it’s only natural to be a little worried about what might happen if you don’t follow the lead of others. But many single women find out that their fears about the future were nothing to worry about at all (just like some women who do get married find out that some of their hopes for marriage weren’t as easy to make come true either).
Your Children Will Suffer
Whether or not you believe in the the benefits of children living in a single-parent home, you know what’s always worse? Living in a home with two parents who fight all of the time and don’t show you the right way to be treated and to treat your significant other in a relationship.
You Will Never Be Fulfilled
Women who never marry have long-lasting relationships, kids (or wonderful pets), and opportunities to explore themselves and careers that keep them inspired. Why let a piece of paper decide whether or not you’re happy?
Your Clock Will Keep on Ticking
Being a woman in 2016 means you don’t have to put the marriage before the baby carriage (or anywhere in the nursery rhyme for that matter). Ciara found her happily ever after following the birth of her son, and lots of other women have done the same.
You Will Be Lonely
Loneliness can happen to anyone — even a married couple. Focus on filling your life with people who enrich you by being in it and that “l-word” will never be a problem — whether you’re married or not.
Your Family Will Gossip About You
Maybe. But family always has something to say about everything. They still gossip about your married cousin, too. And other people’s opinions are never a good reason to stress yourself about doing anything.
You Will Have Failed
Another great thing about being a woman in 2016? We can be celebrated for being successful at other things that have nothing to do with love. Who defines Oprah or Tyra Banks by their marriage status?
It Will One Day Be Too Late
Janet Jackson didn’t find the right man until 46 and she’s currently pregnant — at 50.
You’ll Never Know Real Happiness
Marriage is great, but it’s hard work with ups and downs just like the rest of life. Happily ever after isn’t fictional, but you can have it whether you’ve divorced three times or you’ve never married. Life is better when you can find joy in every stage rather than waiting for something outside of yourself to finally make you happy.
You’ll Be the Only Single Friend Left
We all go through a stage in life where it feels like everyone is getting married. We also go through a stage in life where it feels like everyone is getting divorced. Don’t rush into anything just because your friends are all married off.
You’ll Miss out on Life
Life is full of experiences. When some people get married (and especially when they have kids), they miss out on a lot because they choose to focus on that priority. Live a life of checking things off of your bucket list, married or not, and you’ll have fewer regrets.
Your Career Success Won’t Be Worth It
No one ever shaded a man for focusing on his career instead of romance. There’s nothing wrong with putting the priorities that are important to you first.
You Will Regret It Later
These celebrities who never tied the knot don’t sound like they regret it.
You Will Be out of the Married Person’s Loop
Every marriage goes through a honeymoon period where a couple’s friends go on the back burner. But that’s only temporary. Soon girls’ day out (and couples’ dates with “his friend who would be perfect for you”) will be back on the schedule.
It Will Be Easier for Him to Leave Because There’s No Ring on It
Many divorced women will tell you: Just because someone finally decides to pop the question doesn’t automatically mean it will work. And married or not, if a guy wants to get up and leave, he will.