Rules Of Casual Dating Nobody Understands
If you’re not a fan of casual dating, it might be because you don’t understand the rules. If you’re not casually dating somebody, certain things are expected. You both assume that you’re dating only each other until you determine whether or not this relationship can go somewhere. You’re emotionally as open as possible to give this thing a chance. Regular dating can be rather lawless, and you like that because it involves less thinking. But casual dating is full of laws. Without them, it wouldn’t be casual. In fact, it would be very messy. The very nature of the word “dating” implies intimacy and some sort of commitment. So to put the word “casual” in front of it is just confusing. A lot of things about casual dating are confusing. Here are 15 casual dating rules that nobody is clear on.
Do you tell them about the others?
Do you tell the person you’re casually dating that you are seeing other people? Or do you just state, “This is only casual” and leave it at that? Are you supposed to hide the fact that you’re seeing other people?
Can you talk to them about the others?
If you agree to be open about the fact that you’re dating other people, can you talk to each other about those people? It seems strange to ask one guy you’re on a date with for advice about another guy.
What if it’s only casual for one person?
If you want to keep things casual, and your date says he’d like to see if things can get serious, are you supposed to cut bait as a courtesy? Or, do you stick around because maybe you could see it getting serious?
What are the rules on sex?
If he’s dating other people, is he having sex with them? Are you having sex with your other people? Should you ask him if they use condoms? Is it safe to go down on him? Aaah!
Can you post photos of them?
Are you allowed to post photos on social media with the guys you’re casual dating? It could give other people in your life the idea that you’re in a serious relationship. It could make the other guys you’re dating jealous.
What if you run into them on a date?
If you run into the guy you’re casually dating out on a date with somebody else, do you approach? If you do, how do you introduce yourself? As the “other woman, he’s casually dating?” That’s awkward.
What if they run into you on a date?
If one guy you’re seeing runs into you out with another guy you’re seeing, how do you introduce the two? If you try to ignore the other guy, he could get mad at you and stop wanting to date you.
Is a trip too much?
Weekend getaways are certainly more fun with sex! But is asking the guy you’re casually dating to travel with you crossing into relationship territory?
Is meeting the friends allowed?
He wants to bring you to a friend’s party where all of his friends will be. How do you handle that situation? If you put in a lot of effort with his friends, it might come off as you trying to get more serious with him. If you are stand off-ish, you’ll seem rude.
Plus one for a wedding—yes or no?
When you bring a plus one to an event, everybody there assumes that you are “coming out” as a couple. But you’re not. So do you bring him? Or just bring a friend?
Can you pick fights?
If the guy you’re casually dating does something that upsets you, do you bring it up? It seems like, if this is meant to be casual, and it becomes at all complicated, you should cut things off, right?
If you just snuggle, is that allowed?
Are you crossing into relationship territory if you only snuggle and don’t have sex? What if he helps you pick out new curtains or takes you to a doctor’s appointment? It’s unclear where the obligations begin and end.
Can you call them when you’re upset?
If you’ve had a terrible day, can you call the guy you’re casually dating? Even if you can, maybe you shouldn’t since, in theory, he won’t be around forever. Do you really want to spill your heart and sole to a transient person in your life?
Is this definitely casual forever?
What if you decide you could see this becoming more serious? Are you allowed to say that, or is that against the rules?
Who is paying for stuff?
It seems like paying for stuff is something a person does for a serious partner. Not to mention, if you’re both casually dating, you’re both spending a lot on dates. How do you split up costs?