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I know you’ve been missing Simon Cowell’s crazy behind these days since he hit the emergency exit button from “American Idol.” But now that he’s coming back with “The X Factor,” premiering next Wednesday on FOX at 8 p.m. (EST), he’s doing press and has some words for prospective folks trying to audition for him in the future, as well as everyday people. There are five songs he does NOT want to hear you sing whether you’re planning to audition for “The X Factor” or you just feel like singing out loud. These five songs can NOT be touched according to Cowell:

  1. R Kelly: “I Believe I Can Fly” 
  2. Etta James: “At Last”
  3. The Righteous Brothers: “Unchained Melody”
  4. Jason Mraz: “I’m Yours”
  5. John Legend: “Ordinary People”

When it comes to songs like “At Last,” Cowell said he’s pretty much “allergic” to that song at this point, and for “Ordinary People”? He says the way people sing it will never be as good as the original. True. And while his picks are definitely songs people who can’t sing really shouldn’t try, there are many others that folks have just worn the hell out that we don’t want to hear again either. We were inspired to put together our own short list of the top five songs people who can’t sing for real shouldn’t try. EVER. Check it:

  1. Whitney Houston’s version of “I Will Always Love You” (do you need an explanation?)
  2. Mariah Carey: “Emotions”/ “Hero” (anything by her actually…)
  3. Alicia Keys: “Fallen” (people doing the intro of this song KILL me)
  4. John Newton: “Amazing Grace” (Got to have your vocals on POINT to jazz this one up)
  5. Judy Garland: “Over the Rainbow” (Too slow, and it doesn’t really compliment your voice)

So there you have it folks. Unless you’re busting out karaoke with friends at an actual lounge, I shouldn’t hear you on trains, on the street, in the shower, on television or anything, singing these songs. They are either untouchable or they’ve just been played out. There are thousands of other songs out there ready and available to rip apart, so you know what to do…

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