Nod, Smile And Politely Ignore: How To Remain Sane During Wedding Planning

July 15, 2016  |  

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I got engaged about four years ago and I still remember all of the emotions after saying yes and showcasing that shiny object on my left hand. Getting engaged to that special someone was one of the most memorable experiences of my life. However, the initial excitement quickly turned to nervousness and stress, and it only took two days for that to happen. That’s what wedding planning, and questions about wedding plans, can do to you.

Stress should not override the joy of planning that special day with your future spouse. But just in case you feel it starting to put a damper on your positivity, keep this advice in mind.

Ignore the noise

After your engagement is announced, your family and friends will be so excited. However, with their excitement comes comments, opinions, and unsolicited advice. Before we confirmed a wedding date, a close family member actually volunteered her availability and what dates worked for her – for our wedding.

Kristin Joy of Bridentity Crisis said that by acknowledging their comments you will make them feel like they’ve helped. “I suggest just playing along,” she told Style Me Pretty. “Give them a line like, ‘Good suggestion, I hadn’t thought of that…’ and swiftly change the subject.”

Or you can take her other piece of advice, one that worked wonders for me, and nod, smile, and politely ignore them.

Set the tone and keep it

You’ve decided on an adult-only reception and that you did not want to include your guest’s latest boo in your expensive steak and wine festivities. I’m sure you’ve articulated these simple instructions on your elegant invitations; yet guests have inquired about these guidelines as if they are an exception.

When approached by a guest, there is no need to explain your decision. And in order to keep the pressure off, you and your fiancé should divide and conquer by contacting the guests who are in your respective families about the necessity of the strict guidelines.

Please note that if you bend on any of the aforementioned rules, you will possibly have other guests questioning you and your spouse and making comments about nepotism.

Be selfish

Many couples lose sight of the meaning of the wedding day, as it’s the beginning of you and your fiancé spending the rest of your lives together. If you do not plan to include guests in your day to day or major decisions made during the course of your marriage, why include them in decisions that need to be made for your special day?

Get and remain on one accord. If you two want to elope, do that. If you want to have a destination wedding but your Aunt Sue is complaining because she can’t afford to fly, send her a video. Be selfish! You don’t want to have regrets about your wedding so spend it how the two of you envision. Trust me, the people who truly love and support you will be there, and everyone else around you will survive.

Stick to a budget

Before anything is discussed, create a budget and remain within those parameters. Staying within a budget means that you can’t invite every sorority sister or neighbor. It means that people might have to pay for liquor and that your reception is two hours shorter that you want. Sure, you will have to pick and choose on which wedding line item gets more financial attention, but in the end, you and your husband-to-be will be happier for it.

Eat whatever you want

That’s not a misprint.

Three weeks before my wedding, I was enjoying a moist cupcake with two-inch high butter cream icing. As I was stuffing my face, a very shocked friend asked me, “You’re eating a cupcake?!” To which I replied, “Yep, and it’s great!”

If your fiancé proposed to you assuming that you would lose 15 to 20 pounds by your wedding day, he’s not the one for you. If you already work out consistently, that’s great, but don’t freak out about fitting into a dress that will be tailored to your body.

With most wedding planning stress coming from outside people, it is best to focus on the two of you and your upcoming nuptials. Wedding planning should be an exciting time for you two so say yes to the dress and no to the stress!

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