Times Men Fail At Being Feminists

July 14, 2016  |  
1 of 15

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Shutterstock

Feminism can be confusing for men. Hey, it can be confusing to everybody. But for centuries men have had misogynistic behaviors hammered into them. And even those who have the best intentions of undoing all of that conditioning can go overboard on their anti-feminist quest — so much so that they end up being equally offensive or chauvinistic. Men mean well when we do these things in the name of feminism, but at the end of the day, they’re still wrong.

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Shutterstock

Criticizing housewives

The problem isn’t that a woman stays home to take care of a home and children while her partner goes to work. The problem is when people say that a woman must do that, even if she doesn’t want to. But if a woman wants to, then criticizing her choice is inherently anti-feminist because again, you’re giving her no choice in the matter.

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Backing down from an argument

Men, when you strike a nerve with a woman, and she starts to argue with you, don’t put your head down, shy away and say, “Okay okay I’m sorry. You’re right” if you don’t think she’s right. To be feminist means to give us a voice in an argument not to stop the argument.
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Shutterstock

Hating other men

It is not feminist to hate men, no matter your gender. So, man-hating-men, stop it; you don’t have to be a martyr for your gender to help ours. Respect women rather than hate men.
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Shutterstock

Enabling irrational meltdowns

Every gender has irrational meltdowns. We all get emotional sometimes! To be feminist does not mean just to take it if your female partner totally loses her sh*t and starts subjecting you to verbal abuse that you don’t deserve. You can still stand up for yourself. Going quiet means you don’t think we are rational enough to be told we’re acting nuts. Going quiet doesn’t give us credit for our ability to self-reflect.
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Image Source: Shutterstock

Only purchasing female-made products

If you only purchase female-made products, then you aren’t buying the product because you respect it or admire it; you’re buying it because a woman makes it. Women want the chance for their products to compete on the market in a fair way against male-made products. We don’t want pity business.

Corbis

Corbis

Never initiating sex

Yes, women are masters of their own bodies, but that doesn’t mean they should have to be complete masters of your sex life in a romantic, consensual relationship. That will just leave your partner feeling like you don’t desire her.
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Source: Shutterstock

Never paying for anything

You should still buy her things, and she should buy you things! The point is that nobody is buying anything because they feel they are supposed to because of any gender-related pressure–it should be out of spontaneity and kindness.
"Crazy man punching air"

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Standing down when a woman is in danger

You know women don’t want you yelling at every other man who attempts to say hi to them. But that doesn’t mean that when another man is a legitimate threat to a woman, you can stand back and do nothing. It is general human decency to help another human being in danger.
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Shutterstock

Staying out of the pregnancy talk

If you believe that it’s her body, so it’s her choice, that doesn’t mean that if your partner becomes pregnant, you should avoid all conversation on the topic. If you really are close and connected to your partner, she probably wants you to talk to her and help her through this choice.
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Image Source: Shutterstock

Making sure she keeps her last name

Some women want to take their partner’s last name! Women can want this for a number of reasons. When you get married, if your wife genuinely wants your last name and you love the idea of her having it, then go for it! You’re not holding back feminism by following your hearts.
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Image Source: Shutterstock

Only taking your daughter to “boy” activities

You may take your daughter to “boy” activities so as to not impose “girl” activities on her. But either way, you are imposing some idea of gender on her. Let her tell you which activities she feels like doing. If it’s ballet, cool. If it’s boxing, cool.
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Shutterstock

Talking to female coworkers like a robot

You’ve been scorned for calling a female coworker, “Sweetheart” or “Hun.” That doesn’t mean you have to stop looking at your female coworkers in the eyes and speaking to them with no emotion in your voice. Please strike some balance between misogynist and robot.
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Image Source: Shutterstock

Encouraging female cat callers

You shouldn’t encourage female cat callers, just like you shouldn’t be a male cat caller. Encouraging female cat-calling doesn’t hinder male cat calling in any way. It just encourages a generally gross behavior to continue.
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Shutterstock

Refusing to propose

The man does not have to propose–that’s true. But you also shouldn’t not propose if you really want to! A proposal is an incredible expression of love and commitment, and every gender deserves to feel that.

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