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Friendship is one of the most important relationships you can have with anyone. As many of us are aware, your friends can be closer to you than your family. Unfortunately, growing apart is something that naturally occurs as you get older, putting a halt to relationships that were, at one point, fruitful. But what about the ones that linger? The friends who don’t seem to have your best interest at heart, but still happen to be around? The friends who only show up when you’ve got the “glo up?” It’s a tough pill to swallow, but those are not your friends. Once you get past the denial, being able to identify them becomes a lot easier in the attempts to rid yourself of bad energy and to protect your space. But if you’re still rocking the rose-colored glasses about that so-called “friend,” here are some surefire ways to tell whether or not they’re riding for you, or against you. Or, as I like to say, to figure out if they are or aren’t “trill.”
They Never Come Through for You
Not saying that you’re needy or anything, but it’s nice to know that you have a group of genuine people in your corner when you need the support. Life is hard on its own, so the last thing you need is someone making promises they can’t keep or an individual leaving you hanging without so much as a word to explain why. People like that aren’t reliable, so be wary of how loosely you throw the word “friend” around in the same sentence with their names.
They’re Incredibly Selfish
One of the keys to any successful relationship is a healthy balance of give and take. And that’s not because you’ve set a high expectation for it, but rather, because as someone you care about and who claims they care about you, it shouldn’t be hard for either of you to do things out of the kindness of your heart for the other person. As Brandy said in “Best Friend,” “I’ve got your back, it’s automatic.” If you find yourself upset and tired of your friend only thinking about themselves and find yourself saying things like, “But I did that for you” often, it’s time to just own up to the fact that they are not a trill, supportive friend.
They Try to One-Up Your Achievements
It’s almost as childish as flat-out saying,”Anything you can do, I can do better.” They can’t allow you be in the spotlight alone without making it known that they’ve done what you’ve done and they’ve done it better. They brag, but you hardly ever see them clapping for you. They ain’t trill.
They Give Gossip Girl a Run for Her Money
We all have that one friend who always seems to have the scoop on someone else’s life. It’s as if they’re the all-knowing Big Brother watching everyone. It’s a proven fact that if they’re not being a trill friend to someone else by gossiping to you, they’re probably not being a trill friend when they’re out gossiping about you as well.
They Drain You of Everything — Including Your Energy
There’s a difference between “the broke friend” and a friend who’s a leech. See, the broke friend never seems to have any money or resources at their disposal, but when they do, they’re generous with what they have. A leech is exactly what it sounds like: They never have anything, and when they do, you’re the furthest thing from their mind. They want your resources, they want you to put them on and help them make a new connection, they want your time and your talents, but not once do they have anything to offer you to reciprocate.
So what do you do about a friend who isn’t a motivator, isn’t a supporter, isn’t reliable, isn’t compassionate, isn’t giving and just ain’t trill? You need to cut it. Trust me when I say that you really don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.
