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(As Told To Lauren R.D. Fox)
My husband doesn’t like to travel with me to the places I want to go. It’s either his location of interest or we stay at home.
Every time I suggest we take a trip, he vetoes the suggestions for locales that I suggest. For example, over the past five months I’ve suggested we plan an end-of-the-year trip to a country in Africa, with Egypt or Kenya being my most recent pitches.
But, as expected, my husband crinkled his nose and told me that he doesn’t feel comfortable traveling to places that have consistent travel advisory warnings. Don’t they all?
“You can look it up and see for yourself, they’re not really safe.”
We both know violence can happen anywhere. So something tells me that my husband just isn’t interested in traveling to the Motherland. I get this idea based on the fact that he always likes to suggest that we travel to European countries instead.
Personally, I am not interested in traveling to Europe again. During my early twenties, I backpacked through a few countries with my friends after college. I checked out all the sights I needed to see and know where the frou-frou bars and lounges are located. I enjoyed my time in places like Italy and France, but I desire to travel elsewhere–specifically to places and spaces in Africa. I just want to see what is out there and be around people who look like me. Learn the culture, embrace it, and experience countries like Kenya or Egypt, South Africa or Ghana, with an open mind.
When I talk to my husband about his consistent disapproval, he accuses me of assuming that he isn’t “in touch” with his Blackness and says that we don’t have to travel there to feel that we are. That assumption isn’t far from the truth. My husband actually studied abroad in London during college and traveled to other European countries during that time, so I don’t understand his hesitancy to branch out. He’s never been to Africa and yet, he perceives the continent through the lenses of a late-night “30 cents a day” infomercial. I’m over the headstrong stance, but if I travel by myself, I know he will have a fit.
Should I give in and travel to Europe for the millionth time or try and go it alone to these countries I really want to see?
