Do You Want Visitors After You’ve Just Delivered Your Baby?
As much as I love the well wishes and eagerness of loved ones to see my baby, a mother needs her rest.
When I gave birth to my son last year, my husband and I had enough distance between us and our parents to get a little bit of breathing room. Don’t get me wrong, we weren’t trying to be antisocial but couldn’t imagine trying to navigate being a parent while entertaining people in our home. Some of my friends want a ton of family and visitors after you deliver around as it helps make the transition easier–while others enjoy the peace and quiet.
We happen to be in the latter category.
Having some time to ourselves really helped us get into our own groove. Instead of immediately relying on an extra pair of hands that would later go away, we were able to create a tag team situation that allowed us to be efficient and get as much sleep as possible.
Our first visitors (my mom and sister) came a month after the arrival of our son. Soon after my father came followed by my husband’s parents. We never gave anyone a specific timeline, but thankfully, everyone came around the time of our son’s first shots. Having family over at different times really opened my eyes to the fact that a newborn will sleep, eat, need a diaper changing and sleep again. There were many nights when folks sat around waiting to get a chance to hold him or change his diaper. Outside of that, we had everything else covered (I was the only one who could feed him).
With a few weeks left in my second pregnancy, I can only hope we have the same luck with visitors, but kinda doubt it considering we now live 10 minutes away from my in-laws and husband’s sister. There are also way more family friends nearby which might signify the need to have a conversation.
It’s not that I’m trying to be rude, but I personally don’t want a ton of people around my child when he first comes out. Not counting the fact we’ll both be tired, he hasn’t developed an immune system and won’t receive his first set of shots to help in that arena until he’s four or six weeks old. All of us have heard horror stories of an infant contracting something (e.g whooping cough or a cold) they weren’t strong enough to battle. Why take the risk, even if it’s small?
Coming by to drop off an item or two (food is always appreciated) is one thing, but sticking around to the point of my husband or I having to entertain someone is a completely different story. I have heard stories of mini family reunions right after someone gave birth which made me wonder how the parents were able to rest with so many people in the house. In some instances, people cooked at their house but didn’t think to do the dishes which created additional work.
Hopefully people will understand and more importantly respect our decision. If not, I guess I can blame my response on hormones. I kid…
Do you want a bunch of visitors after you deliver your baby?