He’s Not Your Type: 8 Kinds of Guys You Should Run From

85 comments
August 30, 2011 ‐ By IndigoBlack

I’m sure in this big world of ours, you encounter many men who try and talk to you. Why? Because you’re fabulous, girl, that’s why! And as nice as it can be to meet and engage in conversation with an interesting man, these days you have to go through your share of hot messes to meet said interesting fellow. I guess that’s what makes dating interesting? (NOT.) But if you encounter these kinds of guys in your everyday movements, no matter how long it has been since you’ve been wooed by a man (aka, you’re at a desperate point), do NOT, entertain them. Just run, preferably in the opposite direction.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/kakrao Kakra Okyere-Twum

    was this article for highschoolers?

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  • EdSj

    Don't do it. It may be new and fun game for you, but We hear that noise every day. It is degrading and ruins our perfectly nice walk to work. Crushes our soul a little bit every time. Ruins our faith in men. You know what it feels like when dudes do that? It feels like someone saying, "I think you are worthless. You are worthless and I'm going to treat you like you are nothing." And when we speak up for ourselves, they'll end that sentence with, "B!tch.."

  • elle

    The Guy That Goes Too Fast. Yep, whirlwind romance dude is almost always a control freak and woman beater. RUN!!!!

  • elle

    Absolutely. My ex said those very same words to me.

  • Zeta98

    This has been very interesting. Honestly, I have dated black, white, and asian men. I realize at the end of the day and man is till going to be a man. Black women need to consider dating out of their race. The doors are opening and we are being left behind. I see this bitter women out here because of a choice someone else has made. Live your life for you. Money does cause problems in relationships but so does cheating.

  • KISSING UP

    All these "bad" eggs undermine relationships. And it sounds like serious undermining. Undermining behaviors like this do anything but build us up and make us feel better and safer. Rather these actions are meant to make us feel as insignificant, jealous and hateful as the perpetrator. You’ve heard of “each one, teach one?” Well, it definitely applies when it comes to sharing pain and negativity. Please believe: underminers build up their own spirit by breaking ours down.

    Read more about it at:
    http://kissingup.wordpress.com/2011/09/10/undermi

  • girliusmaximus

    Lol thanks for the honesty…

  • GWENDOLYN FRATICELLI

    CHECK OUT MY STORY AT FACEBOOK.COM SEARCH GWENDOLYN FRATICELLI …….YOU'LL SEE WHAT I MEAN ABOUT THE "TRUST ME, I WILL NEVER DO ANYTHING TO HURT YOU" STATEMENT

  • Truth

    Truth of the matter is, regardless of a person’s sex, race, or financial status, no one ever wants to date or marry a ni&&er. They are always a last ditch effort when all else fails. That, or a very improper upbringing and lack of education and/or self-respect.

  • Fenrir_Lokison

    Here it goes ladies and gentlemen dating 101 ladies and gents…

    1. Know yourself. What are you willing to put up with? What things are important to you about a partner? What do you wish to bring with dating someone? What do you want to receive? What are you looking for from the experience?
    2. Be honest. If certain things really bothers you when trying to date, don't force it. If you need to change something about your dating approach or relationship goals, talk it out.
    3. The World Has No Clue. Yes there is a lot of good advice out there. But, lets face it, one person can say yes and show you why, and someone can say "no" and show you why. People who write these articles and books and hand out all these helpful tips can only talk from the world they know. The best you can do is give it a try and see if it works for you.
    4. Not All Is As It Seems. Judging is one of the big destroyer of people having successful relationships. Especially judging without facts. All of things in this article is about speculations and "I won't do it, because my poop smells like roses." attitude.
    5. Sometimes The Best Romances Comes From Leaving The List Behind. Don't get me wrong a list (meaning a mental checklist) is awesome to have, but if you see that list is keeping you from possibilities that might have rewards greater than you could imagine, then maybe its time to leave that list for a little while and step outside that tiny box that ultra-few people can fit in.

  • That's Wright

    great responses! couldn't have said it better!

  • Kimberleee

    HOLLERING!!!!! You are a fool!!

  • Sorely Frickey

    Thank God we're no longer ruled by Kings and Queens and that the common person be rule. Know what I means?

  • Dee

    I find if really annoying with the guy that wants to be your friend, because if I told you once I have a boyfriend or I'm in a serious relationship don't try to flirt with me. I have a guy friend that would say, well your boyfriend is oversea he won't know if you cheated on him with me. I told him that I been with my baby for three years and I wouldn't give my relationship up for him. He got mad so I was like so friend…. lol

  • LA Watts

    Ladies, I cannot stress this enough. NEVER TAKE “MAN ADVICE” FROM ANOTHER FEMALE. Find a male relative or close male friend that YOU trust to get your relationship advice from. I’ve seen it too many times turn to failure with women putting their trust in an “expert” who happens to be female. This comment is more speaking to other comments than the article itself, as the article is more common sense than advice.

    • just saying

      and it should be the same for guys…stop taking advice about women from other men cause most of um don't understand women anyway.

  • Zaploob

    this is a stupid article and noone should bother to read it becasue it is dumb and a waste of time!

  • BUBBA

    What about a Topic, 8 kinds of women you should run from. Remember it goes both ways.

  • Scott Chasen

    that pretty much sums up all black guys

  • Peace be with you

    @ Tamar & Two Cents
    I had this discussion with an amazing pastor a few years ago and he echoed your same thoughts. I asked him ‘What should I be looking for in a husband?’ He said ‘love’ was important coupled with similar outlooks in the world including love for and service to God, education (because in his experience he’s mediated many marital conflicts with men feeling insecure at their wife’s educational and/or professional accomplishments). I must point out Matthew 6:33. I agree with most of your sentiments (except for headsmackeroni) if we look to God first we will find our ‘equal’ which may/may not mean a blue collar worker. It may or may not be someone from your own ‘race’/ethnicity and that’s okay too. People are quite sensitive talking about education and class on these posts.

    About Me: I’m a first-generation American (island people) with a graduate degree no children and in a relationship with an educated black naturalized American citizen. I’ve dated blue collar workers and unfortunately my education and income have always been an issue for them and used against me in arguments. I grew up with strong parents who value education and I will instill that in my children as well.

    Note to author: very funny article esp. The Gawker, so true!

    God bless you all.

  • RJD

    Can i ask what the point of this article was? Seems like all common sense issues. Don't date someone with no style, don't date someone who creeps you out, and don't date someone who likes to hook up with random chicks all the time.

    Thanks for wasting our time with this dreck.

    • IndigoBlack

      Not only don't date, but don't talk to them at all! Hence, the part in the title that says "run from." A lot of people seemed to enjoy reading the article and laughing at these kinds of guys because they've experienced them. But to each their own dear, thanks for reading anyway–I know you enjoyed it on the low. ;)

    • Fenrir_Lokison

      I find these articles pathetically funny because, it calls for judging a person and such judgments can be made falsely.

      There are some men and women who are just very affectionate. They hug, cuddle, and even kiss. There are some people who scratch, not because they have an STD or are dirty or lack anything essential to being a good human being or person to get with, some people might have a nervous reaction. Some might have a rash. Some might actually be raised that way. Someone who asks for your phone number or may wish to get your number late at night might be one of those people who are a night owl or who might actually work late at night.

      What does style (whatever that means) have to do with one's ability to love? We ALL have our own love style. Now I understand if someone doesn't want to date someone that may not share a similar style. What if the person actually isn't creepy, but it is the individual that is making them creepy? What do you mean don't date someone who likes to hook up with random chicks? What if that someone is looking to just to do short term or non-committed dating and the women he is dating likes it like that?

  • Kiki23

    This article had me laughing and nodding in agreement at the same time. Quite enjoyable and in some respects, sad. Why do some men believe these techniques will work?

  • SonofBabylon

    The Serial Dater – The guy that thinks that black women are so desperate these days due to the lack of good available black men out there. You know the guy that has a Masters degree and knows he is educated and successful and that most black women will love to have him as a companion. The guy who understands women and reads ebony / cosmopolitan magazines to get ideas about how to impress women and do all the right things. The guy who just read this article and never scratches in public, never smooches to holla, won't be caught dead walking late night hollering anyway. The guy who understands that simple things matter to girls like buying her flowers and sending them to her at work. The guy who won't wait for your call anyway, the guy who dresses like a responsible gentleman and believes Chivalry is alive and well. The same guy dating over 7 women at any given time just because standards have been dropped to an ALL TIME LOW for black men.

    Oh wait, that's me. LMAO

  • SonofBabylon

    I used to be that guy also and please RUN as fast as you can from me..HAhahahha

  • anon

    I agree with alot of Sevens points, but I will say similar VALUES is what was missing from the dialog, not dating for foundation or class, but similar values is what will keep folk on the same page alot of the time.

  • http://www.hotgaylist.com HeadSmackeroni

    "Not only is a man scratching himself down there in public unsanitary, it implies many things: he’s dirty, he’s got an STD, or he just really has no home training."

    I fit all of the above. What prize do I win?

    I got issues, ya'll!

  • Atlwood

    I would suggest that black women date and marry non-black men. It is pretty clear that MOST black men are not worthy of black women. Black men have plenty of options. I have a daughter and I will tell her to date a man who will treat her with respect and dignity.

    • Paul

      I don't know where you live, but here in Austin, TX, ghetto to the max. I wouldn't wish dating the average black woman on my worst enemy. To embrace the ignorance of the "ghetto" lifestyle, and to talk so obnoxiously loud for no apparent reason, are huge turn offs. I can't stand to be embarrassed by a woman, regardless of her beauty, if she thinks it's cute to talk like she never completed the 3rd grade.

  • Enlightened

    I think the last one might be the worst! I think everyone has horror stories similar to this. Mine happened in February where I was on my way home when i politely smiled at a man staring at me and for some reason he took that as a cue to interrogate me about EVERYTHING, from my name to my ethnicity to what I study to where I live to why I was there to my age! Everything! He then asked for my number, blackberry pin Facebook etc. I eventually gave him my email and he proceeded to message me daily saying “send me your number”.. I thought girls were supposed to be the clingy stalker types?

  • Simon

    i don't agree with you on the scratching part down there for guys. When you scratch down there it doesn't mean you are dirty or have an STD. No matter how clean or disease free your body or skin is itchiness does occur due to many othere reason friction included and one can not help it. "If only you were a boy"

    • Nana

      It might not mean the guy is dirty or has an STD, but the act of scratching your privates in public is bad manners.

      • girliusmaximus

        Agreed

  • ann

    hi everyone ,my best friend ,she just has announced her we dding with a mil lionaire young man !she met him via — Afflu~ent Single. c~om – .it is the first and best club for weal ~~~thy people and their admirers to chat online…best place to find local ri ch women and men ,you don’t have to be ri ch there ,but you can meet one there ,maybe you wanna check it out or tell your friends !
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  • homie

    I have a so called friend who I KNOW isn't the man for me, but the sound of his voice
    always comforts me. He's a very good listener and I have cursed him and he
    doesn't get mad. Just wish I could move on…….

  • HeadSmackeroni

    Where do you women get the idea that college fixes character flaws, past issues (which could be jail btw) and everything that could/is wrong with a man? Are you idiots really that delusional? lol

    I have a degree in the engineering field, from MIT, and a family background full of Ivy league grads.
    Does that mean I have no character flaws or issues? Um no, just ask my lovely non-black fiance. Oh and yes I had to point out the fact that she's not black, I guess that means I upgraded aswell, eh?

    Anyways, point is – there are plenty of nut jobs in college, plenty of famed serial killers got into some of the best schools in the US. Not to mention that idiot that defended himself in court, from Harvard, over a murder charge, who lost, LOL. Could I add anymore commas there? LOL

    You have to come from a really crappy family to put so much value into college when the majority of schools in the US aren't even scoring higher than your average state college or High school in S. Korea.

    All college is good for is raising your pay (if you're lucky) once you graduate, and getting you a job (if you're lucky) in whatever field you study in. (which almost never happens.)

  • Teflon Mom

    Anna, you're absolutely hilarious.

  • Mynda

    Hilarious!

  • Mynda

    LOL! I love this, especially the one about the "friend"!

  • http://www.thestateofourunionslcom Lyndon

    Do women really need to be told to stay away from dudes like this? Reading things like this really make me empathize with black women. I know plenty guys that are the opposite of this yet are nowhere close to relationship material.

  • Jabari

    So by using this reasoning, what "class" of woman should a black man look for. The idea of marrying a black man in the same "class" in my opinion is short sighted. You are assuming that marrying someone with the same financial and education level will prevent some of the issues that cause divorce, but that doesn't mean issues of jealousy and finances won't cause problems in your relationship. Perhaps you are choosing insecure men or just getting bad advice, but the same way there is no stigma attached to the many marriages between Men of a higher "class" and women of a lower "class", its too easy to just blame the differences in "class".

    • Two Cents Worth

      @Jabari – Please read my response above to Samuel Blackson.

      • Seven

        Well said!

    • Seven

      On Point!

  • http://www.randomtandem.com RandomTandem

    you are so right about that! Especially the last one! U just take the number to shut them up…then they want u to call them! BIG MISTAKE! this dude called me like 3 times a day. Then reprimanded me for not calling him back and not answering his calls. I told that fool to kick rocks and he still called. I had to practically cuss him out before he left me alone smh Never making THAT mistake again!

  • Cleopatra3456

    @Anna I love it! I’m polite. Its just that my level of polite is Diva! Which translates into B*TCH! If your vernacular consists of hisses, smooches, and calls of the wild I’m liable to call animal control!

  • sdot

    U are wrong!!!!!!! You havent dated a blue collar worker. they will be jealous of you and feel insecure b/c you are constantly grwoing from your profession.

    not all college educated men are teh answer but it is better to date your equal.

    • Two Cents Worth

      (-:

    • http://unemployedblackman.blogspot.com Samuel L. Blackson

      Another obviously stereotype. Do you really believe the majority of blue collar workers are jealousy of your success? I think not. I think you may have an ego that needs constant stroking and when people fail to realize how awesome you are it upsets you. Let me ask you a question, if you are a college educated woman, with a blue collar man, that man does not know what you do at work unless you describe it in great detail, unless its an job where the responsibilities are clear or if he is familar with that industry. Unless your job title is in your name such as teacher, nurse, etc. most likely that man won't know your exact job functions are.

      • Seven

        Thanks for breaking it down Sam, you know how to present good points.

  • SCOTCHY

    madam noire non of you type of guys match the real world , in fact those not reson for one reject a guy , i cant understand waht you are trying to say, the most important thing is to fall in love with someone whom you love and who care for you and prinpled man at least someone who respect GOD RELATIONSHIPS SHOULD BASE GOD HAS ITS MOST COMPONENT PART

    • Jimmy Swaggered

      Huh?

    • pph

      learn how to spell and be coherent please!

    • pph

      also, these guys do exist and you usually find they can not hold down a relationship or are obsessive/possessive

  • Brodie

    Be careful throwing old Emily around. These dudes'll have a coronary trying to wrap their minds around the whole concept.

  • http://twitter.com/RonyDelgarde @RonyDelgarde

    According to the article, Men who are not well educated, don't show good manners are not a perfect match. This is the opinion of the author or her personal experience. I would say that Men who don't occasionally open doors don’t mean they don't have other wonderful characteristics nor interpersonal attributes nor happily married. There are men and women with different preferences and in life and different attitudes and cultures. You just have to open up to the one who is most companionable for you then date him to see how things unfolding then give him a chance. There is no specific method than just follow your heart. Good Luck!!! @RonyDelgarde

  • Brodie

    I don't need a hat tip or the rain coat over a puddle but hold the freakin door open. I'm not even asking for you to open the damn thing but if you're first hold it open. Hell do it for anybody.

    Female Friend Guy:
    I say steer away from guys that have a lot of female friends. Its not because he might screw one, but because he needs to be validated with female attention. These dude put a higher premium on vagina proximty than normal and might be a, pardon my french, an emotional john/trick. Nothing wrong with a home girl or close coworker or two but a high female to male ratio in his friend circle means he craves female flattery over male respect. Words of wisdom from an old man I know personally.

    • From Juneau, Alaska

      From Juneau, Alaska….wish I would have read "Female Friend Guy" many months ago….was dating the same exact as you described….needless to say he ended up two timing me with an ex he swore off in the beginning of our relationship on top of needing all the female interaction and yes alot at his place of work……..

      • Yup…

        sounds like my ex.

  • Cici & Coco -The Besties

    I hate my neighborhood. They all stop talking & stare at me. One of em has been crushing on me for years! He sings to me.. Blows kisses.. Gets in my face -_- hes not ugly.. Hes actually a cutie but lets face it all he does is hang outside.. Hes a pretty bum lol. I came home from grocery shopping & he took my scrubbing bubbles telling me if i dnt tell him my name he wont give it back -.- its been 5yrs youd think he’d give up by now… Oy..

  • Kat

    OMG, lol!!!!!! Yuck at the gawker picture! I hate when men stare, it's rude, don't care if you think I look good, and it doesn't matter if your married! I hate when men begin to sing when I walk by or get loud if they are with their friends a totally stupid attempt to get my attention. So immature!

  • Two Cents Worth

    I can't speak for women of other races, but African American women should definitely date or marry for "class" and not "race." I know that may sound uppity or snooty to some who read this comment, but lets face reality. There are twice as many African American women graduating from colleges and university's than African American men. So that greatly reduces our chances of finding someone we can relate to on many levels: educationally, financially and socially. The reason the divorce rate is so high is because we tend to settle for the blue collar or lesser educated brothers who say they are ok with us being more educated, and we in turn think we are ok with them being less educated and earning less. However in the end, neither one is happy with their situation because of conflicts of not only education, but differences in how to set goals, planning for the future, raising kids, etc. The list is endless and the end result is often not a happy one for both parties. So I say ladies, if you are looking for a Mercedes Benz, don't date a "Hoop-D." Even if you have to go outside of the race to find your equal, then I say we should take the gloves off and date outside our race to find someone in your "class" to have a long lasting relationship that you can build from a solid foundation verses one that is rocky from the start.

    • http://unemployedblackman.blogspot.com Samuel L. Blackson

      Your insistence on "material" worth and "value" is appalling. No one with anything worth having got it easy, if they did not only would they know they could get another, they would know that its not special. The mere fact that you alluded to marriage based on finances proves that a marriage with you would not be worthwhile, because once the funds are gone so are you. The fact that you mentioned that despite being college educated, that a man with a blue collar income would not suffice, have you ever considered that maybe you are materialist? You don't see the picture you are painting, a man is not worthy unless he makes more than you, and I can only assume you feel that way because, if you divorce, you would like to be able to keep a portion of the man's income, am I right?

      • Two Cents Worth

        @Sam Blackson – I must say that I already expected to get these types of responses from African American males because your primary focus is only on one thing that I wrote – "Financial." I believe I mentioned many more aspects to searching for a potential mate who is compatible besides "finances" or material things. But since you decided to go there, it is a fact that over 50% of marriages between men and women (of any race) fail over finances! I would be the first to tell you that "love" should be top of the list, but I can tell you that "love" is just not enough. I don't care how much love there is between two people, they are still getting divorced over the things that I mentioned above that are lacking in the marriage. So let me try this just one more time in a language that perhaps men will understand better: African American women who want to meet someone whom they have more in common with should look for particular traits and characteristics in a man that are compatible and more in line with their own. For example, if you are a strong independent black woman (whether educated or not), you need to make that clear to the potential person you meet. A woman who is strong, confident in herself and independent is not likely to be compatible with a man who is not no matter how much love between them. The man may begin to feel insecure or threatened by her or begin competing with her instead of supporting her out of love. Second example: Most women who graduate from college are able to fully support themselves financially within 1 year after graduating. They are also more likely to become established in their careers much earlier than some men. With that being said, these cause complications between african american males and females. Some issues can be overcome with "love", but a lot of them can't especially if there are already differences between education, upbringing and values, lifestyle and yes "finances." If you can't understand how finances deeply impact the way a person lives their lifestyle, plans their future (marriage, children, etc.) you are not a realist but a dreamer to think that love will overcome all these obstacles. I agree that love should be the best place to start, but please don't let it end there! I wrote the initial paragraph for the benefit of young women this generation who can make changes for the better of our race. I was not particularly interested in what men think, because I already expected the response that I got from you. If you have a daughter who grows up to be a young lady one day, I'm sure you only want the best for her would you not? Would you want your daughter to date or marry some one like yourself?

        • http://unemployedblackman.blogspot.com Samuel L. Blackson

          I have a daughter. She will not have a twisted view on the world where people are valued by their material worth. And you sound like a broken record, this arrogant sense of entitlement, of course I don't expect you to understand. I have YET to date a woman who has earned more than me while I was employed. The false implied notion of black women are now earning more than black men because of educational advancement is a joke, black women as a group do not out earn black men as a group. No women group in America earns more than the male group.That's fact, not opinion. As I stated earlier, this is circular logic in an attempt to shift responsible for failed relationships. Your entire statements are based on the prejudice that African American women are superior to African American men, thus the reason you like so many women suggest to date white men. It has absolutely nothing to do with "unqualified" black men and everything to do with racism. If that was the case, you would simply suggest that these college educated women seek out college educated men regardless of race. And as a college educated man, I can tell you that you would change your tune to fit what ever narrow view you had about the situation. Being that only 27% of the ENTIRE AMERICA POPULATION HAVE COLLEGE DEGREES, the logic of your argument is a failure. How do you suggest that women find their "equal" when the overwhelming majority of the population is not their equal. Again,its simply my opinion, but I believe your opinion like so many others are based in racism. The way I came to this conclusion is that you believe a change in race is a viable solution to a problem that has little to do with race and everything to do with perception. You are even playing from the "black man aint sh!t" handbook with talk of a man feeling insecure because the woman makes more, I have never met a men threaten by a woman's earning potential. And 80% of divorces are filed by women, which means that the women choose to leave the marriage over fiances, the same exact thing you advocating women to get married for. Circular logic indeed.

          • Two Cents Worth

            Thank you Mr. Blackson for being such a worthy opponent in this debate. I can certainly appreciate your view points and even respect where you are coming from. Except for one thing, if you try to put your words into a living reality, it all falls to dust and does not carry much weight in today's time. The reason why 80% of divorces are filed by women is because 80% of men have not evolved to keep up with the changing times and how far women have evolved. You can call me racist, you can call me anything you like Mr. Blackson. Name calling is usually what happens when you are losing an argument (smile). But I will continue to call you Mr. Blackson, and tell you in all truth that I think quite highly of african american men. My father is african american and so is my handsome son and I have great respect for both of them. So I am the last person on this earth to dislike african american men. I only mentioned that women find love, happiness and peace while they are on this earth. If it happens to be with a black man, then so much the better. But they should not limit themselves to seeing the same positive attributes of men of other races as well if they have not been fortunate to find a good black man. Like my mother always told me: There is good and bad in every race and every one should be put on an even playing field. I judge everyone I meet by their words and deeds and nothing else. You should try doing the same Mr. Blackson. You do not know me, yet you profess to name me other than the name I was born with. I stand by my words no matter what you call me and will continue to express my thoughts to perhaps reach those that may best benefit from it.

            • HeadSmackeroni

              Aw the bitter single baby momma case, I guess that sums you up.
              Thanks for letting that be known, can't wait for your son to grow up and upgrade to a beautiful white queen.

            • Teflon Mom

              *went back and read Sam Blackson's entire comment to see if I missed some name calling.* …..nope, he didn't name call.

              I think that in some ways, you are saying the same thing but calling it by different names. You say it's class. Some of us (myself included) call it values. "Class" and "values" are not synonyms. I support Black people getting their education, but I think that you fail to realize that education exists in many forms outside of bachelors, masters, JD, MBA, etc. And if nothing else this economy has taught us that success can be fleeting. A man with solid financial planning strategy will win over a man who makes a lot of money but also spends a lot of money. That's what I think is missing here. Other than that, I agree with you that a woman (of any race) should find love with a man whose values match hers and who is committed to her (of any race).

              • Seven

                See Teflon Mom you know how to break it down, well said. That's what I was saying when I replied to my two cents….She doesn't understand in her first comment about class, if that wasn't what she was trying to convery she shouldn't have used the word "class" you explained it well.

              • Jimmy Swaggered

                …and this started out as such a "classy" discussion…

            • http://twitter.com/xTinaChrisx @xTinaChrisx

              Well said!!

        • supersha

          apparently you never took any phyc classes

      • L-Boogie

        Good points, Mr. Blackson.

      • Brodie

        It's not materialist if she has set standard based on what she wants for a quality of life. Speaking as a child from a well to do family, it's not just about the things that money can buy but the opportunities and experiences that it gives you and your kids access to. I don't know why wanting the best life for yourself and offspring is only an issue when it comes to black folks wanting it. These kids need all the culture, education, and exposure we can give them, as parents, and that takes m-o-n-e-y Mr Blackson.

        I don't pay too much attention to statistics because we'd be taking credit for the black immigrant achievement so I don't go there. But you get the gist.

    • Tamar

      @ Two Cents Worth I understand what you are saying. Two people should be evenly yoked and it has caused problems in some marriages where people arent evenly yoked. I dont think that your being materialistic but realistic. There is nothing wrong to want someone who is "on your level" so to speak. Some black men always get mad when you expect them come to the table being more than a thug or rapper because they dont want to work hard at anything. Oh well, this is why I pay them no mind.

    • TAMARA

      As a professional African American single woman I do truly believe this statement is true and fact. I have tried the dating a "HOOP D" thing it does not work at all. There are way too many conflicts and hurdles unwarranted for example take a "HOOP D" to a professional party he will eventually make you look less than what you've worked and earned.

    • girliusmaximus

      To which I say having a college degree does not make you educated. It means you have a college degree. And there are those who make a little money go a long way as opposed to those who spend a lot on nothing at all. Values, priorites, and common goals don't necessarily come from traveling the same path. There are a lot of "educated fools" in college right now. Remember George W. Bush has a college degree….

    • Reese

      Who they are more likely to date doesn't mean anything is statistics of this size. And there are alot of black women dating all kinds of men of all races. And you don't know that black men aren't white woman's first choice. They are more with hispanics, but does that mean that they don't date black men or anything else. Black men are not Asians women's first choice either that being white men and same with hispanics.
      So what does that mean?

    • Reese

      Stereotype. Tamar girl all black men aren't packing either. I am telling you what I know, not heard.

    • http://www.theyoungsensei.com Shihan

      I can't begin to tell you how ignorant you sound. The divorce rates are not high because "black women" settle. Divorce rates are high because people lie. All your so-called education and you still can't satisfy or keep a man happy. The educational system in this society "USA" is based in white supremacy and black inferiority. Of course, you being so indoctrinated and ingrained in it you are a part of this social system which designed by white people which has turned toward elevating the black woman and subjugating the black man. Your tone is the tone of one who is in fact lost to the "Matrix". You are far too materialist to even make your (white) man of choice happy. You're not "uppity" or "snooty", you're just an agent of the system. Lastly, the main problem with your thinking and women who think as you do… you are constantly trying to equalize yourself with a creation that is absolutely and emphatically above you. Men were not created to be the equal of women. Our natures are different and designed to compliment each other. You will never be successful in a relationship with any man, clearly not a black man or any race of man as long as you resist the two natures… A hint to the wise is sufficient.

    • Paul

      Your "Two Cents Worth" sounds like 1/2 a cent. If your primary concerns are socio-economic status, and education, why would you even expect to be happy in a relationship? This marks you as a high maintenance woman, who cares most about bank accounts. Yes goals, and family planning can differ with levels of education, but that's not a given. An intelligent man (educated or not), should run the other way screaming. Also speaking as a man "from outside your race", this shallow, gold-digging attitude is a major contributor to the fact that inter-racial coupling will be difficult for you. As well as other ebony females that share your attitude. I keep up with these blogs just to see what I'm NOT missing out on. But also to see if there might be a possibility that I could find a low key, intelligent, ebony woman, that is not just looking out for themselves

    • Rachel

      She said date interracially she did not say white men exclusively, neither did she mean only American.

      Furthermore, you must get off coming on a website primarily for black women.

      Clearly you are attracted to us. Or sexually excited reading material meant to be consumed by an African American audience or people who are connected to an African American audience. Looking at those beautiful black women's faces on those pictures must be tearing you apart on the inside, because not one of those faces looks your way. If it angers you that interracial dating might leave you with no black women then just say that. One day you too can find love.

  • seek2027

    The guy who wants to be your friend so bad that one was funny a lot of females had told me about these type of guys. They would try to get at Ol girl and when she says that she has a man already the next thing that come out his mouth (well we can be friends or Cool) what a loser for the people who use those lines if you just want to get some then just say that from the gate you never know that girl might just be down

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