My Husband Cheated: Reactions You Shouldn’t Have After Uncovering Infidelity

August 22nd, 2011 - By Victoria Uwumarogie

I’m sure you’ve heard many women talk about how they could never forgive a man for cheating on them and how the transgression is the ultimate no-no when it comes to what a woman should and shouldn’t stand for. That’s easy to stand by when you’ve just been dating a guy, but what about when you’re married?

Lisa Penn over at YourTango, a wife whose husband cheated in the past, says that while your emotions might be in a flurry, it’s imperative you don’t make any big, brash decisions so soon. From the kids you have, to the positive aspects of your relationship, there’s a lot to think about before you make the next big step.

To read the full list of don’ts and to get advice on how to move forward after such devastating news, go to YourTango.com.

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  • Stop and Think

    There are an amazing amount of people here blaming the man 100%. Stop and think about your behavior and what has gone wrong with BOTH partners for cheating to have happened. If it truly is a scoundrel chasing tail then leave the man after careful consideration. But if there is something broken in the marriage stay to try and fix it. If you can’t get past it after professional or church counseling then leave. In an honest to goodness partnership there is often a reason things went wrong and this could have been a wake up call on how to recommit to each other.

  • Despite Pop. Opinion

    YOU EVIL LIL STINKER, LOL!!!!

    What did us loving, faithful men ever do to you?!?!?!?!?!?

  • dw

    And thank you so much to “blacknproud” for translating the ebonics for us…..its about time you nigs spell it out in english for us.

  • Robert

    And you are Miss Perfection, right? If you (or a woman, I don't mean to pick on you personally), don't give a man what he needs, are emotionally cold or physically unavailable, then you have to understand that there are consequences to this type of behavior. That said, see my post below…but you have no right to judge someone unless you are prefect yourself…

  • BlackNProud

    @Schmeggy Moolie … Then get yo' tired arse off of the "spook's" page and outta our flippin conversation… aka get your own life instead of critiquing others' lives.

  • ana

    2 wrongs don't make a right

    if one partner isn't fulfilling their responsibilities towards making the relationship work
    how is the other partner cheating anything less than the same thing?
    cheating isn't working through the problems, it isn't fulfilling responsibilities it is shirking responsibilities and creating problems.
    while that person was cultivating a physical and/or emotional relationship with the outside person that energy could have gone into working on the relationship with the person they claim to love and feel horrible about hurting.

    it is a self indulgent compromise that benefits benefits no one but them
    if you can't grow a pair/woman up and realize your only real mature options are to continue trying to make the relationship work or officially exit it you don't deserve a relationship and won't be able to make one work

  • guest

    a man will respect you more and even love you more if you show you butt and let him know that you are not putting up with it. I mean, women, you have to be hard on your man when it comes to cheating. I promise you he will respect you for it. He may complain, but he isn't going anywhere

  • AishaSaidIt

    This one is for the actual married people….
    A solid marriage is not necessarily an untested one, be it infidelity, financial issues, depression, etc…. There is no ultimate situation that you both can’t get through if you both or willing to try. It is totally your decision and no one else’s outside the marriage on what you are willing to fight threw. My suggestion is to keep your business out of the streets, and honestly ask yourself if your marriage is worth the fight. Your marriage is yours to keep or throw away.

    • us-

      amen!

  • Kevin

    Wow!!! There are so many things that go into a marriage, it is hard work and you have to be willing to work to make it work. First of all, you have to work on one another, getting to know one another, loving one another, and most important to respect one another. Most of us are lusting at that point and fail to see the signs that are telling us who this person really is. While lusting, you tend to either overlook them or ignore them with the hope that you'll change it. HAH!!! it is not happening. That person has to want to change that behavior that is not healthy for the relationship. Most people today are of the pamper generation, what I mean by this is that once the diaper is soiled, they throw it away and get a new one. Me, I'm of the diaper generation. If the diaper gets soiled I clean it and re-use it. The things that have come up in our marriage has made us stronger because we worked it out TOGETHER. We know what each one of us brings to the table and we appreciate one another. We love the looks we get from people when we tell them we got married at 21 and 19 years of age respectfully. So no matter what situation comes up, fight for one another and ALWAYS respect one another.

  • Valencia

    The Lord does not like Divorces, however the Devil hates marriages.. Although you are angry, I was thought that the Lord can handle your spouse better than you can. BUT I do not know what will happen if my husband was cheating, but we have to be reminded that the Lord will have our back. God bless you all, and remember no one is perfect.

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