Things you should never apologize for

August 21st, 2011 - By Rashana A. Hooks

Saying sorry is act of kindness that shows yours deepest regret for a transgression or a mistake you’ve made.  When used in the right context it can make a huge difference in how you feel and how a person feels about you. By showing pity, it communicates to others that you want to right your wrong.

However there are some things that don’t need to be apologized for. In some instances you have a right to feel or do certain things without feeling obligated to sorry just to appease another person. As women, we have a bad habit of feeling guilty fairly quickly, which in turn makes our usage of “sorry” way to frequent.

Here are few things you should never have to apologize for:

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  • http://PathOfTheBeagle.com The Beagle

    Here's one more that I see women apologizing for all the time: their children.

    Example: I'm walking down the aisle in the grocery store and a four-year-old is in my way. Her mother will say, "Sorry" and tell her kid to get out of the way. I want to say to her, "Woman, this child is the future of our planet! You do NOT need to apologize for her being in this aisle or for being anywhere else!"

    • Kim

      i’m sorry i cannot agree with this one.  if ur kids are in someone’s way there is nothing wrong with offering an i’m sorry and then getting him/her out of the way as quickly as possible.  there is nothing worse than trying to maneuver a cart thru an already narrow grocery store aisle and also have to deal with someone’s brat being all in the way. secretly i would love to bash them with the cart one good time.  might teach them to move the next time they see another person coming.  ur decision to procreate shouldn’t infringe on anyone else.

  • Annie

    On the topic of different skin colors…

    I'm a sculptor of original dolls. I love the symphony (that the good Lord created) and love all the different skin tones. The world would be so boring if we were all the same and the symphony could never be so good….

    I loved the article. I have family members I just can't deal with and I used to hate feeling guilty when I wasn't the one that did the terrible things they did to me, yet I felt guilty just because I didn't want to be around them. I think this article is the first time I have read that it is okay…. I usually get the "stand by your family no matter what" kind of attitude from people who don't know my family.

    Thank for putting it so eloquently!

    • Gotcha!

      OH Please! You trolls are soo annoying.

  • moi

    we need to stop saying sorry for thing we arent sorry about

    saying sorry all the time takes the sincerity out of the word making it meaningless and you just sound fake

    we shouldnt feel bad about loving ourselves and being confident i feel people often mistake it for arrogance & people with insecurities are assumed to be humble which isnt true some "victims" are just addicted to self pity and are attention seekers

  • jetsetter2011

    I agree with cici and coco hands down I’m a dude and I agree with u I’m the same way

  • Jetsetter2011

    I have to agree on most of these topics. I know its a litte late to be posting on this such topic. I stumbled apon it on cnn and read it. A lot of that is said in this I think most people should take it and run with it cus there r a lot of people in this world that need help and or don’t feel as if they are good enough.. I think this artical is indeed by far very up liffting

  • Mike

    I am a white male and I stubbled upon this article and I found that it applies to my life as well. I think Ms. Hooks did a great job saying what needs to be said. As to the previous comment that it needs to be re-written, why?
    What is more important? The words – or what they actually mean? I'm not an English major, I am an Engineer, but I see the big picture.

    This article conveys at a high level what I have been thinking in my own life recently. That often I put other people ahead of myself and end up saying "I'm Sorry" when I had no reason for being sorry.

    Guilt is a powerful tool. People use it against us. I have had people try to make me feel guilty for not loaning them money. I have had other people try to make me feel guilty for talking about my job. Even my ex-wife used to try to make me feel guilty for the alone time I needed, calling me anti-social at times.

    I applaud Ms. Hook's article and I believe like she does that we need to quit saying we are sorry all the time for not "meeting" other people's expectations or for not doing other people "favors".

  • Cici & Coco -The Besties

    I dont apologize for my words or actions. I dont argue with anyone because its pointless & boring. I choose to hangout with guys more than females. But in general i like my own company.. Whether or not the person takes my words the wrong way is not my problem. Idc what ppl think of me. Im just someone that if youre upset with me & wanna fight youre gonna get more upset because i’ll laugh. Eh.. Just me tho. Most women r too chatty, superficial, envious, annoying, nosy, loose, negative & annoying lol. I know a lot of guys who r annoying too.. Too chatty.. Brags too much.. Ugh thats y my ipod is my bestie lol just turn it on & drown ur voice out. :)

  • wondawoman

    I don't apologize for being a "guy's woman". Most of my friends are guys because I don't like DRAMA, and most women are full of drama. I do have gal friends, just not as many.

    The other thing I don't apologize for is anything done by dead people I never knew. These are things I never had control over and can't go back and change.

  • Laurent

    More and more we men are reading womans issues articles because these writings come to our aid in today’s world more than ever. These are teaching and thought provoking inspirations simply because self identity, esteem, family confusion come to men just as they’ve always been there for all of us. When men become completely honest in our emotional vulnerabilities, we are free to act and regain our lives. I believe we guys have that golden opportunity to experience the kind of joy that only comes through cooperation with others.

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