We Must Do Better for Our Kids: The Silence of Sexual Abuse

August 22nd, 2011 - By nativenotes

The dirty stain of sexual abuse plagues families of all shades but how the black community sweeps this issue under the rug affects me the most for personal reasons. At the start of the summer a black family in Pennsylvania placed their daughter in summer camp, a typical summer camp where the children attend between the hours of 8am to 4pm. This was supposed to be an excellent opportunity for the young girl to interact with her peers and prepare for grade school through academic and recreational activities. But instead this ordeal has become a nightmare for the little girl and her loved ones. She was molested.

The specifics are too graphic and disturbing to divulge but what is known is that her female camp counselor took two young girls into a bathroom, and then began to fondle their privates. No one wants to read this type of story and it actually hasn’t made the press (surprised?) but our discomfort with the topic should not cause us to turn a blind eye to the subject. In doing so we empower pedophiles to terrorize our children and increase the risk that someone close to us may be victimized.

What went wrong? The family taught the little sister to stay away from dirty men and nasty little boys. They taught the young girl to cross her legs and sit like a lady, to respect herself. They taught her to tell the teacher when other students were having inappropriate conversations. So how did this nightmare become their reality? More and more stories are being reported of women molesting young girls, yet we don’t warn our little girls to beware of women who could violate them just like a man could.

Young boys are just as much at risk. No one ever told me to stay away from older men. No one warned me that someone who looked like my father might want to touch me in an inappropriate way. So because we’re ignoring same sex molesters we’re leaving our children vulnerable to the types of pedophiles who know our children lack that awareness. Because the truth is We lack awareness, we can’t see a man touching our son or women touching or daughters, but why can’t we?

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  • Just Did

    http://elev8.com/news/orethawinston/academics-ped

    But some people seem to think Pedophilia is normal. We need to spread the word about this!

  • MAF

    Whit the rise of homosexual rights (still waiting for the rights of African Americans), you're going to see more sexual abuse on children, men on boys, women on girls. So I guess this is what MLK stood for, rights for everybody but his own people to be treated as a human made in the image of the Almighty.

    • Jimmy Swaggered

      Which rights are you still waiting for exactly?

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  • dee

    i love this..borrowing it for a comment at a friends passing.. she was touched by an uncle so so sad carried the weight for some 40 years.. seeing him in her dreams.took to many pills.. my loveone love your story,,thanks.

  • WIllona

    Great article! I also think that more black parents need to talk to their kids about sex. Surprisingly I know a lot of people who don't talk to their kids about sex. If you don't tell them what's right how can they possibly know what's wrong. This article is actually good because I have told my son about someone touching him and I think in the back of my mind it's always a man. Women are definitely molesters too. So I will be sitting him down and giving him another talk. Thank you, MN!

  • http://www.facebook.com/priest77 James Murdock

    __THE CRY OF AN ABUSED CHILD____WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS? WHY AM I BEING ABUSED?__WHY IS IT EVERYTIME SOMETHING GOES WRONG I'M THE ONE BEING ACCUSED?__IS THERE A REASON I'M BEING PUNISHED BEING HURT FOR NO CAUSE?__I'M A CHILD LOCKED IN A ROOM WITH ABUSE BEHIND THESE WALLS.__I'M BEING ABUSED PHYSICALLY MY LITTLE BODY WRECKED WITH PAIN__I'M BEING ABUSED SEXUALLY AND IT HAPPENS OVER AND OVER AGAIN.__DOES ANYONE HEAR ME CRYING? I'M TRYING TO HOLD BACK MY TEARS__I'M LOOKING FOR HOPE ON TOMORROW YET, IT'S JUST ANOTHER DAY OF FEAR. __DOES ANYONE HEAR ME CRYING? MY TEARS COULD FLOW FOR MILES__DOES ANYONE HEAR ME CRYING? THE CRY OF AN ABUSED CHILD.__HOW MANY MORE LICKS MUST I TAKE BEFORE YOU'RE SATISFIED?__YOU HUNT ME DOWN LIKE AN ANIMAL NO MATTER WHERE I HIDE.__LOOK AT ME! I'M JUST A CHILD! I CAN'T FIGHT YOU BACK__YOU CAN HURT ME WHEN EVER YOU WANT THEN COVER UP YOUR TRACKS.__ THERE IS ONE WHO HEARS MY CRY WHO SEES YOUR EVIL SMILE__BEFORE GOD, YOU WILL ANSWER THE CRY OF AN ABUSED CHILD.______GOLDEN HEART POEMS____ ________________

  • BoomBoomRoom

    Yep this plague too many black families. Thats why I'm gonna git me a white man. They too decent for this shyt!!

    • Deeana

      very ignorant comment, white men do it to (any ethnicity), and it would be so ironic if you did get a white man and got an unpleasant surprise.

      • BoomBoomRoom

        How dare you wish sexual abuse on my family and children!! You are trash!!

    • willona

      What an ignorant &*^%$!

      • willona

        I'm talking about you Boomboom. People of all races and ages get molested. If you think white men don't molest, then you really are an idiot.

    • Portia

      Don't be fooled, this might seem like a black community issue but scratch the surface just alittle abit and u
      will be surprised to find that infact every race(white, yellow,red) faces this problem. It is a global problem,it's just
      that some races handle it better than others. The methods of handlin it may be unorthodox but they handle it unlike the black family that sweeps it under the rag opin it will magically disappear. Every race has it's own very rotten apples.

  • http://lidia-anain.com Lidia-Anain

    I really appreciate you for writing on such an important topic in such an eloquent manner. More parents need to unmask predators through candid conversations w/ their children so that children can know anyone can be a predator. I never knew how I would talk to my sons about these things but when my oldest turned about six and grown women began making comments about waiting for him to become “legal” I knew the threat was real.

    I have sons and I’ve always been very careful and clear about explaining that anyone man, woman or even a peer can be a predator. I’ve also been careful w/ how I word my messages so I don’t make them paranoid about becoming a victim or even ashamed/fearful of coming to me if it does happen to them.

    Kudos, Ced! Keep these kinds of thoughtful posts coming.

  • Protectingmycubs

    First and foremost I made sure they understood that they could TELL or ASK ME ANYTHING no matter how shocking!! We had an age appropriate conversations about their bodies. Then I made sure they understood good touch versus bad touch. That no one and I mean no one touches you or speaks to you in anyway that makes you uncomfortable and if it happens you make sure you let mom or dad know. I told them that no one means relatives, strangers, mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, friends, other kids NO ONE. I also told them that even if they threaten to kill your whole family you still tell. Because I know that some parents molest their own children I made sure to also let them know that if mom or dad touches them in an inappropriate way you tell the police/teacher, etc.!