The Seven Deadly Sins of Dating

August 17th, 2011 - By Toya Sharee

Maintaining relationships can be difficult business, and it only grows more complicated as the time and emotion you invest into a partner increases. As expected, you won’t always get along. There will be plenty of arguments over finances, the clashing personalities of friends and family as well as over little things like how he always leaves the quart of milk in the fridge with not even enough for a bowl of Special K. If your relationship is strong enough, it will breeze right past the small stuff, but sometimes even the strongest relationships will find themselves at a point of no return.

What do you do when a particular situation leaves you sleeping next to the enemy, or even worse, transforms the person you’ve grown to love and trust into a total stranger? What changes in a relationship to make it not even worth salvaging? We all have a breaking point and while some women can forgive something like infidelity time and time again, there are many others who are willing to call it quits after the first ignored text message. Which of the Seven Deadly Sins of Dating do you think ends a relationship…permanently?

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wolly

without a doubt, infidelity and lying.They go hand in hand. Finish one, kindly, before starting another. It is fair and honest for all parties involved. Ouch.
http://www.TheSpinsterliciousLife.com Spinsterlicious

Possibly the biggest mistake of all: putting up with behavior that is less than you deserve…because you think it's better to "have" him than not. Truth is, you shouldn't even want him.
-The Spinsterlicious Life.
Ziggy

Ziggy… I like and appreciate what DJ wrote. It was very poignant. It very much represents a great deal of the things that I felt after I read some of these pathetic comments… Thank you DJ
http://notevenifjesuswaspouring.com DJ

The larger question isn’t the misperception that black+female= perfection or that all black women are gainfully employed or have no kids–divorce doesn’t count…with that stroke alone a man can just as callously as many of you here have done, dismiss the other sex. Perhaps the real question is why do so many American born women struggle with choosing idiots? And spare me on the supply issue. There are hurdles you place for black men to make them pay for YOUR choices that other-race men never have to battle. It is your responsibility to be a full woman. Black? Try spiritual. Tender. Willing to expand your reading beyond Ebony, Heart and Soul, O, and Essence.

Its fascinating that so many single bitter women gain advice from other…single bitter women. Sad that even on this board when a man challenges your thought process your psyche turns to attack mode and deflection, clinical dispensations to latent poor self-image, depression, and co-dependency norms.

Go back and find the women who seem happy about the man they are with.–not they either are perfect. Let’s be fair, unless you to have a solid degree or a few and have 0 kids, and are fit and heathly living (not obese or overweight but physically active), are well traveled, etc should you expect a man of the same ilk. You can’t be demanding to have Prince Charming if you act like the Wicked Witch of the East. Lol
- L-Boogie
  
  You make some great points.
- Brainyone27
  
  You sound like a very pensive and at-peace-with-yourself person. You are so right on with your viewpoint. The problem with some peeps reading your input is that they are not likely to understand your message. Alot of people are lacking spiritual and well-rounded personal self-understanding and don’t see things as clearly as you do. It’s unfortuanate that many people lack education of life matters, maturity and respect for others.
- http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000595128061 Kbabercrombie Brown
  
  I Just wanna say i dont Know You nor Probably ever will. but You will Live a full Prosperous Life. Bless You Bless Your WISDOM…..I’ve been Saying “Some” Similar things before to people.
Jason

Funny, I am a black man who once lived at home, with my parents, had no car and had kids. Fortunate enough that my wife, who was my girlfriend those 17 years stayed with me.

She is now with a wealthy, not rich but, wealthy black man who is college educated man with his 9 cars, 3 homes and now has 5 kids with that same woman!

I am not being racist,’I am just saying women don’t always be so quick to leave your brothers’!
- Zolicia
  
  It’s great that she stuck with you and that everything has gone so well for you and your family. Just thought I’d point out, though, if you have 9 cars, and 3 homes…you ARE rich lol.
Yvonne

Lies…. hate them
Nacobe

Has anyone ever considered that Aaron aka BoomBoomRoom is mentally a woman? I looked at his fb profile and gaydar went off… Don’t get me wrong, I’m not defending him for his misinformation but he might be giving bad advice from his experiences.

With that being said, here’s another deadly sin for both men and women: It is a sin to enter a new relationship while you’re still mentally and emotionally in your old relationship.
numero uno

How can someone make up a job? Now that is crazy…no pay stubs, uniform? To say someone made up people and places is a tad bit pushing it, if you are not around someone 24/7 that does not mean that they are a compulsive liar. And even after 7 years you are not fully aware of every person your partner knows. I have exaggerated the truth to impress a partner or keep her intrigued based on what I thought would make her happy or what "sounded" right at the time. Now I realize you should not have to try to hard to impress a person no matter how into them you are. If youre a good person they will love you for who you are.
- http://www.facebook.com/donna.robinson.102 Donna Robinson
  
  And you are correct in what you state, you meet, you tell what career paths are chosen, you speak of other small talk, and if he or she finds this is unacceptable, no harm done you both move on, because if one tells one lie it has to continue and how can one base a relationship on that? you can’t., nor should you want to.
cynthia

the worst thing is to be relationship and your partner lives in another state the understanding will be very difficult cause if trust and understanding is not established before living to another state there is nothing like peace throughout the relationship till one person has to say i can't continue
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numero uno

Everybody tells small white lines! I've done it but I've learned it only discredits you no matter how unimportant the lie is. Using the word love when you don't mean it is a lie, that can destroy a person. Abuse isn't a sin, its a kill. There is no relationship without respect. Lack of communication is the most important, Come to me before yo go anywhere else.
As far as the last part, I wont be involving my family or friends in any of my sh*t ever again. They give you information about what they THINK instead of what they know. And people are good for f-ing up a relationship just because they can do it.
Anna

Hmm… something I absolutely cannot move past in a relationship?

The talking stage. It seems that I can never get to the eras of the relationship that you are speaking about. None of these articles are any help to me…. I kinda getting tired of this site. They don't speak to any of the situations I deal with….
http://unemployedblackman.blogspot.com/ Samuel L. Blackson

@BoomBoomRoom
I think its sad that your life consists of going to different blogs to berate and belittle black men.
I think its extremely tragic that you happen to be the very thing you hate.
Get yourself some help, Aaron, self-hate is very destructive.
http://unemployedblackman.blogspot.com/ Samuel L. Blackson

*women
Gotten tried of them riding you on b-o$$!-p huh aaron?
- http://www.wordflow.webs.com/ Invisible_Jester89
  
  Trolls can’t stand the combination of simple logic and trolling them back. It’s like their kryptonite.
http://unemployedblackman.blogspot.com/ Samuel L. Blackson

5 Deadly Sins for Men
1. Dating a woman who expects you to do what her and her children's father won't do, like getting a job to support said child(ren)
2. Dating a woman who thinks that your car is important enough for her to make a decision on what type of person you are.
3.Dating a woman who does not pay her own bills, yet expects for you to pay them.
4. Dating a woman who values herself by what type of man she can get with.
5. Listening to a man, who pretends to a be woman (BoomBoomRoom/Aaron Sailor) give advice on a subject he obviously has no knowledge on. The woman here want straight man, you want bend ones, see the difference?

Real men want real women, just because you have a list of demands, excuse me, qualifications, doesn't mean you are worth any man or woman's time, it just shows that you are a miserable person who needs another adult to cover your inability to function as a normal adult, which in that case would mean you need a parent and not a mate.

Dislike away!
- Kim
  
  Well said!
- http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000595128061 Kbabercrombie Brown
  
  WoW …..very powerful….LOVED THIS.
EvaJ

To cheat on anyone is the same as making decisions for the other person. Though it may be hard to hear it’s better to be in on whatever affects your life and well-being.
JustAshley

Good list. I got rid of a guy whom everyone thought was perfect – because he was FOREVER lying. No big lies- that I found out about- just random small white lies about stuff that didn't even matter!
*
Lies are a "no-no" in my book and JUST as bad as cheating. I feel- if you're willing to lie over inconsequential little things then you'll lie about ANYTHING. I couldn't trust him, so I left.
- Chris
  
  So you never lied?
  - http://www.facebook.com/flonominal.brotha Flonominal Brotha
    
    Exactly Chris you have soooo many woman that say they hate men that lie but their lies aren't major or important is that what we are to believe? Time and time again I hate me that lie, I hate men that cheat unless you are an ANGEL and have not done any and ALL of the things you say you hate that men do then go find a corner shut up. I have yet to see a woman actually admit that they lie just as much as men do IF not more.
    - http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000595128061 Kbabercrombie Brown
      
      DAMN……You Sound LIKE ME. STR8 DIRECT TRUTH.
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BoomBoomRoom

5 Deadly Sins for women

1) Dating a black man without a job
2) Dating a black man without a car
3) Dating a black man who live with his mom
4) Dating a black man with kids
5) Dating a black man!
- Sade
  
  This made me laugh. Unfortunately I've dated all of these men at some point in my life. It's really sad.
- Tia
  
  Really? Aren't you a black man? Everybody go to facebook and search Aaron Sailor this chinky eyes dark skinned OOGLY AZZ N*GGA!!
- Well well well…
  
  SMH come down off of your high horses. A man can be all of that and still have ambition and drive. Seriously that is why some women fail. So what a man does not have a job is he a full time student maybe? So what if he does not have a car, maybe he's catching the bus to school each day in order to have a degree. So what if he lives with his mom, you to are just dating and you know nothing of their living arrangement. Perhaps he's saving in order to be stable. So what he has kids, like there arent women with kids. The last part is just racist.
  - Zombieunicorns
    
    Not to mention that many people are moving back in with their folks for one reason or another these days. And most cultures stay close with their families and continue living together or near each other for a long time. The idea that this is a bad thing is just a crappy American idea. There’s nothing wrong with living with your parents when you’re also a contributing member of the family.
- Native Gear
  
  How about you drop the term "black" and just say, "Dating a MAN without a job… Dating a MAN without a car…." It would make more sense and make you look "smarter".
- Boo hoo
  
  Wow I feel sorry for you. You must be having problems finding someone and by the looks of it, you still will for a long time to come!!
- MEMBE
  
  wahouu u r a real woman ! that s so true !!!!
  im french, a black female french, and as long as i read some different blogs for black people i used to read all those negative things about black men by black female.
  I just dont get it ! you seem so complex about your black skin, all those light skin and dark skin comparisons are so stupid!!!! a thiink that your african ancestors would be very very sad to see how much you hate yourself this i so sad after all you've been throuhg in united states. wahouuu so sad
  im agree with you sandy to tell that you can be a white man and not be so magnificient as black female thought you are ! so so sad
- Staci
  
  WOW!! have you stop to think that maybe you are attracting the wrong type of Man?? Men are Men across the board SUPPORT your Black Men!!!
  - http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000595128061 Kbabercrombie Brown
    
    NOPE Staci….she OBVIOUSLY hasn’t…..Sounds like a TYPICAL BITTER BLACK Women Stiffing On Child Support…SMH.
    no Surprise here…..I’ll Be Moving Along To Greater Pastures…
- Rosario
  
  This is coming from a black woman: You're an idiot. Go die in a ditch and rot.
- http://halebobb.com/vote.htm Doc
  
  Bigot!
- http://www.wordflow.webs.com/ Invisible_Jester89
  
  How about we not insinuate bad things about African-Americans on an African-American oriented website? That kosher with you, BoomBoomRoom? Because I’m pretty sure anyone with half a brain would have figured that out by now.
Stanley

I can't deal with none of hem.

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