7. Lack of dependability or confidentiality
Don’t mistake dependable with predictable. The older I become the more I believe that the best relationships are somewhat routine and steady. Many people get entertained by the extremes of being at one another’s throats all the time followed by being in one’s another’s pants, but what happens when it is time to concentrate on the boring real life stuff like paying bills and making sure the kids have dinner? When you’re building a life with someone it’s important for partners to be assured that one another is doing their fair share of the maintenance without the other having to constantly remind them or clean up after them. Your partner should be just that, a partner, not a replacement for your mother or father.
It’s also difficult to discover that you and your partner aren’t the only ones in your relationship. Venting to family and friends about annoyances is understandable, but no one other than you and your partner should have the play-by-play of what’s going down in your bedroom. Allowing others to repeatedly have a say in what you should do or be doing in your relationship, is like letting them drive your Benz with no
mirrors: They’re only getting one view of the story and steering a relationship that doesn’t belong to them.
What is something you absolutely cannot move past in a relationship?
Toya Sharee is a community health educator who has a passion for helping young women build their self-esteem and make well-informed choices about their sexual health. She also advocates for women’s reproductive rights and blogs about everything from beauty to love and relationships. Follow her on Twitter @TheTrueTSharee.
