How to Stay Sane After Forgiving a Cheating Spouse

August 16th, 2011 - By Demetria Irwin

 

Lots of women have forgiven the unforgivable. Famous women, women you worship with in church every week and women in your own family have given a man a second chance after he broke a sacred vow to stay faithful. It’s tough to learn of a spouse’s cheating and perhaps even tougher to stick around and forgive.

Your Tango offers up a few bits of advice on how to maintain your sanity after you’ve forgiven a cheating man. Do you agree with their tips?

Have you forgiven a cheating man? How did that work out?

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  • :(

    I cheated on my boyfriend of 8 months, I can’t believe I did it I am so shameful and guilty and remorseful It has only been two days, I know he needs space and time. I told him about it the day after it happened. I was his first girlfriend and I really really MESSED UP. any advice? obviously no one can read his mind but i just need comforting words, I can’t stop beating myself up.

    • lani

      I suggest ending your life, People like you don’t deserve second chances nor breathe the same air as other MORE sensible human beings do. And yes, before you ague back, cheaters do not deserve happiness. They are one of the most disgusting manifestations of evil in this world. Darling, I kid you not. Had i known where you live, I’ll be doing you the favor of pulling the trigger and make it seem like an accident.

  • Goodgood

    Gemini’s are two faced back stabbing psychos…7 yrs. And one cheated on me in our home! No peace of mind at all…lol just venting…true story…

  • lili

    I will not be one of those to say ” Just f**** move on” and that’s it .
    I am sure I would be depressed and it would be very difficult to cope with.

    However, the reason why a a woman OR man needs to leave is not because the partners will cheat again… is because you will become bitter, your personality will change and not in a good way, you will never trust the other again… one moment you will be happy, the other suddenly unhappy.

    Not to excuse women, I know for sure they cheat as much as men do. They are just very,very good at hiding it. My girl friends even laugh about it. However, the difference is that when a woman is caught, she really feels bad about it or at least acknowledges that what she did is bad. Period.
    A man, on the other hand, feels a little bad in the beginning and then comes up with:”Oh, just move on already”
    Move on, yes, but not how he tells you too. Move on from him, NOT with him!

  • lili

    I will not be one of those to say ” Just f**** move on” and that’s it .
    I am sure I would be depressed and it would be very difficult to cope with.

    However, the reason why a a woman OR man needs to leave is not because the partners will cheat again… is because you will become bitter, your personality will change and not in a good way, you will never trust the other again… one moment you will be happy, the other suddenly unhappy.

    Not to excuse women, I know for sure they cheat as much as men do. They are just very,very good at hiding it. My girl friends even laugh about it. However, the difference is that when a woman is caught, she really feels bad about it or at least acknowledges that what she did is bad. Period.
    A man, on the other hand, feels a little bad in the beginning and then comes up with:”Oh, just move on already”
    Move on, yes, but not how he tells you too. Move on from him, NOT with him!

  • Ponniskali

    im still goin insane after a year….the funniest part is my husband has completely forgotton his betrayal and thinks im mad for some other damn reason….god help mw

  • Ponniskali

    im still goin insane after a year….the funniest part is my husband has completely forgotton his betrayal and thinks im mad for some other damn reason….god help mw

  • Regretfully Yours

    My husband cheated on me three years ago his excuse was that his sexual needs were not being filled the way he thought they should be. At the time he was working part time where I was working full time plus working overtime to make ends meet. We also have two children one being a toddler at the time. Long story short after working most days from 7:00am to 7:00pm, then coming home cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the children I would be tired and not in the mood. Hubby decided to start hanging out with a co-worker and they ended up having sex. The only reason I believe he decided to come clean is because he thought his little side piece gave him something. I was foolish enough to stay with him for the children they were upset when I told them their Dad had to leave he would be staying some where else, but I still dont trust him and have not honestly forgiven him, I can barely stand the sight of him. I am a walking talking testimony on why women should not take their cheating husbands back because now I am bitter and just counting the days until my youngest is ready to go to college so I can end this sham of a marriage. Please sisters do not stay in a marriage where the trust is lost you will regret it.

  • elle

    I'm with you, Sassy. Cheating shows utter disrespect for your partner and is a horrible betrayal of trust. I wouldn't stay with a cheater. Men know very well not to put up with a cheating woman. They will dumb you in a heart beat. There are two many fish in the sea to put up with a cheater's bulls****

  • elle

    My father cheated on my mother as well, that's how I have two brothers a month apart!!!! I'm glad women on here took back their husbands and have better relationships. But how in the world do you find the strength to trust? Most men who cheat the first time are serial cheaters, and like I said, he doesn't respect you if he does it. I would be paranoid, so I couldn't have somebody around f*** with my head like that. He would have to go. I know how hard it is to leave a relationship when you love someone, but I also know if they disrespect you you don't have a choice. It's going to hurt, but most of the time you'll be better off. I think women are dumb to take back cheating men. That's part of the reason they know they can cheat, you'll go for the okie doke. Statistically when the woman cheats the man dumps her. Look it up.

  • elle

    Hell to the NO. Cheating and Abuse are my two deal breakers. Until the day when women just randomly fall on d** there is no excuse. Contrary to what cheaters say it doesn't "just happen." Cheating is the ultimate form of disrespect. If you have a problem in your relationship, you need to discuss that with your significant other whatever it is. If you're just a straight up ho, you need to face that in yourself and stay single. You also need to be up front with those you get involved with that you are a ho – and I'm talking male and female.

  • kat

    its possi le to forgive but never forget. iv been with my husband for 9 yrs and we have had a situatiin where he cheated and I was so mad and hurt that I wanted him to k ow how it felt so a yr later I cheated on him. we both forgave eachother but everybow and again we r reminded of our mistakes. we are in councling and doing well the trust is growing but iknow it will never be as strong as it once was but we are happy and still in love

  • NM817

    i hear ya. but I'm also guessing you're single.

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