Is ‘Race-Mixin’ the Solution to Black Love?

August 9th, 2011 - By LaShaun Williams

Black love, black love, black love…

It’s what black women’s magazines and blogs keeps feeding to successful, single black women—keep hope alive, stay loyal and, one day, the brotha of your dreams will find you. And, that’s why nearly 70 percent are single. Sounds promising when you’re 30, flirty and thriving; causes you to start reading up on artificial insemination when you hit 40. Preference is understandable; exclusivity has proven itself damning. In 2011, committing to dating “coloreds-only” is like signing the Black Woman’s Pledge to Remain Lonely.

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  • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001331875734 Ambi Victoria

    Great article. Thank you for painting the view into the lives of many wonderful women who are seeking something that is not planning on coming to them- lest they get off their rotting chair and change to a more broad and hopeful course and road. Some people cant stand reading / hearing the truth even as so many others find this as the blatant reality by their personal experience and perspective. I dont understand why some would become angry when we have people out here who are truely concerned for black women in finding love-true get down on one knee, white dress, building our future together, we are faithful soul mates love! And we are worthy of it, it it be by a mate of the same color or other. Why get angry when we realize this and so do many others who bring it to everyone's attention?
    Black Women need the spotlight on us but in a permanent bright positive world view for a change. How history been so far for us is not to our liking and its way over due for a better change and loving acceptance and recongnition.

  • Umrao

    70% of Black Women ARE NOT SINGLE THAT'S A HUGE LIE.

    lipstickalley.com/f41/70-black-women-single-debunked-323778/

  • http://madameniore Tonia Grant

    Black love…its black on black that’s black love nothing greater than a nubian queen with her black king. That’s the way it should be!! That’s black love!

  • http://www.bossip.com Beauty

    To all the brothers and sisters question, A white woman only wanting to date/marry a white man is expected and not called closed minded so why are we calling a black woman closed minded for wanting whats natural? A black man..Black on black love is power Think blacks and whites would have voted for obama if mrs. obama was white..umm not. See Black love is power..

    • guest28

      People are usually only called closed minded when they disagree with "you". Also some people who consistently date outside of their own race, by their own definition can be considered closed minded towards their own race. Which to me would be of greater concern and indicative of deeper issues. Just food for thought.

  • meagan

    @ MissDeeDee08.. I realize that racism is still going on. My boyfriend is terrified to even hold hands with me in public because we live in mississippi. A man was just recently beaten and ran over, TWICE, just because he was black. My point is-is that this acticle and comments are promoting racism by downing black men. Maybe LaShaun has had some piece of s*** boyfriends, I get that. But that doesn’t mean they are all terrible. And some people’s comments on here are just aggravating and ridiculous.

  • thebeesknees

    refuse to read the article…but if I were single I would definitely date outside of my race. it is 2011 and why would you limit your search to black men who are endangered anyway:-) Ladies, if you are single and fabulous, I implore you to date whoever you are attracted to…i mean really, love is hard enough to find. Find a man who knows your worth and respects…and if he is white or latin or chinese…so what?

    • Russ

      While I agree with you that we should all find someone we love regardless of their race. We should also remember that we should respect each others choices for happiness. But the issue as I see it is interacial dating and relateships are being promoted one way. Black woman for a white man, constantly in commericials you see a white man and various types of women (black, asian, spanish and white). This is a attitude that is being sold to americans as the way it should be. I think we need to follow love and not what is being promoted by people who believe the advertising.

  • meagan

    First off.. I find it completely ridiculous that race still even matters today. Wake up.. It is 2011 now!! When you look at a person you shouldn’t judge them based on their skin color! You can call it a “preference” or whatever you want but uhh guess what? Choosing not to date someone because of color is RACISM. How do I know? Maybe because I’m a white woman dating a black man. And every day we leave our house we have people staring us down like its a taboo. We get the “utter disgusted” looks and the looks of hatred. The only reason people choose to make “race-mixin” an issue is because they are racist. The end.

    • MissDeeDee08

      Meagan-racism is alive and still exists. Let me school you; you exist in the PRIVLEGED group. I absolutely cannot speak for other Black people who have given you ugly looks, but I can say this: up until recently, Black men have been lynched, killed, maimed and everything else under the sun if there was a HINT of a thought of a White woman in his head. Black women and men have, and continue to bear these scars that have not been healed and manifest themselves in relationships. Now, I totally agree; it IS 2011; but old habits die HARD; old mindsets…die HARDER.

  • Guest

    But what % of bm are married at all…that is always left out. Their marriage rate is close to the bw marriage rate.

  • Janay

    AMANDA. I AGREE THAT BLACK MEN’S EGO TAKES PRECEDENT OVER everything including BLACK WOMEN’S PLIGHT. BLACK MEN HAVE NOT COME TO THE DEFENSE OF BW IN YEARS.

    • bhillboy37

      And black women have come to our rescue? Prove it. Post any link from Youtube showing more than one black woman standing up for black men on a network television program. I had to add network program because some chick in her living room doesn't have as much clout as one talking on ABC,CBS,NBC,CNBC,MSNBC,FOX.

      All I'm asking for is ONE LINK- preferably made in the last 5 years. No old Sally Jesse Raphael clips.

  • nick

    First of all people tend to date the types of people most like their families, friends, and co-workers which is why it seems people in "non-traditional" jobs like military, tv, sports, etc tend to be more open to dating outside of their race. As to higher income earning men not getting married. It's not only an issue of being able to be picky, but of their options. If they would prefer to marry a black woman, what are the chances of meeting one on the type of job where they earn 6 figures? The suburbs? The percentage of black men that marry out are still in the single digits because to a point we still have the same issue as our women- most "others" aren't open to dating out.

  • Janay

    Kisha when do black women chase men of other races? The whole point of this post is that they don’t

  • Janay

    Idk…The article isn’t that deep in my opinion. It’s just saying black women aren’t finding partners in black men so they should be more open minded. And a black man wrote it.

  • Janay

    Miss Dee right on. Black women have been too loyal for too long. So loyal that many misinterpreted it as desperation. It’s just a good time to open your mind even if It’s not your cup of tea its good to at least consider all options.

    • SPILL IT!!!

      I agree with everything you just said.

    • pop goes the honey

      yes miss dee. i agree/

    • bhillboy37

      You all can't be too desperate because I stay seeing men getting turned down at the club left and right. Ask a man if it's easy to meet women out here and see what kind of answer you get.

  • ana

    exactly
    dating should be about attraction and compatibility

    not fear, panic, paranoia brought on by fixations with stats, probability equations and obsession
    it is unhealthy, and leads to unhealthy social interactions and relationships on all levels, with people of all backgrounds

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