There’s never enough space in the mirror. All the girls meet up to get ready for the night. Makeup is applied. Shoes are coordinated with ensembles. The average hair salon has nothing on five girls, two Chi-flat irons and one bathroom. Chatting over who’s going to be at the party, Beyonce is blasting in the background to set the mood. Everyone looks classy — never ashy– that’s right, pass the lotion around before walking out!
This folks, in-lies the average ritual of a single, twenty-something woman on a Saturday night. Any Saturday night. But once at the party, there’s always one (feel free to shake your heads at this point).
She’s the girl with the spandex dress with ruching. Too much butt showing, not enough bra and a whole lot of confidence. Pulling you’re friends aside to point her out, they agree, she’s doing too much! But your guy friends would say, “You’re hating.”
Who’s right?
In Tamara Johnson-George (aka Taj from SWV) and Katrina Chambers’s book, Player HateHER: How to Avoid the Beat Down and Live in a Drama-Free World, they define hating as, “a woman who unnecessarily displays a negative attitude toward another woman for trivial reasons.” So, check-mark to your feelings towards Miss Thang at the party. You’re hating!
Many would disagree, but ask your male friends what they’d do in the same situation. Would they bring more unnecessary attention to another shirtless iron-clad man or be more focused on meeting other, more appealing people at the party?
Yes, all girls can be catty and superficial. Sometimes, it’s hard to see the progression from fourth grade to four years out of college. But face it, we as a sex, have a higher hateration meter. We like to pick out flaws, oppose to focusing on ways to improve ourselves.
Dig deep: Is it that a) she’s wearing something too revealing and you’re embarrassed as a fellow woman or it is b) that she’s taking the attention off of you, Miss. Classy, by being a tad raunchy? If it’s option A, then fine. Pull her aside and suggest she wear your sweater to cover her bulging chest. If it’s option B, read below:
We’re not saying there’s something wrong with high self-esteem. In fact, it’s great and should be based upon your regard of self in ANY atmosphere. But you’re just as much in the wrong dressing raunchy as you are hating on someone dressed raunchy. Thoughts?
