Seven Things You Should Never Tell Your Man…

49 comments
July 30, 2011 ‐ By Rashana A. Hooks

Ladies, I know trust is the number one thing in relationships and that open and honest communication is needed to have a successful and meaningful one. While this may hold true in the overall sense of love and happiness there are times when honesty isn’t always the best practice.

Let’s be real, men cannot handle sticky situations like we do. They are a lot more sensitive than women when it comes to bruising their ego and they often have a difficult time being phony or straight faced when it comes to pretending they don’t know the truth about something or someone. This is why it’s important for you to know what not to tell your man, no matter how much you love him.

Grab a pen and paper and take notes..

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  • blahblahblah

    This whole article is some bullshit. You should stop giving advice immediately.

  • Butterfly

    This list is just plain old stupid, except for the last item! if your man can’t handle numbers 1-6, he shouldn’t even be in a relationship with you or anyone else. Intimacy is all about honesty and openness. This list will have you being dishonest, which is never good for a relationship. How old is this author and how long have they been in their happy relationship using this list???

  • Pingback: Things You Should Never Let Your Man Know | Nairobi Digest

  • Andre Alberto

    word these are surprising

  • naoma

    Wonder if it is OBVIOUS that she does and says inappropriate things to you when he is
    sitting beside you? Keep quiet — like she snooped through your possessions in your
    bedroom? And you Kneiw it? Or offended you and he is beside you?

  • dai

    If you and the ex broke off on good terms or bad, the new guy needs to know, I have responded to way too many calls where she broke it off and the ex didnt and new guy is attacked by crazy or jealous ex. As for mom, well most men know their mother well, but as someone pointed out, mom will be there long after you are gone. And hooking up with someone during a break and telling, refer to first sentence, and katie bar the door if you find out later you are pregnant or contracted a std, better speak up before you two get back together.

  • craigs mathematical science

    You know rarther than tell other women what not to say to a man just ask the man what are the things what would most piss them off!

  • Dr. Darius

    This entire article brings life to the statement ” These hoes ain’t loyal”.

    • Squiggles

      LOLOLOL & these dudes are loyal….. I think women are the most simple people walking, men are rather complicated; & most are never loyal unless theres a benefit involved…

  • Kath

    I definitely want to know why HE broke up with his ex, but he doesn’t necessarily needs to know why I broke up with mine, depends on his efforts. I on the other hand will try to verify his take on why his previous r/ship ended. Many a times, what happened before will happen again due diligence is very much important on my list. So with that said, He too probably needs to decipher why you broke up with yours. IJS.

  • Khen Moultrie

    This SH*T is BULLLLLLSHIT! Someone has ulterior motives. You should tell on the level he can take it……….NEXT!

  • hp b

    Isn’t this article placed under the wrong heading/description?

    It should be under “how to spot a narcissist/sociopath”

  • elvenna

    I don’t agree with this me and my fiancee of 3 years have a wonderful relationship based on honesty and we have been going strong ever since and we will continue too because without trust and honesty there won’t be a relationship and of course communication !! Love is not based on lies or to decieve your partner the truth is always the best way to go because lies willl catch up with you no matter how you say it . Now its best to not go tell your friends secrets in the first place to anyone !! A secrect is a secrect and your not being a good friend even if its your man it was told in confidence; Gossip only causes trouble don’t be the root of it because the rath it can cause can sting . Everything else I think honesty is best you can find so much more about a person that way !!

  • CommonSense

    I hope no ladies are taking this advice. Honesty in a relationship fosters a true bond. If the truth were every to come out from another source, you can forget about having any trust in the relationship and it will probably be domed.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_LMDJBVQT7URMQNBISXGOF73QTU MixedUpSiciliano

    About #4. Why should I be encouraged to lie to my boyfriend? Shouldn’t I be open with him about things? 

  • Dr. James

    Jesus, who writes this stuff? Honestly, "lie about anything and everything when you need to" is hardly good advice. That includes hiding the truth or mixing truth with lies, too – this is why in Court we must utter "The Truth, the Whole Truth & Nothing But the Truth", so conniving scoundrels won't be able to weasel their way out of being honest. Why not just come out and say that the Biggest Winner in Love will be she who is able to best lie effectively? To be honest, that may be true, but what a sad truth it is.

  • Sage

    1: Out of all the women I've dated, I've only met one that was completely honest about this any way. The rest had good reason to not say why they broke up with their last boyfriend.
    2: If your friend is out sleeping with a bunch of people she is "loose." You can try to justify however you want but facts are facts.
    3: If you don't like a gift your guy gave you, TELL HIM. Unless the gift was deeply personal (he made it) he doesn't want to waste money on something you'll never wear or use. Just be nice breaking it to him you don't like it.
    4: If you already lied keep lying? Wrong. The truth will come out and if he finds out you lied and then kept lying to him it will only compound the breach of trust and he will be even more upset when (not if) the truth comes out.

  • FemaleBOOTYInspector

    Yep, what woman doesn't lie??! I just learned to LIE too!! Men can tell when something isn't adding up!! I've mastered that skill over the years!! Women and Honesty is like oil and water-it just doesn't mix-lol!!

  • Mac M

    I never meet a woman that didn't lie. now I know why

  • the shadow on the wall

    seriously, what the hell was this author thinking? or what kind of relationship have they held? seems like this is the list of how to break up real quick. I have never been the type of women to take love/relationship advice from articles, sites, magazines, and other people because they all seem to say “beat around the bush” & “coddle your significant other” into this pseudo love that takes too much work to try to pretend it’s real. my husband and I have been married for about six months and been together three years prior; we’re open & honest about EVERYTHING! we appreciate each other for who we are and love the person that has come from the lives we lived before we met. there’s nothing more beautiful than the feeling of complete freedom, having nothing to hide from the one person who you plan to spend the rest of your life.
    I stopped reading at number two because I was about to puke up a really good dinner.

  • xsmokedoutx

    …and they wonder why Black men date White women……..

  • sentinel

    honesty, and trust are supposed to be hallmarks of healthy relationships…this article not only dismisses those values, but denegrates the intelligence of black men…I expect to walk into a relationship with all cards on the table, and i expect the same…and as for "brusing" our egos, I would rather have my partner communicate with me about the issue in a meaningful way rather than adding another bone to a growing skeleton in the closet…

  • Garvey

    8)Stop saying you “dated” a cat. We know that it generally means he tapped that. Don’t sugarcoat that ish fool!

  • Annie

    I agree with not telling your man your girlfriend's business. That is so wack. Your girlfriends personal life that they share with you in confidence should not be pillow talk. It's just messy (and rude).

  • Nat

    Completely disagree with just about everything on here. I do the exact opposite of all of it.

    Ladies..you need to be honest and communicate with your guy no matter what. Be you, and if he doesn't like you for you, then the relationship will never work out.
    The relationship I'm in now is the first time I've been blunt, completely honest (not beating around the bush), and open with everything about me – (past, present, hopes for the future) and what I like and don't like. And it's the best relationship and healthiest relationship that I've ever had. He likes me for me. And because I'm honest, he's honest too.

    This article is complete BS.

  • Tiffany

    I’ve broken all of these rules… and he still comes back for more! 6 years and counting..

  • Aaron

    This is a joke. Really? Don’t confess about a lie? That’s perfect advice to ruin a marriage. Most if not the entire list is absolutly useless. In relationships difficult things must be discussed in order to grow. Unconditional love is uncommon but needed in a selfish world that we live in. I say toss this list and stick with someone that loves you no matter what happens. Sheesh people…

  • TC from DC

    Ladies, be careful….

    As an almost 50 year old man with grown children, I agree with most of the things and the rationale behind this article. Most especially, the one regarding his mom!!! Remember these points:
    - She is his MOM!!! This is the woman who would give her life for him!!!
    - If she's that bad, trust me HE KNOWS, but will not be too forgiving for you (or anyone else) to talk bad about her
    - The absolute worst place for a man to EVER be is caught between the two most important women in his life! DON'T PUT HIM THERE!!! You are supposed to be the calm port in the storm, not the eye of the hurricane!
    - Most important: She will always be his MOM, there's no guarantee that you will always be his wife! lol

    Good luck ladies!!!

  • http://peridotdynasty.blogspot.com Ms. Williams

    The reason my ex and I could not work out are BECAUSE of his mother issues. They ran so deeply that it messed with how he really felt about women. And I mean, dual treatment. he could find a hundred negative things to say about Black women, but loved all up on me like I was a big block of crunchy toffee. I tried hard not to say anything about her, but some things had to be said. She treated him like CRAP and he was still in a frame of mind where he was trying to please her through his anger for her. Had I known the issues were as deep as they were, we would have been friends. I took a lot of pity on him and ended up doing a lotta damage to myself–all because I allowed it.

    As for the telling about why we broke up, he brought it up first. We wanted to know each other's history, and it also kept me aware that he would have trust issues–which he did. Since she cheated on him 4 times, I think it was safe to say I needed to know that.

  • Russ

    I'll tell you what women should never tell their man – their STUPID DREAMS! "I dreamed I was living at home again and I had my bike – not the one I had last before i stopped riding a bike but the one I got in 7th grade, and it had streamers on it and it was really neat, so I'm riding on my bike and all these people are walking down the street and I don't know where they're going but one of them yells at me to get off the street and I said 'why' and they said because an airplane was trying to land there. So I looked up and there was this big thing and it didn't even look like an airplane, it was more like a bus, and I could see all the people through the windows really clear because it was only about 20 feet off the ground. So – "… AAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

  • Angel

    Ooooooh boy #6! I can’t STAND my bf’s (of three years) mom! Uuugghhhhh!!! She thinks her son is so damn perfect.

    • Kala

      Most mother's will feel that way, been there done that. It is all about how you handle the situation. Believe me she is not going to change and either you will deal with it or you leave. but from my experience if you have expressed your concern in a respectful manner and he does nothing to try and fix it then he won't and she will continue to be a thorn in your side.

  • JustAshley

    Your absolutely right.

  • CECE

    I was about to suggest your companion article should be , 7 things to do when your boyfriend finds out you are a liar., but I read the article. Ok, so far until I got to number 4. Never admit to lying. Everybody tells a fib so to say U never lie is a lie. Admit to one U can handle or call it quits. Nothing is more pitiful than to break up over a stupid lie. If his friends ar 100% losers, why are U with him. His friends reflect who he is. Either U r blind to the fact he is a loser, or U are not taking the time to see their nice points. Last, he is going to know how U really feel about his mother, anyway. Do not bad talk the woman, because she did produce him for You. Be respectful and not manipulative and do not make him choose because it won't be U.

  • seek2027

    i agree

  • Ooh La La

    What the hell? I have to say there are some things on the list that I just don't agree with. The worst being trying to conceal that you lied. How are you just not going to confess that you lied? It's better that you confess than he eventually find out you were dishonest. I might forgive a lie you confessed to, but I won't forgive you getting caught up. That's complete deception. That would make me question afterward if you were honestly sorry that you lied, or just sorry that you got caught.

    • seek2027

      True

  • Warnell

    Grow up, girls. You say you want honest, open communication with your s.o., then quit endorsing the need to lie all the time.

    • JustAshley

      Preach

  • Sugar/Spice

    I'm the type of person that wants to know the truth no matter how bad it hurts me & my husband is the same way. There are some of these where I would omit certain facts like @kayla says but a lot of these are really stupid things to lie over because most of us would break up w/ men for lying over these.

  • MarriedWoman

    I totally disagree with #6.

    Yes, mothers are very important. And yes, a mother should be in the top 5 of most loved women in a married man's life. However, a man's mother should not be #1…. In the Bible, your wife and kids come first.

    A mother should understand that she cannot be #1 all the time. It's natural to focus on the immediate family (spouse and kids) and take care of their needs first before any other extended relatives.

    The mothers who do not understand this concept are the same mothers who undermine the relationship. Those are the same mothers who are afraid of losing control of their sons and are intimidated by their loss of status in their married son's life.

    I can understand a mother's concern for her son if she sees his girlfriend is leading him towards a deadly path- something that can get the man killed or imprisoned.

    But if a man is a much happier and more successful person because of the influence of the girlfriend/wife, then the mother need to leave that relationship alone!

    I know this first hand. My MIL never liked me from the start and even sabotaged our wedding. His family even asked who would be there for him if we were to divorce. Crazy, right?

    The fact that they would bring this up a month into our marriage (with no sign of distress) shows that they don't support it in the first place. Those same people who "love" him are the same ones who didn't call my husband (his mother included) for his birthday since we've been married.

    The same people who didn't help my husband when he was having medical complications… All because he wouldn't let his mother get away with her disrespecting our relationship/marriage and called her out on it.

    BTW- we are dinks (double income no kids).

    • JustAshley

      I hear you- but aren't you concerned this dynamic will go downhill if you guys have kids? Once babies come in the picture your gonna HAVE TO deal with your monster-in-law eventually.
      *
      AT LEAST your guy sounds like he has a good head on his shoulders. Its the ones who think moms can do no wrong that worry me.

      • Cora

        If they have kids, they don't need relatives who are a negative influence.

        • JustAshley

          True.

    • Pretty Paula

      This took a great deal of thought, and research. Thanks. Furthermore, it is an excellent reminder of what women need to remember when dating. I agree, most men do not want to hear about other people, they don’t enjoy the ‘dish’ as much as some women. Also, I totally agree, women should never, ever talk trash about his mother, or his friends. With respect to a little fib here and there, so often the truth hurts, so why not let sleeping dogs lie in a little white lie now and again.

  • Prissy

    Yeah.. some of these things seem a little weird… The past is going to come up.. It's ok to talk about it then leave it alone. I understand not bringing it up all the time.. Some of these "rules" seem a little weird to me. I'm not a liar so I don't know about that one as well.

  • JustAshley

    Ummm no. If he gets me some jacked up gift- I'm telling him. I will say it the nicest way possible BUT how jacked up would it be to pretend I love it only to find he got me 6 more in 6 different colors? LOL! Tell that man about that fugly a$$ gift so he doesn't waste his money on something you don't want and have no intent on wearing or using.
    *
    I disagree about the not telling him why you and the last guy broke up. If the previous breakup WASN'T your fault then I don't see the harm in telling him. Besides he may need to know what the last guy did wrong- so he can know what mistakes might get him kicked to the curb.
    *
    You don't want a guy with loser friends period!!! Those friends reflect different aspects of his personality. If he lacks the wisdom to understand how they are negatively affecting him then chances are- your guy is a loser as well.
    *
    If she's evil and undermining the relationship- and yet he thinks she can do no wrong- he's a mommas boy/loser. You don't want this beta male, and you sure as h*ll don't want this heffa as a monster-in-law. Kick him to the curb.

    • Kala

      Co-sign!

  • Kayla

    1) i can agree with (omission of certain fact isnt lying)
    2) Some things they don't need to know
    3) You may hate the gift but you can still love it, you can love the fact he thought about you. if it's hideous where it around the house
    4) you shouldn't be lying to him in the first place
    5) until his friends start having a negative effect on him, who he chooses to be friends with is none of your business
    6) If his mother is having a negative effect on your relationship then something needs to be said. it can be said in a tactful manner,
    7) i agree