Real Men Like Real Hair – Why Weaves Don’t Work

June 22nd, 2010 - By admin

Courtesy of the FreshExpress.com

Anslem “NWSO” Samuel’s Naked With Socks On is an award-winning relationship blog. Each week, NWSO will share his candid thoughts on women, love, life and all the fun stuff in between with MadameNoire.

If you pay attention to the images portrayed in magazines and mainstream movies, most will have you believe that all men are stuck on the idea of their women having long hair. Whether it’s Beyoncé or Tamika up the block, achieving that look usually means getting a weave, tracks, wig, or whatever other follicle trickery beauticians use to fake the funk. That’s not to say that a black woman can’t have naturally long hair without assistance, but more times than not that sister with the ponytail is actually rocking a phony tail.

I for one am a man that appreciates natural hair. Be it locks, an Afro, curly tresses or even a low-cut Caesar, I admire a woman that is comfortable in her own skin and hair. There’s just a certain sexiness and confidence I get from a woman that decides to defy the norm by rockin’ the hair God gave her. Again, that’s no knock against sisters that prefer a perm and extensions, but natural hair is more my speed. But maybe I’m alone in that distinction.

Mainstream media beats us over the head with images of longhaired women being the ideal form of beauty. From childhood ideas of beauty that defy our own African heritage are what we’re exposed to. Our daughters grow up playing with Barbie dolls that have silky smooth hair and watching cartoons that highlight the same features. Somewhere along the way our sons learn early on to pay more attention to the girls with “good hair.” A few parents make a concerted effort to teach their kids diversity, but for the most part we all wind up repeating the same cycle.

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  • Que

    @Royaltree, actually, if you leave your hair alone in it's natural state it will loc up (Bob Marley). The locs you are referring to are cultivated locs (think Lauryn Hill) in which people manipulate the size of their locs.

    Most men I've run into prefer natural hair. They may not be brave enough to date a girl with natural hair, but they will quickly compliment a chick with natural hair and admire the beauty and confidence it takes to pull off.

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  • Sistah Hollywood

    grammar correction:

    "…what Black women do with their hair?…"

  • Sistah Hollywood

    *applauding Sasha* I concur.

    LMAO @ janitors mop

    Geezus dudes, please knock it off. I've never seen a topic analyzed, ripped-apart, and hypothesized to DEATH. (aside from "why successful Black women are single" *rolls eyes*) … Really, is there no other topic of interest or more importantly, of better value than discussing what Black women do with her hair? I always chuckle at this because Brothas who are so vocal about natural vs. weaves really act as though their hair-situation doesn't need to be addressed. LOL Really Fellas? Like none of you walk around with questionable domes?

    Additionally, when will the delusional-phuckery end that only Black women weave our hair? Stop it…do your research. Just because Black women dominate in purchase power of the hair market, does not mean other nationalities do not "weave" their hair, a la hair extensions.

    Bottom line, whatever your choice: natural or weave – keep it tight … it's YOUR hair … do what you wish with it and don't give a muddy monkey nuts what others have to say/feel/think about it. If the man you're dating/with feels some way about it or constantly has something to say about it – he can keep it movin; trust there IS a man who doesn't care what the hell is on your head – as long as looks like you keep it up.

    The End.

  • Kool

    As much as I like weaves and different looks and rock them faithfully, my hair is natural underneath and I ALSO rock the mess out of it!

    But I must say perming and coloring and all that DOES change who you are, it changes your NATURAL chemical make-up. I also read in a metu neter book that our natural hair and coils that look like a spring have something to do with our chakras and how we connect to Spirit??

    It intrgued me enuff to stay natural – but i do enjoy different looks from time to time and when I do HAWAIIN SILKY IT IS!!!!!

  • SigBat

    Well, just like the author's previous article there really is nothing controversial about this. All he's saying is that the weaving is a pernicious in it's affects on female self-esteem, particularly young black female sense of inherent ethnic self worth. But just like with the previous article I find myself not agreeing completely. The reality is there are just tons of things women (and men) do to their bodies to enhance our looks…for whatever motivation. Hair care, whatever the nature of it, is no different.

    So speaking as a man, I gotta say that, yeah, I don't know who has fake hair nor do I care much, but longer hair is almost always a more appealing attribute, but that is just in my eyes. It would not diminish a woman in my eyes if she used a weave, just as eye liner would not, or lipstick, or hair color, or high heels, or perfume, etc. etc. etc.

  • Can

    Well ladies I think we should make it clear. There is natural as in not a weave and then there is natural as in not relaxed. To keep it real, I think most men want a women who has her own hair, but then on the other hand they down sisters who wear their own texture. So they want natural, but not too natural:)

  • Gabulous

    I agree Sasha–really agree. Oh and MrHealingHands6, I honestly don't want my man to be into makeup and fashion like myself (DL? That's another blog). An educated man is usually looking BEYOND appearances and to the soul and intellect of the woman he's interested in.

  • Royaltee

    This topic is like beating a dead horse. Men don't need to be concerned with what I'm doing with my hair. And for the record all race of women alter their natural hair whether they are bleaching it to become a blond when they are a brunette, hispanic women straigthen their curly locks and honestly Dreds are not natural because that alters the natural state of your head( your hair would not grow out your head like that…) Anyway black men sit online and in barbershops, sports Bars ect. just sitting around talking about all they don't like about black woman. WHO CARES! All woman alter or enhance their appearance be it a push bra, gurdle, hair extensions, make up etc. its what we woman do in the name of beauty and it makes of feel good and any man that can't appreciate that needs to get a life, IT'S HAIR DAMN IT YOU'LL POSSIBLY MISS OUT ON A GOOD WOMEN JUDGING HER BY HER HAIR AND P.S. MR. HEALING HANDS YOU SPEAK FOR YA SELF NO ALL "EDUCATED MEN" AND YOU SOUND GAY OR A LITTLE METROSEXUAL TO ME!! LOL

  • miss conception

    Personally, I perm my hair, and didn't have a choice. I can understand why my mother did it. It is hard to maintain natural hair if you don't really know how to treat it, and what products are right, and how to style it. I decided to keep my hair perm because I feel that despite this not really being my natural hair, I shouldn't be judged if everything else about me is "real" or phony. The deed is done, and I don't feel that going natural, putting weave in my hair, or relaxing my hair will make me change who I am.

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  • FreshBills

    I just discovered this site today and man its as dead as a foreclosed home in detroit. yall need to get some people to this site.

  • http://www.nwso.net NWSO

    @Really Tho?

    I concur, LMAO @Sasha P

    I don't get the self-serving comment though.

    Thanx Mr Healing Hands

  • Lette

    WOW… I think everyone has the right to how they feel and doesn't sound like he would want you in his life anyhow. Sounds more like he ruffled some feathers (or tracks… lol) if you ask me. Your comparison is hilarious. I've heard white men say they don't like weaves too.

  • http://http:/www.facebook.com/mrhealinghands MrHealingHands

    Sorry to disappoint you two ladies, but there are tons of fellas that may not SAY anything to you about the condition of your weaves, but we certainly think it.

    Now, I'm not taking about the random dudes on the street that give you barbaric comments about your body as you walk by…..I'm talking about the brother that knows a lil bit about fashion, style, media, makeup. Not be pushing the homo threshold, just enough to be educated and speak eloquently on any topic.

    For the most part, (besides some exceptions), these educated brothas DONT LIKE weaves. They don't care what style the hair is in. We care about the upkeep and the maintenance in the hair. Whether, its natural, permed, curly, dreaded, afro'ed. Just make sure its DONE! Having a weave doesn't give you ladies an excuse to walk around with a janitors mop on your head after washing down the cafeteria.

    Whatever y'all get just maintain it!!

    • Lizaraine

      I agree with you 100%. Men don't care if the hair is long or short, just that it's tight. Some women don't know how to take care of their natural hair or they don't know how to style it so they just get a simple weave and don't worry about it. This goes for everyone no matter what race. Sure some women and men try to make thier hair look like someone else's, but other's really don't know what they are doing to thier hair health and style wise, so they go to extremes like using sodium chloride rich perms and spending 1000's of dollars on weaves. I suppose that the reason why some black men are still talking about weaves is because they still don't like them and they feel that black women look better with their natural hair.

  • Really Tho?

    LMAOOOOOO @ Sasha P! Yes, this topic is as dead as some dusty tracks laying in the street. Who cares?? Most men don't NWSO! So while you're trying to make good by appreciating natural sistas since you sh#tted on baby mama's last entry, know that this is all too self-serving.

  • Sasha P

    Does any other race of man take the time to comment on the personal and private hairstyle choices of women who share their race? Black men need to find something better to do with their time. Get a hobby. Go to college. Read a book (I suggest bell hooks). Get a life. I don't care what you think about my hair. It's on my head. I do what I want. You do what you want.

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