What a Man Wants When He Comes Home

July 29, 2011  |  

2. Have dinner going

Of course this sounds sexist, and I certainly don’t expect my lady to have a pot brimming every time I get home. (Hell, she has a job/life too) But man, if I walk home from an atrocious day and don’t have to worry about how to feed my face, I’m gonna be eternally grateful, regardless of what she cooks. Well, almost regardless.

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  • Charlie

    One lady commented on here that men are spoiled. I am 51 and I recall 30 years ago visiting with an engineer friend who was from Russia that had been working here for some time. He told me the one thing he noticed was that American women are the most spoiled he had ever seen. Guess he was taking things from his land's perspective. I personally think we ought to spoil one another. Been married 3 times, I may know a thing or two about it.

  • Holding The Mirror

    What about when I come home. It'd be nice to know that my DVR is packed with reruns of Giada At Home, a simply dinner is waiting on the coffee table and my hubby's fast asleep in the bedroom. That'd be awesome.

  • Guest

    There is an art to being a good wife. Sadly, very few women believe this anymore, and if you dare suggest that keeping a home and being the lady of the house IS an art, you get that "You're an anti-feminist" stuff thrown at you. And here I thought feminism was about being free to make a choice, even if the choice is to be a wife and mother.

  • kleigh

    obnoxious. the writer is living in some bygone era of self-entitlement and the article is an embarassment to modern society.

  • good husband

    This author is obviously not a good husband.

  • eve

    big cry baby a man is. and a needy one too. always feels like just because he works, there has to be a replacement mommy running around him, cheering up. silence is normal. rest. wanting to have someone cook for you once in a while. but the mood of this article is a sense of superiority. thinly disguised. i need, i want. i work. yes they want women to shut up. who wants to hear what they want. can't they just work, cook, be silent, give blowjobs( less work for men) and then be grateful that he the man wants to stay around. it is not a loving relationship, it is a transaction is services returned.

  • Medievalp

    You ever hear the term "choreplay"? If you want to get to the "Love" on your want list, boys, you best be ready to pitch in to help with that dinner you want cooked or that house you want cleaned. Nothing puts a good woman in the mood more than a man without a sense of entitlement.

  • SoTrue

    You said your "college boyfriend" and "husband"… which is he??!

  • lovelyjaz92

    although i'm not surprised by this article, as a female sometimes these are the same things I want when I come home from a hard day of work, but of course i'm gonna need a little massage along with that love and affection:)

  • lovestonedhippie

    I just read your list to my husband and he threw the thumbs up. Dammit. Gotta go in the kitchen and make him a fat sandwich! =]

  • Derek

    So, in summary: Shut up. Fix me a sandwich, then get in the bed room. Got it.

  • Lazarus Ares

    A kiss, a meal, a back rub and some silence. Once I'm relaxed then we can talk about your day. But if it ain't urgent, I don't need to hear your gossip or nagging the second I walk in the door. Like Steve Harvey said, "We really don't care about how your day went. Your workday is over so what ya cryin' about it now for?"

  • Kayla

    It is understandable. of course if you love your man, you would make him relax and feel comfortable after a long hard day of work. see the problem is alot of woman today, view this as sexist or weak. whats to say he wont do that to you as well, after a long days work he wont run my bath water, or cuddle for me. men make a woman feel special and woman make men feel special.

  • JLaurie

    I'm a working woman and my husband does not work. I don't get any of that crap when I get home.

  • Allyce

    Hubby CAN throw something together….

  • guest

    Been married 55 years, do everything but chew his food and wipe his butt, and he's still not satisfied. Sits at the table and says "I'll have…" Doesn't know the washer from the dryer. His pension is "his" because he earned it, and I get a roof (which was leaky until recently) over my head and food to cook. I raised four kids and now I'm trying to raise my mother-in-law's. Why am I here? Because he's pitiful, and I waited too long. My advice for the young: if each of you worry more about giving than getting, you'll be fine. The operative phrase here is "each of you."

  • Baffled

    I often here men complaining about their wives and how theyre tired of not getting the respect and appreciation they deserve but truth be told a lot of times it seems like the women that treat their husbands like crap are the ones that get everything they want. I was married for 13 yrs n did everything that I was "supposed" to do. Had another relationship for 6 yrs after my divorce and also stood by my man in every way possible. I worked, payed bills, kept the house,did the laundry,cooked dinner, pampered my man n kids, kept my appearance up, I truly enjoyed my role as a woman. Both times they walked away and left me with nothing but a: thank you for all youve done. As my ex, explained to me I was too perfect, too self-sufficient, he didnt feel needed. Go figure, huh. Meanwhile they're new wives get away with murder treat them like "crap" n they in turn give them everything… new cars, big house, vacations, etc. I dont get it.

  • Kat

    "This is also my first year living with a woman…one who raises hell and makes my life considerably harder when she doesn’t get her way."

    I'm thinking this is a bigger problem than anything else in the article!

  • Edward

    Ladies please. Ur saying "Is that all a man wants? Thats cool!" Like ur fat, lazy asses are doin it. You cant even do that much and this is why ur single and will remain that way.

    • Dee

      Bitter much?

      • Shaye

        Clearly…(so sad)!

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  • nursedred

    You can’t do all that stuff without reciprocity. It’s give and take. You want dinner when you get home you best be taking out the trash promptly and washing my car weekly. Ladies instead of getting mad at a man for saying what he wants why not compile your own list of what you want then sit down and hash it out point for point without arguing. I know so many couples who have easy to resolve issues with each other and say nothing because they think if their partner really loved them they would just know all this already. They keep it bottled up and one day they explode. The other person is immediately on the defensive and starts yelling too so they argue but nothing gets solved. How about figure out what you want and talk before you get all resentful and angry

    • furpurr

      I agree with the list…as long as I am also getting this when I'M the one who gets home 2nd!! My husband & I have a deal: 1st one home makes dinner. {If 2nd one won't want dinner when they get home, we do the courtesy of calling the other as soon as we get off work…Also calling to let the other one know 'when' we'll arrive!} We both kiss & hug the other immediately upon arriving home. "Venting" depends on how bad the day went, & how bad the partner is feeling at the moment!

  • guest

    I pay the bills, and my husband isn't exactly a handyman. If something needs to get done, he'll get to it when he gets to it… Had a reality check after over 20 years, I've spoiled him too much for too long. He's slowly coming around, I think. I've had to put my foot down and speak up about certain things… Hopefully things continue to get better. When I was young and impressionable I listened to all the "keeping your husband happy" crap and disregarded my own self-worth. Now I know better…

  • Guest

    I totally agree with this article. I work too but I do these things to keep him happy and comfortable. He pays all the bills in the house and gives me the option of working. It makes me happy to keep him happy. I don't give him crap when he comes home and I give him time to wind down. Cater to your man then he will cater to you (instead of someone else because what you wont do another woman will, hence "Clean Up Woman.")

  • Lovleigh

    I can definitely agree with this although I find it to be completely inaccurate to my own personal situation. I therefore pose this question to you: what would a man who works graveyard (and is therefore home all day while I’m at work) want when I get home? Can’t say silence cuz he’s had that. Could say food BUT seeing as he’s been home all day where is the balance? And affection is always good. Thoughts?

    • katnap

      he probably wants quiet time because if he works graveyard he is sleep when u get home.

  • Jaye

    Men are spoiled.

  • beckster

    Perfect response!

  • Isis

    There is nothing wrong with this list. I do these things for my man ( I dont cook EVERY night) someitmes we eat out or order in. I also have two young sons. Sometimes the boys will eat the leftovers, where their dad will not want leftovers. Then, he is on his own lol.
    I do these things for him, and in return I have my own list
    1. Money- He handles all of the big bills (mortgage, utilities) and I handle the smaller bills (food, day-care, aournd the house expenses that he handles too). He makes more than I make, so when I need extra money, he gives. He says that he is my ATM

    2. Kind words- "Do I look fat?" Him: "Nah baby you look good" Do I look right in this outfit? Him: Change the shoes and you will be cool. Get the picture?
    3. Sense of Humor- we keep each other laughing that is important
    4. Parenting- He is a great father, but Im the primary caregiver. When I come home and sometimes if he is there first, he will take over for me so I can get myself together. He is great in that way.

  • seek2027

    Not a bad article me I would like a chance to just settle in first 20 minutes at least to be honest

  • Dragonlady73

    Well, I can't be mad because I want the same thing. Give me about 20 minutes to come down from my day. I work 10 hour days (11 if you include my lunch hour) and I just need a few moments of ME TIME when I walk in. I'm all for a quick kiss upon entering, but we can go to our separate corners for a minute. Let me change into comfortable clothes, go through the mail and unwind first. But the cooing thing? It would be good for me too. We need to share that one, but I don't mind spoiling him sometimes


    I love this list.

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  • All in my head

    Never been married or lived with a woman before but from talking to all my friends who are married they seem to all say that a least 5 to 10 minutes of peace are needed when they get home. Being at any job for 8 hours or longer is stressful so that little time to come down from the day can help any marriage. You don’t just want to start throwing everything on anybody as soon as they walk in the door because it will sure enough lead to arguements.

    • seek2027


  • i agree with the article, i think this site does its fair share of what men and women are looking for and i see nothing wrong with the list. i mean if we talking about my husband i dont see the problem. i know i come home not wanting to talk right after work too…and after a shower and some me time im right there with my family catching up on the day….so kudos to the author

  • guest

    hahaha. sandwich. i like that.

  • calidreamn

    I saw a similar list somewhere before and I always try to keep it in mind when my husband comes home. Depending on how long dinner may take I try to start it when he comes home so that by the time he finishes showering and winding down dinner’s on the table 😉

  • OhPuhleezee

    There was no point in titling this "What a man wants….". Women want the exact same thing.

    • Dragonlady73

      Amen, I was going to say the same thing

      • Guest

        ITA!! Hellooo, I get up early, take care of the kids, commute to/from work, work full time, pick up the kids, cook, clean, and everything else my husband doesn't do…. I need all those things, too! Maybe I should get myself a wife…LOL. Stop pampering your husbands, all is does is spoil them and then they take you for granted.

        • Nikki

          If you don't a white woman will.

          • furpurr

            Speaking as a "white woman", I resent that. Neither ethnicity is more or less likely to put up with "doing it all"; but no doubt all of us would LIKE to be treated as equally well as the author of this article wishes to be treated!
            "Guest…ITA!! Hellooo…" has it right. Fair treatment!…regardless of our ethnicities, we want this…& should have it!

    • furpurr

      AGREED!!!! ^5s

  • Naturally T

    Some may have a problem with this list but I don't. The older I get the more I see that some of the older women I grew up being arround had some things right about keeping a happy home. I know that there are things men must do for us but that is not the point of this article. I can attest after 14 years of marriage that the food thing is important. IMy husband and I both work(I am a teacher so I understand this author COMPLETELY!!!) but I try to have some food provided (even if its Chinese when I am tired). For me crockpots have been a lifesaver. You throw in the food and let it do the cooking. I hear women complaining about not having a man ,but then when a man tells you what they want, then some have a problem with that.

  • lola

    the most backward crap ever.

  • Ms Turner

    Cool. That's it? That's not asking for much. I'm a woman and I'm cool with that.