STD’s and Marriage: Should You Get Tested?

July 25, 2011  |  

Research shows that an increasing amount of the population harbors some form of herpes (cold sore, vaginal, penile, and shingles), and in women, HVP, the human papillomavirus, can sit in wait but rear its ugly, warted, head in the form of cervical cancer later. And HIV is the highest growing disease affecting black women, so it goes without saying that young women should always, always, ALWAYS use protection when they choose to have sex before marriage.  That’s a big “DUH,” so forget what said about condoms being tacky. Preventing yourself from contracting a sexually transmitted disease is worth losing the respect of this misogynist, and anyone else who says it’s un-ladylike to own and use some condoms with a dash of spermicide, just for good measure.

But once you’re married, all the condoms and spermicide should go to the wayside, right? I mean, if you’re monogamous, what’s the worry of getting a disease?  Not so fast, muchacha. Just because you’re being faithful and true doesn’t always mean your partner is. I have one unfortunate friend who found out her husband cheated on her not once, BUT TWICE, because she caught a case of Trichomonas–twice. Lucky for her, ‘trich’ is easy to cure, but if I were her, I’d never let that fool touch me with his man parts ever again.

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  • great1divine

    Well this past month i found out that i may have herpes. In the past year and half i have been with three women. One i used protection the other two i did not. So I call all three of them told them and got a ear full. But one of them did say that she was with a person that has it but they used condoms and havent had a sign of herpes. She had a child and did not have a out break. I was just with her a month ago and three days later i had a systoms. Now she like I give her this and aruging. I care about her very much. What should I do?

  • djoe

    I need advice on how to tell my mate of 25yrs that I given her herpes ….I’m so ashamed and I know she will leave me….I’ve shown very little symptoms but she’s has complain about itching and bumps

  • a woman i know, discovered a few years into her marriage her man was hiv positive,thankfully she tested negative-a miracle.they had been trying for a baby and had never had any std tests prior.he started to get ill, then that bomb dropped.she then found out,he’d cheated for over 6 months(a woman).she’s still with friend gets std tested twice a year,within her relationship,she said she’s never told her man,so far all clean.

  • seek2027

    I can agree with you on that but after when you get married to still enforce condoms to me that says that my wife don’t trust me at all and if that’s the case why did you marry me why did you decide to have my last name and spend the rest of your life with me?. Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong for a married couple to get tested but this condoms thing and yall married? That makes no since

    • TeeTee

      Ok, let me first address the whole marriage and trust issue. It's true marriage is based on trust. When two people first get married hopefully it's there. But, the longer you stay married, things change. People change. Things happen. When this happen your priorities change. People get married for one reason and for some, they stay married for different reasons. I have to be honest with myself when it comes to love making. No love making is worth dying for.

  • Shay

    I will put this statement in the same boat as, waiting until your married to have sex".

  • Tea Pot

    Just curious, how you have children in a marriage if you are using condoms all the time?


    I'm not encouraging anyone to do anything I'm stating what I think and have done… Did you even read my comment?? WTH are you talking about????

    Please don't be mad at me because you are single and bitter. There's no need to call names or are you mad because you fit the thirsty "'Wh*re" bill always trolling for married men…. either way no need to be mad…it is just a blog!!!! HAHAHAHAHAH!

    • CutieReppinNY

      Funny how you never answered any of the questions because you know you look like a lying fool. You have yet to have any problems, but "If you think you can find a man that will not cheat you are wrong", right??? Delusional and a liar.

      • CutieReppinNY

        Is the best you can do settling to believe that all men are dogs??? So you've settled with a cheater because that's ALL there is and that's what ALL men do. Why make stereotypical statements and then say they don't apply to you??? Any way have a nice breakfast oh delusiinal one. LMFAO

        • CutieReppinNY


          • THEWIFE

            Thanks we will.

            I have a quick minute. I see your problem now.1st I didnt settle and my hubby is a wonderful hard working man. What I meant was I dont believe a women should feel safe from possible STDs just because she's married. I believe that a women should always protect herself whether she's married or single or shacking up. We ( women) cant be with our men 24 hrs a day so I think being tested is a good idea because Men will cheat . I also dont think a woman should go into a marriage or have a boyfriend thinking he will never cheat because all men are capable of cheating.

            Now I haven't had any problems with cheating from my hubby (thank God) but I still request the testing and results. It's just how I am. I think I'm realistic and not delusional. I don't sit around thinking that it will never happen in our 19 yr marriage because it could.

            So, all i'm saying is cheating can happen and ladies need to always protect themself.

            Let me know if thats a lil clearer for you… hurry up and respond !!!

          • seek2027


            But one for certain two thing for sure thewfe really sounds like an idiot and a hypocrite because if she believe all men cheat then that means your husband is doing the same. She claims that she does not have no problem out of him but the question is are you he don’t have a side piece because lets be real married for 19 years and still using condoms that don’t make no since sound like there is a trust


    Hmmm and why are you calling me names? It's just a blog!


    Ha, I've never had a problem with my hubby cheating and I still protect myself. In this day and age a women would be a fool not to protect herself married or not…. And yes dear all Men will and can cheat!!!! Oh and my hubby and I have been happily married for 19 yrs… so misery doesnt not apply to me. Im just saying what I believe and think!!!

  • thatonegirl

    I think if your about to enter a realtionship that involves any sexual activity you should get tested. These diseases out here are not to be played with.


      SO true

  • carla

    After viewing Cover and One Week, i do think that couples should get tested just as regular as a single person. you can NEVER be too careful.


    All men cheat. If you think you can find a man that will not cheat you are wrong. A woman should always protect herself no matter what. And there's not one thing wrong with being tested or using protection even if you are in a long term relationship or married.

    The married female doesn't have low self-esteem because she stayed married. Men are nasty and husbands, boyfriends and lovers will cheat. Women have to be smart and protect their bodies.

    • CutieReppinNY

      Yes she does because she obviously doesn't believe she's worth having her husband's full commitment and therefore settles. Just because your husband cheats doesn't mean all do, I swear misery loves company.

      • THEWIFE

        Ha, I've never had a problem with my hubby cheating and I still protect myself. In this day and age a women would be a fool not to protect herself married or not…. And yes dear all Men will and can cheat!!!! Oh and my hubby and I have been happily married for 19 yrs… so misery doesnt not apply to me. Im just saying what I believe and think!!!

        • MrsAnnlytical

          For you to think that all men can and will cheat but then to say your husband doesn't, is an contradiction in itself. Either all men do cheat or they don't. As CutieReppinNY said misery loves company.

          • THEWIFE

            I said Ive never had a problem out of MY HUBBY… meaning there hadnt been any cheating as far as I know, but I still protect myself because Im not with him when he is on his business trips.. lol @ misery loves company. I guess you mean CutieReppinNY and yourself. Im not the one calling names and being rude. Anyway, have a nice day hubby and I are going out…

          • seek2027

            @ MRsAnnlitical and Cutierepping NY well said agreed

        • seek2027

          @ theWife i am sorry you feel like that and you think that all men cheat if thats the case then all woman should be placed in the same boat. I know that all woman are not cheaters but for yiou to say that about all men its either you have serious trsut issues or you must of been around the blco more than a few times

    • Topics101

      Where did you get this idea that all men cheat? It appears that you have trust issues and settled for someone who deep down inside you know you can't trust. "This day in age" -yes things have changed, but people have not-

      I seriously hope that if you have kids that you are not convincing them that all men cheat because they too will grow up having trust issues, which in fact is a key ingredient towards any successful relationship or marriage. And if what you're saying is true, "I've been married for 19 yrs", but you believe that "all men will and can cheat" how can you honestly say you're happily married feeling this way?

  • seek2027

    I say hell yea get tested its shouldnt be a problem even if you are married

  • Damn, i didn't knew that Herpes is no curable, like hepatithe B & C.
    About the subject, it's hard cause if you go check, taht's mean you don't trust your partner and then why you still together?
    I don't know if that's be suspicious or just be careful.