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A conversation was had earlier this morning in the office about the relationships people have with the fathers of their children, control issues, and what one parent needs to ask the permission of another parent for, before doing. Like a man giving his son a haircut without asking the child’s mother beforehand.
If you’ll recall, a video surfaced about two years ago of a man named Earl videotaping his ex-wife, Kim, as she stood behind his car, keeping him from leaving the parking lot of a police station while she held onto the hands of their twin boys. Kim, along with her mother, was filmed making quite the scene as she picked up the boys because Earl decided to get their hair cut without asking her permission. Most who saw the video, including my co-workers, agreed that she overreacted to the nines, especially since she kept Earl from moving his car so that she could scold him, remind him that he abandoned his family (he, in turn, recalled that he just left her), and then pretended that he put his hands on her in the parking lot so she could file charges against him. It was all bad.
And while we could all agree that her response to the situation was quite exaggerated, we were torn over whether or not it’s okay for a guy to cut the hair of his child without saying anything to the mother.
As I’ve stated before, I’m a big Teen Mom and Teen Mom 2 fan, and in an episode that came on last night of the latter, cast member Jenelle found herself frantic after her former fiancé, Nathan, took their son to another state during visitation time without telling her. He kept the boy for much longer than they had previously discussed. He also had the child around his current girlfriend, whom he started dating during his relationship with Jenelle. And that woman actually filed charges against Jenelle after the reality star threw a cup at her as she sat in Nathan’s car during a dropoff gone bad. I said all that to make it clear that there’s all kinds of bad blood brewing in this situation.
To make matters worse, when the one-year-old boy was finally returned to Jenelle, she realized that his hair had been cut. And because Nathan’s new girlfriend is a stylist, Jenelle came to the conclusion that the new boo did the cut. Not only was Jenelle upset that she wasn’t asked if it was okay for her son’s hair to be cut, but she was also angry that she wasn’t present for that moment, and that his hair was cut Nathan’s girlfriend–who Jenelle doesn’t even like around her son in the first place.
Angered by Nathan’s decision, she blew up his phone, told him she was going to change her number so he wouldn’t be able to contact her any further, and that if he wanted to see his son from that day forward, he would need to meet her in court. In Jenelle’s eyes, he had already overstepped boundaries by taking the child out of state. But he really crossed the line with the haircut. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Or, better yet, make that the strand.
When I shared that story with two of my co-workers, one said that it was unacceptable, particularly the part about the meddling new girlfriend being the one who did the haircut. But another said that she felt like a boy’s first haircut is a moment for the father. And since the baby is Nathan’s as well, he shouldn’t really have to ask permission to do anything for the boy when it doesn’t have to do with visitation.
I think that considering the role the new girlfriend played in the ugly end to Nathan and Jenelle’s relationship, and the fact that she has charges against Jenelle, she probably doesn’t need to have such a hands-on role with their son just yet. It’s just asking for more drama, and they already have plenty of that. But regarding Nathan’s choice to cut the child’s hair in general, why not?
Well, then again, some could take a man’s decision to cut a child’s hair without saying anything to the mother as that individual trying to make a statement. A “Damn! You need a haircut. What has your mama been doing?” statement that implies they disapprove of the way the mother has been handling things. Yes, even something as trivial as hair. So, again, it sounds like a lot of drama waiting to happen.
But what do you say? Do fathers who don’t have primary custody of their children need to ask for permission to cut their child’s hair or alter their appearance?
