It’s been two dates and you’ve already started thinking of ideal honeymoon spots. That is, of course, after you’ve secretly planned the colors of your wedding, the location, and who may and may not make the guest list.
While this may be an extreme example, many women are guilty of ‘jumping the broom’ without even being proposed to. After a few dates and conversations with a new boo, you’ve decided he will be your future husband and the two of you could possibly produce cute kids. The problem is that no one has given him the memo; and currently you’re just a girl he’s gone out with a couple of times, nothing more and nothing less.
Have you ever planned your future in your head with a man you just met, hoping that he’s the right one for you, only to be disappointed that a few dates ended as just that? Are you guilty of falling too hard, too soon?
Although you may not openly express your desires for fear of being considered crazy, usually your actions will follow up with your subconscious thoughts. Some women can play around with thoughts of a potential future with someone before fully getting to know them. It’s really not the person that is appealing; it’s the idea of the person. Usually when people fall too hard too soon, it’s because they are attracted to the idea of having someone in their lives. The desire to get married may play a large role in some women’s lives, in turn they may be quick to give more of themselves physically and emotionally, in hopes of ‘winning the man over’.
While it’s perfectly normal to ponder if you could see yourself being with someone in the long-run upon meeting them, it’s not normal to create your future with them in your head after only a few dates. If you’ve made up in your mind that you want a future with them too soon, you may be prone to accepting things you wouldn’t normally accept. After all, you can’t lose your new husband before even marrying him, right?
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that most people are leery of people who fall too hard too soon. It almost suggests some level of insecurity. Possibly the fear of being alone or not feeling fulfilled unless in a relationship. This behavior is of course not appealing.
So before deciding what your kids will look like with the guy you’ve been seeing for a month, get to know him: his likes, dislikes, or if he would even be a good father. After spending more time with him, you may realize that he isn’t someone you want to be with after all; but that’s the beauty of dating. You meet new people in hopes of forming a connection. If you don’t that’s fine, it’s just dating. However, it’s harder to let go of someone after they’ve secretly become the husband in your head. Take things slow and see what happens. Don’t allow yourself to fall too hard too soon.
There are really two things that could happen when you fall too hard, too soon. You either run the man away with your insecurities or you ended up getting hurt that he’s not who you ‘envisioned’ him to be.
Ladies, are you guilty of ever falling too hard, too soon?