Thinking Of Living Together Post-Breakup? Things To Consider
Rent is too damn high, and when you break up with someone you’ve been living with, sometimes remaining under the same roof with your ex seems like a better option than hastily jumping out of the window and signing a lease on a new apartment that you can’t afford or a spot in a neighborhood that you hate. Although it sounds quite awkward, cohabitating post-breakup has become increasingly common. If you’re considering living with an ex, here are some things you should definitely take into consideration before making a decision.
Are the two of you just looking to cohabitate until one of you finds a new place, until the lease is up, until the kids are a certain age, or indefinitely? Establishing a timeline for this generally awkward living arrangement helps both you and your ex to keep things in perspective. Setting a move-out date will give both of you a light at the end of the tunnel, which may help you to keep a level head when emotions are running high.
Is this a for real breakup or are you just two angry hotheads who will likely make up next week? Figuring out whether not it’s really over will help you to establish clear boundaries, which will in turn make the time you’re living under one roof as painless as possible. If it’s really over, refrain from sleeping together. Sex will only add to the messiness of this arrangement.
Have the two of you agreed to put off dating until you’re both in your own apartments or have you both decided to test the waters? If you’re leaning towards the latter, while it may be uncomfortable, you and your ex should probably sit down to discuss how this will work. You should both agree to respect the home you’ve built together by not bringing anyone to your shared place of dwelling because, well, aren’t things already uncomfortable enough?
Be honest: can you trust yourself not to continually fly off of the handle at your ex, adding toxicity to an already less-than-favorable arrangement? If not, you may want to explore other options. It’s perfectly fine to say that you’re not okay with remaining under the same roof now that you’re no longer together.