MadameNoire Featured Video

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

I shave about once a month now. It’s the best I can do, okay?

When Valentine’s Day came around last month, I wanted to get waxed down there. I really tried, guys. I wanted to surprise my significant other and do all the cheesy/sexy stuff you read about in Cosmopolitan. So I went to one of those European Wax Center websites and prepared to make an appointment. And then I just couldn’t do it.

I was reminded of the time I went and got a sugaring wax, which is supposed to be the least painful waxing option of all, only to leave with everything down there throbbing. The end results were fantastic, but the process to be as shiny as a billiard ball down there? It was terrible, especially since it was my first time getting professionally waxed. (Side note: The first time I tried to wax myself, I was left writhing in pain on my bedroom floor.  I was preparing to go back to my college campus the next day and to see my boyfriend at the time. I covered my shrieks in the hopes that my parents wouldn’t wake up and make an uncomfortable situation worse.)

So I exited out of the wax center websites and went home to handle things on my own, Veet bottle in hand and a magazine for my wait to get that bikini hair out of the way. But I just couldn’t put myself through anymore significant discomfort. Especially not for my partner, who would only care about my efforts for like 25 seconds before, you know, getting back to business.

Each time I put myself through such waxing agony, it’s been because I was trying to impress my significant other. I assumed that you should get yourself cleaned up before a possible sexual encounter. And after receiving a less than pleasant reaction to a very serious bush situation my freshman year of college, I realized that hairy situations aren’t necessarily humorous ones. So for a while there, in each relationship, I was constantly shaving.

But I hate it. If left up to me, I would look like the distant cousin of Chewbacca if I knew love interests didn’t give hairy private parts the deep sigh treatment. So I try to keep my legs from looking too Teen Wolf-ish, keep armpit hair to a minimum since I’m hellbent on wearing sleeveless tops before spring, and, at least, trim the hair down there so my fiancé doesn’t have to play I Spy to find what he’s looking for. But I will admit that as time has passed, I’ve gotten a bit lax about it. Sometimes I don’t shave at all because I just don’t have the time or energy for it all. And it seems like many other women are also putting all that primping on the backburner as they get further into serious relationships–to the chagrin of some of their mates.

Like this guy:

“So I’ve noticed with my past girlfriends they stop shaving their legs as often if at all the longer the relationship goes and most of my other guy friends say their girlfriends have done the same. I don’t expect ultra smooth baby skin on girl’s legs 24/7 but it’s nice if they shave at least twice a week or however often it takes to keep from getting really stubbly. So why when you like a guy more and more do you shave less and less for him?”

While others are shaving too much for their partners, to the point that they’re resentful.

Like this woman:

I feel like it’s become such a chore and the whole ‘if it was meant to be hairless, it would be!’ saying comes to mind.

Waxing is hell so I do it sparingly and have to resort to shaving prior to our sexual encounters and I know it only takes a few minutes but no matter how I do (direction hair is growing in, new razor, etc etc) I always end up with bumps/irritation because I have sensitive skin.

Sometimes I wish I could just be natural down there (a close trim, not a massive bush ofcourse!) and have him love it but he’s stated several times that he has a preference for a smoothly shaved vagina.

He also loves going down on me and I can understand how unpleasant it may be to have hair in your mouth but surely a close trim can’t be that bothersome and I’m sure its never stopped some guys from going down on a girl before?

When I bring it up he says its a preference not a neccessity but I can immediately tell he’s not as excited as when its newly shaved.

Is this just one of those things you grin and bare to please your partner?

And according to a survey done by YourTango in 2012 in which they interviewed 70 women around the country about grooming habits, they found that while some cared to keep it free and clear for a significant other, most only shaved sometimes, and did it for themselves.

So with all that being said, I wanted to know in what ways your shaving habits change as you enter into a relationship? How about far into a relationship? How often do you shave and when you do, why do you shave?

Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN