Don’t Be Thirsty: Signs It’s Time to Fall Back

46 comments
July 19, 2011 ‐ By Renay Alize


There’s nothing wrong with letting a man know how you feel about him; it’s courageous, but discretion is key. I like to think there are three types of women, the ones who aren’t scared to put themselves out there, the ones who chase after men and then there’s a third category of women who strap on roller skates to catch up to men who are obviously running away from them. Here are some signs that it might be time to hang up the skates, take off those sweaty socks and rest your pretty little feet for a bit. This advice may sound a little harsh, but a little tough love will only make you less thirsty. Also it’s worth noting that there is no room for judgment here. We could all find ourselves in this position if we haven’t already.

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  • btowne

    We do what we gotta do.

  • Curious1

    I do 1000% that some many women need to STOP BEING SO DANG ANGRY AND MAD AT THE WORLD..NOT JUST IN DATING WITH MEN…. BUT TO PEOPLE AT LARGE…I'm a woman and I even encounter the Angry One…for no reason at all..since I'm a stranger to 'em…whatcha' mad about…dang…

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  • Lucky

    ****Lucky’s best advice****
    The hell with that “Stay thirsty, my friends” commercial! Never give a guy the opportunity to even think you’re thirsty. (And until you know without a doubt that he’s really into you, always keep the upper hand.)

    PS: Renay, this article was on the money!

  • Coriander

    I've been engaging in some serious thirst bucket behavior…

    You forgot to list this gem:

    You're on Facebook and you look to see who is online and you see your ex or crush. They NEVER initiate the convo. You always do and guess what.. They are usually the first one to leave the convo whether they say goodbye or not.

    • http://www.facebook.com/marjica Marjica Watson Santos

      oh and there's another, when you text them and they text you back one word answers. such as oh, ok, nothing, yeah, no, and sup.

  • revel

    Excellent article! Every scenario was realistic and the advise is on point!

  • http://peridotdynasty.blogspot.com Ms. Williams

    I was dating a child with mother issues, anyway. So with him, his being busy and not returning calls also had a lot to do with his lack of socialization with other people. He was a well-known loner. I know he needed his me time and maybe we were never that much into each other, but I still took a little something from this article.

  • WOOOOOW

    omg same situation that i'm letting go of, especially since he goes home to his was -ex- but -now- we -talking- again girlfriend…

  • Ana

    LOL you are me 4 months ago…. I can tell you this, it gets easier… Take care of YOURSELF first…. Once you nurse your heart back to health, go be a diva and get you a man. But don't rush girl because you will get into something you're not ready for… You are going to crave the closeness you had with that A-hole and you're going to want to have it with someone who may not be ready either…. That's what I've learned thus far… :)

    Good luck getting back to you. You should listen to that Jennifer Hudson song, "I Remember Me." It's got a powerful message.

  • trueasiatic

    Why can't everything be on one page….this is monotonous….every article, damn…I'm out. (btw- I don't even have ADHD!)

  • Nottelling

    If #6 and #7 exist, then why even do #3 and expect #2?

  • JustSayin

    This is the best article this site has ever written.

  • HONEY LOVE

    We as women know that these signs are obvious. Its sad that we put ourselves into these situations. Hell, we'Ve all been in at least 1 of these scenarios im sure. We just have to come to the realization that we dont need a man to complete us. Maybe he is just trying to be nice and not hurt your feelings? The real question is why wont he just "man up" and say "hey, im just not that into you" but that would be too easy right? SOME men dont think like that. We were blessed with the female intuition and she screams sometimes. We are just too naive to pay her attention.

  • Ayoka

    This article is money right here. So many women need to hear this.

  • Lily

    I once heard a quote.. you know he's into you if your not confused.. as simple as that it I think its true you , know it working if aren't any games and your not always questioning things…and remember actions always speak louder than words. Easier said than done but I'd rather have my pride then someone who just thinks of my as an option

  • Phanie Ebene

    Damned!
    I am so ashamed I rated 9 signs out of 10! Thank God this situation is over and I am now dating a man whom I getting married to next year.
    But my previous relationship was exactly like it is pictured in the article, but love, bad-love/mad-love can make you so blind!
    I remember my inner voice telling this is not right you gat to move on, but somehow, I was just holding him down, and kept on coming back, cause I thought that, with time I'd give him so much love he'd finally love me!
    I am blessed that I finally got over it!

    • SS Allure

      You hit the nail on the head. I think most of us believe that if we keep giving them more love, they will love us but it almost never happens. I read something somewhere that stuck with me "No man is worth crying over but when you meet one who is, he will never make you cry". Love should not be so complicated but we all have to learn at our own pace.

  • deedee

    I am guilty of all of these in the "relationship" I'm disconnecting from… 2+ years… He even told me on multple occasions to start dating other people, move on.. but no.. I kept thirsting after his fountain like it was holy water. I feel like such a fool. even worse. My friends are suprised that I let myself get caught up. I have no one to blame. So I implore the young ladies of today to keep your mind focused on things above and your legs closed.

    • WhenAWomansFeduP

      I can relate.

    • btowne

      I agree.

  • http://twitter.com/hair_by_llyj snaillyj

    My “ex” had me guilty of almost all of these. Especially the facebook post one.

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  • lesliewright

    This is good reading. Most ppl know when their relationship is bad, fake ,or a fraud they just don’t want to admit it.

  • Steelcitychick

    @daneille….Right! I don’t know any women who wouldn’t get that type of message!….Ladies…if you ever have to question your relationship status, it’s time to move the hell on! Bottom line..”he’s just not into you like that”!

  • danielle

    lmao @ #7 "You type it again and five minutes later it’s gone again. Message baby girl, message."

    who are these game goofy chicks? lol

  • Kayla

    and besides no man likes a desperate girl. make him work for it,

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  • Arabelle

    That opening paragraph only introduces basically one category of women.

    • Curious1

      It is one sided…I'm waiting to see the list on What "Men" FIND attractive about women…we can all find fault or flaws on a BW…that has become a hunting sport..it takes a BIGGER person to FIND some positive about another person or shytuation…

  • Jennifer

    I can related toooooooo much; SMH @ me;; #Jesustakethewheel

    • UrGoddessness69

      Girl, you too??? Sheesh, I'm reading and almost relate to every single thing in this article. I stepped away a long time ago and stopped waiting on him completely. You can do it, Jennifer! God has your back!

  • Alexandria

    Wow, only three out of ten and it still stings a bit. It's time to re-evaluate this relationship or lack there of.

    • Danielle

      Girl…I had 50%…I'm already erasing pictures…..

    • WhenAWomansFeduP

      3 years together and he has never asked me what I want out of life, what my goals for the future are, what my dreams are… he never asks me about myself outside of how was my day. Its only 1 on the list, but it hit me pretty hard.

  • http://mynameismisswhite.blogspot.com/ Miss White

    Being a thirstbucket is never cute. I think men should pursue women. If a woman chooses to be assertive, and go after what she wants, that's cool too. But I just think it's important we make sure the feeling is mutual before we go balls to the wall.

    I wrote about this on my site too. – http://mynameismisswhite.blogspot.com/2010/12/go-

    • JustAshley

      I totally agree. I've never been in a situaton like these listed here and its probably because I let the guy do the running.

    • Coop C

      I must disagree. Men courting a Lady is proper, however we don't have Jedi mind tricks to see that you all like us or not. Being thirsty and bringing your 50% to the relationship are two diff things. If you can't see that he avoids, hides, and overall doesn't communicate with you unless it's YOU coming to him, then you deserve this heart break coming your way.

  • Carmen

    It’s only been 6th months, but yeah this article was like ~ how do you know us, ~ although I m glad I read this I have to say I had already started my disappearing act,

    One more thing if you find your self in this kind of situation, go to the most expensive shop and or car dealership, and began to think of yourself as that highly priced luxury items this person can never afford : )

  • Anna

    One word: AWKWARD….

    Few more words: Reminds me the Nikki Parker/Professor Oglevee Dynamic… And most of my high school relationships.
    He's just not that into you.

    • Shay

      nikki parker did eventually get her man though lol

      • Anna

        AFTER she moved on to another one…

  • sdot

    i wouldnt say this is just based on relationships, but dating too. so i think this article is very good!!!!

    • http://blackloveandpower.com/ mansa emanuel

      Interesting insight…i discuss love and relationships and other issues pertaining to our culture. seach black love and power . com read the article on black love