Surprising Reasons Your Parents Want You To Get Married (Already!)
If your parents nag you about when you’re getting married, you might assume it’s just their “old timey” ways poisoning their brain. You might think they push for you to get a ring on it because you’re embarrassing them among their friends group being that you’re that one weird daughter who can’t land a man.
You insist and insist, “You guys I’m fiiiinnee.” You remind them that you’re happy, you have an active social life, wonderful friends, and a satisfying career. You even have an adorable dog who loves you! You live a fulfilling life. You’re happy. Why can’t they be happy for you? Well, maybe it doesn’t boil down to them worrying about your happiness, or even worrying that their friends at the Wine Club will keep asking them when their “One single daughter” is getting hitched. Here are surprising reasons your parents want you to get married.
They feel a little guilty going on trips and not inviting you. But real talk: they’d like to go to Europe without you. They’d like somebody else to bring you along on trips.
They have a wedding fund
Your parents might have a secret wedding fund that they’ve been growing for you for years. They can’t keep it a secret much longer, and if you don’t get married, they’re just going to have to give it to you and hope you don’t spend it on that extravagant handbag you’ve been wanting.
So you stop calling so much
Maybe your mom, as much as she loves you, has other things to do besides talk to you from 8 to 10 pm every night about who you think will earn an investment on Shark Tank. Maybe your mom and your dad want to go out.
So you get a new emergency contact
Because you’re a hypochondriac, and your mom gets too many phone calls every time you faint because you think a scratch in your throat is pneumonia.
They want you to get on your spouse’s health insurance plan! They would feel like monsters cutting you out of the plan, but really, it’s time.
You drink too much
Your mom noticed last time she visited that every bartender in town knew you by name and the cashier at the grocery store had your six pack of white wine bottles ready for you. She’s hoping a husband would, you know, stop this.
You’re carrying a lot of it, and your parents cosigned your loans. Maybe your husband could…perhaps…take over that consignor position?
You need to learn how to cook
For goodness sake, you thought you could eat raw ravioli. If you don’t learn to cook for your own sake, maybe you’ll learn for a spouse, and then you can both not die from eating…what did you call it? Marinara sushi?
So you don’t die alone
You’re not the only one who has nightmares about dying alone in your apartment and having nobody find you (besides your cats licking your face) for a month.
Hey, sometimes they would like to travel with you! They’d like to do couple’s activities with you! But they can’t have you bring your friend Trish (who brings weird guys to your area at the swimming pool) as your plus one anymore.
They want grandchildren!
If you have a small family, your parents might want to make sure it grows. They might also be very, very bored and would gladly babysit.
They’re curious about your sexuality
They’re fine with whatever it is, but they’re really not sure what it is. If you bring home a fiance, then they’ll be very clear on which way you swing.
Your grandparents left you a fund
Your grandparents have even more antiquated ideas. Your grandparents might have left you a certain sum of money that you only receive once you are married. Your parents don’t want to tell you because they want you to keep believing your grandparents loved you no matter way.
You can’t fix anything
Every time your parents visit your apartment something new is wrong. You have duct tape holding together pretty much every window, hinge and pipe in your home. You really need somebody who can fix this.
They want you to be happy!
Don’t forget that your parents love you. They know how nice it is to have a companion with whom you share life. They want that for you. They know you’re amazing, and they think somebody else should recognize that, too!